Posts by steelsurfer62

Laura Castillo6 said:To me feels like something existing outside the realm of nature, but personally, I view everything through a natural lens. There's no such thing as "supernatural" in my book.

You really need to take those meds that help you feel better while keeping the side effects (like a bad mood) to a minimum. Honestly, obsessing over reading about side effects is like standing on a curb worrying an out-of-control car might hit you—you just shouldn't let those thoughts take over.
I don't quite get how interacting with people could be the thing that kills you. That sounds like a limiting belief you really need to dig up and pull out by the roots; you've got to change how you see yourself and the world. Socializing is actually vital for survival and getting better. As for focus, that can be fixed. For me, I managed to sharpen my concentration significantly by playing chess, taking walks in the park, and staying on top of sleep and nutrition. Fear only fades when you face it head-on—meaning, doing the very things that scare you. If you have your health and your mobility, you're already starting ahead of so many people. Just remember to stay grounded and realize that not every single wish is going to come true.

I don't know about you, but hanging out and dealing with people is super tough for me and just drains my battery. I used to be social all the time before I realized I was actually better off without it. I mean, having a panic attack every single time you're out with people for months on end straight... it's a lot. Plus, walking in nature actually makes me feel worse. It's not that facing fears is the issue, it's just that I spend all this time doing it and it doesn't seem to help. People don't get me, and that's frustrating, because they always look at me like I'm some weirdo.

Anyway, thanks for the support. Luckily, I've got both hands and feet too. 😁

As for the meds, I guess I should try something, because living like this just isn't working. 👎

How are you guys all dealing with this?

I’m honestly just terrified of taking any meds because of the side effects—and everything I’ve been reading online—but mostly I’m scared to even tell my doctor or psychiatrist. I don't want them looking at me like I'm some freak, especially since people around here seem to think schizophrenia means having split personalities or some other nonsense they picked up from movies...

Finding work is already a struggle as it is, but when I actually land something where I have to deal with people, I just run the other way. I know if I stay in those environments, the social interaction will drain me so much that I'll end up back at that dark place again, thinking about suicide.

I'll sit there staring at my computer, trying to get stuff done for work, and five hours will fly by without me even finishing thirty minutes of actual tasks. My focus is basically non-existent. I just want the fear to stop so I can live a normal life. Even if I can't reach all my goals, I just want to live as best as I possibly can with what I've got left.

Thanks y'all