Posts by Scott Miller7

I’ve gotta give it to Microsoft's inventory; they’re a lot like the European Union—unified in their diversity 😁

Oh, please... preventive meds actually work too...😁 I mean, it depends on whether you have kids, allergies, if you're pregnant... it’s not like a medicine cabinet is some static thing you just check once a year.🤷

Scott Miller7 said:shtefy, I haven't been following everything closely, so I might have missed it... is anyone else from your daughter’s group heading to the same school next year? And will she be one of those kids wearing a key on a lanyard, or will you be there to pick her up every day?

Personally, I wouldn't pull her out of the group just because of friends. My deciding factor would be whether she'd end up home alone too much. 🤷 If that were the case, I'd just let her go regularly, like any normal kid.

I started school at six and was actually excited about it, only to be crushed when I realized they didn't even introduce math until the second semester. 🤣

But hey, I managed to survive somehow. 😁

As for the grading system and today's curriculum—man, I have thoughts. 🤣 Maybe I'll get into that tomorrow, but I'll just say this: my daughter (who isn't even in school yet and isn't exactly a child prodigy 😁) can already explain the solar system and human anatomy to a fifth grader. She's currently hovering around a B average, mostly just getting by with letters and stuff... 😁 Honestly, how she manages to maintain a B without knowing the basics, I have no clue.

...
Honestly, after Tyler Reyes86 and silverpuma542, there isn't much left for me to add.😁

Look, we both work crazy hours; I don't think the kid can really rely on us.

Jason Ortiz5, this is exactly why I wouldn't be sending them to school any sooner than necessary.🤷

shtefy, I haven't been following everything closely, so I might have missed it... is anyone else from your daughter’s group heading to the same school next year? And will she be one of those kids wearing a key on a lanyard, or will you be there to pick her up every day?

Personally, I wouldn't pull her out of the group just because of friends. My deciding factor would be whether she'd end up home alone too much. 🤷 If that were the case, I'd just let her go regularly, like any normal kid.

I started school at six and was actually excited about it, only to be crushed when I realized they didn't even introduce math until the second semester. 🤣

But hey, I managed to survive somehow. 😁

As for the grading system and today's curriculum—man, I have thoughts. 🤣 Maybe I'll get into that tomorrow, but I'll just say this: my daughter (who isn't even in school yet and isn't exactly a child prodigy 😁) can already explain the solar system and human anatomy to a fifth grader. She's currently hovering around a B average, mostly just getting by with letters and stuff... 😁 Honestly, how she manages to maintain a B without knowing the basics, I have no clue.

Ryan Morris15 said:I find this quite difficult to wrap my head around.
I suppose by "us thirty" you mean an entire classroom, and while I might believe you if you said twenty of you were wandering the city on weekends, the idea that twenty sets of parents are all handing out beatings... well, I suspect our society isn't quite at that stage yet.

Sure, it’s much easier to just close our eyes and pretend things aren't this bad—to act like physical punishment isn't a problem and doesn't leave scars, or that spoiled kids aren't running wild through the city because their parents don't bother to discipline them.

hollowtrucker77 said:Scott Miller7, I think you can probably picture some of those scenarios in your head yourself
🙂
Look, folks, the world isn't going to suddenly turn into some utopia just because we decide to romanticize it, and unfortunately, there’s always going to be some mess or situation popping up that refuses to fit neatly into our little idealized boxes
Then you have the people who are simply impossible to reason with, and you have children who just can't grasp certain concepts—or kids you can't quite nudge away from doing something dangerous to themselves or everyone else using any standard approach
There are certain behaviors out there that just aren't acceptable, things that need to be nipped in the bud immediately, primarily for the sake of what's actually good for the child
It pains me a bit to say things that might be unpopular or that you’d rather I just kept to myself, but frankly, that doesn't change the reality of the situation

That’s why I’m asking. I’ve worked with "impossible" kids before, and I didn't hit them. I get that we're all human and nobody has nerves of steel, but I still don't see any logical reason why hitting a child is actually helpful or welcome.🤷

Carl Anderson76 said:

they aren't being offered any real alternatives, and honestly, most of them don't have a clue how to actually raise kids properly.

They totally do, though. I mean, we’re living in the 21st century—information is literally everywhere if you look for it. The thing is, people just aren't interested. They couldn't care less. It’s way easier to just lash out and start hitting someone than it is to actually sit down, read a book, or try to educate yourself.

Fair point, so how about this:

Scott Miller7 said:Glad you're having fun with it. I'm not calling you out, though. Since you started this thread, you might as well share what actually motivated you to bring it up.😁

.. I’d love to see what all those "I don't have kids, but I would never hit my own child under any circumstances" types will do when their little golden child eventually pulls the same crap after 25 rounds of explanations and lectures... Will they try a 26th explanation, or finally reach for the belt?

Long before I had kids, I insisted I'd never hit them. Everyone laughed and said I'd see about that once I actually had some. Now they've seen it, and they're basically saying, "Well, you got lucky."😁
Besides, before I became a parent, I spent time caring for two kids who most people would label as absolute nightmares. I never laid a hand on them, and you could see a positive shift in their behavior within a week. People underestimate how much consistency, honesty, positive reinforcement, and actual attention mean to a kid.

Then there's this idea that kids today are impossible—worse and more spoiled than previous generations. Even if we assume that's true, kids in most American families still get beaten, and clearly, that isn't helping anything.

The issue is that children's rights are usually misinterpreted, and they rarely come with a discussion about responsibilities. You can't have rights without obligations. Parents constantly hear that they shouldn't hit their kids, but they aren't given any real alternatives, so many end up clueless when it comes to discipline. While I think parenting should be driven by instinct and common sense, it's obvious very few people actually know how to handle it. That's why mandatory parenting classes seem like a necessity.😁

Hannah White2 said:The thing is, people treat having kids like it's just some automatic milestone or a standard accessory to marriage—not to mention all the unplanned pregnancies out there.
But listen, if you don't have solid upbringing, you don't have a healthy society, and the family is the bedrock of everything we have here.
I'm telling you, offering a maternity stipend only after someone completes a course... that's the easy fix.

hollowtrucker77 said:I’ve never been a fan of this whole "us versus them" mentality where everyone is just digging their heels in on both sides
people love to act like they’re holding the moral high ground by using these tired old cliches, you know, talking about how someone is "always beating" a kid or "never laying a hand" on them to prove they’re right
personally, I think both of those extremes miss the mark entirely
if you want my take, in maybe 95% of situations, physical discipline isn't necessary, but there’s that remaining 5% where it actually becomes relevant, simply because sometimes it’s the only way to make the rules stick
it’s perfectly fine for a child to understand they have some freedom, that they can ask questions or even try to negotiate, but they also need to realize there comes a moment where the bargaining ends and they just have to listen
plus, let’s be real, some kids actually respond well to being told "no," while others just get more defiant and start acting out specifically because they were restricted
kids aren't carbon copies of one another, and parents aren't always the sole reason behind a child's behavior—it's not always 100% on them
look, I’m not advocating for hitting kids for fun, but I am leaving the door open to the idea that physical discipline might be needed, and in those specific instances, I truly believe it serves as an extension of parental authority rather than falling into the category of violence or terror

Can someone give me an example of that 5% where hitting a kid is supposedly good? Why is it fine then, but bad other times?

silentpilot6 said:It’s honestly amusing when people attack you just for starting a discussion. It feels like they're implying that because you're bringing up a topic 25 years later, it must have left some deep, lasting scar on you. 🤣
If I start a thread to open the topic of pedophilia... does that make me one? If I start a thread about the German military in WW2, am I suddenly a Nazi? Or if I discuss old political figures from the past, am I labeled a radical? 🤣... and so on, it goes. It's absurd.

Some people just refuse to grasp that we aren't all cut from the same cloth. You can't solve every single issue through dialogue, setting examples, or bans. To be honest, I find it interesting when this thread is filled with people who don't even have children—and look, I don't have any either, but still 😁—or those who say they never want kids yet feel entitled to weigh in here. I truly wonder what all these "I don't have kids, but I'd never lay a hand on my own child" types will do when their little ones actually act out. After twenty-five explanations and clarifications, will they try a twenty-sixth explanation, or will they finally reach for a belt?

On the other hand, kids used to get disciplined physically all the time, and I certainly didn't notice the "older generations" turning into psychopaths, abusers, or broken individuals... at least not any more than today's youth.
From what I hear from educators—I know a few teachers—and parents of the current generation, things seem much worse now. Why is that? 🤷Whether physical discipline or the lack thereof played a role, I think it would be worth conducting some actual research to see which group is "worse"... the kids who occasionally face a belt, or those who are raised entirely by other methods regardless of how they behave.

Glad you're having fun with it. I'm not calling you out, though. Since you started this thread, you might as well share what actually motivated you to bring it up.😁

.. I’d love to see what all those "I don't have kids, but I would never hit my own child under any circumstances" types will do when their little golden child eventually pulls the same crap after 25 rounds of explanations and lectures... Will they try a 26th explanation, or finally reach for the belt?

Long before I had kids, I insisted I'd never hit them. Everyone laughed and said I'd see about that once I actually had some. Now they've seen it, and they're basically saying, "Well, you got lucky."😁
Besides, before I became a parent, I spent time caring for two kids who most people would label as absolute nightmares. I never laid a hand on them, and you could see a positive shift in their behavior within a week. People underestimate how much consistency, honesty, positive reinforcement, and actual attention mean to a kid.

Then there's this idea that kids today are impossible—worse and more spoiled than previous generations. Even if we assume that's true, kids in most American families still get beaten, and clearly, that isn't helping anything.

The issue is that children's rights are usually misinterpreted, and they rarely come with a discussion about responsibilities. You can't have rights without obligations. Parents constantly hear that they shouldn't hit their kids, but they aren't given any real alternatives, so many end up clueless when it comes to discipline. While I think parenting should be driven by instinct and common sense, it's obvious very few people actually know how to handle it. That's why mandatory parenting classes seem like a necessity.😁

Quote : Legion

silentpilot6 said:Let’s clear one thing up first: I’m not a parent, so I can’t speak from "that side" of the fence, but what are your thoughts on occasional physical discipline for children?
Of course, we are talking about "occasional" and completely rational discipline... I’m not talking about any kind of beating or hitting someone for no reason, nor is it about being excessive over every little thing. Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with a kid getting a belt when they truly mess up big time.

Here is an example from my own life... I think I was probably hit maybe three times in my entire life, and it was always the "classic method" 😁 a belt to the backside... the worst it ever got was when I nearly burned the house down... and let me tell you, the punishment that followed 😉 really stuck with me, and it never even crossed my mind to play with fire near the house again 😁.

So, what do you all think? I know it’s become incredibly trendy lately to shout from the rooftops against any form of physical discipline, arguing that everything can be explained through conversation and setting examples (good luck with 😵 )—but has that approach actually led us to today's "youth" generations? They are undeniably more malicious 😁, cocky, and disrespectful than previous ones... you name it.
I remember my elementary school teachers used to pull my hair when I caused trouble, whereas today's teachers aren't even allowed to raise their voices at kids... maybe that's why we actually held them in respect, rather than pushing them toward certain behaviors I hear kids are getting into these days...

At the end of the day, most of us have probably been disciplined at least once for doing something stupid, so did that make us worse people?

One more thing—people are going to jump on me for this—but there isn't much difference between raising kids and training dogs :d. I might be exaggerating a bit, but hear me out.
Six years ago, I got a small puppy 😍... and I spent time reading those "modern" dog training books (I had two dogs before him) that claim you should never hit a dog or rub its nose in its accidents and things like that.
Fine... for a few months, I tried raising him using just a raised voice or ignoring him, as the books suggest. Results: zero. After I finally rubbed his nose in his mess four or five times, used some newspapers, and sent him outside, he stopped doing it in the house altogether...

Yeah, clearly you've got a real grip on this since you keep starting threads about it.

Quote : Legion

silentpilot6 said:If a kid tried to light a fire on the balcony and ended up setting the shutters ablaze, and you barely managed to stop the whole house from going up in flames, what would you have done?
I would have sat him down and said, "Look at what you've done, you little troublemaker..." Well, because I did that, I ended up getting a beating and learned some hard lessons. That was that. 😁

So those are the only "parenting techniques" you know?

Quote : Legion

silentpilot6 Asks: Here’s another one: the second time I got the belt was when my old man finally snapped after a string of warnings and punishments. 😁 Got caught stealing cigarettes again back when I was in second or third grade... turns out once I got my belt on, I finally quit smoking. 🤣 Somewhere around the ten-year mark.

Nice. He gave you a belt for trying to act just like him. Incredible psychology there. 🙏

Quote : Legion

silentpilot6 said:No two children are exactly alike, of course... what applies to one kid might not apply to Ivanna, and vice versa... I won't get too bogged down in deep philosophy here.
I wasn't exactly a terror or a rebellious child, but I certainly wasn't a saint either 😉 😁... My parents would talk things through with me, try to set an example, or ground me by taking away my phone or keeping me from seeing friends. Sometimes those lessons stuck, and sometimes they didn't, but there were a few specific times when a belt was used that actually made me stop what I was doing...
I remember being a kid and thinking during one of those marathon 😁 lectures, "Man, just give me a spanking and let's be done with it, rather than sitting here listening to this sermon." 😁
I agree that physical discipline should always be the absolute last resort, but I also don't think it should be completely ruled out for everyone in every single situation. To recap... for three or four things where I got disciplined physically, I stopped immediately—but for other stuff, different methods of guidance were what actually worked. It is what it is. 🤷

Clearly your parents didn't use the truly effective methods. 🤷

As for the kids themselves—sure, we’re all individuals, but our basic needs are the same. Some things are universal. You wouldn't give one kid candy and deny another just because it only harms one of them. 😁

redharbor9 said:But men just can't spot fast female faces..

Women are the bigger beasts😁

James Bailey said:Haha, it seems we’ve stumbled right into a debate about this 😁

To me, it all feels quite logical; I suppose they instinctively recognize potential partners to carry on the species. Meanwhile, for those of us, like Alex Patel96, whose "mechanism" doesn't seem to "function" quite the same way, I think we might actually spot girls more quickly—I could probably say that pretty confidently myself, since I've tested that theory in various ways over the years—perhaps because we find them more attractive, or maybe just because we feel a bit more similar to them.

Here’s my take on that: 🤷

Hannah White2 said:Look, I was talking about the bias you see during divorce proceedings—that's the stuff divorced guys are always venting about. When I say "society," I’m talking about the actual institutions, like the courts and everything.
You’ve got this guy working himself to the bone, basically running himself ragged, while the woman is out hitting up fancy restaurants with her side piece. And then, predictably, the kid ends up with the mother, even though she’s clearly been all over the place emotionally.
But hey, I’m not trying to scare off women who are actually thinking seriously about having kids and the massive weight of responsibility that comes with it.
HAVING KIDS IS A HUGE COMMITMENT. Don't jump into it unless you're ready for the messy parts, the good and the bad... because if you aren't, you're essentially hurting everyone in the community, regardless of whether you're a man or a woman. This isn't some thing you can just quit when things get difficult.

Fair enough, total misunderstanding on my part. 🙂

Luckily, those old perspectives are dying out. In theory, they’re already gone, and in practice, things are finally catching up. You don't see NOAA-style mandates saying custody is granted to the mother or father anymore; instead, it's phrased as the child will reside with... while both parents retain joint custody. The goal now is to split everything as equally as possible, provided neither parent is abusive or unfit. It’s been understood for a long time that kids need both parents to grow up healthy, and both roles are equally vital.

Hannah White2 said:Look, we definitely shouldn't just brush off the positive impact feminism has had as a movement—honestly, you have to watch out for those tired old clichés, though I’ll admit my own take sits right on that fine line.

It sucks being misunderstood, really. I’m one of those guys who looks people straight in the eye—character is everything to me when I'm sizing someone up—but you can't just ignore raw instinct and pretend we're all in total control of our gut reactions. Like, for example, I haven't even looked at a woman's body in five years, but I did spend some time training myself to stay disciplined.

And before anyone jumps down my throat, I’m not saying women are biologically hardwired just to give birth. Quite the opposite, actually; I'm against any kind of limiting labels, regardless of what neurological studies might say. But let's be real—society as a whole still acts like the mother is the primary caregiver, and you don't have to ask a single divorced guy in the States to know that's the vibe. It’s basically one of those rare areas where we face actual discrimination, though, granted, it’s usually justified if you look at the exceptions.

😬 Sure, go ahead and ask one. You'll see how desperately they fight those stereotypes.

Dana Stewart6 said:jongerica, cherryblossomgirl—thank you both so much for the kind words and the positive energy you've brought to these threads! It’s such a relief to realize... I'm definitely not the only one feeling a bit intimidated by the whole idea. Honestly, it makes me feel so much better knowing I'm not alone. Every time I bring this up with other women, they just dismiss me! They tell me, "What are you waiting for? Having kids is perfectly normal, don't be silly, everyone goes through it."
I truly believe this anxiety stems from a conversation I had with an older woman I used to work with. She has two children, and she always insisted that I should enjoy my freedom while I still have it. Her logic was that once kids arrive, your entire life flips upside down and you'll spend the rest of your days worrying and never finding peace again. Those words just keep echoing in my head...

It’s funny how much people like that get under my skin—those who assume their personal struggles apply to the entire world and think they're being helpful by sharing advice from their own miserable little bubble. It’s like women in bad marriages telling everyone not to marry, or people who were cheated on insisting that everyone cheats. It just goes on and on...

Sure, raising a child isn't easy, but calling it a "sacrifice" is pretty much irrelevant if you actually want kids. The joy is incomparable to anything else. You rarely see that kind of happiness from people who jump into parenthood just because they feel like they have to or because everyone else is doing it. Naturally, they end up seeing their kids as a burden or a nuisance. It’s especially hard for them because deep down they know they aren't actually interested in their kids, so they try to overcompensate with excessive hovering.

Anyone can prepare for early mornings, midnight feedings, constant cooking, or missing out on a concert or a night out. But there is no way to prepare for, or even describe, the sheer amount of happiness, fulfillment, and love that hits you when you have a child. And that "infatuation" doesn't fade as they grow up; if anything, it gets stronger. 😍