Posts by Terry Anderson10

Noah Sanchez7 said:Things are better on my end. Still, there’s this lingering uncertainty; honestly, I’m not sure about anything anymore.
When you mentioned wanting to go somewhere with no people, maybe that’s exactly where my own conflict lies.

Should I try to dive back into the world, or just disappear somewhere far, far away?

Here is how I personally interpret your situation:
Nobody alive interests me, everyone irritates me, I have zero desire to fake a smile for anyone, so I stay serious. I don't trust a soul. I feel alone, sad, misunderstood, and convinced that no one can actually grasp what I'm going through:

That is a brutal feeling, I know...

So, I head out of the city into nature—must be nature—completely solo. I go, I walk, I stop thinking. I am where nobody else is, yet somehow, it feels more real. I just want to get away from people, the acting, and all the damn fakery.

I always feel significantly better afterward.

As for what you said... go far away, but do it in your mind. Don't obsess over the physical distance, because damn it, you're still right here for now.
We ALL have to stay engaged with this world. If we check out, we're all screwed. It is what it is. Just DON'T overthink it—which seems to be exactly what you're doing—otherwise, you'll never find your footing.
Try the nature thing. Walk. Exhaust yourself. Be alone (though you aren't truly alone), and STOP thinking. Give your brain a rest, for God's sake. I don't even know how to explain it to you.

What is actually bothering you most? The state of the world? Forget them. All of them. Every single one of us—you, me, every individual—lives strictly for themselves.
Stop carrying the weight of the world. Turn that focus inward instead.

Noah Sanchez7 said:How are you doing? 🙂

Hey, I'm alright.
Honestly, today was just one massive clusterfuck: my boyfriend is playing games, and at work, it’s nothing but constant complaining about me—this isn't right, that isn't working. Just endless whining.
Everything feels so incredibly messed up right now, I can barely wrap my head around it.
I honestly feel like just disappearing to some remote spot where there isn't a soul in sight. Truly.

How about you? Is things looking any better on your end... mentally speaking? 😉

😘

Noah Sanchez7 said:Thank you... 😉

Noah Sanchez7 said:Thanks to you as well.
I trust you. I believe that such a path exists for me too, and right now, I’m searching for it. I'm searching for it obsessively.
To be honest, I see plenty of options ahead of me, but none of them are perfect—just like you said. Every single one comes with its own set of "buts." It’s a real toss-up... either I pick wrong, or they pick wrong.

I'm an optimist, despite what my signature says... (about to go ahead and change that).

From the very start of this thread, I'd say you've completely changed—specifically your perspective.
Glad to hear it...
Because at first, you were cursing and angry at the whole world. Now? Not really...
Whatever. We're here. We have to live here. And we HAVE to wear masks out there. Period.
Sometimes I feel great when I'm all done up and wearing makeup. Other times, I feel so empty (I totally get you) that I'm sick of everyone and everything, yet I still smile... because I have to. It's my job.
Sometimes I genuinely enjoy working with people, giving advice, being helpful.
Other times, I couldn't care less what's best for him or what his options are; I just want him out of my sight.

That's life. Everyone acts. Even Scott Sanders2 (who I think is incredibly mature, rational, and well-read)—he plays the part. He wears the suit because he has to; it's his job. He looks good in it and probably feels great, but I bet even he gets that feeling sometimes... that he's just over it. But hey... better to drive a nice car, wear a sharp suit, and travel the world than to sit at home brooding, complaining, or working a job where you don't even get to dress well. That's what a happy person looks like in this world today!!
Me too... at least I always look good, which beats working somewhere where appearance doesn't matter. But I work, I live, and I'm happy.

How others live isn't our business.
We live where we live. That's just how it is, whether we like it or not. We are stuck with this life, and how it turns out depends entirely on us and our own perceptions...

So be happy. Live the best way you know how to find happiness. Sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not, but I'm working on changing some of my stupid thoughts. For my own sake...

Here I am again. I’m feeling a bit more upbeat today. I see people actually participating and reading the posts here, so I felt compelled—on my own accord, obviously—to jump in and voice my opinion. Naturally, it differs from everyone else's, since this is supposed to be a discussion.

Since I’ve read every single post on this topic—it really grabbed my attention—I’ve formed an opinion I want to share. I’m also calling out anyone else who has been lurking and reading from the very beginning.

Noah Sanchez7
Respect for starting this thread, but mostly respect for speaking up. Honestly, I find it hard to believe that a 21-year-old who openly labels themselves an addict can have such a fully developed perspective.
First thing that hits me: isn't that just the drugs talking?
On the other hand, I completely get what you were saying about those fake people—the ones who groom themselves, dress up, and put on a massive act just to pretend they belong where they are.
I’m just like those people. And just like Scott Sanders2, I deal with it because I live in this world and I have to play by certain social rules just to survive.
I work. I deal with people. You can't work in a corporate office if you don't laugh along, if you aren't dressed properly, or if a woman isn't groomed and wearing makeup.
If I wasn't like that, what would I even do? Where would I work? HOW would I survive??? I have no idea.
As for spiritual life, you're absolutely right there.
But do you honestly think all those people you described don't have a spiritual life? On the other hand, they do; they just keep it to themselves, because at the end of the day, it's nobody else's business.
That's just who I am.

And you want to know what else?
I’m the type of person who, as you put it, will drink until I'm blacked out. Sometimes a person needs that—to just blow off steam. But damn, tomorrow is a new day. You have to live. You have to eat (you didn't mention how you even feed yourself, for that matter), and don't you need money for that???

Look, you made some valid points, but generalizing people isn't going to help you, and it won't help anyone else either.
Who gives a damn about you?
Who gives a damn about whom? It's the exact same thing...

Don't be like that. Don't hold onto that mindset. Believe me, you're only making yourself miserable. At the end of the day, we're living in this world, regardless of what era it is.
And your internal reflections are none of anyone's business but your own.

Noah Sanchez7 said:Get lost, all of you!

You honestly don't get what I'm talking about. I'm saying that nowadays, people care about everything except themselves. Self-care is at the bottom of the list.

Rise, run, rush, stop, fall. There are no questions about why or for what purpose.

All you care about is basic survival. That’s my point. You'll spend your whole lives being chewed up just to put food on the table.
So, what's the point of living? Just to eat? What comes after that?

Is this really what life is? If so, I'm not a fan. Who designed this mess? You did. And that's why I hate you.

Credit to the exceptions, though.

That's why I know how my story ends. I'll be an addict, live another two or three years, and then umrecet. I'm choosing that over that "straight" lifestyle that's nothing but boredom and misery.
And I don't think anyone's going to mourn me, nor do I care. They can talk trash at my funeral for all I care.

One more thing. I'm sick to death of nationalists, racists, and anti-Semites.

I am a Mexican, so shouldn't you hate me?

Only idiots hate you for that. Especially those pampered brats who act tough by clinging to some manufactured grudge against Mexicans.

The truth is, they don't even know a single actual Mexican.

Come on, people (especially you haters), stop attacking the guy. He’s just being realistic.
Maybe he's dealing with some depression or whatever—we all have our moments where we lose it.

And even if he screwed up, you wouldn't be getting this worked up if his post hadn't pulled in the MOST replies today.

Noah Sanchez7, great write-up! Honestly, I'm just fed up with these posers who have nothing going for them besides a fancy car, expensive clothes, and zero brains.