Posts by Olivia Diaz34

Thank you all so much... when I first started typing this all out, I honestly didn't expect to find this much support here—thank you, truly! =)
So, I actually took some initiative... I handed my mom her Disney card and told her to just destroy it and get it away from me... and she actually did it!
As for me, I'm hanging in there... It’s been incredibly tough, but I'm making progress—one tiny step at a time. Day by day, I'm eating less, and the vomiting is starting to subside... I also met a guy; I'm not in love with him yet (it's hard to fall for someone when you feel like this, you know?), but he's okay... anyway, that's not really the point right now... I've been spending time with him, going to belly dance classes (which I've been doing for a year now), hiking, cycling, and studying... I'm trying my best to stop obsessing over food... I'm working hard, even if it feels like two steps forward, one step back... then two steps forward and one back again...

Thanks again everyone, especially my dear Olivia Diaz34... =) A huge, heartfelt thank you to you!!!!!!!

I actually went out and got myself a dog, thinking it might help, but honestly? It hasn't done a thing—it’s not taking my mind off this at all...=(

My parents have pretty much run out of patience with all of this, though honestly, who could blame them? I’m actually really angry at myself. I try so hard—I really do—but nothing seems to stick. Physically, I can still push through, even when it feels impossible, but mentally? I’m just broken. It’s like I starved myself for so long that now there’s no end in sight, and then I end up forcing myself to purge—which is just the bulimia talking.

Thank you. I’ll give the neighborhood walks a shot. I know hitting 50 pounds is going to be an uphill battle, but it’s truly what I want... I know I’m sick, I’m fully aware of that, but I can’t help feeling like I’m just a lost cause. My body image is completely distorted; I see myself as being so much heavier than I am. Everyone tells me I'm not, but that's just how I see myself.

Does anyone have any advice or maybe a meal plan that helps with actually eating without overdoing it, while still managing to lose some weight? Anything at all would be a massive help...

Thanks so much, everyone! =)

I am at my breaking point... I really am, and I’m honestly just desperate for some kind of help...
Look, my weight isn't actually the main issue—I’m 15, about 5'8", and weigh around 135 lbs... I guess I might be a little on the heavier side, but nothing extreme... The real nightmare is something else entirely... A year ago, I was hospitalized for anorexia—back then, I was barely 88 lbs. Ever since I got discharged, I haven't been able to stop bingeing. It's like I can't turn it off. I hit 155 lbs at one point, but I managed to pull myself together and get disciplined for a while, though it was an absolute struggle... But now? Now it’s even harder. I just can't stop myself—the second I get near food, I just lose control and gorge myself endlessly. Please, someone, help me!!!!

I just want to feel thin again. I want to get back down to maybe 110 lbs as soon as possible because I feel terrible. I'm depressed, and I am honestly terrified...

Please, if anyone has any advice, I'm begging you!!!!