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Thanks a ton for such a detailed breakdown 🙂 Honestly, 9 pounds isn't even that much of a gap 😛 I’m going to start the medication, so fingers crossed it actually does its job, though I know I’ve got a lot of heavy lifting to do on my own, too...
Hey there. Looking for some perspective and maybe a little info here. I’ve been struggling with sleep for about a year and a half now. There were stretches where I’d sleep okay, but it never lasted more than ten days at a time. For the last six months, though? It’s just constant. Falling asleep is a struggle—it usually takes me two or three hours once my head hits the pillow (unless I stay up super late, like hitting the sack at 2 or 3 AM). Then there’s the middle-of-the-night stuff; I wake up every single night, maybe twice, once during the night and again right before dawn. If I have to be up early, say by 9 or 10 AM, I’m averaging maybe five or six hours. On days when I can sleep in, I get closer to seven or eight. I’m trying to work through this step-by-step. I tried talking to a psychologist, which actually helped me realize that, looking at things objectively, my situation isn't quite as catastrophic as it feels. I even tried wearing myself out with physical exercise, but honestly, that didn't change much. Now I’ve started seeing a psychiatrist. Since the insomnia kicked in, I’ve been having hallucinations while lying in bed, which really spooked me—made me worry I was dealing with some heavy-duty mental illness. My doctor told me they’re just hypnagogic and hypnopompic hallucinations—basically just things you see while drifting off or waking up. She said I’m overthinking the whole "how much sleep will I get" thing, that I’m terrified of losing my mind, and that I'm just incredibly tense. She diagnosed me with F41.3 anxiety. At first, she put me on Clonazepam to help me relax, but that did nothing. After that, I tried Oxazepam 5mg; sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. During the day, I’m actually fine—I’m not irritable, my concentration is solid, and I function normally, except for being perpetually exhausted. I’m mostly worried that because I’m studying so hard, the lack of sleep might actually push me over the edge (I know, I know, I’m creating this feedback loop of anxiety, but it's hard to stop the cycle). Right before bed, I get this wave of dread that I won't be able to fall asleep. I toss and turn for hours, and my brain just won't shut up. Random thoughts just fly through my head uncontrollably, which made me wonder if it was schizophrenia, but after some psych testing and interviews, my doctor reassured me it wasn't. My brain is just constantly running, probably from all the studying. Physically, I feel okay, but the stress from the sleep deprivation is constant. Anyway, my doctor finally recommended psychotherapy (which I'll be starting soon) and prescribed Odonazin / Calixt / Mirtazapine. She explained that my issues are driven by tension and fear rather than "pure" insomnia. She also mentioned that these meds can cause weight gain and suggested I wait a few months to see if things improve before starting them. I’m curious about anyone’s experience with this medication, specifically regarding the weight gain (I've read that a lot of people end up putting on pounds). Any advice would be appreciated. 🙂 🙂
Hey everyone. I figured I’d jump in here since this seems to be the most active thread regarding schizophrenia. I'm looking for some perspective or maybe just some advice.
So, for about a year now, insomnia has been my shadow. It takes me anywhere from two to three hours just to drift off. I’ve tried the whole "exhaust yourself" routine at the local Gold's Gym, sat through sessions with a psychologist, and even tried taking some Xanax for a bit, but nothing sticks. Back in the summer, when I was running on total fumes, I’d pass out pretty quick. Now? I’m getting maybe five to seven hours, and I’m waking up constantly in the middle of the night. I spend the next day looking like a zombie with dark circles under my eyes, though weirdly enough, I don't feel physically drained.
The insomnia comes with a side of mental noise. When I finally hit the pillow and close my eyes, desperate to pass out, my brain just starts racing. And I don't mean "thinking about my to-do list" racing—it's different. These aren't thoughts I'm consciously projecting. It’s more like words and sentences just... dropping into my head. They don't connect to anything. I can actually hear them in my mind. I’d break them down into three buckets:
1. Random words that just pop in, totally out of nowhere and without any rhyme or reason.
2. Strings of words or disjointed sentences that float by right before I manage to fall asleep. These get particularly intense if I wake up in the middle of the night, but they always seem to subside enough for me to drift off again.
3. Sentences or thoughts that feel like they’re being spoken by people I actually know—like a coworker using their specific inflection to say, "That's how you do it!" Or, it's like hearing a snippet of dialogue from a TV show or pulling a single sentence out of a book without the context. Just a fragment hanging there.
Honestly, the thoughts aren't terrifying in themselves. If it's just a few sentences, I usually ride the wave and fall asleep. But if it's just those random words, I stay wide awake.
The sensation when this happens is similar to being in a trance or a semi-dream state, except it feels like one part of my consciousness is generating these thoughts while another part is just standing there, watching them happen in parallel.
I am fully aware that these aren't real. They only happen late at night right before bed or first thing in the morning when I wake up; during the day, everything is quiet. Still, it’s messing with my head.
A few months ago, my psychiatrist told me these are hypnagogic hallucinations—stuff that happens right on the edge of sleep. Apparently, not everyone experiences them, but I'm worried because they seem to be getting more intense lately.
The hardest part is trying to explain what they actually sound like.
While it's happening, I feel like I'm dreaming while still being awake. Part of my mind tracks the thoughts, and then once they pass, I snap back to full awareness and start analyzing them—which makes me wonder how I even thought of them in the first place. Then I forget them and try to go back to sleep, and the whole cycle repeats until I finally crash.
For instance, while trying to drift off, the word "pride" just flashed in my mind. Or, I’ll clearly hear a friend's voice saying, "Look at these stairs."
I've already booked another appointment with my doctor because I'm genuinely spooked.
Can anyone tell me if this is a symptom of schizophrenia? It's starting to really scare me.
Thanks for listening. 🙂