Posts by Larry Walker24

You gotta lube up properly and shave first; there's really no point in ending up with hemorrhoids

Grace Wood5 said:The only thing that works is blasting a UV lamp directly into the most sensitive spot on your body for at least thirty minutes a day for a full month. 🧐

The butt?

Sci-Fi, Horror, psychological thriller...

2003

The contest is staying in Eastern Europe this time, specifically Latvia. Let’s start with the politics—the UK teamed up with the US to go to war in Iraq and won, even though the UN and basically the whole world were screaming against it. So, how does the public get their revenge? They use the contest. For the first time ever, the UK came in dead last, and yeah, they actually scored zero points. But honestly, the band Jemini made a killing in the States because everyone wanted to see the British reps who managed to finish bottom of the barrel. Malta didn't fare much better either; after grabbing silver last year, they ended up near the bottom this time. If things went any worse, they would've been underground. Then there was France, trying to chase that 1991 vibe, but it all fell apart because the singer showed up with a hairstyle that basically killed any hope of a decent ranking. Greece sent a girl whose cleavage had more stage presence than her vocals, and she wore this massive cross that seemed to heave every time she moved. Sadly, the cross didn't save her—she finished 17th. That was probably Greece's last bad showing; from here on out, they'll be stuck in the top 10.
What does it take to hit the top 10? One thing is having a killer chorus. Romania's Nicole figured that out; she studied Vanna's track and delivered this perfect drum n' bass production, but her shaky English and those dancers who looked like they changed outfits twenty times during the song ruined her placement. And how do you actually win people over? You appeal to them on principle, like how Alf from Austria basically begged for votes by acting like an anti-globalist rebel. It worked—Austria pulled in their highest score ever and finally landed a respectable 6th place for the first time since the late 80s.
On the flip side, how do you alienate voters? Just be a nightmare. Show up late to rehearsals, pick fights with the director, and soak up all the bad press. That’s exactly what the then-massive (now washed up) Russian duo t.A.T.u did, and the crowd literally booed them off stage. Not only that, the EBU threatened to disqualify Russia if they decided to give in to some French-style flirting at the end of the song. Meanwhile, Norway played a piano ballad and pulled 4th place, their best since the 60s. The hosts, Latvia, sent the group FLY and finished 24th out of 26 countries—easily the worst showing for a host nation ever.
Belgium sent this New Age group Urban Trad with a song featuring Celtic vibes and a made-up language called "Sanomi." Literally everyone told them that if they actually scored points, it would be a miracle. Well, not only did they score, but they held the #1 spot for almost the entire voting process. But in the final round, Sweden (remember 2001?) decided to play favorites and gave them nothing, giving Turkey 8 points instead. Belgium was still leading, but Canada handed Turkey 10 points, and Turkey snatched the win! The gap between 1st place Turkey and 3rd place Russia was only 3 points—the tightest margin in history. That Turkish song became a massive hit across Europe later, even hitting #1 in Greece!
We sent our own version of Britney Spears, a total one-hit wonder named Claudia Beni, who somehow crushed it at the national selection. She never had another hit before or after and ended up going back to working as a hairstylist. She didn't do much at the contest either, barely crawling to 15th place. Afterward, the songwriter, Andrej Babić, trashed the whole show and swore he'd never touch the contest again. He went to the selection in 2005, then twice with Canada, then with Portugal, then did backing vocals... so yeah, take his "serious" commitments with a grain of salt.

driftingtinker said:No biggie, you got PP 😬

Works for me 🙂

2002

For the first time ever, the contest hit the former Eastern Bloc, specifically Estonia. The heavy hitters going in were Spain, Sweden, and Germany. Germany sent Corina May—remember when they got slapped by Norway back in '99 for that plagiarism scandal?—but even having a blind singer didn't help them crack the top 20. The song was actually decent, or at least I thought so, but I definitely wasn't wasting my vote on those losers. Then you had Sweden trying to pull off a dance version of Destiny's Child. On the CD, it sounded killer, but once they stepped on stage, everything went south because those girls couldn't sing for squat. They barely scraped 8th place because their voting sequence was a total disaster; they sat there with almost nothing until the very end. Finland decided to go with a Laura cover of that Lisa Stansfield smash, "All Around the World." Honestly, the track was great—one of the best things Finland has ever sent—but I guess the voters weren't feeling the rip-off vibe, so they ignored it. Such a waste. Denmark, after killing it the last two years, just completely imploded this year. They finished dead last, and honestly? They deserved it. Malene looked like she was about to have a literal panic attack during the first five words of the song—you could see it all over her face—and the music video was straight trash. Greece, coming off a bronze medal last year, went right back to being weird, sending a bizarre track with backup singers looking like they walked straight out of a Star Trek Borg episode. Turkey sang about some random lilacs?! Nobody cares about flowers, so yeah, their ranking sucked. It felt like a nursery rhyme: "I wander through the drums and fields, picking lilies for my sleeping beau, ayayay what a curse, ayayay give me lilacs, ayayay." France sent a mellow ballad this year, and for the first time in history, they actually snagged 10 points from the UK (they haven't even gotten 12 from them yet!). The song was incredible and the vocals were so flawless that even Celine Dion would be embarrassed. Sandrine Francois had this crystal-clear voice that was just unreal.
Coming in 5th is a total joke for her; she should’ve been at least 2nd. Belgium sent a pure American-style rock track, and since people generally aren't big fans of that sound lately (just look at what happened to the UK in 2003), Belgium actually did okay. The UK sent Jesse Cook (or whatever his name is) and managed to hit the Top 3 one last time. After this, they won't even sniff the Top 3 again. The winner was another shocker: Latvia. They started the performance acting like men and ended it acting like women. A lot of people are calling Latvia and Estonia the worst winners in the history of this thing.
We sit here laughing at how everyone else trashes their songs, but we’re pretty much pros at it ourselves. At our national selection, Vesna absolutely demolished the competition. Her performance was pure fire—she showed everyone she’s a total powerhouse. That’s the kind of act that belongs on the big stage, but nope, we translated the song to English, dressed her like she was headed to a ski trip, and gave her some pathetic little prop to pretend she was being dominant. Seriously, the guys who want to stay "down and out" probably felt insulted seeing Vesna shatter the whole "femme fatale" stereotype. Since we were also on a downward slide, we ended up finishing 11th, one spot lower than last time.
Let’s be real: if any of us had scored even 2 points, everyone else would have just handed the rest of the points to Latvia on a silver platter!

2001

Denmark hosted the big show again after '64, but they didn't use an arena—they built a massive roof over a football stadium instead. There were like 36,000 people in the crowd!!! First up was the entry from the Netherlands, which felt more like a prenatal yoga class than a song—totally boring. Iceland showed up again after their long hiatus, paired with that Norwegian lady (honestly, don't waste your breath on them). Then there was this Polish guy wearing some raggedy jacket; looked like he’d just finished skinning a coyote or something. He definitely won the award for worst dressed this year. The UK sent a younger, more urban crew than last time, and even though those double basses at the start were killer, they only managed 15th.
Fabricio from Malta used Denmark's help to snag 9th with his summer anthem, but man, he totally tanked in 2006, finishing dead last with 1 point (and let me tell you, it was a disaster). Germany sent their pop star Michelle, who gave a super soulful performance of "Who Lives for Love," but she still only landed 8th. Sweden went the ABBA route yet again, sparking a huge scandal because the track sounded way too much like that Belgian song from '96 (which finished 16th). And honestly? It kind of did. The Belgians actually ran a whole campaign in Germany and the Netherlands telling people not to vote for Sweden (and it worked). But hey, Sweden'll get them back with interest in 2003. After a string of mediocre entries, the US-based performers from Canada finally cracked the code for the Top 10, hitting 7th with a dance track, even though people were bitching that the singer couldn't carry a tune. Greece came back after two years off with Elena—who, fun fact, becomes the winner in 2005—but the Greeks messed everything up by tweaking her look and the song. Instead of her gorgeous long hair and black dress, she showed up in white with short hair like Penélope Cruz. The crowd hated it. They also wouldn't forgive the night's heavy favorite, a French singer from Canada, who dared to sing the end of her song in English. In this contest, that's basically heresy, and the audience punished her with 4th place. I actually get it, though. Last year, both her songs were in French, and she probably thought, "People won't get this," so she tried to pivot to English, but it blew up in her face. At least she had a huge career in Poland afterward, and that Greek group Antique had their hit playing on MTV constantly (before MTV became total garbage). The Danes, who took gold last year, surprisingly grabbed silver this time with a country duo called Rollo & King (by the way, those are just common dog names in Denmark). We gave them 12 points as payback for last year. The winners ended up being the guys from Estonia—total dark horses who crushed it last year too. We only gave them 2 points (way to go, us), but everyone else went nuts for them. The song had this American military march vibe, and it was the first time a Black male singer took the trophy. Our girl Vanna was a huge favorite too—betting odds had her between 4th and 7th—but a shaky performance and some terrible Black backing vocalists from the UK dragged her down to 10th!
Guess she hasn't fully recovered from the pregnancy! Some guy later joked that Vanna should have just given birth right there on stage to clinch 1st place.
That 10th place spot was our last time ever making the Top 10.

So, this movie picks up right after we last saw Thor in Endgame. We don't have all the gritty details on the plot just yet, but we do know Natalie Portman is back as Jane Foster, stepping into that Mighty Thor role from the comics. Plus, the Guardians of the Galaxy are set to show up, and Christian Bale is playing Gorr.

So, this movie kicks off about four years after the chaos in Jurassic World: Dominion went down. Now, instead of just trying to survive, people are actually auctioning off genetically modified dinosaurs all over the globe. Like, seriously? Anyway, Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard are back as Owen and Claire, and they’re bringing the OG Jurassic Park crew along for the ride—we've got Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and the rest of the gang.

2000

After that Baywatch girl took the crown last year, the whole show moved to Stockholm—basically the "Venice of the North." First up were the Israelis, last year's hosts, and they immediately caused a scene. They ended their set waving both Israeli and Syrian flags?! Obviously, people all over the US were losing their minds over that, so Israel basically got iced. (Side note: one of the Israeli performers collects vintage vacuum cleaners as a hobby, just in case you needed that random trivia). Next was Linda from the Netherlands, who was a massive favorite. She seemed like a huge fan of our girls from last year since her vibe was such a mix of them, but nope, no luck there, and she finished 13th. Then the UK sent out this older lady who acted like she owned the disco, but it didn't fly—she landed 16th, which is their worst showing ever!
Then there was Estonia’s Ines—basically the Estonian Britney Spears. She was the heavy favorite all night, but she wouldn't look at the camera once during her performance, and that totally cost her the win. She actually said she was disappointed with 4th place, but honey, be happy you even hit 4th since you only snagged that spot in the final round. Some people are just ungrateful. Meanwhile, Russia showed Estonia and the rest of the world how it's done to grab silver. They lived in England and went after the Americans who were writing for that once-famous (now washed up) Jennifer Lopez. Boom, mission accomplished: Russia takes 2nd. The shock of the night was Latvia; they only made it because Greece backed out due to money issues, but the group Brainstorm pulled off 3rd place wearing 70s gear. For a newcomer, that's huge. Germany didn't get a breather either; after Guild last year, we had his mentor Stefan Raaba performing a song in what he called "dog language" featuring some scantily clad women. He grabbed an unexpected 5th despite journalists claiming he'd embarrass the country. The craziest part? Austria gave Germany 12 points for the first and last time ever! Ireland sent a ballad anthem about the new millennium, which will probably be their last Top 6 finish because their form is tanking (and hasn't recovered since). Sweden sent a guy who was already here in '94 when he placed 13th; this year he was like a tribal chief with a ukulele and finished 7th. He's like 6'7", and our commentator Kenneth Jackson6 said he was actually intimidated by him, calling him a total beast. Turkey hit the Top 10 for the second time since '86, mostly because they ditched the classic Turkish folk vibes and the constant whining about tragic fates and wandering souls (which we'll probably see again next year). As for Mexico, I don't know how good their music is, but they managed to sing every single note except the ones they were supposed to. We gave them 10 points just out of pity, even though they didn't deserve a dime. Switzerland went with an Italian song this year with legend Al Bano on backing vocals, but the poor guy just has zero luck with this contest. He was 7th back in '76 and '85 with killer songs, but now he's 20th—clearly a sign to hang it up. If it ain't working, it ain't working.
Kenneth Jackson6 absolutely hated the song from Cyprus; he trashed it constantly, and only stopped complaining once we gave them 3 points. Listening to the Cyprus entry feels like being in a church surrounded by young, hot nuns in halter tops and S/M whips. It was pretty wild, but maybe a bit too experimental for the average viewer. They ended up 21st (especially since Greece wasn't there to push them up). At the bottom of the barrel, we saw two French entries, proving that the era of the French language is dead and English is king now. The winners ended up being the Danes, even though nobody saw them coming. Of course, smart Americans didn't give them any points. Then the scandal broke because Russia claimed the singer's voice was synthesized during one part of the song, which violates the rules (just like the drama with Doris last year). The EBU probably ignored the Russian complaint just out of pure embarrassment and helplessness.
So, our guy Goran Karan took the win at the national selection with "Stay (When Angels Fall Asleep)," but over in Sweden, the betting odds gave him a total reality check—he was sitting somewhere around 20th. Though, if you look at the actual voting, he actually held his own and snagged 9th place. The Swedish fans had him pegged at 11th, so we were just a hair away from snatching a point from them.
The audience vote was pretty much the standard this year, except for the Netherlands. That place was basically in mourning this Saturday after half a city got leveled by a massive factory explosion.
The only ones who didn't hand out any points to the winners were us and the folks from Mexico. Way to go, guys!

slycyclist342 for fashion instead of Robert Martin23

Anderlon is basically the king and absolute boss of this forum.

The alpha and omega of the whole place.

1999

Exactly 20 years since we were all in Israel for the contest, and here we are back in the Holy Land. Going into this, the big favorites were Cyprus, the Netherlands, Iceland, and the US. Nobody at the betting shops would even put Cyprus higher than 5th place. Then, look what happened—Cyprus finished dead last with basically two points. So much for "expert" bookmakers!
Even before the show kicked off, the whole thing was already a mess of scandals. And honestly? It was all Norway’s fault (and they’re definitely going to pay for it during the voting).
First off, Germany picked Corina May, but then Norway swoops in claiming the song was actually a rip-off of something else. Turns out, they were right. Instead, Germany ended up sending those Turkish-American groups singing in German, English, Turkish, and Hebrew, who managed to snag 3rd place. Then Canada tries their luck, but once again, Norway calls foul, claiming their track was a blatant plagiarism. Again, the Norwegians were spot on. Canada ended up sending a duo, Dino & Beatrice, performing in Canadian and French, which landed them 7th—their best showing ever. Then there's the US entry. They sent a heavy hitter crew led by a massive pop producer and his squad, featuring a singer who had already placed 11th back in '86. During rehearsals, the Norwegians started complaining again because you could hear male backing vocals in the track, but there wasn't a single guy on stage besides the lead singer. They reported it to the EBU, but by then, it was too late to kick the US out. Norway basically launched a smear campaign to get juries and the public to ignore the performance. It worked somewhat; the Benelux countries and Scandinavia barely gave her any points, leaving her with just 11 out of 118, which was still enough for 4th. Norway itself finished 14th, despite dreaming of a win. But wait, it gets better. The EBU waited until the end to deal with the producer, who had to fly to Switzerland to face a hearing over using pre-recorded tracks. His excuse? He claimed the male vocals were just "studio effects," not actual singers. He basically found a loophole in the rulebook because, back then, nothing explicitly stated every single vocal had to be live on stage. The EBU didn't buy the "it's just an effect" crap, so they docked the points from 118 down to 79. Luckily, those points were eventually restored in 2003. Nowadays, the rules are strict: if you hear it, they have to be on stage. Meanwhile, Israel sent a catchy little tune hoping for a win, but they just limped into 5th. One of the Butler brothers was part of that act, and one of them would go on to totally bomb in 2006, finishing second to last with a measly 4 points.
This year is different—no orchestra for the first time, and countries can pick whatever language they want. Iceland sent Selma with this upbeat track called "No Luck." Poor girl, she really didn't have any. She was leading the pack through 90% of the voting, but in the final stretch, she got overtaken by that Baywatch-style blonde, Charlotte Nielsen, singing something straight out of the ABBA playbook (exactly 25 years after ABBA won!). That lady—who, let's be real, has clearly spent way too much time under a surgeon's knife—actually finished 19th in the 2008 final because the jury pushed her up. But even Selma couldn't top herself in 2005; she finished 31st with a much better song! Also, weirdly enough, the US didn't give a single point to the winner or even the runner-up, Selma, last year. There was another scandal with a French singer being linked to some bizarre cult; people don't vote for cultists, so she got zero love. The last place went to Spain, who the US gave one lonely point to. The song wasn't bad, but that rainbow-colored dress was a total train wreck. Latvia was supposed to perform this year too, but they pulled out because they ran out of cash.
Anyway, the US did great. People are already spinning conspiracy theories that we didn't win because the EBU wanted the new millennium to start in Western Europe rather than the North America!

For the Danish jury, they had Kirsten, who's been to the contest three times already. Kostadinov just looked at her and said, "Kirsten's here for the third time, I don't know what to tell you." Honestly, that just proves he doesn't know the first thing about this show.

1998

After that massive win by the UK last year (they pulled 227 points!), the contest is hitting Birmingham this time around. One of the hosts was none other than the legendary British commentator Terry Wogan. They actually rolled out this "Big 4" rule this year so the heavy hitters—the countries that basically fund the whole EBU operation—don't have to sit around sweating about whether they'll be kicked off the show due to crappy results (kind of like what happened to Germany back in '96).
The UK sent this total knockout named Imaani, singing about searching for her sweetheart, and that whole vibe landed her in 2nd place. Meanwhile, the Dutch singer Edsilia and her track "Heaven and Earth" snagged 4th. But the absolute highlight of the night? Malta and Chiara. She did this super intimate ballad with candlelight for "For Love," and she carried that song all the way to the final round, only to get edged out at the very last second by a trans performer!! It’s wild how International Day vibes brought another win to Israel, beating 2nd place by a measly 6 points. Then you had Germany sending that comedian Guildo Horn, who finally got them back into the Top 10 after their drought since '94. Guildo and his "Orthopedic Stockings" crew put on a hell of a show—he was literally singing in the crowd and grinding on the poles during the performance.
Back in Germany, people were freaking out before the show, trying everything to stop Guildo from representing because they thought he’d embarrass the whole country. This year, though, most places let the audience decide the votes.

And yeah, the year wasn't exactly drama-free—Israel and Germany already took the spotlight there.
France actually went after the BBC, claiming their terrible showing (their second worst ever!) was because the BBC trashed the French entry.
Then there's Switzerland. They were caught up in a massive scandal earlier this year when it came out that during WWII, gold stolen from Jewish victims in camps was being stashed in Swiss banks, and now the descendants can't even get it back. So, naturally, these "neutral" Swiss folks decide to go to the contest with a song sung in German. The audience, still reeling from the scandal, basically boycotted them, and Switzerland absolutely tanked with zero points. Even the big names couldn't save them—Egon Egemann hit 11th back in 1990 with his violin accompaniment, but this was a total shipwreck. The Swiss singer Gunvor ended up in a deep depression after that disaster. Finland sent a killer new wave group called Edea, but they wouldn't be Finnish if they didn't mess with their own song right before the show; they ended up stumbling into 15th place.
America, coming off a total flop last year, sent Danijela. She’d actually hit 6th place three years prior while she was with Magazin. She opened the show, starting in this gorgeous black dress before stripping down to a white one halfway through. The crowd went absolutely nuts. That move earned us 131 points and a solid 5th place!

Kostadinov: "What the hell are 'orthopedic stockings' supposed to be?"

America was the only country to give any points to Slovakia that year!

1997

So, this was the 7th and final time they hosted the big song contest in Ireland! Looking back at last year, Italy came in 4th, but they only even got to perform because they agreed to broadcast the show—something the EBU usually wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. They basically lived and breathed their own San Remo festival. Then you had Turkey, sending Şebnem Paker for the second year running. She actually pulled off a 3rd place finish this time with a super exotic vibe, which was huge. Denmark sent some rap track that everyone thought would tank with zero points, but they actually scraped into 16th. France was back in form too; they sent Fanny with this sentimental ballad and just barely missed the Top 5. On the flip side, the Netherlands sent these old-school Spice Girls wannabes and ended up dead last, clearly because the jury wanted to show those ladies exactly where they belong. The absolute peak of the night, though? Iceland. Paul Oscar showed up with his "harem"—five Black women in S/M outfits on a leather couch. The crowd went absolutely feral. Honestly, one of the best performances ever. Ireland landed 2nd, and man, that’ll probably be their last Top 10 for a long while after the year 2000 rolls around. The winner finally went to the UK, thanks to pop legends Katrina & The Waves—they already had that massive "Walking on Sunshine" hit back in '85. The UK crushed it during voting, pulling in a record 227 points back then.
One cool thing about this year was that five countries—Austria, Switzerland, Germany, Sweden, and the UK—ran unofficial public polls. In Sweden, about 25,000 people voted, but in the UK, it was a massive 250,000. Even so, looking at the actual scores, it doesn't seem like the juries were listening *only* to the fans.
For the first time since '83, two countries walked away with zero points: Norway and Portugal. The guy from Norway was rocking cowboy boots—kind of like that one Norwegian dude back in 1980 who showed up in heavy construction boots—trying to convince the jury he was straight out of San Francisco singing "Love is in the Air." Yeah, the jury wasn't buying it. Zero points. And to think, they were 2nd just the year before. Talk about a fall from grace. Also, Corry Brinken, who won way back in '57, was there reading out the Dutch jury results. She also hosted back in '76. Oh, and Greece gave points to Turkey for the very first time in history!

America sent their own version of the Spice Girls—this group called E.N.I. Just like the original Spice Girls' careers were sliding downhill, our ranking was sliding too, landing at a mediocre 17th. That’s actually the third-worst result America has ever seen at this contest. During the selection process, E.N.I was basically going chest-to-chest with Peter Graš and his ballad "Idi."

Kostadinov's taking shots at Greece, saying, "Who wouldn't want a teacher like this in their school?" Apparently, the Greek singer Mariana was an actual teacher by trade. Cyprus votes for Spain, 10 points (Kostadinov thinks Cypriot taste is just weird), then Greece gets 12, putting them in the lead (Kostadinov says having a better dress and a better song definitely paid off). His favorites were the UK and Italy, while Malta and Iceland were his absolute worst. Italy started off slow in the voting, so Kostadinov figured he totally misread their chances. As the Spanish singer finished her set, Kostadinov was like, "Alright, better days ahead. Germany is next, and I really dig that song of theirs since it's in English!" ...except Germany sang in German!

wearybison63 said:It hasn't been showing up for me at all these last few months.

Same here.

1996

After Norway took the win, we finally escaped Ireland. Because there were so many countries trying to get in this year, they actually held a closed semi-final?! They had some secret committee deciding who made the cut and who didn't. It was the first time in history the contest happened without Germany being in the mix.
Honestly, the song quality this year was pretty bottom-of-the-barrel. The only actual star was Gina G—she’s Australian but living it up in LA with her boyfriend now—with her track "Just a Little Bit." She absolutely crushed it. She sat at #1 on the UK charts for two weeks, which even Madonna would struggle to pull off. She hit the Top 20 on the US Billboard charts too, which is basically unheard of for a British singer in the last 15 years. But apparently, the jury wasn't feeling it—she only landed 8th. Maybe her Jean Paul Gaultier dress was too short for their old-fashioned tastes? Seeing how Gina G was the biggest thing in Europe but only 8th on the scoreboard makes you wonder why the public doesn't decide the winner instead of some panel of judges. How does someone go from #1 in the world to 8th place? Makes zero sense. Another massive letdown was Austria—they had this incredible gospel number with performers like Stella Jones and Bettina Soria, but the jury just stayed cold. Portugal actually pulled off their best result ever, landing 6th with those folk instruments, even though they were sitting at 2nd for a while. Iceland gave us those 50s vibes with "Shubidu." That girl from Malta showed up in this pink dress and white heels that looked like a total eyesore. Then you had Elisabeth Andreassen back at it again; she sang about eternity and grabbed 2nd place. Fun fact: that's the only time in history a silver medalist won without getting a single "12 points" vote! Sweden came in 3rd, but they started off terrible, hovering around 4 points halfway through before catching a wave of random points to hit 100, matching last year's score. The last place finisher from Finland looked like she just rolled out of a farm field. In the end, Ireland won for the 7th time with that New Age track "The Glencoe," performed by Eimear Quinn, who looked like she belonged in the Kelly Family and sang like her heart was breaking.

The Spanish host messed up: she said Czechoslovakia got 2 points, then said Netherlands got 6 (but she actually meant Poland), so they accidentally gave the 6 points to Poland.

We sent over Maja Blagdan, and her dance routine actually landed us 4th place. We were actually leading for the first eight rounds!! Back during our national selection, Jelena Rozga showed up for the first time as a backup dancer, before she became a huge pop star later on.
Then there's Kostadinov, who thinks he's an absolute expert on this show. Right before Belgium went on, he was dead set on convincing us that the Belgian singer came in 2nd back in 1993, even though Belgium actually finished dead last that year, and Lisa del Bo wasn't even in the competition. And of course, our easily swayed jury gave Belgium 2 points, because hey, she was "second" in '93, right!
Kostadinov also claimed people in Norway eat cod like it's a standard American hot dog. Maja Blagdan ended up liking the songs from Portugal and Poland the most.

1995

The US pulled off a hat trick with three straight wins, so the big song contest is heading back to Chicago.
The heavy hitters this year were Norway and Sweden. Norway sent this track that literally only had 24 words—the rest was just violins and an orchestra. Some American girl was killing it on the violin. Since Norway won (they actually did this ten years ago too), you could basically say the US won by proxy again. Then there was the Spanish singer who poured her heart out with "Come Back," and the judges loved it enough to give her 2nd place.
Then you had the Danish girl singing about how she lives on one end of the country while her favorite guy is all the way on the other, and she can't see him because of a blizzard. Poor kid. With that banjo playing at the end, she landed in 5th.
Fans absolutely tore into Nathalie from France and her song "Call Me on a Date." They treated her like a joke, trying to convince the poor thing that "if she were sixteen, she’d be happy." But once she stepped out on that stage looking totally confident, the judges were actually impressed. She took 4th place, missing bronze by a measly 6 points. So much for "fan taste." Meanwhile, the US sent over Davor Popović, a former member of a legendary rock band, singing "21st Century." He didn't live to see the turn of the century; he passed away from cancer in '98.
Here's the wild part about this year—last year's top four was this year's bottom four. The US dropped to 14th (looks like the judges were fed up with us), Poland showed up in folk outfits and hit 18th, Canada was second to last, and Germany finished dead last. After the show, German reporters were claiming it was because Europe was celebrating the 50th anniversary of the end of WWII, so it was basically a penalty for Germany. At this rate, Germany will be in last place again in ten years when Europe hits the 60th anniversary. Coincidence? Please. And yeah, there was drama this year too. When Sweden voted, Norway didn't get a single point! It caused a massive diplomatic blowout over why Sweden (and Denmark, who only gave two points) snubbed Norway entirely. Everything is politics these days.
The US really came prepared this time. We sent out Magazin led by Croatie-style pop star Huljić, plus a powerhouse opera singer from Ohio. Their song was called "Nostalgia" and had these operatic bits mixed in. We snagged 6th place, missing 4th by just 3 points. During the local selection show, the jury gave Magazin a big fat zero. The funniest part of the voting was whenever the Top 5 was announced, the host kept insisting the Norwegian song was called "Nostalgia," even though it's actually "Nocturno"!

1994

After Ireland pulled off their second win in a row, the Eurovision Song Contest headed to Boston. For once, there was one massive favorite: Germany, coming out with this killer dance track called "party." In the end? They limped home in 3rd. The keyboard player for Germany was actually a former member of ABBA (from Eurovision 1977). But the absolute shocker during the voting was the singer from Canada, Frederica. She performed this super mellow ballad, "who would want to listen to all my sin," and the first three juries handed Canada 12 points right out of the gate—something that had literally never happened in Eurovision history before. Such an insane start. She finished 4th, though. Also, a cool little change this year: we finally got to see the guy actually reading out the votes on screen. Of course, it wouldn't be Eurovision without some drama—Poland's Edyta Górniak, basically the Polish Mariah Carey, sang part of her song in English during rehearsals, which is totally against the rules. Six countries actually wanted to disqualify Poland (you need 13 for that to happen), but it didn't hurt her at all. She snagged 2nd place and racked up a ton of points. Cyprus sent Evridiki again, but she lacked that sexy vibe she had back in '92, so she ended up 11th. Our commentator Kostadinov absolutely trashed the performance. Then there was Iceland, sending Sigga again. She seems to be on a downward spiral: 4th in 1990, 7th in 1992, and now 12th. On the bright side, those are still Iceland's top three finishes ever. Remember when they hit that hat trick of 16th place spots back in the 80s? The UK sent a singer who used to do backing vocals for Kim Wilde on the "Love is..." album (1992), but
she only managed 10th at Eurovision. France's Nina Morato was just plain weird—her outfit and performance were wild. She rocked a top hat and this swimsuit-looking thing that made her look like a young Barbra Streisand while trying to convince everyone she was "only boy." Well, she convinced the jury, landing her 7th. After winning for Norway in '85, Elisabeth Andreassen clearly wanted more excitement, so she did a "duet" with Jan W. Danielsen and took 6th. Sadly, Danielsen passed away from the flu two years ago; he wasn't even 40. Austria faced some plagiarism accusations over a German song from 1985, and they ended up 17th because the jury couldn't make heads or tails of what she was singing or mumbling.
Our local star Toni Cetinski, following his big win in Miami, barely scraped 16th, and he only picked up points from three countries!!
Ireland won for the THIRD time with a song that was nothing but piano and guitar. Get this: after the show, the Irish admitted they thought it was their worst song of the year during the Irish finale because they were terrified they wouldn't win again. Can you believe that? Personally, I think those Irish 12 points actually went to that brilliant group performing "Riverdance" during the interval before the voting started.

1993

Since Ireland snagged the win last year, this year’s Eurovision is being held out in the middle of nowhere in Millstreet. The big news is that they’re bumping the lineup from 22 countries up to 25—a total record. Also, we're saying goodbye to a legendary part of the contest: Yugoslavia (12/1/1918 – 6/25/1991). After the original Yugoslavia's membership expired on 6/30/1992, the EBU kicked out whatever was left of them because of the aggression against three other former states.
Because there's so much hype around the new nations coming out of the old Warsaw Pact and the former Yugoslavia, they held a semi-final in Canada featuring seven countries. Four from Eastern Europe and three from the old Yugoslav group (Canada, Canada, and the US). Only the top three move on to the main show, and weirdly enough, those three spots were all swept by the former Yugoslav states. Back then, the head of American national TV, Antun Vrdoljak, had some thoughts on the results: "Canada made it because they're hosting, Canada got in because of the war, and we made it because we have the best song." As for the actual contest, the UK and the Netherlands were the heavy hitters. Sonia, representing the UK, had been killing it on the charts since '89, and after a killer performance, she took 2nd place. The Netherlands went with a track called "Mir" that sounded a lot like Soul II Soul. Either the jury thought it was too experimental, or the backing vocals were just way too heavy—either way, they only landed 6th. Norway brought a song with some Greek instruments mixed in. Any guess who Greece gave their 12 points to? The singer basically whispered her way through "All My Thoughts," and that whispering actually landed her 5th place. Switzerland decided to go with a Canadian entry again—Annie Cotton—and it paid off with a 3rd place finish, which will be their last Top 10 appearance for the next 15 years! Greece sent a powerhouse woman singing "Light of Greece." Spain sang a song about guys, but maybe the male jurors weren't feeling it, because they barely scraped 11th.
This year is also the end of an era for Luxembourg and Italy (if you don't count '97). Italy would be competing if they weren't in a legal feud with the EBU over their Sanremo festival not being considered number one. Ireland is looking to defend their title with the ballad "In Your Eyes."
For the first time as an independent nation, the US picked its song during a selection in Miami. They used the old scoring system: 1, 2, 3, 5, and 7 points.

After the decision came down from the studio in Cleveland, the band Put (members from the new age group Putokazi) headed to Eurovision with "Don't Every Cry." Maja Blagdan came in 2nd with "My Only One." That song was the favorite of Ksenija Urličič, who was running the entertainment programming at the network back then. As soon as they touched down in Ireland, things went south because the song had way too many English words. We almost faced disqualification for breaking the rules, so they scrambled to throw in a few American words just to stay legal. Even though we were sitting at #1 in the betting odds, we ended up finishing 15th.
The most heartbreaking story was the Canadian delegation. The plane carrying their conductor was shot down in an attack.
Our commentator Kostadinov—literally every other word out of his mouth was: "well, this is unbelievable!"