Posts by wanderingraven26

Look, if there’s one absolute truth in this life, it’s that nobody is going to step in and save you unless you decide to help yourself first.
Therapists are there to flag the issues and help you gain some perspective, and they can certainly provide medication, but they can't fix you if you've already given up and decided there's no hope left.

Harold Anderson3 said:I really want to thank everyone for the support lately... but I’m honestly afraid I won't be able to pull myself out of this very easily. Or, if I’m being completely honest, I don't think I can get out at all. I feel like I've dug myself into such a deep hole, and I just can't see any way for things to actually get better. I keep getting more tangled up in my own thoughts, and I can't find the exit. I suspect that's really at the heart of my depression. It feels like when nothing you do ever goes right, it's only logical that you'd eventually lose the will to try anything at all—and that's exactly what depression feels like. Everything feels heavy right now, even just sitting down to write this. I find myself withdrawing more and more, and it feels like my mom is the only person I have left. But she struggles with schizophrenia herself, so she isn't in a position to help me. If I were to do something to myself, it would automatically mean I had done it to her too, because I am truly her entire world.

Besides, it’s not like we'd be losing anything, since we're all just struggling through these miserable lives anyway..

I don't follow you. On one hand, you're asking how to find love, how to snap out of it, and how to escape depression, but on the other, you're undermining yourself with these dark thoughts, claiming there's no light at the end of the tunnel, blah blah.

Man, how old are you even? Just pull yourself together!🙏 👍
Work on yourself, make friends, find love...
Just take a moment to realize how many people in this world have it 500 times harder than you—people who are seriously ill, or those who have lost children or parents... add a single positive thing in their lives to that, and then tell me "you won't make it."

Harold Anderson3 said:I think most of my struggle is actually captured right there in the title, but let me try to unpack things a bit more clearly for you all.
Ever since my parents split up—which was when I was just three—it’s mostly been just me and my dad, with weekends spent at my mom's place. He was always such an emotionally distant guy; honestly, I don't even recall us having actual conversations when I was growing up. Then, when I was six, he remarried, and I ended up spending almost all my time with his new wife, who was even colder and much stricter than he was. Growing up in that kind of environment really took its toll on me, especially since I was such a sensitive kid—probably way too soft for my own good, if I'm being honest.
Now, you might be wondering why I didn't grow up with my mother. Well, she has a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia, and because of that medical reality, the court decided it was best for me to live with my father. Because of that forced, rigid discipline, I actually did pretty well in school, but looking back, what does academic success even matter when you end up feeling like everything is falling apart?
When I turned 17, these mental health struggles started creeping in, eventually spiraling into depression. My doctor and I have talked it through, and we both feel like the root cause traces back to that total lack of affection during my childhood. So, how do I fix this? How do I make up for lost time? I'm only 19, and I feel like I'm already starting from behind.

I don't want to sound like a know-it-all since I've been in a very similar spot. My parents went through a divorce, and my mom was an incredibly cold, strict person; I felt exactly the way you do right now.
I realized the only way out is to really invest in yourself—study, read, work out, travel. That’s how you start building a positive sense of self-worth. As you gain that confidence, you'll find you rely less on antidepressants and realize the issue wasn't you, but rather the adults who failed to give you what you needed to thrive.👍