Schizophrenia - General Discussion
in Psychology & Therapy ·
Hey everyone, I decided I should probably share my experience dealing with schizophrenia:
It all started last summer, beginning as this heavy cloud of depression and anxiety—I just slowly lost interest in everything. My boyfriend at the time (we had been together for two years) kept accusing me of being lazy and just acting out, so I ended up breaking up with him around October. Things really spiraled during the Christmas season—I went out with a few friends to a club in downtown Chicago, and while it seemed like a normal night out at first, as the hours passed, I started losing touch with reality. I want to be clear: I wasn't drunk, and I hadn't taken any drugs. Suddenly, every sound started blending together like a massive swarm of voices inside my head, and my vision became blurry, almost like I was watching a slow-motion film... eventually, I ended up sitting on the floor, screaming and pulling at my hair. 🙂 Luckily, a friend noticed what was happening, got me out of there immediately, and took me back to his place. The next day, I felt completely exhausted, confused, and lost... when I finally explained everything to a psychologist, she told me that hospitalization was unavoidable. So, within a week, I found myself admitted to a psychiatric ward at a major hospital in the city—specifically the tenth floor (back in 2008, my mother was also on that same unit due to chronic depression). I have to admit, the stay actually surprised me in a good way—the staff was great, the atmosphere was positive, and the nurses were gentle and the doctors were very reasonable. 🙂 The biggest struggle was finding the right medication balance—first it was Prazo, then Zyprexa, Moditen, Haldol, Risperdal, and finally Seroquel, which is what finally pulled me out of that acute phase. Along with that, I’m currently taking xanax and Velafax. I spent two months in the hospital and finally returned home feeling okay. Unfortunately, after about four and a half months, the symptoms started creeping back in: deep, overlapping voices, the sensation of insects crawling on my arms and legs, depersonalization, and catatonic states involving repetitive, unnatural movements... my doctor just kept increasing my dosage of Seroquel and xanax, telling me I simply had to accept these symptoms and live with them. It might have stayed that way if I hadn't had another intense episode this past Christmas—everything felt just like it did last year, except this time I trashed my entire bathroom and cut my arms and legs. So, from Christmas until now, I haven't been able to get out of bed... I'm terrified of being judged or getting those weird looks from people. But it looks like I'll be heading back to the hospital again soon... I just hope the atmosphere is as good as it was last time... 🤷
It all started last summer, beginning as this heavy cloud of depression and anxiety—I just slowly lost interest in everything. My boyfriend at the time (we had been together for two years) kept accusing me of being lazy and just acting out, so I ended up breaking up with him around October. Things really spiraled during the Christmas season—I went out with a few friends to a club in downtown Chicago, and while it seemed like a normal night out at first, as the hours passed, I started losing touch with reality. I want to be clear: I wasn't drunk, and I hadn't taken any drugs. Suddenly, every sound started blending together like a massive swarm of voices inside my head, and my vision became blurry, almost like I was watching a slow-motion film... eventually, I ended up sitting on the floor, screaming and pulling at my hair. 🙂 Luckily, a friend noticed what was happening, got me out of there immediately, and took me back to his place. The next day, I felt completely exhausted, confused, and lost... when I finally explained everything to a psychologist, she told me that hospitalization was unavoidable. So, within a week, I found myself admitted to a psychiatric ward at a major hospital in the city—specifically the tenth floor (back in 2008, my mother was also on that same unit due to chronic depression). I have to admit, the stay actually surprised me in a good way—the staff was great, the atmosphere was positive, and the nurses were gentle and the doctors were very reasonable. 🙂 The biggest struggle was finding the right medication balance—first it was Prazo, then Zyprexa, Moditen, Haldol, Risperdal, and finally Seroquel, which is what finally pulled me out of that acute phase. Along with that, I’m currently taking xanax and Velafax. I spent two months in the hospital and finally returned home feeling okay. Unfortunately, after about four and a half months, the symptoms started creeping back in: deep, overlapping voices, the sensation of insects crawling on my arms and legs, depersonalization, and catatonic states involving repetitive, unnatural movements... my doctor just kept increasing my dosage of Seroquel and xanax, telling me I simply had to accept these symptoms and live with them. It might have stayed that way if I hadn't had another intense episode this past Christmas—everything felt just like it did last year, except this time I trashed my entire bathroom and cut my arms and legs. So, from Christmas until now, I haven't been able to get out of bed... I'm terrified of being judged or getting those weird looks from people. But it looks like I'll be heading back to the hospital again soon... I just hope the atmosphere is as good as it was last time... 🤷