4 posts shown.
My mother passed away just a few days ago. It was all just... devastating. The pain—we couldn't even manage to control it properly with the patches—the hallucinations, the incoherent rambling... her body was literally wasting away to the point where she felt like nothing more than skin and bone. I’m not exaggerating; I don't think she weighed more than 65 or 70 pounds at the end. Honestly, looking back, even the most extreme cases of anorexia you see online looked healthy compared to this... 😢 It’s going to be so hard to move past it, that awful stretch right before the end. I feel like I could write a whole book about it; there was just so much happening in such a short amount of time. I think I'll need quite a while to just "process" everything and find some peace. Our lives have completely flipped upside down. It’s just been the three of us kids and my dad, who, frankly, has never even washed two dirty dishes in his life...
I suppose this should probably be moved to the "other" thread meant for stories like this...
Anyway, I’ve been thinking that I’d really like to get involved with the Association's work, but I’m not sure if it makes sense. You mentioned needing activists rather than just "passive" supporters, and since I’ve only just turned eighteen 🙄, I’m not exactly an extrovert (not really 😁 at all), and we haven't actually had any specific bad experiences with the healthcare system that would give me a reason to rally. I guess I don't know what else I could contribute? On the other hand, being from New York City might be an advantage.
How does one even get started? Do I sign up through
www.zanovidan.hr, and then what happens after that?
Kate Reed63 said:honey... I've been right where you are. My own mother (she was 52) had thyroid cancer, and she passed away about six months ago... all I can tell you is this: just let the guests go, forget about cooking, and just be with her while you still can. Talk to her, cherish every single second, because unfortunately, it feels like the end is near. Try to make things as easy as possible for her... I don't mean to scare you, but my mom was in so much pain at the end... hang in there and stay strong!!!
There isn't much talking or enjoying left to do. 😢 For quite some time now, she’s mostly just sleeping, and during these last few days when she is awake, she just hallucinates. She doesn't always recognize people, she talks incoherently, and things like that. I think we are close to the end. 😢
Grace Stewart6 said:Dear Max,
you really are far too young to be going through what you're dealing with right now. My dad passed away when he was 72, and even then, it felt way too soon for me.
I have to say, I truly admire how you’re still looking after guests who come by the house despite everything else. I don't quite understand why people would actually expect you to be prepping lunches and baking treats in a situation like this. I mean, surely being there for your mom is more important than tending to visitors.
You really have my respect for your maturity and your strength.
Good luck, and hang in there.
Thank you for those kind words. 🙂
Well, honestly, it's mostly just Mom who expects us to prepare things for guests, so I feel terrible about letting her down. She gets upset over it, and I really want to avoid that at all costs—not that I blame her, of course; she's hurting, and I suppose everything just feels overwhelming to her right now.
Hi everyone. I’ve been following this thread quietly for months now, just reading and absorbing everything, but I’m finally reaching out because things have become incredibly heavy lately and I don't really know who else to turn to...
My mom has pancreatic cancer. It's spread to her liver, her stomach, and I think her intestines too. She’s been losing weight and struggling to eat for a while, but these last few weeks have been truly devastating. Right now, she’s on pain patches—I think it’s Fentanyl or something similar—but the pain is constant. She spends almost the entire day just lying there and sleeping. We’ll be talking to her, and then a second later, she’s drifting off again. She can move, but only just enough to sit up for a few minutes before needing help. We have to support her just to get her to the bathroom. Her appetite is practically gone; she eats almost nothing. She lost a significant amount of weight since the diagnosis, but now... it's just heartbreaking. She's down to skin and bones. There isn't even any weight left to lose. Just two weeks ago, she could still get up and chat with us, but now, getting up at all is a struggle, and even talking feels like too much effort for her...
I’ve done a lot of research, so I think I know what we’re facing, but knowing doesn't make it any easier... I’m only 18, and I have two younger brothers. My mom hasn't even hit 40 yet. 😢 We’re all way too young for this, aren't we?
I guess I just don't know how much longer this phase will last. Is there any chance it stays like this for just a few more weeks?
It’s exhausting, both mentally and physically... This awful disease... we always thought it would be okay. We were so optimistic, maybe even naive. Since she was young and it was caught relatively early, and things were stable for a couple of years after the initial diagnosis, you start to think, "Maybe it won't hit us this hard," and then suddenly, everything is spiraling downward. To make matters worse, I've ended up taking over everything—all the cleaning, the cooking (which I'm honestly not great at, I know, it's nothing to brag about, but I'm trying...), and our house is massive. It's in complete disarray right now and I feel like I can't stay on top of it. On top of that, people are constantly coming by. I understand they want to see Mom, but it's such an overwhelming pressure on those of us living here... we're constantly preparing lunches, coffee, snacks for visitors, and then cleaning up the dishes afterward... it feels like I'm working shifts at a restaurant.
Anyway, that’s just where things stand with me. I've reached my breaking point today, but I think I can head back to work now without feeling quite so on edge. I really hope that for the rest of you here, things are going okay and that you're seeing some improvement. 🙂