Posts by mistybadger55

Looking for some feedback here... I want to know if there are too many lines on this (my) hand or if this is just how it’s supposed to look.

Chloe Gray5 said:I just found out Dad had his hip replaced. He made it through the surgery, but it was intense—who knows how the recovery will go. If he pulls through but realizes he can't even sit up properly, let alone do anything else, I think he might lose all hope. Mom and my sister are certain he’ll spiral. Honestly, I’m still in shock, so I don't even know what to think.

I honestly don't even know what to say or how to encourage you 😢, but I am so sorry your dad is going through this. Just try to stay strong for him as much as possible... he’ll probably be discouraged, which is understandable, but you shouldn't underestimate the human will to live... he might actually surprise you all once the initial shock wears off.
Is there an option for a hip replacement down the road, once things stabilize, just so he can at least sit comfortably?
Hang in there. Stay strong.

Thanks. We laid her to rest today—there was really no point in waiting. There’s just nothing left now but an empty space.

Mom passed away today at 5:20 PM. It was peaceful—quiet, without much pain. I held her hand for the last two hours, though I can't say for sure if she was even aware of it.😢😢😢

mistybadger55 said:My mom was moved from the ICU to the surgical ward today after spending four days there. Despite some pretty grim prognoses, she’s actually recovering from the surgery—which is a relief, I guess. They had to remove 35 cm of her bowel at three different spots, along with a massive tumor mass from her abdominal cavity. Tomorrow, they’re going to try giving her some liquids to see if her digestive system starts functioning again. I'm not getting ahead of myself, though—there's still a long way to go.
Does anyone know—is she allowed to go ahead with the brain MRI now? It’s scheduled for next week, assuming the wound heals up properly.
I’m also worried about the lung metastases—there are a few of them, and the largest one is around 12 mm. On top of that, both adrenal glands have growths measuring 50-70 mm in length and width. What am I supposed to do with that? Is there actually any help available? And what kind of symptoms should I look out for once they start causing real trouble?

mistybadger55 said:Mom's brain metastases have grown—they're sitting at 12x19 mm and 15x19 mm now. Even though those sizes are technically manageable—and honestly, you see them being cleared with Gamma Knife all the time—Dr. Smith just gave us a hard NO today. Short, blunt, and completely ruthless. His reasoning? He claims the "primary disease progression isn't under control"—basically because she’s still dealing with metastases in her lungs, adrenal glands, and a few other lymph nodes.
I don't get it—has anyone ever actually shown up there with brain metastases and still had the disease under control? If the cancer has already spread to the brain, it means things spiraled out of control a long time ago. And yet, they’re refusing treatment...😢😢
I don't get it, and I never will. It’s pathetic—just straight-up writing someone off like they don't matter. Maybe if they actually showed some decency, they wouldn't be stealing people's quality time.
I feel like smashing something right now.

About a month ago, my mom underwent five rounds of whole-brain radiation—and honestly, I’m starting to think it was a massive mistake. Since then, her decline has been brutal. She went from being a relatively mobile woman weighing around 175 lbs to someone completely immobile, barely hitting 110 lbs. Look, maybe she would have spiraled regardless because the metastases elsewhere are so extensive, but at least she wouldn't be suffering like this... we made the wrong call, and the guilt is eating me alive. She’s in the terminal stage now. She sleeps most of the day, can't sleep at night, and if we ask her anything, all we get are one-word answers. She eats a little, but it's obvious she's nearing the end—and she knows it, too. At her request, we had a priest come by two weeks ago.😢

dustybadger81 said:I haven't been active on this forum for a while... but I wanted to let you all know that my second mom lost her battle after a month and a half of fighting and passed away last week. The shock hasn't worn off—I'm stuck with thousands of questions and zero answers. Honestly, I'm mostly terrified of the ones that will hit me later, once the reality truly sinks in that she’s gone. I don't even know how to put it into words, other than: too soon, too fast, just way too fast...

Please accept my deepest condolences... I honestly don't know what else to say.

Angela Wright said:Glioblastoma is a primary brain tumor—along with pancreatic cancer, it’s easily one of the most aggressive things a person can face. My mom’s tumor actually disappeared completely after 30 radiation sessions combined with Temodar (that combo works best), followed by 6 cycles of just Temodar. But after that last round, things started sliding downhill—about 6 months later. Look, you can't really compare different illnesses, but one thing is certain: radiation remains the most effective way to treat tumors, regardless of type. The catch is that it needs to be highly targeted—which is only possible if there's an option for it. Once the disease spreads or metastasizes, targeting becomes incredibly difficult, which is why chemo is used instead.
My advice? Try to get a second opinion from another neurosurgeon—maybe someone like Dr. Paladin at Mount Sinai. If he or anyone else tells you Gamma Knife isn't an option, then it really isn't. You've got nothing to lose.

We were already at Mount Sinai seeing Dinko Mihaljević. There is zero chance any doctor there is going to go against the decision made by one of their own colleagues.🙂 It's pointless to push it—it's smarter to just stop stalling and head in this Monday for the whole-brain radiation appointment. We'll see how things play out from there.

Susan Diaz91 said:mistybadger55😢
Seeing your username in that last post on the health thread actually forced me to open this painful topic again 😢
So, you're here too—along with your mom?
🙂
I don't have anything profound to say, but it was only after my mother passed away that I finally accepted everything people had been telling me, both here and in real life...
Sometimes I'm angry at myself for that, sometimes I'm not...
Oh, mistybadger55... how is your mom doing now?

Susan Diaz91 said:Here I am, 26 weeks pregnant... once again, pregnant and back on this thread just like when I was with Lara—emotions just surge, ebb, and flow...
I'm not sure what comforting thing to say on a thread where people cling to one another for any scrap of hope, thanking God for a new day, for a single breath, for another day of life...
And yet, here I am, getting worked up today because I hit a curb and tore off my fender...
I needed this thread—to reopen it, to read through it, to cry over my younger self from 2009 and over all of you living through this with sick parents and loved ones....
I would give anything to see my daughter again... everything... but instead, I just hope we might cross paths somewhere, and that she’ll be there waiting for me with the son I lost way back in 2007...

Forgive me—maybe it's just the hormones running wild, or maybe opening this thread just unlocks all those emotions that went silent for me on September 8, 2009..

I wish you all the happiness in the world; I hope your loved ones stay with you for a long time—cherish them... while you can... I miss hearing someone call me 'sweetie' so much... since seven months into 2009, nobody has ever said that to me again... 😢 and man, I need to hear it...
My mom used to say it to me. 😢

Lara,🙂, I remember so clearly when you were going through hell with your mom—it started with her lungs, right?
My mom has had melanoma since 2005, but the damn thing stayed quiet until last spring. Now, unfortunately, we've hit a wall; most options are exhausted. She has two spots on her brain and several more in her lungs and adrenal glands. We're heading in on Monday to discuss whole-brain radiation, so whatever will be, will be.
I know the pain doesn't go away with time, but you probably just learn to live with it😢.
Just cry when you need to, but you also know you have reasons to keep pushing forward—two pretty good ones, actually😍 I don't follow pregnancy updates—is it a boy or a girl?

bluetiger72 said:I’ve been lurking here for ages—reading everything you all post—but I just couldn't bring myself to jump in until now. So, here I am.
My mom has been fighting this battle for six years now—it’s been an endless cycle of ovarian cancer, then breast cancer, then something else in the pelvic region. We’ve gone through chemo, and lately, she’s been dealing with bowel issues. A recent PET scan showed activated lymph nodes, so it's back to chemo, followed by surgery where they had to install an ostomy bag. They couldn't touch the actual tumor because it’s grown into the sacrum. There are metastatic blood vessels in her liver too, though they say it's just on the periphery, not deep inside. They aren't large, apparently. Her pathology results came back positive, so she’s heading straight back into chemo. She’s lost so much weight, and the pain is just brutal. My doctor told me the pain is likely from the original ovarian cancer and that those areas usually respond well to chemo, but honestly—I don't even know what to think anymore. I lost my father to suicide when I was fifteen—my sister is only fifteen now. We're just trying to get through this. 186 miles I honestly don't even know what to make of them anymore. I’ve been spiraling—completely paranoid—doing my own checks. My CA125 came back normal at 15.2, and both my abdominal and breast ultrasounds were fine, but I can't help it. I've become totally obsessive; every little symptom feels like a looming catastrophe. Plus, I gave birth just three months ago, so my hormones are still a complete mess. To top it off, my mom says she's feeling some lumps in her groin area—swollen lymph nodes—but I don't even know what to think anymore. Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation?
Sorry for the long post...🙂🙂🙂🙂

Nicole Wilson3 said:Hey everyone here fighting the same battle. I don't really know where to start, but here’s the short version—my mom is dealing with bladder cancer that has metastasized to her groin, along with lung cancer that's currently in remission following surgery. She was discharged from the hospital ten days ago after three weeks of radiation aimed at stopping the constant bleeding and the pain she feels whenever she urinates. Unfortunately, it hasn't helped much—she’s already facing another surgery to deal with a recurrence in the bladder.
The doctor leading her care told us they’ve done everything possible from their end—and I truly believe them. We’re just stuck. It feels completely helpless because she’s still in pain, there’s still bleeding, and nothing is getting better. I know everyone here will get it since you're all walking this same path, but I can't stand watching her writhe in agony anymore. She’s even refusing the mildest morphine patches... how do I convince her that this isn't the final resort? I actually asked the doctor to sit down and talk sense into her, but she just won't budge. Has anyone dealt with something similar? I desperately need some advice.
I’m putting out another request here—given our current financial situation, we just can't afford to keep buying pull-up diapers. Not the ones with the adhesive tabs, either—he gets those as well—and honestly, he won't use them anyway. Does anyone happen to have any size Small pull-ups they could donate? Or maybe sell at a decent price? I would be incredibly grateful if someone could reach out or point me toward another site where I might find something affordable.
I want to wish you all nothing but courage and strength for everything we're going through right now. I’m truly sorry—honestly, I don't even know what to say in a situation like this, so please don't hold it against me if I'm at a loss for words.

dustybadger81 said:Hi everyone... I don't even know how to start, but long story short... about a month and a half ago, my life just flipped upside down—multiple times over—and I can't seem to find my footing again. My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer, and just days later, we found out there are bone metastases. They've already started spreading and have damaged two vertebrae; there’s a real risk that if she makes the wrong move, her spine could fracture and leave her paralyzed. I have hundreds of questions swirling in my head, but honestly, I don't even know where to begin. It's hard to wrap my head around how this all went undetected until such an advanced stage. So far, she’s had one round of radiation for pain management and one chemo session. Last week, she was supposed to go back for more radiation since it spread to her right knee, followed by chemo, but things took a turn for the worse on Tuesday. She developed sepsis and ended up in the ICU under isolation. She's still there today, and I can see her mental state deteriorating—probably because she's stuck in a room without a TV or anyone to talk to. You know how visits in the ICU are; you get an hour or two, and then she's just alone for the rest of the day. Does anyone here know someone dealing with a situation similar to my mom's? Is there anything we can actually do? How much hope is realistic? Mom is relatively young, in her early 40s, and it breaks my heart to see her like this when I feel so helpless.

Maria Sullivan32 said:Sending strength to everyone fighting here. 🙂

My dear mom is 58. It started with colon cancer, and now it’s hitting her bones, lungs, and lymph nodes. This whole process has been going on since 2006.
Because of the insane pain from the bone metastases, she had palliative radiation last week, and now she’s been vomiting for six days straight. We're calling emergency services every single day, and they seem to roll their eyes (or whatever) every time I call regarding her injections.
Does anyone have experience with how to stop vomiting after radiation? Is it normal for it to last this long? On top of that, she’s suffering from stomach pains—right below the ribs but above the actual stomach—that we just can't settle.
We are losing our minds with the cocktail of meds and injections she’s getting, and so far, nothing has worked. (Zofran, Buscopan, Ranix, Reglan, Torecan, Normabel, Diazepam)

Please, I need some insight, an answer, or even just an idea before I lose it from doctors brushing us off and acting like everything is fine. 😠

Hang in there, everyone. 👍

Ladies, I can't exactly say "welcome" to this thread
, but since you're here, we can at least share what we're going through. The common thread is that we're all dealing with mothers who are seriously ill. Mine has melanoma with metastases everywhere; we're fighting as hard as we can and just taking it one day at a time. I hope God gives you all the strength you need to handle what lies ahead (for you and for me).😢
I don't have any profound advice to offer—I just want to wish nothing but the best for all of you and your moms.

Angela Wright said:Radiation is still the most effective tool we have against tumors—period. When it comes to my mom's glioblastoma, radiation was what actually did the heavy lifting. She had a recurrence in just one spot in her brain—about 1cm—but they wouldn't even consider Gamma Knife for her. Instead, they just pushed for more radiation. To be fair, she initially turned down oncological treatment right after surgery, which led to that recurrence six months later. As far as chemo goes? It didn't do much for her at all.
From what I understand, if they’re only targeting a single spot in the brain, they go with Gamma—so I honestly have no clue what the doctor was getting at.🤷

I think a Gamma scan works if it's one up to 3 cm, or maybe two up to 2 cm—but honestly, it doesn't matter anymore. That option is off the table.
How did radiation affect your mom? Did that recurrence actually shrink, or did it just stop growing? For how long? I’m assuming we’re talking a few months here. Also—what kind of side effects are we looking at? I know it hits everyone differently, but I’d like to have at least a rough idea of what to expect.

Angela Wright said:Look, mistybadger55, brain surgery—even using a Gamma Knife—isn't some simple procedure. It’s incredibly complex and risky. Given your mom's current condition, such an operation would just ramp up those risks, and honestly, there's no guarantee it would even be feasible, let alone improve her quality of life afterward. There are too many metastases; the disease isn't dormant or stable. But in my opinion, the real issue here is that Gamma Knife isn't typically used when there are multiple metastases present in the brain. The silver lining is that these specific targets should be sensitive to radiation, which she will definitely receive, potentially shrinking them and opening up other options later.
Hang in there!

No, my mom has two brain metastases, specifically the sizes I mentioned. Based on that, Dr. Mihaljević actually said a Gamma Knife procedure was an option. He turned it down because of the metastases in her lungs, adrenal glands, and the fatty tissue in her gluteal region.
How certain are you that the metastases are sensitive to WBRT (whole-brain radiation therapy)?
From what I've read on some US medical sites, melanoma metastases can be pretty resistant.

mistybadger55 said:From what I can gather, Dr. Dabelić said—if we get lucky and the Gamma Knife actually shrinks those brain metastases, meaning the follow-up MRI shows nothing left in the brain, then we head back to Vinogradski and Mom can start her treatment.
I know I'm grasping at straws here, but there’s still some hope.

.

The metastases in Mom's brain are sitting at 12x19 and 15x19 mm right now. Even though those sizes are definitely manageable—and they deal with much larger ones via Gamma Knife all the time—Dr. Mihaljević just gave us a hard NO today. Short, blunt, and totally merciless. His reasoning? "The primary disease progression isn't under control"—basically because she has metastases in her lungs, adrenal glands, and a few other lymph nodes.
I just don't get it. Has anyone ever shown up there with brain metastases and actually had their disease "under control"? If things have already reached the brain, the disease clearly spiraled out of control a long time ago. But they just refuse to treat it...😢😢
It makes zero sense and I don't think I ever will. It’s pathetic, really. They just write a person off, when maybe treating this could have bought her a few more decent months of life.
I honestly feel like breaking something right now.

My mom was moved from the ICU to the surgical ward today after spending four days there. Despite some pretty grim prognoses, she’s actually recovering from the surgery. They had to remove 35 cm of her bowel at three different spots, along with a massive tumor mass from her abdominal cavity. Tomorrow, they’re going to try giving her some liquids to see how her digestive system handles it. I’m not getting my hopes up too high—there’s still a long road ahead.
If anyone knows: is she cleared for a brain MRI now (maybe in a week, assuming the wound heals okay)?
I'm also worried about the lung metastases—she has several, the largest being 12 mm—and both adrenal glands have masses measuring 50-70 mm in length and width. What’s the deal with that? Is there any help available? And what kind of symptoms should I look out for once those start causing real trouble?

Robert Grant84,

I am truly sorry for your loss. Believe me, I know exactly how this feels—no matter how much you prepare yourself or how much you know it’s coming, it still hits hard.
I don't have anything else wise to say.😢😢

Robert Grant84 said:Dear Rebecca,

About a year and a half ago, my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer. They officially called it "inflammatory processes" filling her abdominal cavity. Since then, she’s gone through three different types of chemo that didn't do a thing—metastases spread to other organs, and two large tumors grew (one in the abdomen and one at the colon exit). During that time, she also underwent four surgeries and had to get a colostomy bag. For several months now, she hasn't been able to get out of bed, and this past week, she stopped eating entirely. We're giving her water via syringe because she can't even manage a straw anymore. Last week, she started vomiting a greenish-brown fluid, and there’s dark blood leaking from the colon constantly. As for the pain—I can't even begin to describe it, regardless of the meds: Durogesic (now up to 250), Voltaren, Ketonal, Sevredol, Ibuprofen.

Honestly, I am so sorry about your mother.🙂 We haven't reached a phase this difficult yet. To be blunt, I’m not even sure if it’s a good idea—or if I even want it—for Mom to recover from this surgery, given everything else. I know how grim this sounds and looks, but she has brain metastases that might have been removable via Gamma Knife. Recovering from this surgery will take forever, if it even happens, and by then, those brain metastases will almost certainly have grown significantly. She also has them in her lungs and adrenal glands. I just don't know...😢😢

Unfortunately, my mom couldn't make it to her MRI today, and honestly, there's very little hope she'll be able to go at all. She spent all of yesterday dealing with constant nausea and intense lower abdominal pain. By the afternoon, she started vomiting blood😢, so we rushed her to the ER and she was admitted. She went into surgery early this morning: her abdominal cavity was full of tumors, and they had to perform a bowel resection. She’s in the ICU now—she's awake and fully conscious. The doctors told her it was just ruptured ulcers, but we know the real truth.
They aren't exactly optimistic about her recovery from the surgery, though a tiny sliver of hope remains.
😢😢
I don't know... I'm bracing for the worst.

We managed to snag an appointment at Medicol for February 16th because they flagged it as urgent. I just sent over the scanned results and they gave us the slot right away.
Angela Wright, does the referral need to explicitly state that the MRI requires contrast?

From what I’ve gathered about Dr. Dabelić—if we’re lucky enough that the Gamma Knife actually pulls those brain metastases back, meaning the follow-up MRI shows nothing left in the brain—we head back to the Vinogradski clinic and Mom can finally start her treatment.
I know I'm grasping at straws here, but there’s still a glimmer of hope.

Does anyone know if the MRI quality at the Saint Catherine facility in the local area is any good? We could go private and get seen immediately, and they’re running a 25% discount right now, so the cost would be $400.

We were just at Vinogradski today—mom has two brain metastases plus several in her lungs and adrenal glands. They told us we need an MRI first, then take those results over to Rebro. I’m wondering if there's any way to fast-track an MRI through insurance, because this is incredibly urgent. The smaller the targets are, the better the chance the Gamma Knife will actually work. At Medicol, the waitlist is at least two months. She doesn't have that kind of time—if we can't speed things up, we'll just pay out of pocket.

mistybadger55 said:We were just at Vinogradski today—mom has two brain metastases plus several in her lungs and adrenal glands. They told us we need an MRI first, then take those results over to Rebro. I’m wondering if there's any way to fast-track an MRI through insurance, because this is incredibly urgent. The smaller the targets are, the better the chance the Gamma Knife will actually work. At Medicol, the waitlist is at least two months. She doesn't have that kind of time—if we can't speed things up, we'll just pay out of pocket.

I didn't mention why this is so critical—if the brain metastases recede, mom becomes a candidate for Vemurafenib treatment. That gives us hope that the other metastases might also shrink or disappear. Every single day counts right now.

mistybadger55 said:Alright, here’s my mom's story:

Back in 2005, she noticed this black spot—a mole—on her left lower leg just above the ankle. It definitely wasn't there before; it was about the size of a fingernail. There were a few other bluish spots around it, too, but since Mom deals with thrombosis in that leg, she didn't think much of it—it just looked like some bulging veins. It wasn't until the spot actually started bleeding that they went to see the GP, who sent her to a dermatologist and then finally to the tumor institute, where they had to cut that section out. I want to give a shout-out to Dr. Nola over there—great work.
When she went in to get her results, the regular doctor was out on vacation—some other guy was covering for him instead. I don't have his name right now, but I'll find out and post it here because the man is completely incompetent. He actually looked at the findings and told her everything was fine, interpreting the diagnosis of a balloon nevus as "all good." To make matters worse, the dermatologist at the Mayo Clinic was just as useless—she was way too happy about it just because the report supposedly looked okay.
The only person with any sense here was that rural GP—she actually had the guts to tell me straight that the results didn't look good.
At the three-month follow-up, the doctor at Nola basically grabbed his head in disbelief once he saw what his colleague had reported... Basically, my mom ended up in surgery where they cut out the melanoma along with a wider margin of surrounding tissue. They checked the lymph nodes under her knee and in the groin area, and nothing was found. I don't have the paperwork right in front of me—but at the time, it was classified as Stage 1, though they were definitely worried about those tiny satellite spots; there were quite a few of them.
After that, my mom went through six cycles of DTIC chemotherapy—doctors basically told us there was nothing else they could do. For the next five or six years, she’s been going in for checkups every four months, and every single time, they only checked her tumor markers, which stayed normal. During that whole stretch, she also dealt with breast cancer—thankfully caught early, so they removed it along with the lymph nodes and did targeted radiation on the area. Throughout all this, the skin on her lower leg just kept getting worse. Spots would pop up and vanish, or show up and just stay there. A few months back, one of them started bleeding again; we were doing regular dressings, but it just wouldn't heal. Two months ago, she finally had surgery at the Mayo Clinic—they had to remove that entire section, including deep tissue, and perform a skin graft using healthy skin from her thigh. As awful as the whole situation looked, it actually healed well—which is a total miracle considering her history with venous thrombosis.
Two weeks ago, my mom felt a lump in her groin—and she’d actually been feeling something in her lower back for a few months now, too. She just didn't say anything to anyone until now.
Diagnosis: lymph node metastases. Tumor markers are normal—abdominal CT showed absolutely nothing.
Dr. Tomek at the institute has put me back on DTIC—says there aren't any other options. Starting June 6th.
Look, I know the situation is grim. I’m fully aware that chemo efficacy isn't where it needs to be—honestly, there just isn't adequate treatment available right now. There aren't even any clinical trials to turn to. So, I'm going to buy her some beta-glucan—anything to help her endure this whole ordeal, for God's sake.
Any advice or experience you can share would be greatly appreciated.

Here’s the update from May 27, 2011. Mom finished six cycles of chemo—zero results. There was a silver lining, though; she qualified for treatment with vemurafenib and was actually supposed to start right about now. But that plan is dead in the water because a CT scan just picked up two brain metastases—both up to 1 cm. The doctors haven't officially broken the news to her yet—that's scheduled for Tuesday—but I feel like I have to tell her myself before then (I found out through other channels). I honestly can't find the words to describe how I'm feeling right now. Does anyone here have experience dealing with these kinds of brain tumors? Is there any chance radiation could actually pull them back?