6 posts shown.
My mom’s got this wound on her abdomen and groin area—doctors are saying it's Non-Hodgkin lymphoma breaking through the surface. Her GP says it needs to be cleaned out because it's getting infected, but the hospital staff there won't touch it. Does anyone know a good private surgeon who could actually handle this? I think a surgeon took care of something similar for her once before.
Thanks in advance for any help
ruggedfox11 said:All I can say is I'm sorry you're going through this. Honestly, check out the cancer forums—they aren't as bleak as you'd think. :-)
You really think this is where the fight ends? 😢
Thanks for the tip on the forum. I’ll definitely sign up and get my questions posted there.
I find myself coming back to this thread constantly. I start typing, then just stop. I can’t find the right words because my head is a complete mess. I don't even know what I'm trying to say or what I should be asking you people... I've been digging through the internet for days on end, and honestly, it's making me sick. I feel this pressure in my head, in my ears—just pure anger and rage. I find myself breaking down in tears all the time.
My mom has been fighting Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma for 13 years now. Her current diagnosis is NHL DLBCL, transformed from follicular.
She has these external nodes in her groin and abdomen that have become infected. She asked the doctor to clean them out today, and they told her they’d work until 1 p.m. to get it handled.
The NHL node is refractory since she’s already gone through two types of chemo that did absolutely nothing. Then she had Endoxan, which managed to stop the nodes from spreading further. Today's results show disease progression. They've bumped her Dexamethasone up to two 4mg tablets as chronic therapy, and she’s taking Sevredol for the intense pain. There’s a consultation next week to decide on a new line of therapy called "mono gem"—I have no clue what that abbreviation means; I can't find anything about it online.
The doctors aren't telling me anything else. I straight-up asked them if Mom is just receiving palliative chemo now, and they wouldn't even give me an answer. I have no idea what's actually happening and I'm losing my mind. I even asked if they've just given up on her. They claim their mission as doctors is to never give up.🙂
Based on what you guys have been through, does anyone know what we should be doing?
Is this really the end?
Otherwise, Mom is doing okay, aside from how much this has mentally crushed her. She’s still trying to live her life—walking, cooking for herself, going out for coffee with us, laughing. She doesn't look like someone who is at the end of her road to me.
I've read that when people reach the end, things get worse—they sleep all day, they lose their appetite. But Mom is eating. Yesterday, she was actually enjoying some ice cream.😁
She has no idea that I cry every single night. I have these nightmares where I see her dying in agony. The biggest issues are the pain in her leg and those wounds; every time she sees them, it just knocks her for six.
I've seen mentions here about Paw Paw ointment, and I've been thinking about ordering some for her.
Can anyone recommend a solid dental office in Washington, D.C. that does teeth whitening using a Zoom lamp?
Honestly, I have no clue when I’ll ever be able to sell this inherited land. Like one guy on here mentioned, the property is stuck in some middle-of-nowhere backwater that nobody actually wants to buy.
Our lawyer totally screwed us over, and we didn't realize it until it was way too late. We've officially cut ties with him.
So, since everyone else has already treated me like a complete idiot, I’m wondering—do I even have the right to complain to anyone? Is this just how it works? The lawyer can say whatever nonsense he wants, the notary can do the same... the bank just does its own thing, and there isn't a single soul or institution out there willing to protect me.
neondriver5 said:I realize I’m directing this at specific people, but I get it—not everyone needs to be an expert on this stuff.
Let’s look at it this way: you should have been told upfront that you had the option to decline the inheritance entirely—meaning both the assets and the liabilities.
Since you went ahead and accepted it, you’ve inherited that debt—or at least half of it, if I'm reading the situation correctly. Your mother would have inherited the other half.
Given the circumstances, you're stuck trying to figure out how to pay off a loan that wasn't even yours to begin with. As a first step, you might want to check if your father had life insurance through his Amex; many credit cards actually include that kind of coverage.
Is there any chance he had another card or perhaps a separate life insurance policy somewhere else?
If that turns up nothing... well, then you have to look at what you actually inherited. Is there any part of that estate that could be sold to cover the debt?
I’ll try to be blunt and keep this brief.
First off, I am beyond frustrated. Every single person I turn to for advice—from my local Chase branch to the notary and even the attorney handling the debt collection—is incredibly condescending. They won't give me a straight answer to save their lives.
My late father had a loan. After he passed, the attorney representing us acted like some "good family friend" and said he’d handle the probate hearing himself so we wouldn't have to deal with it while still grieving. At the hearing, it was decided that my mother and I would each get an equal share. I had no idea I could waive my portion because the lawyer never once mentioned it. Now, there's no going back. I’ve inherited the property along with the debt.
It’s not about the house or the money. I just want some peace of mind.
I called the personal banker at the bank where my father held the loan, hoping she could help me find a solution. My proposal was simple: since I don't have the cash to pay off the loan, I’m offering the inherited property as collateral. She completely ghosted me. No calls, no replies to my emails. Then one day, she finally snaps and tells me she has nothing to do with it and that it's strictly a matter for the law firm now.
A few days later, I called the law firm. Naturally, the attorney wasn't in, so they told me to email her. I sent an email explaining that I want to settle this ASAP and that I’m willing to offer the property (land and timber) to cover the debt. The amount isn't huge—only about $5,000—but for me, it might as well be a million.
The attorney ignored me. I sent another email today begging for guidance on how to proceed so we can avoid a pointless court battle.
Then the attorney calls me back, absolutely livid, asking why I’m even bothering her with these emails and claiming she has nothing to say to me.🤷
Fine. Let her take over the debt collection herself. I tried explaining that I physically cannot afford this because I’m supporting my mother on her Social Security check$0.33 and I can't take on more debt without falling onto food stamps. She basically told me I could stall for two months, but after that, I’d have to start paying. She actually had the nerve to ask how I could think the bank would ever want my property—as if they care.
So, I call a notary to see if there's any way to renounce the inheritance. Of course, the notary is just as rude, talking over me and refusing to let me finish. In the end, I barely managed to find out that it's too late to renounce the assets.
What I need to know is: can the bank garnish my wages?
I keep seeing people on various forums talking about the statute of limitations. How does that work? Who do you even bring that up to?
Honestly, who else can I turn to? I'm at my wit's end. Like I said, I don't care about my father's estate; I didn't gain any wealth, just a massive headache. It feels like everyone is just looking for a way to squeeze money out of me when I'm already struggling to make ends meet.
Please, I need any advice you can give. I'm desperate.