Posts by Anthony Green9

steelskipper9 said:On the surface, I look perfectly fine—but trust me, it is so much harder for me than it is for the average healthy person. I push myself so hard during my shift to make sure nobody notices anything is wrong, but by the time I clock out, I'm absolutely spent. While other people go home to cook dinner, run errands at Target, hang out with their kids, spouses, or friends, and maintain a regular social life every single day—I'm a different story. If I give it my all at work, there is nothing left in the tank; I just collapse and sleep.

I guess I actually envy you. You seem pretty high-functioning despite the schizophrenia. There might be some gender differences too, since being a woman can make this affect you differently than men. Plus, meds work for some and not for others. I definitely get it, though. I can't seem to find the drive to do anything; the lack of motivation is brutal. It's a daily struggle, I suppose.

steelskipper9 said:I used to hide my diagnosis like it was a state secret—honestly, I probably deserved an Oscar for my performance because I didn't have any issues for a long time. But now, I've hit a wall. I've exhausted all my options and have to apply for disability. If the medical board decides I'm unfit for work and sends me back to the agency, I'm honestly lost on who would even hire me with this diagnosis—though I truly believe I could hold down a job if it were low-stress and wasn't physically demanding. The problem is, who's going to offer me that, especially out here in a small town?
Could you tell me a bit more about what you've been through? 🤔

I haven't told anyone at work about my diagnosis. It’s pretty obvious from how I act, though. People are always asking me, "to be or not to be," or if I just didn't get enough sleep. My issue isn't hallucinations or voices; it's just that my cognitive issues are pretty bad. I guess soon I won't even know what 2+2 is. I thought I could manage something easy, but even the simplest tasks feel like trying to master nuclear physics.

Anyone here dealing with schizophrenia? Just wondering what your experiences have been like. I feel like people at my job look at me like an alien or something, and honestly, I've become a bit of a laughingstock. I guess it makes me wonder if it’s even possible to hold down a job while dealing with this.