Posts by Lisa White54

feralridge3 said:does anyone need them?
I've got three patches left, "size" 50 (actual size is 21 square cm).
My grandma was using them during her last few days, and these three are what's left over.
Sadly, she passed away last night from some rare bile duct cancer that spread to her liver and a bit further. 😢

Sending my sincere condolences your way.

Regarding the Durogesic... when my brother-in-law passed away (about a year ago, give or take...), my sister gave me the Durogesic patches they had left from the 75mg dose because my husband uses the exact same thing. But get this—my local doctor's clinic actually demanded I return them TO THEM. Unbelievable! I was totally blindsided, like we’d committed some kind of felony or something! They claimed we aren't allowed to have more patches than what was specifically written on the prescription. Honestly, who are they giving them to without a script? And how?? We can only get Durogesic at the pharmacy, definitely not at the clinic!!!

So we ended up with zero stock, and then the pharmacies don't even have any in stock either (talk about a paradox!), and once I finally bring in a prescription, I have to wait two whole days just to pick it up.

hollowmarlin66 said:My mom beat breast cancer ages ago, but my brother passed away recently from stomach cancer. I’ve been through the wringer, so I get why doctors don't leave much room for "hopeful vibes" when things look grim. They look at the facts—purely medical, purely empirical. And honestly? They’re rarely wrong; those rare miracle stories usually come from people who were already in terminal stages. But we, as families, always hold onto hope. Sure, everyone’s immune system works differently, that’s a given. You have to fight for your own optimism, but doctors? They just give you the cold, hard reality. For example... when my brother was diagnosed, they basically ran him through the wringer in Seattle and told us to just sit tight because he had less than a year left. We didn't really take that to heart, and we didn't even tell him the exact prognosis, though he knew what he was dealing with. He was a naturally upbeat guy. He decided to go head-to-head with the disease, so we went to Chicago where they took him in, operated, set up a treatment plan, but once again, the doctors gave us a bleak outlook. He did chemo first to make him fit for surgery, and he stayed positive, thinking he could beat it... but after a few months, he was gone. Even he felt the end coming. On the flip side, my mother... she’s more of a pessimist, a realist, sometimes struggles with depression. When they found her cancer a few years back, the doctor said she’d pull through, and we actually thought the opposite would happen because of her mental state. But she made it... So, no, it's not all just "in your head."
I'm not posting this to crush anyone's spirit or say there's zero chance despite bad odds, but I want to point out that doctors are incredibly good at assessing the reality of a situation—even if it feels cruel. It’s the truth. And just a heads up... I’m not exactly siding with the medical establishment here. I’ve had some pretty terrible experiences involving unethical behavior during the treatment of both my family members...

The thing is, there are no rules. Doctors make their best guess based on what they've seen before, but even they can't predict exactly how a disease is going to play out. We all want straight answers from them, but they don't have them. Disease hits everyone differently, and all you've got left is the fight. Some people get lucky, others don't... I am so sorry about your brother... Life is just plain unfair and brutal..
Hang in there, you're gonna need a lot of strength and patience for your mom.

Megan Fowler78,
so glad you popped up here. Honestly, I was wondering where you’d disappeared to and how everything was going with your husband. Thinking about both of you. You really are a fighter when it comes to him—just pure grit and heart.
Sending big love your way!

Robert Grant84 said:That’s all well and good to say... but did he actually step up and help, or was he just talking?

Look, honey, my husband's doctor actually has lung cancer himself. And the guy is still working. I honestly thought he'd have a bit more empathy, you know? Like, since he's looking at this disease from the same side of the fence now, maybe he'd get it. But nope. Not even a little. Our last check-up was such a disaster that I was stuck in a funk for an entire week just thinking about how poorly that doctor treated my husband.
It’s like, oh, it doesn't matter if my husband is hurting, nooo! No need for any tests... nooo! We're just imagining things! It's terrifying.
And when they're the ones in pain, then what? Suddenly nothing needs to be done?? Is everything just irrelevant then??

ironsailor22 said:It’s not just that our healthcare system is slow and broken—it’s straight-up inhumane. You’re sitting there in agony, getting nothing but attitude from everyone, and nobody lifts a finger. I went through this exact nightmare with my mom, so believe me, I get it.
And now, a month after she passed, the rage and bitterness are even worse than before. Because our medical system did absolutely zero, she died in massive pain and suffering. Some ER doctor actually said that nowadays, nobody should have to die hungry, thirsty, or in pain.
Man, that sounds beautiful, doesn't it? Too bad it's light-years away from how things actually work here.

The whole healthcare setup is a disaster. It makes me sick. My husband's entire medical burden is falling squarely on my shoulders. I'm not a doctor or anything, so everything I do is just guesswork because I have nobody to turn to for answers. It’s awful. Every single day it’s something new, and I’m just lost on what to even do with it... He was a patient at Jordan's clinic, but they don't want to treat him anymore because they've done their part. Other hospitals won't take him because he's "from Jordan's," and so on... it's just constant ping-pong! He feels terrible, but who cares? Nobody knows what's wrong with him and nobody gives a damn. It's pathetic.

Robert Grant84 said:The oncologist has been out on sick leave for two weeks now and nobody else has the balls to actually look at the discharge papers or the medical history...

Look, don't just sit there waiting for the oncologist. While she’s out, go see some GP or have them send you to an internist... honestly, anyone. Just don't wait. If you have to yell, make threats, or act crazy—do it. They have to help you. You ask the GP to rewrite the Durogesic prescription and they say they can't? Fine. Then demand a referral to someone who *can* do it, and demand it right now! Threaten to report them to the medical board. I've dealt with all kinds of nonsense over the last six years. My move is usually to try being nice first, but let's be real, that rarely works. After that, I'm threatening, screaming, fighting... you gotta do something to light a fire under them. Fight for her. Demand they help your mom; it's literally their job. Nobody should be in pain. Period. No one. Remind them that they could wake up with cancer tomorrow too (that usually shakes them up!). Ask them if they think they could handle that kind of agony. Seriously, scream, threaten, whatever. They have to help. It's just how it is.
It sucks that we're forced to get aggressive, but if that's the only way to win, don't feel bad about it.
Check out that nonprofit group, New Day Hope. They have a website and a forum where cancer patients and families hang out. If you aren't on it, go there; you'll find tons of useful advice. There's even an amazing oncologist who works with the association. If you need advice, support, or anything else, she'll be there. She helped me a ton.
And... don't give up. You have to fight. I know how brutal this is. Just stay stubborn and stay brave.

Sophia Ross53 said:It takes an insane amount of grit and pure willpower to push through all that pain. Honestly, I have so much respect for people fighting this stuff. It reminds me of my own mom—even when the doctors were giving her zero hope, she just kept grinding until the very end. There were so many times she wanted to throw in the towel, but she kept going, mostly for herself and even more for us. My heart breaks for anyone facing this kind of battle without someone standing right there by their side. Hang in there.

Thanks! 🙂

Robert Grant84 said:She isn't using it yet, but my dad is picking some up today—hopefully that makes things a bit easier. The pills he's on right now only last about 5 hours before the pain kicks back in... it’s coming from the pelvic cancer and that incision from his fourth surgery, especially over these last few months.

A specialist has to prescribe the Durogesic patch before a regular family doctor can write the script. For cancer patients, you don't have to deal with co-pays; it goes under the blue prescription tier.
My husband started on Durogesic at 25, and he's up to 75 now. You gotta swap the patch every third day—you absolutely cannot skip a day. I know because we tried it once or twice and it was just brutal. The Durogesic lasts for 72 hours.

Along with the Durogesic, depending on how bad the pain hits on any given day, my husband
also takes some Tramal drops.
And I can tell you, it still helps him, thank God.
Just find a specialist, an oncologist, or anyone who can give the okay for the Durogesic. That patch is definitely going to take the edge off her pain.

Best,

Robert Grant84 said:🙂 Dad isn't just gonna roll over and quit, even though Mom keeps begging us to just let her go. She's in massive pain and she doesn't buy the whole "recovery" thing for a second. Thinks we're just dragging out the inevitable. Last PET scan was over two months ago, and honestly, since she's complaining about aches all over, I'm worried the cancer might have hit her bones by now.
They’d tell us if it was truly the end—like, if there's zero chance at a normal life—but the doctors keep saying it's not over yet, that fighting and treatment are still worth it.

You gotta fight. Always. Sure, there are those days where you just feel totally helpless, desperate, terrified, or just straight-up pissed off... It's that eternal question, right? Like, why us? But those days, they pass. I know things are brutal for you and your dad, but I bet it's even harder on your mom. It's her life on the line; she's staring down that fear of losing everything.
You guys need to keep her spirits up. When she hits a wall and falls into a depression, pull her back up. You've got to convince her that even if today sucks, tomorrow can be better. You have to fight for that tomorrow. Just stay by her side, shower her with love, tenderness, and attention. She deserves all of it. Let her see how much you love her and how much you actually believe she can get better. It makes the fight easier when you feel like people are in your corner.
Just remember, she's the one carrying the heaviest load here.
About those pains, is your mom using a Durogesic patch?

Nancy Hernandez43 said:It’s a brutal call to make. The thing is, with this kind of sickness, you’re always flying blind—you never know when it’s gonna pivot or just stall out. My husband was given maybe two or three months to live (lung cancer, I’ve mentioned that before), but he’s still here, over six years later. He did his rounds with chemo and radiation during that first year back in 2005, and that was basically the extent of the medical intervention. Everything else was about beefing up his immune system, making it strong enough to take the fight to the disease itself... and we pulled it off.
I don't know, I’d never have the guts to go down that path your parents are looking at (not for myself or anyone close to me). There’s always hope, you know? You just gotta fight for a new tomorrow, one day at a time... just grinding through the days.

So happy to hear, Lisa White54, that you guys are still holding the line!!!! Keep fighting!

I’m a newcomer here, but honestly, I’m a bit of a mess in real life too because my head is always spinning in a hundred different directions. I don't even know how to put into words what my mom went through and is still going through. Right now, we’re just maintaining the status quo. Four years ago, we weren't even sure she'd make it six months. Since then, we’ve survived two massive surgeries and twelve cycles of chemo. Over the last year, they found some swollen lymph nodes, but they eventually shrink back down and her markers stay steady. We’ve got another checkup in a month..

We’re just taking it day by day... everything gets harder, both on the wallet and the mind, but we aren't throwing in the towel after how hard we've pushed already.

Every patient is their own universe; there are no guarantees... but miracles happen when everyone stays in the ring together! So we keep fighting!

Big hugs, Nancy Hernandez43.
It’s good to see an old veteran popping up in the threads. I’m a newbie on this forum, too. You said your mom’s situation is status quo. Honestly? That’s a win.
Look, we all know there are no rules. Every person is wired differently, no two cancers play out the same way, but we all want the same thing: we want to live, and we want our people by our side for as long as possible.
Hang in there. Sending a huge hug your way.

i

That’s why you have to be careful with slogans—you actually have to fight. Personally, you have to respect the illness and weigh what can actually be saved. If there's anything left to save, that is. Everyone decides for themselves and knows best what their options are.

Is my struggle and pushing others to fight just some empty slogan? I wouldn't say so. Fighting takes serious guts, patience, and a hell of a lot of money..
It breaks my heart to see her mother suffering like this. It’s gut-wrenching watching someone go through agony. My husband is going through it too, and man, it isn't easy. I don't even know exactly what's happening. Nobody is giving me any straight answers. We were over at Jordan a few weeks ago, and the doctor literally refused to tell me a single thing. For the last six years, I haven't received one piece of real information. Just a vague "it's fine." And I know why they do it. If I don't know anything, I can't demand anything. I can't even push them to continue treatment.
My husband is struggling hard. He’s got pain that just gets worse every single day. His bones ache. It’s probably cancer that’s metastasized to his bones or his spinal cord. Who knows. All I know is that something is going on. He’s on 75 Durogesic, he's taking Tramal, he's on antidepressants... He’s a different person now, mentally. But I’m fighting. I’m carrying the entire weight of this disease on my shoulders. When it comes to this sickness, I am completely alone. And I’m fighting the only way I know how. Every day is different, and I've just accepted that. I don't know what tomorrow looks like, but when the day comes that my husband doesn't wake up, I'll know I gave everything I had to help him. I won't leave anything to chance. At the end of the day, I just look at it this way: how would I want people to treat me if I were the one sick?..

Robert Grant84 said:Any advice here? 🤷
What should we do?

My parents have decided they're done fighting. They aren't doing chemo or radiation because they don't see any chance of a cure (maybe they'll last a few weeks or a month, but honestly, who knows)... 🙂
No one offered any tips for trying something else that might actually work a miracle.

That's a heavy call to make. The thing is, with this kind of sickness, you can never really predict the trajectory—like, when it's gonna hit or if it'll just stall out. My husband was given maybe two or three months back in the day (lung cancer, I've mentioned this before), but he’s still hanging in there over six years later. He did the whole chemo and radiation thing during that first year back in 2005, and that was pretty much the extent of the medical stuff. Everything else was just about cranking up the immune system, making it strong enough to take the fight to the disease itself... and hey, it worked for us.
I don't know, I could never bring myself to pull the plug like your folks are planning (not for me, not for anyone close to me). There's always that sliver of hope, that drive to push for one more tomorrow... just taking it one day at a time.

Samuel Reed5 said:lost my patient today... 😢
stay strong out there, everyone.

I'm really sorry for your loss.

Drew Brooks8 said:Honestly, Jane Doe🤷 I really can't tell if this guy is just some total fraud🤷

The deputy for the group trying to get registered is Jane Doe, a mom with a 6-year-old girl who had a brain tumor. Doctors gave her 6 months to live, but fast forward 14 years and the tumor is gone—all that's left is needing a wheelchair.
Then there's Nikolai Totsev, dealt with malignant melanoma back in '99 and beat it. Then Jane Doe in '04, stomach cancer, also cured... They're pushing for registration right now because the guy is already 87.
There are more stories like this here...
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Neka-B...app_2347471856

First off, you were pretty nasty calling Jane Doe that... Have some shame!
Everyone fights this disease in their own way and everyone gets to make their own choices. As for what actually works? Who knows. Personally, I stick to mainstream medicine. I'm certain nobody could have saved my husband from those famous scammers who get rich off sick people... That's just how I see them. I've never gone to them and I don't buy into it. Medicine saved my husband, along with my efforts with his diet and immune boosters. I could technically claim my husband was "cured" by my special juices too, right? Why not! There isn't a single cancer cell left—that 6cm tumor on his lungs and trachea just vanished... and he feels great! I could easily whip up some drinks, charge people money, and parade my husband around as proof of my success to get rich... wouldn't I! But I know how sneaky this disease is, and I know we'll never truly be in the clear. Every little ache, every tiny change brings that massive doubt about whether it's coming back... It's such a heavy battle, and honestly, kudos to all the brave fighters out there every single day.
As for the frauds... they better watch out for God! I mean, who actually has a cure for cancer?? If someone did, they'd definitely be the most famous person on the planet.
And please, cut the insults in the future! You don't know anything about us!

Megan Fowler78 said:Who can actually say for sure what’s right or wrong? Honestly, is there anything worse than that gut-wrenching guilt—that feeling that you could've done more, maybe saved someone? Back in February, my husband was in a really dark place. We're talking lung metastases (where the primary started), liver, adrenal glands... plus fluid buildup near the diaphragm. It was just awful. The oncologist we saw back then—we ended up switching doctors after that—told us the chances were basically zero. But we decided to push through and try four cycles of chemo anyway. In the middle of all that, we met this woman who told us how her situation in Mexico was hopeless because the doctors there had given up on her, but once she went to Perth for radiofrequency ablation, her results were incredible by the time she got back to Belgrade?! Well, my guy finished all four rounds of chemo, and the scans showed everything is clear, except for three spots on the liver that have shrunk down to a third of their original size! We've worked it out with the new oncologist to do two more rounds of chemo, just hoping to clear those last bits out. Now, I'm sitting here wondering: was it trusting this new optimistic doctor? Was it the chemo itself? Or was it just having faith in that one shot with the ablation? Who knows. All I know is we have to keep moving forward. You have to believe there's a chance to either beat it or at least keep it from winning...

Man, I am so incredibly happy to hear things are looking up! 🙂
Big hugs!!

feralridge3 said:not yours. 😉

Anyway, I dropped off my medical files at the review board today to try and get my disability extended. I honestly couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the verdict. 😲 They only bumped my leave up by 13 days, until the first. 🤷
They actually wrote that there’s "no indication" for long-term care based on the paperwork they have.
Let's be real here—I am nowhere near being able to step foot back in that office. 👎

When my husband was out, they cut him off from disability after a whole year. I was floored!! Then his primary doctor basically told me that since he couldn't work, I should just quit my job too!!!! He was only 48 with 25 years of seniority... I went down to his company and demanded they give him vacation time instead. Then, a few days later, I packed him up, took him to the hospital, and got a new medical leave started, which bought him another year. After that, he went before the disability board—again!—and they ruled he had "partial disability." Partial... when the guy has lung cancer. Finally, I fought them on it and he finally got his disability checks. It isn't a fortune, but at least I don't have to deal with this damn bureaucratic nightmare anymore!!

Edward Vaughn10 said:They told my mom the exact same thing—basically implying the worst is coming. It honestly feels like they just don't want patients dying on their watch, so they shuffle them off to somewhere else...

So, the doctor pulled some strings to get her moved to Smalltown, USA. She spent about two and a half weeks there before passing away yesterday 🙂🙂🙂🙂 lung cancer that had spread to her brain. Keeping her at home wasn't an option, and the doctors basically ruled out home care entirely too. I really wish she could've been closer, but what can you even do? 😢😢 At least she isn't suffering anymore..

Please accept my sincerest condolences.

My brother-in-law passed away this past Thursday, April 29th.
It all feels so surreal. Like, you just can't wrap your head around the fact that he’s actually gone. My sister was right there with him in the hospital through all those grueling days of his struggle. She didn't leave his side, even at the very end. His last sight was her face. He went out looking at the love of his life... and honestly? His suffering is over now. He isn't hurting anymore. He went through so much pain. And my sister... man, she is absolutely devastated.
I'm trying to be there for her, to comfort her, but it's tough. It's just hard. My heart goes out to her, and honestly, to everyone else out there who's dealing with losing someone they love...

brisksurfer said:thanks for the support...keeping my fingers crossed for your husband!

What kind of cancer is your husband fighting?

Please, take my deepest condolences. Your dad is definitely somewhere better now, somewhere without all that pain and suffering.

My husband is dealing with non-small cell lung cancer in his right bronchus and trachea.

Man, everything is just so heavy..
My brother-in-law—my sister's husband—is 55...Last August, they found out he has pancreatic cancer. He's doing really poorly. He's at the hospital right now, and the doctor basically told us he's got maybe two or three days left. I'm stuck deciding whether to bring him home so he can pass away surrounded by family, or just leave him there in the hospital...I feel terrible. It just doesn't sink in that this is actually happening...that there's all this agony, that he's dying, that there's no fix...that he's just going to be gone!
I'm honestly falling apart...

brisksurfer said:So, they finally gave us the news over at Mercy Hospital. They told us Dad can't stay in the hospital anymore. It’s one of those "make a choice or we make it for you" situations. Now we're stuck deciding whether to bring him back home or find him a spot in a long-term care facility that can actually handle him full-time. It's a lot.😢

None of us have the heart to just let him go, so he'll probably end up heading back home. My mom heard somewhere that you can actually rent a hospital bed—the kind where you can prop the head part up—so I wanted to see if anyone knows where we could score one of those? Is that even a thing people do?

So, Dad was actually doing a lot better this afternoon, which is huge. Honestly, I’m feeling pretty stoked about it. 🙂

About five months ago, my husband got hit with a lung cancer diagnosis. Honestly? The prognosis was pretty grim. Nobody in the family was bracing for anything more than a few months, let alone what we've been dealing with. It was brutal. Just... heavy. He was constantly struggling to breathe, choking on phlegm, but the blood was even worse. I don't even want to think about those moments. We went through the whole gauntlet—chemo, radiation, all of it. At home, we were just doing everything possible to boost his immune system and fight off the coughing fits and that constant suffocating feeling.
Yep, still kicking today. And honestly? Life’s good. Some days are absolute trash and others are alright, but you just get used to the rhythm of it. You learn how to roll with the punches.
Don't just sit there praying for things to get better. Get out there and fight. You can't predict how this whole thing is gonna shake out, but giving up? That's never an option.
Hang in there. Just stay strong and stick by your old man's side.
🙂