Posts by placidheron7

David Vaughn75 said:Look, nobody’s nailed down the exact cause yet—but we do know that any kind of life frustration just acts like gasoline on a fire when it comes to fueling psychosis.

So, if you think about it, the best "cure" for psychosis is basically just living a decent, high-quality life.
The problem is, half the people out there don't even have a clue what a "quality life" actually looks like, which is why they end up sitting on a therapist's couch in the first place. Take a woman stuck in an abusive marriage, for example—she isn't just going to pack her bags and bolt immediately. You've got to dig into those deeper, messy psychological triggers that keep us paralyzed and stuck in place before anything actually changes.

Thank god... finally someone else who isn't screaming that pills are the only way to fix cause and effect. 🙏

Robin Lopez2 said:Unless we're talking about psychosis, then maybe—otherwise, there's no chance at all.

When I asked my psychiatrist how long I'd be on these pills, he just told me: "Be grateful that good medications actually exist!" So, looks like I'll be taking antipsychotics until the day I die.

Look, here's the thing—I know for MY specific situation, meds shouldn't even be necessary. But they wouldn't give me an official diagnosis because they didn't want to "burden" me with it. I've heard things, seen things, and totally lost my grip for about two years straight, plus some weird episodes back when I was a kid... whether that's actual psychosis or something else entirely, I don't know. But for whatever this thing is I'm dealing with—which might not even be full-blown schizophrenia—pills aren't required. If there's anyone out there who feels the same way... if such a person even exists... just know you're not alone.

Nobody could ever talk me into believing I was sick during my first long-lasting psychotic episode. But once that moment hits—that first time you actually think to yourself, "Wait, maybe I *am* actually sick"—that’s when everything changes. Since then, I’ve been constantly practicing talking back to my own brain, trying to convince the rational side of me to stay in control. Honestly, once you have that realization, I truly believe it's possible to dial this illness way down and manage it incredibly well. If you're actually putting in the work on yourself, if you've got someone in your corner who will snap you out of it when you start spiraling, and if you can just walk away from the booze, the THC, and all that other junk... it works. Some people just need a reality check from a friend to ignore the irrational bullshit, some need a psychologist, and others need a heavy-duty psychotherapist to keep them on track. But you *can* handle this without meds if you get the right support and guidance. Life is total crap if you decide to look at it that way...
Chaos

Why is everyone in this place so freaking heartless and stuck-up?
And seriously, why are you all so obsessed with your specific diagnosis and your meds? Why can't you just let other people call themselves crazy if they want to? Why does it feel like I have to walk on eggshells with every single word I say here?
Why don't you guys just go outside, walk barefoot through some grass, and actually try living a normal life for once? Why aren't you really *living*?
Look, I'm crazy, fine. But nobody even bothered to tell me what was wrong with me in the first place, so honestly, I stopped giving a damn about the specifics...
So, are you gonna tear me apart right now or are you actually gonna answer me? 🍿

I used to have all these intense ideas, and everyone was talking about me—obviously in a bad way. Every single thing felt targeted, you know? Like, every action had some specific reason tied directly back to me, the shows I went to were definitely about me, anything on TV was somehow signaling me, even the songs... it was all connected. And I mean, when you're watching a movie, you can interpret any line or scene however you want, but in those moments of psychosis—when I actually believed everything was real—nothing could talk me out of it. I just figured everyone was out to get me anyway. Ever since I realized on my own that I’m dealing with this, having people say things to pull me back to reality has been a huge help. Honestly, I think you can do so much more (in a good way) for someone once there's even a tiny bit of doubt in their mind that they might be sick. Before that realization hits, it's just so much harder... you need a ton of long-term work with a professional.

Actually, now that I see some of you mentioning that relationship delusions are more abstract, I'm wondering if what I just wrote counts as that. Because if I genuinely thought I was living in some kind of demonic world, then I guess that's pretty concrete, not abstract :P

Look, what you're describing doesn't sound like schizophrenia to me at all... it just sounds like a logical side effect of sleep deprivation. Plus, it’s actually pretty common for most people to experience this right before they drift off. You get these random, disjointed, totally weird thoughts, and then you finally sink into sleep. It’s probably just some pre-sleep processing stage. Just look at your dreams—they’re usually just as bizarre and scattered 😁 Since you’re struggling with insomnia, it’s hitting you way harder because those two things just feed into each other. Honestly, I think those messy, nonsensical thoughts happen to everyone... I know the most chill, normal person on the planet and even they deal with it. I’m a bit of a mess myself, so I won't go into my own specific examples, but Ellen DeGeneres had this great stand-up bit where she describes exactly that—how she’ll be thinking and suddenly there's a giant mushroom, and she's just like, "Wait, where did a mushroom come from?" 😁 Look, I'm not a doctor or anything, this is just my take on what you're going through. And honestly? I think you're overthinking and stressing about your inability to sleep too much, which just makes the whole thing worse. It's like when a woman is trying to get pregnant and she stresses out so much that it actually prevents her from conceiving... or when your period is late (:claps hands🙂 then you freak out and it ends up being even later. Or like when I wake up in the middle of the night and tell myself, "Great, now you're never gonna fall back asleep," and then I just get pissed at myself for even saying it. And that thing where you wake up in the night and your brain starts racing? That happens all the time. I don't know the technical term, but I remember reading about it... it's that weird limbo between sleeping and being fully awake. You know, like when an alarm goes off and for five minutes you have no clue where you are or who you're talking to. But hey, maybe I'm completely wrong 🙂. Anyway, I'm gonna stop typing before my back starts aching, blah blah blah.

Thanks, man, that’s seriously kind of you 🙂

Look, I’m fully aware that everyone in this group is on some kind of meds, and honestly, I’m not even trying to start a massive debate about it because let’s face it... it’s a losing battle from the jump. But fine, whatever. Thanks for trying to help, I guess.

peace 🙂

Thanks for the advice, really, but I just can't bring myself to do that right now... there's zero motivation when I don't even see the point. Even my doctor didn't push me on it. Honestly, I'm just trying to wrap my head around what makes my situation different from anyone else's... just trying to get a better grip on why this is happening to me.

Larry Lewis, I already explained why I even started this thread... I just want to know if there's actually a difference between my experience and someone living with schizophrenia, because my doctors haven't explained a damn thing to me. And look, sorry if my saying "popping pills" pissed you off, I didn't mean it as an insult—it’s just how people talk, you know? Just because I feel okay doesn't mean I don't have issues, but honestly, I'm not digging your tone. No need to belittle me. Yeah, I want kids someday, and yeah, if I have to be on meds, I'll try to wait as long as possible to minimize the damage to my body. What's the big deal? As for the medication talk, you're talking to someone who is actually sick here, not some random guy from the neighborhood who thinks schizophrenics are just serial killers and nothing more... so please, don't start looking down on me before you even know me.

Henry Garcia9, when I was in the middle of a full-blown psychosis, I had no clue it was happening... I genuinely thought everything was real. The demons were people, everyone around me... and when I was alone, the demons were right there, just draining the life out of me. Every single day. It wasn't until I was trying to settle some final matters—things that felt like they were standing in the way of reaching perfection and letting Jesus come for me—that I finally thought: Wait, what if this isn't actually true? So I Googled "sch." and told the one person I actually trust. Now, no matter how convinced I am in the moment that the psychosis is real, there's always this tiny part of me that knows I have a problem. Even when the delusions feel 100% real, that healthy part of me reaches out to whoever I'm talking to and we just push through together. These episodes... they're getting shorter now, less intense. And about the doctors... I feel like they should be able to spot everything, but by the time I reached out, I was already aware I was sick, so maybe they just saw it as something that had already passed. Honestly, I really don't know...

At first, I was really hesitant about the meds. It felt like nobody actually knew what triggers psychosis for sure, and honestly, seeing how those episodes can just come rushing back even while you're on them—plus all the side effects... and I want to have a baby, you know? So, I figured I’d try my own way first. I truly believed it was the right path, thinking if things got worse or if I wasn't making progress, then I'd cave and go the medication route. But here's the thing... I'm feeling better and better and better. It's been this slow, steady climb upward, and there is zero chance I'm turning back to drugs now. I need my brain intact and my willpower for this fight, and my results? They've been 100% effective. There were definitely moments early on where I just thought, "Screw it, if this is how life is gonna be, I'll just crash and burn." And man, am I glad I didn't. If things take a massive dive later in life and this system of mine stops working despite my best efforts, then fine, I'll deal with the meds. But until then, I'm sticking with my way and I'm happy about it.

Nicole Barrett76, thanks for getting back to me!
If I’d stayed stuck in my own little head, totally convinced my reality was the only truth, that would have lasted a whole year. Before that period, I had a year of episodes too, but they were way milder because I wasn't totally cut off from everyone else (meaning, I didn't think certain people were demons, just that some people were 😛 ). After a year of being isolated in my own world, I finally reached out to my doctor, and it’s been 7 months since then. Honestly, my doctor hasn't been much help at all—it feels like one-on-one therapy basically doesn't exist, so I've been dealing with my issues, or trying to, mostly on my own with one other person who talks sense into me and keeps me grounded. I don't really care about the actual diagnosis itself; I don't give a damn what they label it because everything feels pretty much the same anyway. But looking at it this way, I honestly don't see the difference between me and anyone else. This is the first time I've even heard from you that schizo is only considered if the episode lasts more than a month... some people say the real line is whether you're "functional" or not, but that feels like total BS to me. The only reason I was acting "normal" was because of the stuff I was reading and my absolute, unwavering trust in God, nothing else. Other people claim people with schizophrenia have flat emotions, but I don't know if that's part of the illness or just a side effect of the meds? My emotions are intense as hell, and I'm not even on medication. And regarding my doctor—well, all the doctors I've seen—they all seemed pretty confused by me. They treated me like I was just a bit disoriented or going through a "phase." I don't know if it's because most of them are seeing patients for the first time during an acute psychotic break in the hospital, or if I'm just not that sick. Who knows. The first doctor I saw was literally just flipping through a manual right in front of me, trying to figure it out. After two tries, she landed on Borderline, though she said it wasn't a formal diagnosis. And everyone, once they found out what I was studying and that I was actually finishing up, was convinced it couldn't be schizo. What I thought was my mission—studying like a maniac for entire days while ignoring the demons trying to trip me up and make me fail my exams—they just saw it as "wow, how did you pull that off?" I don't know, I'm just kind of lost. I need someone who actually gets this to explain what schizo really is... like, what makes a person like that different from me.

I honestly thought I was surrounded by demons... like, I felt like God had tossed me into this hellscape of pure evil just because of my own sins. I was talking to Him through the Bible, obviously, trying to figure out where I went wrong and what I needed to fix. During that whole stretch, I actually completely overhauled how I function—turned things around for the better. I was just waiting for Jesus to pull me back into the real world, back to people, but the demons wouldn't leave me alone. They were talking to me through voices in my head, showing me stuff, and I could hear others whispering about me and harassing me constantly. I didn't bother telling anyone because they weren't actual people, they were demons... and what’s the point in talking to them when only God can get me out of that place? Honestly, I was more than functional. I was getting things done because He was giving me tasks, and nothing felt too heavy since I wasn't alone while He was guiding me. That’s why I say I was "functional." It all made sense to me at the time—that everything was a message, that everyone was talking about me... I mean, if you're a demon, it's not like it's hard to get inside your 😛. When it first hit me that maybe this wasn't real life and that I might actually be sick, I went to see my doctor. I laid it all out for her and told her straight up: I don't want to take meds because I don't see proof they actually work, but I'll consider it if my own way of treating myself doesn't kick in. She was cool with it. So, through talking to someone close to me, doing constant self-analysis, and just grinding through every single hour of that world, I started moving from hour-by-hour to every half day, then every day, then every two days... then total chaos... and then little by little over these 7 months, I've finally reached these lucid days. I never thought I'd see them. And then there's the delusions, which are much milder now, so everything feels okay again. The delusions follow the same pattern, but talking always helps, and the progress has been huge. I figured, if I could survive a year of living through literal hell, there's no way I couldn't teach my brain how to be rational and feed it objectivity instead of just nonsense. I don't know... I think it's a mental illness often triggered by trauma, but I still don't believe in the pills when I can see that my own method is working. I don't drink or smoke weed anymore, period. I'm curious though... what's the actual difference between me and someone with schizophrenia? My doctor didn't give me a diagnosis because she didn't want to label me. But why do others get labeled? To her, I seemed totally normal, and she was just surprised by how much I analyze everything, but I didn't even seem weird to other people, even while I was hearing voices and having my delusions. I can express myself perfectly fine, and I analyze things because that's just who I am—I used to solve problems through analysis before all this happened, so it's just natural for me. My awareness of everything else is totally intact; it's just that one part—the part where I perceive the demons—that's crazy. Lol

Can someone please explain what it actually means when a person with schizophrenia says their psychosis has come back? Like, what even is psychosis? I'm asking because I'm trying to figure out the line between someone with that diagnosis and myself. The reason I’ve been able to stay functional isn't some magical recovery... it’s just because I figured there was no point in making a scene and I had stuff I needed to get done. That's the only reason I stayed on track. I’m basically looking for the similarities and differences between my experience and someone with a formal schizophrenia diagnosis so I can actually make sense of myself and other people... and maybe understand why I haven't been given a diagnosis myself. Thanks

Man, this thread is already 225 pages deep... I’ve been scrolling through here before, but honestly, I kept skipping over huge chunks of it. Most of what I actually bothered to read was just people listing their meds, debating their specific dosages, or arguing over whether schizophrenia is caused by brain damage or whatever else... plus all the typical forum bickering and finger-pointing between users. But the specific thing I'm looking for? I haven't found a single damn word about it yet...

Can someone please break down what actually triggers a hospitalization for you guys? I’m not even worried about the aftermath, I just want to know what happens *before*—like, what's the breaking point where doctors decide you absolutely have to be admitted? If anyone could give me a specific example, that would be huge. Also, regarding this whole thing about psychosis returning and switching up meds... what does "my psychosis is coming back" actually look like in practice? I’ve been struggling with something for a while now; all the psychotic symptoms were there, but since I was still able to hold down a job and stay "functional," they wouldn't give me an official diagnosis. But I really need to understand this side of things, so if anyone can answer these questions, I’d really appreciate it.