Posts by Sophia Sullivan68

No worries at all—please, ask me anything you want! Though, I think I’ll skip mentioning any specific names... I really don't want to get into badmouthing anyone, you know? It just doesn't sit right with me. I can only say that I encountered a certain level of rudeness and a total lack of empathy that I honestly never expected to run into. So, I decided to just walk away—because, frankly, I have enough on my plate without dealing with that kind of energy. I’d much rather head back to the places where people might not have known exactly how to handle me, perhaps, but they were at least more than kind.

Nowhere at the moment. I feel like I've already checked everywhere—honestly, I've been all over. My last stop was actually Rib, but I don't think I'll be heading back there anytime soon. Oh no!!

I really hope you get some actual answers after that MRI of your ribs.

Honestly, I’m not even sure what specific type I have. I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 20, and now I’m 29—so, I guess I’ve been on medication since 1999. Back then, I used to have these occasional generalized seizures while I was sleeping, though they were pretty rare. The last one I remember was back in 2003.
Most of the time, I just experience these brief seizures where I lose the ability to speak—they don't last very long, but they are incredibly intense and make communication so awkward. My jaw muscles twitch during those "minor" episodes. It’s more something I feel internally than something anyone would actually see. I’m completely conscious through the whole thing, too—I mean, I’m fully aware and functioning normally regardless of what I'm doing. And then there’s this other kind of seizure, which is a newer development for me 🙂—it’s like an intensified version of the small ones. It lasts longer, my head starts shaking and cramping, but everything else stays fine—my arms, my legs, I can stand up, I know exactly where I am... it usually happens when I'm at home and finally relaxing. When I'm stressed, it never seems to happen. 🙂
Well, I suppose that’s a bit of a silver lining—it’s definitely better to have it happen at home rather than out on the street or at work. That’s actually why I went looking for a new doctor, hoping to finally resolve this and find a treatment plan that actually works for me... so I can move past this. My current doctor isn't exactly the most empathetic person, if I'm being honest; I react quite poorly to the medication itself. Even if I'm not having active seizures, I just feel this constant sense of weakness and nausea.
I was on Lamictal for four years. My new doctor decided to switch things up and prescribed Topamax and Depakene Chrono, while tapering me off the Lamictal. Let me tell you, the Depakene made me go absolutely laaaaaaate—seriously, I was moody every five minutes, vomiting, tearing up... it was a total disaster (though, I suppose it could have been autosuggestion, which is always a possibility). She has stopped the Depakene now, so I'm not losing my mind anymore. I feel a little better, but I still feel incredibly weak. I guess I'll see how it goes once I'm down to just the Topamax.

How do your seizures manifest, and what kind of medication are you taking?

What does it even mean when you say you can barely stand up? I mean, a "slight strain" probably isn't what's causing that level of pain—not by a long shot. Personally, I’m dealing with both epilepsy and three separate herniated discs.
Over the last two weeks, my anti-epileptic medication has been making me feel absolutely terrible, and as for the herniated discs... well, they are what they are, and there isn't much to be done besides trying to stay active with some exercises.
Have you actually gone in for an MRI on your back yet?

I’ve also heard people dismiss this kind of thing as being "all in your head." But what does that even mean, really? Changes in your spine and having epileptic seizures aren't just "psychological" issues—they can't *just* be psychological. It seems a bit easier for people to say that rather than simply admitting, "I don't know."

Don't sweat it! If you’re feeling absolutely miserable—and from what I can tell, you really are—then just go see your doctor and tell them you need to get off this stuff. Everyone reacts to medication so differently, you know? For some people, maybe Topamax is actually the gold standard 🙂 but clearly, it isn't working for you. Seriously, go talk to them as soon as possible... there’s really no reason to keep putting yourself through this misery!

Of course, the most important thing is that you aren't having seizures. I’m still holding onto this little hope—maybe just wishful thinking, I guess—that everything I'm feeling is just a side effect from the Depakote. Hang in there, okay? I really, truly hope that exhaustion and sleepiness start to lift soon!
I think I could live with it if it didn't feel like I was constantly crying or dealing with these frequent bouts of dizziness... but man, I really wish things were better. 🙂

Oh boy, now that I’ve read through everything you all have shared, I feel like I’m going to start obsessing over symptoms even if I don't actually have them—it's funny how that works, I guess. 🙂 I’ve been on Topamax for about a week now, along with Depakote. Before this, I was on Lamictal for four years, but lately, it just wasn't cutting it anymore—so, naturally, I went looking for a new medication and a new doctor. Well, I found a new physician... and I am definitely not reacting well to this new med. It’s not even that I’m irritable, per se—it’s more like I’m just constantly moping and being miserable; I honestly don't know how people put up with me. I’m driving myself crazy, really. I get these bouts of weakness, and my legs... well, I can't exactly trust them to hold me up. It just hit me yesterday that back in 2002, they put me on Depakote as a treatment, and I barely lasted two weeks. I literally could not live with it. The second I tried to lift my head, I felt like I was going to vomit... so I rushed to my doctor to get off it immediately. Yesterday, I was digging through my old medical records and basically blamed Depakote for every single misfortune in my life. On top of all those side effects, I still deal with these frequent sensations where I suddenly can't speak—it lasts for about a minute. I'm perfectly lucid during it, mind you—I can look at a clock and everything—but when you're on a call with a customer and you fall silent for a minute... it feels like an absolute eternity!
Now I’m sitting here thinking... maybe all of this is actually from the Topamax?

What else are you taking besides Topamax?