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Emily Fox4 said:Hello. I find myself in a situation I wouldn’t wish on anyone... It concerns my mother. Based on what I have read here, it seems she exhibits many symptoms of schizophrenia. However, before I seek advice, I would like to share the full story. I hope you might be able to offer some guidance. Thank you in advance for listening.🙂 To expand on what I said earlier regarding my mother: I must admit that I may sound harsh when describing her, but we were never close, nor did she ever attempt to be a real mother to me. My estrangement from her began about fifteen years ago when my father, my mother, and I (I was six at the time) moved abroad for her career. She is a prominent research scientist or something similar. At that age, I didn't speak a word of English, and they enrolled me in a public school where I was sent to see a psychiatrist simply because I sat there staring blankly at people—thank God, I just couldn't understand anything being taught. I mostly remember the mockery and teasing I faced, though perhaps that is just how I perceived it. Once they realized the situation wasn't working, they moved me to a private academy where I studied the language, and things were actually quite alright regarding my education. However, the home life was different. My mother worked day and night; we practically never saw her, while my father stayed by my side and looked after me. That continued for a few years.
Then, suddenly, my father and I returned to the States, while my mother left to work in America. I didn't even understand why all of this was happening or why we were being separated. For a few years, I lived alone with my father, who wasn't working because he was struggling to finish his degree—he ended up being one of those perennial students who studies for ten years without graduating. During those years, my mother sent us no money at all, even though she was living in a hotel. Financially, we relied on my aunt, my grandmother, and my grandfather—my extended family. In those years, I saw her twice and spoke to her maybe ten times.🙄 After she left so abruptly, she returned just as suddenly, carrying a debt that my grandparents had to pay off at my father's request. It always baffled me how my father would constantly cater to her; he would do whatever she wanted, even if it meant going against me, just to please her. Despite that, I always had a decent, sometimes close relationship with him, whereas my mother and I were like cats and dogs. I could never trust her with anything. She never offered advice, nor did she seem to care about my life; she often wasn't even sure what grade I was in.
Following her return, the "show" began. Everyone noticed her behavior becoming strange. She believes she is being watched, that people are plotting against her, or eavesdropping. This went on for about two years until it became unbearable. Over the last year, her behavior has escalated: she makes scenes almost every other day, screaming, throwing things, and fabricating stories. She harasses my father at his job and searches for him at his university. She hallucinates, hears voices, and feels watched. Throughout all of this, she has a specific vendetta against me; she blames my father and his family for everything. Furthermore, most of her delusions revolve around sexual themes—claiming my father is unfaithful, even though she is the one who should be embarrassed by such accusations. She also spends excessively, but never on us; instead, she spends on herself or her brother's family, like paying for a cousin's field trip, while we receive warnings about unpaid bills.
You are probably wondering why nothing has been done. Naturally, she believes she is perfectly sane. If anyone dares to suggest otherwise, it results in an uproar. My father keeps promising he will take action, but nothing happens; he was raised with the mindset of "suffer in silence." There were several times when, during one of her episodes, I tried to call 911, but my father would grab the phone away from me.
Now, I am asking for your advice on what to do. Honestly, I am asking so I can help myself, because I feel like I am losing my mind. I have become irritable, rude, and generally morose. I used to be the type of person who loved socializing and being cheerful, but now I avoid everything because I never know what to expect when I walk through the door. I cannot enjoy my youth because I am constantly living in fear of her. Thank you.