Posts by Sam Murphy33

She’s gone... thank you all for everything... she didn't put up a fight, she just gave in...

quietraven0 said:Sam Murphy33,
Both you and your mother are navigating an incredibly heavy season right now. I truly get it. I know you’re spiraling a bit, wondering how on earth you’re going to pull through all of this, but believe me when I say you will. You have the strength because you love her, plain and simple.
Try stepping away for just half an hour—maybe head down to the local Starbucks or just wander around the neighborhood for a quick stroll. Take a breather and try to find some center, because honestly, the best thing you can offer her is your own composure. If you can come back with a little bit of light in your eyes, things will feel a lot less heavy for both of you.

None of us really know how many days we have left, whether we're facing health issues or not, so we ought to make an effort to find a little positivity in the small things; those are the moments that eventually turn into precious memories. We’ll be glad we didn't spend our final shared chapters drowning in nothing but anxiety, gravity, and gloom.

I realize laughter feels impossible right now, but give it a shot; you'll see it lifts her spirits too. She loves you, and seeing you okay is what she wants most. Even if they don't say it out loud, most patients worry about being a burden, and that guilt—on top of the illness itself—is often why they slip into depression. Don't let that take hold. Try to wipe that look of constant worry off your face; I know it's easier said than done, but stay strong. And when it all gets to be too much, come back here and vent. We're all walking similar paths, so we have to be there for one another, right?

Thank you so much for saying that.

I feel the need to write something again... When I first found out my mom had cancer, I came here because I was in total shock and just didn't know how to act or how other people handle this kind of news.
Two months have passed since then, and here is the reality: before the diagnosis and surgery, Mom was just a normal woman dealing with some digestive issues, but she lived her life fully. Now, after the surgery—they couldn't remove the tumor, so she’s using an ostomy bag and we're waiting on chemo—she’s a completely different person. She has just totally surrendered to the illness.
Her wound has healed, but she’s eating less, suffers from frequent burping and nausea, and her strength is gone.
I’ve done everything within my power. I sourced some supplements from a specialist who works with cancer patients (shark cartilage-based treatments), I reached out to Nancy Pelosi, a bioenergy healer, and I brought in a nutritionist to manage her diet. The nutritionist is actually staying with us right now; my kids and husband are away at the beach, and honestly, I have no idea how things are going to work once they get back and school starts up again. I’m on vacation now, but I can't help but wonder how I'll manage once I'm back at work...
Everything I’ve tried alongside the doctors' prescribed medications—she initially accepted them, but now she's refusing. Mostly, she just lies there. She doesn't even want to go outside anymore, even though she can still walk around the house; I suppose her muscles have already started to atrophy. It’s devastating; I can't believe she could give up like this. It doesn't seem possible that the disease progressed this quickly. The surgeon mentioned that the tumor has actually been there for six years, so it wasn't some sudden, aggressive surge.
It’s just hard, and I don't know how to cope with it all. I’m trying to do everything I can. The home health nurses and our primary doctor are also trying to lift her spirits through both conversation and medication, but it isn't working. To be fair, her bloodwork isn't great, though it isn't quite as dire as it feels. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for all the fighters out there who refuse to give up, because I truly believe every single day of life is a GIFT from God, and we should live it as beautifully as we can.

Does anyone happen to have a copy of Dr. Braus's diet, or does anyone know where I might be able to track it down?

I really appreciate you saying that; your words truly mean a lot to me...

cosmicviper76 said:My dad had surgery for colon cancer a year ago, and he had quite a few metastases in his liver.
He went through 12 cycles of chemo and he’s doing well... he eats, drives his car, does a bit of work, and just lives his life normally.
During those 12 rounds of chemo, nothing changed in his liver—it didn't spread further, and it didn't shrink either; everything stayed exactly the same as it was a year ago.
The doctors gave him prognoses that suggested he wouldn't even be alive today, so I wouldn't be telling you that he's out there driving around if it wasn't true.
I always hold onto the idea that only God decides when the candle goes out.
Hang in there.
If there's any way I can help, I'm here.
kisses

Oh man, thank you so much for responding. The surgery happened, but they weren't able to get the whole tumor out since it had already spread to the small intestine... You've actually given me a little bit of hope. She came to the ward today and she's on an IV right now; she seems pretty sedated, but I spent almost three hours with her and I'll be heading back tonight. Thank you so much once again.

Oh, casualrider21, my poor dear... this is just so heartbreaking..
I spent the entire morning at the hospital today because Mom had surgery. It’s colon cancer with several metastases in the liver. She’s been fitted with a stoma bag—the primary tumor is out, but what about those metastases? Can they actually be wiped out with radiation and chemotherapy? Does anyone here have any experience with this?

Nancy Hernandez43 said:You’ll feel a little better once you realize this is just part of life—that fighting through each day means something more for her, for you, and for everyone in your family.

The initial shock is the absolute worst. I remember sitting with my mom, having these conversations that felt like we were watching a play about to begin, feeling like we had to make up for lost time. Even now, two years and a few months later, I wake up every single morning terrified of whether she’s doing okay, and every night I wonder if she’s sleeping soundly. The hardest part is being asked, "Is she doing better now?" because there really isn't an answer. It's always the same—whether it was before she got sick or during this whole fight, they don't feel any real changes just because you're doing everything in your power. The only shifts I notice are a bit of restlessness, a certain dullness, maybe a sense of being checked out, but honestly, I noticed all those same things after her first round of chemo too.

Anyway, try to stay strong. And if you already feel like you're struggling more than she is, maybe throw yourself into even more work or responsibilities, just so you aren't stuck spinning those negative thoughts in your head that only feed the fear.

It's Sunday, and I assume you dropped her off at the hospital after a nice weekend together! Once the surgery is over and you actually see her starting to recover, things will feel lighter. Hang in there!

Yeah, I dropped her off... Thank you so much, and thanks to everyone else too... we had a lovely day together. I know this is just part of life, but God, it's hard.

Nancy Hernandez43 said:No matter how hard this hits you, stay strong and keep the faith. Find that strength within yourself—not just for you, but for her—so that instead of showing her tears, you can offer her a smile.

When you’re staring down a sickness like this, the only thing that makes the process of coming to terms with it any easier is accepting that this is simply one of life's heavy chapters.

For me, it feels just as heavy now, pretending everything is fine, as it did the very first moment I found out what my mother was facing. Sometimes, without even realizing it, I find myself calling out to her just to hear her voice, just to confirm she's still "there."

Please let us know how the surgery goes! Hang in there!

Thank you... she's home today. She'll be going in for surgery soon... she has to go back on Sunday since they let her come home for the weekend. I feel like I'm at the absolute end of my rope; I'm mentally exhausted and can barely keep myself upright, even though I'm still pushing through all the daily chores. She actually seems to be doing better than I am. Even though I've read countless books about the importance of maintaining a positive mindset, I can't seem to apply any of it right now, much as I know I should... maybe I'll feel better eventually, but right now, all I feel is fear and uncertainty...

Mom is heading into the hospital tomorrow... thank you all for the replies... I'm going to be there to support her... this is hitting me really hard.

Angela Wright said:Because this is such an incredibly heavy chapter for everyone involved—not just the patients, but their families and those closest to them—and because our society often fails to provide the psychological support we actually need, I decided to start this forum. Having been caught in the middle of this storm myself, I wanted to create a space where those of us navigating these waters can offer one another genuine advice and steady support.

Please leave a post here; I promise I will always be around to reply, offer some guidance, or simply stand by those of you who are struggling, perhaps even more deeply than the person fighting the illness directly.

Personally, I’ve walked through hell and I’m still walking through it, and I truly believe no one should have to face this kind of darkness alone.

Sending big hugs to everyone.

I am in complete shock. My mom's initial tests, markers, and CT scans all point toward suspected colon cancer with metastasis to the liver. She’s heading into the hospital this Wednesday, and from what I’ve gathered online, it looks like it might be Stage 4. She was doing fine otherwise, just dealing with some minor digestive issues and hemorrhoids. I honestly don't know how to process any of this. Please, if you can, tell me what to do and how I should act around her. This is just devastating.