Angela Wright said:I went through the exact same thing with my mom—but in our case, it was a glioblastoma where the survival odds were basically zero whether she did chemo or not. She just didn't want to spend whatever time she had left suffering, so she opted for alternative treatments instead. (Though, once the cancer came back, she did decide to go with chemo and radiation.) As much as it killed me to accept her choice, I had to force myself to respect it. It’s her life, period. She was completely lucid when she made that call.
My advice? If your mom is still sharp as a tack and the prognosis isn't totally hopeless—meaning there actually *is* a chance at recovery—try talking to her again. But listen—do it constructively. No bitterness, no pushing. Just lay out the facts and ask things like, "Do you think it might be smarter to..." or "What are your thoughts on..." That way, you're giving her the space to make her own calls.
Whatever she decides, you’ve gotta roll with it. There's no other way. It's a basic human right to choose for yourself—honestly, if we were in her shoes, most of us would probably make the exact same choice.
Back then, I actually thought my mom was being a coward because she always had a bit of a sensitive, fearful streak. But looking back now? Man, I see how much strength it took to make that decision. I was the selfish one—I felt this desperate need to "save" her just so SHE could be there for ME during my own crises, to meet MY kids, to see MY husband, to stay in MY life. She knew all that, and honestly, that's why I made it even harder for her to decide. My mom loves me endlessly, and I bet yours feels the same about you.
Respect her choice! I know it's incredibly brutal, but I think that's what defines us. It's what makes us mature compared to people who never have to deal with the sheer weight and bitterness of watching someone they love make a life-altering call. It was the biggest, toughest lesson my mom ever taught me about life.
Sending you all the strength in the world to handle whatever path she chooses.😳
p.s. If she does end up going back to chemo, check out the forums—we've talked a ton about supplements that help cut down the side effects. When my mom started chemo, she powered through it using Native propolis and Monk fruit. That might give you some solid leverage! Let her read some testimonials from people in the same boat over at www.healthline.com.
Thanks, Ivancic.
I'll try that (for the millionth time)... I'll also try to talk her into going to the Mayo Clinic for a consultation, if I can convince her... Does anyone know if it's hard to get an appointment there? We're in a bit of a rush since it's already been over 30 days since her first round of chemo.
I think the max break is usually 6 weeks.
We tried the Monk fruit stuff; she didn't really have nausea until she got close to the next round of chemo. The Native propolis spiked her blood pressure too much, though, and since she has heart issues, we're staying away from that.
Is there anything else to replace Reglan? She says it slows her digestion way too much, and Zofran just shuts everything down...
Does anyone know of any other clinics? Everything I find online only takes appointments for a few hours a week, and between cooking, cleaning, work, and hospital runs, I need something more flexible.