Posts by Matthew Gomez2

Hi everyone,
I spent some time debating where to post this, but I eventually realized that this space is really more about my own headspace. I’m looking to hear from people who might actually grasp the nuances of my situation better than the average person—if that doesn't sound a bit blunt,

The issue is,
My current job offers me small windows of time to work on personal projects—sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on how the day unfolds. It’s one of those roles where hierarchy is everything and duties are assigned based strictly on whatever needs arise at the moment (think military or police structures). I’ve come to realize this just isn't my path. The challenges have dried up, and I’ve developed this deep sense of resentment toward the work because I know I’m capable of much more. It feels suffocating, especially being surrounded by people who seem perfectly content staying exactly where they are.

The potential fix,
About six months ago, I started teaching myself how to code. I’ve found that I can lose myself in programming for hours at a time, though finding the actual time is a struggle. My primary job drains my mental battery before I even get a chance to start, and trying to juggle a heavy workload, daily training sessions, coding, learning other skills to stay sharp, and maintaining a relationship... it’s a lot. My plan is to leave this job entirely and live off my savings for a while. I want to give myself the breathing room to dive deep into software development and shed this weight I carry every single day. A few months ago, something just clicked; I looked around and realized I was settling, and frankly, the lack of intellectual stimulation from my superiors and peers is starting to feel insulting.

The advice and perspective I’m looking for is simple: is walking away a smart move? No one can guarantee that a career in tech is the right fit for me. I haven't reached the point where I know how I'll handle high-stakes professional environments, and the sheer uncertainty of being unemployed, combined with everything else going on in the world right now, makes the idea pretty daunting. Staying here is becoming impossible; it’s getting harder to focus when my energy is constantly being scattered by things that feel increasingly trivial.
If I take this leap, I’d have to slash my spending significantly. I could manage it, but I’d essentially be putting myself under a sort of self-imposed lockdown for a few months until I land something. Being an introvert, the isolation itself wouldn't bother me, but the mental toll and the inevitable criticism from my parents weigh on me. They don't quite get it. Even if I try to tune out what others think, they were the ones who instilled certain insecurities in me during my childhood, and those old triggers are still very easy to pull.
What should I do?

P.S. The parents aren't the core issue; it’s more about the broader context. Growing up, the narrative was always that you find a "good" job and you stick with it, settle down, and blah, blah, blah. No one ever mentioned searching for something that actually fits your individual nature. I don't know if programming is my ultimate dream job—it probably isn't—but it provides everything this current role lacks.

hiddeneagle98 said:But let's get real for a second: is there a high school nearby? A community college? Any music programs or maybe a local gym with a volleyball court or a proper basketball hoop? Is there even enough kids around to actually play a game of hoops? What about a swimming pool? How far away are all those things? And more importantly, what is there for young people to actually do? Where do they hang out? Are there even enough kids around, or are they all looking for an exit strategy to get to a bigger city? How far is the nearest hospital, a pharmacy, or a clinic? What’s the public transit situation like, and how much of a drive is it to reach the nearest major city, a mall, a movie theater, or a performing arts center? Look, you don't need to give me a formal answer to all this—it's not like I'm the one making the call here—but just sit down with your partner and really weigh these things against each other.

Don't take this the wrong way; I'm just trying to help you look a bit further down the road, considering kids and seeing if this lifestyle fits your long-term vision. Whatever you decide, it's fine by me. I'm not saying that uprooting your entire life to move to the countryside is inherently the wrong move; in fact, it might be a total lifesaver. Staying where you are might have ended up wrecking your health, but that's something only you will figure out once the dust settles.

I totally get that sometimes you don't have much of a choice in the matter. You're dealing with the hand you were dealt, and if you don't have a massive bank account to pull from, it often feels like it's either this specific path or dealing with a bunch of toxic people. But still, I'm telling you: just look at the big picture.

As you mentioned, I don't have to reply, but I'll try to touch on a few points because I actually appreciate seeing someone broaden my perspective on the whole situation.

There isn't much in the way of the specific amenities you listed because those are concentrated in one city, not in a small town. I grew up in an area where there were always plenty of kids around, and it was never a problem for me. Honestly, it was better than growing up in the city; kids out here get to enjoy nature and freedom without being constantly influenced by older crowds heading down the wrong path.

Basically, the location you described offers the chance to stay close to the city while remaining in a quiet spot, which is great, but a luxury like that would probably cost me $100,000 instead of $30,000. Land is incredibly expensive, and when you factor in construction, permits, and everything else involved in building an estate in Canada—not the US, since I was born in Canada but work in America—it adds up. My main goal is to head back to the rural area where I grew up, mostly because I already have property there and the costs are much lower. If I had more money, I’d certainly aim for more ideal conditions, but even with my current budget, one option is 7.5 miles, another is 16 miles, and the largest city, 25 miles, isn't too far away, which is perfectly fine.

hiddeneagle98 said:I feel like I’ve touched on this before. My whole philosophy is that whatever you’re planning shouldn't be fueled primarily by a desire to run away from something; it should be driven by an intense love for something else. You shouldn't just be fleeing—whether it's escaping obnoxious people or just general chaos—you should be rushing toward something so compelling that you can't help but surrender to it. Sure, avoiding idiots might be a nice little side effect, but running away doesn't actually give you a sense of direction or a destination. Just retreating from things isn't fulfilling in itself, and if you don't find that core purpose, you'll eventually find yourself wanting to run away from your new life too.

Secondly, look, young people can live off the grid or out in the middle of nowhere for a while and call it an adventure, but once you have kids, that lifestyle starts hitting real friction. As those kids grow up, the problems get bigger, and by the time you're getting older, the lack of infrastructure becomes a massive headache.

On top of that, you mentioned that farming isn't really your main priority. If you're planning to just code from home, you could easily do that from somewhere much more civilized—somewhere where your kids actually have access to decent schools, social circles, and the kind of opportunities they need to thrive.

I agree, I never actually intended to live in total isolation. The small town where I grew up is a settled community with a school, grocery stores, neighbors, and all the basic necessities a place needs, but it also offers that specific peace you just don't find in a major city, which is exactly what I'm aiming for.

cosmicwalker21 said:I caught that part. You aren't wrong, but you need to prepare properly. Fix up the house where you plan to live first—focus on the roof and the windows. Check the electrical work. Get yourself a chainsaw, a lawnmower, a tractor, and a trailer. Move out to the countryside, but don't just dive in blindly. Don't rely solely on farming, either. Make sure you have a vehicle. Also, learn a trade so you can pick up odd jobs around town. Painting, tiling, plumbing... You won't be working constantly, but believe me, when things get tight, you will need some liquid cash.

I appreciate the advice; as I mentioned in my intro, I'm currently teaching myself how to code.

cosmicwalker21 said:Ryan Wilson2, do you actually plan on having electricity and running water at the property, or a reliable way to fund a vehicle? I know several people who tried to move out to remote rural plots they inherited from their grandparents—places their parents fled from in the first place—thinking they could just live off the Earth and hard labor. It turned into a nightmare. They had their power cut off; they were literally starving. And if you have a child, not having a steady income could be fatal; you might even lose them to Child Protective Services. As a starting point, I suggest you try cutting twenty cords of wood for the winter yourself. That will be your first real indicator of whether you're cut out for this. Heating has become the single largest expense in modern life.

I don't think you really caught the essence of what I was saying, but I won't go in circles here; I grew up in rural America, so there isn't much about this lifestyle that feels foreign to me.

Terry Martinez10 said:I get it,
Take me, for instance; I work remotely and people love to label me a "digital nomad," but I can tell you firsthand that it isn't quite the absolute freedom people imagine it to be. Whatever line of work you choose, there is always going to be a partner, a customer, or a client on the other side, and if you want to keep that relationship alive, you inevitably have to compromise and give up a certain amount of your own autonomy.

I actually had that realization just yesterday, though if I'm weighing remote work against the traditional office grind, working from home still takes the win:

- There's no soul-crushing commute, I don't have to deal with annoying coworkers every single day, I have my own comfortable space to focus, I don't stress about what to wear, and in my specific situation, being at home is much better than living in a cramped rental.

Anyway, what do you guys do? If you can't say here, feel free to shoot me a DM. I'm currently hunting for more remote work ideas while teaching myself how to code, but man, it feels like a very long road ahead.

Linda Wood96 said:I guess the biggest issue with this whole "isolated paradise" fantasy is the kids. And from what I can tell, you’re actually planning on having them—which, man, good luck with that. Once they hit public school and face the real world, they’re gonna see what everyone else has. If you aren't providing everything their classmates have, they’ll probably just shut down at first—then eventually, they might even turn on you. To avoid that total meltdown, reality's gonna hit you hard, and you'll end up grinding through every job you can find just to keep them from feeling left out. There's that old saying about how you only truly grow up once you stop putting yourself first—usually happens the second you have kids. Though, I suppose there are those rare types who prioritize others regardless of blood—like doctors or whatever.
And maybe you’re sitting there thinking—how am I even supposed to explain to my kids that life isn't all about rocking Nike sneakers or designer sweats? Like, they can look totally fine in some cheap stuff from Target, but they’re still gonna feel left out—I guess. It'll be because they missed that one big trip, or you didn't shell out for those fancy private language tutors, or they aren't playing any sports, or they missed out on summer vacation... or hell, even just not having enough for an ice cream. There's always gonna be something—it's just how it is—and you'll end up feeling like you failed them, or at least like you aren't doing as much as everyone else.

It’s easy for those high-and-mighty types—popes, bishops, even the Dalai Lama—to spout all that deep philosophy, I guess... but once you've actually got kids to look after? Reality hits you like a freight train—and then you finally get what life is actually about, you know? What it means to live—and how fast it all slips away.

I hadn't really looked at things from that angle before, so I truly appreciate the sentiment behind that message—thank you. I’m still figuring out the exact roadmap, but my plan is to dive into software engineering and eventually build a business alongside my girlfriend; we both intend to live as minimally as possible. For us, money won't ever be an issue, but we don't want to treat it like some sacred object; to us, it’s more of a tool or even a bit of an illusion. My thought is to provide my kids with everything they might need, and then later on, have those deeper conversations with them about what it all actually means. Growing up, things were pretty tough for me—we struggled financially, and there was a real lack of communication with my parents. For a long time, that felt incredibly unfair and painful, and while I've reached a point where I can look back and accept it as part of my journey, the sting of it hasn't entirely disappeared. I don't want my children to go through that same kind of hardship, but more importantly, I want to make sure they have the open dialogue that I missed out on. To me, that connection is just as vital as anything else.

Dennis Bennett28 said:I honestly feel like I’ve just walked straight into a total mess—it’s been one thing after another!

Look, at the end of the day, you should work however you see fit. Generally speaking, the less you have to deal with people, the happier you’ll be—there's just less friction that way. But, if you’re someone who has a history of making impulsive calls and then spending half your life regretting them, well... let's just say the universe is definitely playing a bit of a prank on you.

Everything we choose might end up being wrong, but in the heat of the moment, it usually doesn't feel that way. I might have walked straight into a trap myself, but at the end of the day, I'm ready to own my mistakes. What matters is that I refuse to walk down paths where I already know how the story ends; this is supposed to be an unpredictable journey, full of unexpected turns.

Morgan Hall4 said:Is she on the same page as you about all this?

Pretty much, yeah. I’ve got a similar game plan in mind, but man, there’s still so much legwork to do—sorting out the technical stuff, hunting for the right plot of land or a house, actually pulling the trigger on the purchase...

We’re on the exact same page. I actually already own my property and have everything set up; it might need some minor upgrades, but I wouldn't say I'm just halfway there. The real second half of the puzzle is figuring out how to sustain myself once I actually make the move. I don't think I'd lean solely on traditional farming just to sell crops, though; I'd much rather focus on mastering newer technologies that allow me to work remotely from home.

Joseph Bailey41 said:Look, nobody on this forum knows you well enough to give you a straight answer to that. What does your girlfriend think about all of this?

She’s basically just a female version of me—which, let's be honest, is a rare find, maybe even one of a kind.

Terry Martinez10 said:The concept itself appeals to me.
However, I suspect that finishing college should probably have come before pulling the trigger on all this.
I I suppose that’s just how we mature... at least that’s my take on it, and honestly, I suspect most people would agree.
The path toward self-actualization isn't some one-size-fits-all roadmap, so why on earth are you so certain that this minimalist approach is actually meant for you?

To be honest, I never really wanted to finish a traditional degree, nor was I really able to; I've been an adjunct student at a state university, which basically means my only interaction with campus life is showing up to take an exam at the end of the semester. I just didn't see the point in shelling out thousands of dollars for a liberal arts degree just to walk away with a piece of paper from Quincy when everything I would have learned could have been picked up on my own. It felt more productive to spend my time reading what I actually cared about rather than following a syllabus someone else designed for me.

That said, the idea of a minimalist lifestyle really resonates with me. I don't necessarily mean a strict, ascetic version of minimalism, but I've come to realize just how much excess and unnecessary luxury we surround ourselves with. We'll see how it plays out.

Drew Moore5 said:Honestly, it would have been pretty logical to ask about that beforehand.
The way you handled it, you just went ahead and finalized everything.
Now, we actually need to sit down and talk through what happened.

If I had asked beforehand, YOU would have just told me I was looking for permission from everyone. I’ve never really cared for people with that kind of attitude. 👎

Drew Moore5 said:Of course you're wrong. Honestly, just the fact that you feel the need to post about it says everything I need to know.

That isn't really about "understanding" anything. I’m not posting this out of some desperate need for validation; I genuinely just want to hear about other people's experiences and the different stages they went through.

Hello everyone. Lately, I’ve been distilling my various life phases into one singular direction, and I wanted to put it out there to get some perspective from those who might know better. 😉

I’ve walked away from college entirely.
I’ve deleted all my social media accounts for good.
I’ve cut ties with about 99% of people, leaving just my girlfriend and my parents.
I’ve bought over a hundred books on psychology and philosophy with the intention of deepening my self-understanding—fields I’ve always had an affinity for.
I’ve dedicated myself to daily reflection, thinking through how to decouple myself from the machine as much as possible.
I’ve embraced minimalism (getting rid of about 80% of my wardrobe, sticking to a specific diet, and refusing to spend money unless it's absolutely necessary).
I’ve started learning the ropes of investing and building passive income streams that could eventually overtake my primary income once I leave my current job.
The plan is to move out to the countryside with my girlfriend and live a quiet life, far removed from the noise of shallow people and the frantic pace of modern life.
I’ve replaced all my bad habits with ones that actually hold value.

Am I being realistic here, or have I completely sabotaged my future? Does this kind of mindset actually lead anywhere?

To be fair, if someone else had made these moves overnight, it would have been catastrophic. But I didn't just snap; I spent a long time sharpening my blade before I finally cut everything loose. Because of that, none of this feels overwhelming. In fact, after a long period of sleepwalking, indulgence,
and believing in fairy tales, I feel incredibly awake and driven.

A little story to wrap this up:

There was a man living in a coastal town who would spend his mornings fishing and selling his catch, his afternoons working on personal projects, and his evenings sitting by the beach with his wife and kids, drinking wine and playing the guitar.

One day, an American businessman arrived. He noticed the fisherman and approached him, asking if he could offer some advice.

The man agreed, and the American said, "I can help you significantly increase your sales. You could buy more boats and gear, hire a few employees, eventually move to a major city to start a firm, and ultimately end up in New York City running several global companies."

The man simply asked, "And how long would that take?"

"Well, maybe twenty or twenty-five years," the businessman replied.

The man asked, "And then what?"

The businessman answered, "Then you'll be able to fish in the mornings, work on yourself in the afternoons, and spend your evenings by the beach with your family, drinking wine and playing the guitar."

That resonates deeply with me. I’ve taken it to heart. What is the point of grinding every single day for someone else just to satisfy the emotional whims of others, or to remain enslaved to our own habits and useless clutter?
Establishing a meaningful existence is actually quite simple; it just requires the discipline to understand what a human being is truly meant for.

Why wait to actually live your life when you already know what you want and realize most of what the world chases isn't even real?

Thanks for reading. I'm open to any thoughts—whether it's practical advice on setting up a life in rural America or suggestions on what kind of work I should pursue.

I hope no one finds this topic out of place here, but to me, this is fundamentally about spirituality, self-discovery, and shattering the illusions of what we think is real versus what is just a fantasy of the mind.😵

Hey everyone,

I’m looking for some advice. I’m currently an adjunct student—not here in the States, but over in Canada—attending a public university. I’ve decided to pull the plug on my studies after passing a few exams.
So far, I’ve paid off about 70% of the total $850 tuition. There’s just one installment left, which isn't strictly tied to a specific date, though they usually split it into two payments per semester.
If I head down to the registrar's office to officially withdraw, would they demand that I settle the remaining balance immediately, or charge me some sort of hefty withdrawal fee?

My contract technically lists me as a state-funded student because I originally enrolled as a full-time student and then submitted a request to switch to adjunct status, though I didn't sign any extra paperwork for the change. This leads me to a slightly gray area: if I were to play it a bit sneaky, grab my official documents temporarily, and then just never come back, would they actually have any legal ground to come after me? I know I’d still technically be enrolled on their books, but my main goal is to get my papers in hand without any messy legal fallout later.

I could always try to claim the documents aren't valid, but honestly, I just want to know if they can legally pursue me for the money. From a logical standpoint, I don't see how they could justify it; since I’m paying my own way rather than relying on government grants or state funding, it doesn't seem right for them to demand the full amount, especially since I haven't even sat for the second semester's exams, which I've already partially funded.

Thomas Nelson25 said:But for real though, people tell me all sorts of things... intelligence can be a pretty complicated thing. Then you've got education.
Same goes for IQ.

Obviously, there are exceptions to the rule.

I couldn't agree more!

Does anyone have any experience with this?

I picked one up a while back and have been using it for some time now; honestly, I'm pretty blown away. It’s a fantastic device with an incredible amount of high-quality content out there—there really is something for everyone. Even though the hardware is quite affordable compared to the sheer volume of stuff you can do with it, we always find a way to make things work; Americans are nothing if not resourceful when it comes to getting the most out of what we buy.

A few times in my life, I’ve crossed paths with people who possess this staggering level of intellect—individuals so intellectually formidable that they don't even need to say a word to command the room.
Some of them are still in my orbit, while others passed through just to remind me of exactly what I needed to hear at that specific moment in time.

I’m curious, how do you all go about sharpening your own intellect?

There is something deeply fascinating to me about encountering someone who truly knows their subject matter—and I don't mean trivial, everyday small talk. I mean deep dives into the cosmos, the mechanics of consciousness, the subconscious, and those heavy, existential topics you simply can't bring up with just anyone. I find myself craving more connections with open-minded people who can see the bigger picture, those who have built their own internal frameworks for understanding reality; they might be a bit dogmatic at times, which some might call a flaw, but I’ve always seen it as a strength.
I get such a sense of fulfillment when I’m listening to or engaging with people online who discuss these profound subjects that we rarely touch upon. We all eventually have to construct our own theories and definitions regarding the unknown, but the key is to keep refining them—to ensure we don't become stagnant or mistake our current perceptions for our absolute identity, because we are certainly much more than just what we currently think we are.

In the title, I brought up spiral dynamics, as I honestly believe that framework offers the best description of intellectual evolution. We all start at zero and climb upward; everyone exists at a specific stage, and I suspect those people I mentioned earlier are operating at an enviable level—perhaps you reading this are, or perhaps it's me. The real work lies in recognizing where you currently stand and acknowledging all the different phases you've navigated to get here.

So, in short, are you actively working on cultivating a stronger intellect? Do you notice specific milestones where you feel you've leveled up, and do you pay close attention to that progression?