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I just realized I completely neglected to mention in my previous comment that I actually went ahead and consulted with my psychiatrist—and apparently, my symptoms don't align with anything related to schizophrenia at all.
I wouldn't say I'm afraid of the image anymore—that fear has just... evaporated, vanished entirely—but I still get this occasional knot in my stomach. It’s that specific kind of nervous tension you get right before a massive final exam at State University, that deep, unsettled anxiety that sits in your gut. But as for the suicidal urges? Those are gone.
Maybe it's just lingering nerves combined with some eye damage. Honestly, prior to that whole incident, I never dealt with panic attacks or any thoughts of self-harm. But once I laid eyes on that picture... man, by the very next day, the terror was so overwhelming I genuinely felt like there was no way out.
Thanks a million. Honestly, I spend an absurd amount of time glued to my PC—gaming is practically my full-time job at this point—and my parents are constantly riding my back about it, you know? "Don't ruin your eyesight, son," they say... it’s the same old lecture every single day. But look, I've always had this massive dream of driving a semi-truck professionally one day, so I suppose I really ought to be a bit more careful with my vision now if I want that to actually happen. Anyway, thanks again. 🙂
And there is another thing—there’s this neighbor living right across from me who struggles with schizophrenia; she keeps her curtains drawn tight all day and never steps foot outside. Honestly, I only feel a sense of relief when I’m out with my friends or my mom—it helps me forget the whole situation. Just to be clear, there is absolutely no history of schizophrenia in my family. What am I supposed to do? When the panic hits, I get these terrifying thoughts that I won't be able to take it anymore—that I'll have to end my own life. What should I do? Is it even possible to see if I have schizophrenia on a CT-heads scan? And... I can't help but feel these overwhelming emotions when I imagine what my parents would look like if I actually went through with it. My eyes just well up and I start crying.
Greetings—I stumbled upon this forum quite by chance. To be perfectly honest, I have always had a penchant for macabre tales and horror stories, but this particular incident... well, it truly pushed me over the edge. It all started on Instagram, in a photography group, where there was this image of a Siberian Husky—it was smiling, but with these absolutely demonic eyes—and the caption claimed that simply looking at the photo would drive you insane and lead you to take your own life. I was so utterly terrified that I couldn't sleep for two full days. By the third night, I even tried sleeping in my brother's bed just to feel some sense of security, but sleep eluded me entirely. Then, a sudden, piercing headache struck me so hard I felt physically nauseated. Eventually, I managed to drift off, somehow. However, the following day, I began experiencing this sharp pain on the left side of my head, near the crown. I took some Tylenol and the pain subsided, but then things took a turn for the worse. When I attempted to nap in the afternoon, I would be jolted awake by these violent, full-body spasms—just total convulsions. I've also been suffering from these sudden bouts of panic, where this overwhelming sense of dread just washes over me out of nowhere. My family has noticed that something is clearly wrong. My mother actually decided to stay in the room with me to watch over me; when I walked into the darkened bedroom, I suddenly saw hundreds of tiny, white, flickering sparks dancing before my eyes. As she entered the room wearing a white T-shirt, moving toward the closet, there appeared to be this strange mist hanging in front of and behind her—it looked as though she were frozen in place for about two seconds, even though she was actually walking toward the closet. I blinked, and for a moment, it was as if airplane propellers were spinning right in front of my vision. But again, it passed. Once my mother stayed the night, the fear subsided slightly, yet these panic attacks persist—this sudden, crushing anxiety and nausea. Furthermore, when I see white spots on the wall the next day, they transform into black dots, and when I enter a dark room, white specks appear only to vanish instantly. I should mention that I wear glasses and deal with strabismus. I've read online that this could indicate retinal damage. But more than that, I don't feel like myself anymore—everything feels "off." I haven't had full-blown hallucinations, nor do I feel like I am being watched, but the distress is becoming unbearable; I have found myself thinking about suicide quite frequently. Is there any possibility that I am developing schizophrenia?