Posts by wanderingranger3

Hannah Thomas28 said:It’s just so heavy... I’ve been reading through your posts for a while now, almost feeling like a silent observer, nourishing my spirit with your beautiful news while grieving alongside you over the bad.
My mother’s pancreatic cancer metastasized to her liver after just two months... We were absolutely shell-shocked when they told us after her surgery that she might not even make it through the day, because they had to "lose" her on the operating table three times. I can't even describe how much I cried back then! I truly thought I wouldn't see her again, let alone hold her. But we made it through that. She’s doing well and looks wonderful. So how can she possibly have cancer?!!!!!
She knows about the cancer, but she doesn't know about the metastasis, nor does she understand those terrifying medical prognoses. She isn't undergoing chemotherapy or radiation, since the doctors say it won't help her.
It is so difficult to watch someone who still has energy, who looks healthy, shows no symptoms or pain... She’s even hungry.
I held onto hope, but I feel it slipping away. I'm just surrendering to it all. Today, I am feeling depressed. But this isn't who I really am!
She takes so many things. B17, Reishi, colloidal silver, apricot kernels, Noni syrup, nettle... I’m even considering looking into energy healers. I honestly don't know anymore.
We had finally managed to find some sense of stability—thinking that since there is cancer, one can still live with it, especially since there are no metastases and everything else looks clear. And then, out of nowhere, yesterday was a complete disaster.
"It's not good," the doctor says...
And yet, I have to pretend to be cheerful and upbeat, when what I really want to do is run into her arms and scream, "Mom, please help me." Instead, she’s the one trying to help me!!!
I have entered the dark chambers of my own temple, where tears and fears become my demons,
and sometimes I flee to the rooms of my childhood, because those demons can't follow me there...

What can I even say? I’ve always told people that before they say something foolish to their loved ones, before they fight or insult them, they should stop and think—knowing that a day will come when they'll be begging to turn back the clock, wishing they hadn't said certain things or perhaps wishing they had said what needed to be said. Perhaps I need to think that way too... As if time could be reversed. Just a little more time.

I feel like a small sailboat on the open ocean being battered by winds from every direction, and I simply don't know how to handle the sails; the waves strike me from all sides, spinning me in circles... God, please help me set my sails and catch my wind.

My name is sorrow.

I know how hard this is for you... Every single day is a battle, but miracles do happen. Have faith, and if it isn't meant to be, your angel will be waiting for you in heaven.

slyseal28 said:How could a benign tumor ever cause metastases?

You mentioned the PET/CT came back clear, which feels so strange... what exactly was the diagnosis they gave you?

I think there might have been a misunderstanding; I was simply wondering if it's actually possible for a benign tumor to trigger edema?
The doctors suggested that the spot on the brain was a metastasis, which sent us on a frantic search for a primary tumor, yet we couldn't find anything at all—every single test result has been absolutely perfect.
He went to Denver this morning for a PET/CT, and the results were wonderful; everything looks clear, and that area in the brain isn't showing any activity anymore.
I find myself questioning everything because this feels like such a miracle!
Part of me is constantly anxious that they'll eventually admit they made a mistake.
If that was even a metastasis to begin with, where did it come from?
There was no biopsy performed since they didn't perform surgery, so I am just holding onto the hope that it was truly a benign tumor...

Amy Hayes28 said:Keep lighting those candles and keep thanking God!
I wonder if good deeds truly create an eden? Perhaps they do, since the underlying principle feels much the same!
Did I understand correctly that the metastasis has vanished??
My father is battling something malignant; the primary tumor was on his kidney, which they removed, though perhaps it was a bit too late!
Wishing you all nothing but the best🙂 it is such a relief to hear something positive amidst this sea of darkness..

The metastasis is actually still there, but the results suggest it isn't doing anything anymore—how can one even put that into words? It’s inactive, essentially dead. If there was any doubt at all about whether it was a metastasis, Paladino and Heinrich certainly didn't hesitate; they were sure of it. We didn't have a biopsy during the Gamma Knife procedure, after all. Or perhaps doctors simply try to protect themselves by anticipating the worst-case scenario before it even happens.
I honestly don't know what to think anymore🤷

Hello everyone!
About four weeks ago, my father-in-law was told he had a brain metastasis accompanied by significant edema. His entire left side had become somewhat paralyzed, given that the issue was located on his right side. We reached out to the top specialists, and they explained that traditional surgery wasn't an option because the risk of permanent paralysis on his left side was too high; instead, they decided to essentially "kill" the metastasis using Gamma Knife treatment.
Leading up to the procedure, we were warned that there would be a short-term decline, and honestly, he felt terrible even before the surgery itself—he lost the ability to speak, eat, use the restroom, or walk at all.
The most unsettling part of this whole ordeal was that they couldn't find the primary tumor. You see, my father-in-law is a bit of a hypochondriac with plenty of resources, so he undergoes full checkups twice a year and gets MRIs from time to time, and everything has always come back perfectly clear. When the doctor reviewed his medical history, he was absolutely stunned.

Since the procedure, he has been taking dexamethasone, and remarkably, there hasn't been any decline; he looks healthy, hasn't lost weight, and his appetite is excellent.

We couldn't rest easy, so we took him to Denver for a PET/CT scan, hoping that if anything was hiding somewhere, they might finally locate it.
The results came back this morning, and they were perfect. Nothing was found anywhere. I am still in shock. My father-in-law has become like a father to me over the years.
I believe in miracles, and I have been lighting candles to St. Anthony every single day, but I can't help but wonder—where did that edema in his brain come from? Can benign tumors cause that kind of swelling?
What are your thoughts on this? Has anyone else gone through something similar?