Posts by stormyfalcon68

ruggedfox11 said:I have to say, I truly admire everyone who can actually handle dealing with such a heavy diagnosis... I’m trying my best to "stay strong," but honestly, it’s just not working for me; I feel like I’m literally falling apart; the crying is happening way more often now, my head is constantly spinning with these horrific death scenarios, the insomnia, the pure terror... I even find myself wondering if it would've been better for my husband if he’d stayed with his ex—she's living in Germany now—maybe they'd both be better off and the medical care would be easier there too... This is all just so terrifying, I jump at every single groan he makes, and since he’s naturally high-strung, I used to just tune out his outbursts, but now everything just gets under my skin, it’s just... I wish I could just pack up and run away so I wouldn't have to witness all this agony he's going through
I know I sound awful, I really do, but it’s just how I’m feeling right now

Everything you’re feeling right now—the fear, the panic, the sheer dread—it is totally normal. It's all still so raw, and that fear is what really paralyzes you...
When my Dad first got his diagnosis, I was basically breaking down on a daily basis, like multiple times a day, just constant insomnia, crying, and total hysteria, until eventually I just had to pull myself together somehow to keep my own sanity and stay sane for the rest of the family...
And look, I know I wasn't exactly the pillar of support he needed in that state either, and I couldn't let myself feel guilty or take away his hope and will to fight by just giving up on him

You’ve really got to find some kind of balance and grab onto anything that makes the situation a little easier to bear, so if that means venting here, then let it be venting here...
You guys still have lives to live!
Even the healthiest person on the planet doesn't know how much time they have left or what kind of struggles lie ahead, because in medicine, two plus two definitely doesn't always equal four...
Panicking like this won't help him, and it certainly won't help you...
The situation is what it is; you can't turn back the clock or just erase the illness with an eraser, but instead, you try to do everything within your power to squeeze out one more day, make the absolute most of it, focus on the day-to-day life, and create these little rituals that just keep you all held together...
For example, Dad and I used to watch *Criminal Minds* together every single day, sometimes without saying a word, but it was our time, and it brought us even closer together... just a silly little ritual that meant the world to us
And honestly, your mental state plays such a huge role in how the illness progresses, so arm yourselves with everything you've got—strength, energy, positivity—against this beast, because it is such a massive battle...
We don't get to choose how or when we pass away, but we do get to choose how we spend the time we have left before then

Rachel Williams said:I'm signing on to every single word of that... if I had the chance to do it all over again, I’d be reaching out to some family support group immediately, and honestly, I think sooner or later I'll end up looking into some kind of psychotherapy too.
In the middle of that emotional whirlwind, my health just went straight down the drain along with everything else, and even now that things have finally started to settle down, I'm still dealing with the fallout, knowing some of it might stick with me forever...

It feels so much like what I went through
Looking back now that I know better, I would absolutely seek out some kind of help right away

Emily Martinez61 said:I'm getting ready to start chemo and I really need some quick advice here... does anyone know if there's actually any difference between the beta glucan from Eurovita in Canada versus the Yasenka stuff from Vukovar, or is it basically the same thing? Also, what else should I be taking before my chemo sessions to make them a little easier to handle? I heard there are things you can take for the nausea too...
Thanks for the help!

So, my Dad was given beta glucan during his chemo along with an anti-nausea med—either Kytril or Reglan—and it worked wonders for him! He didn't have any huge side effects, just a bit of light nausea, but nothing involving vomiting, mostly just around the second day after chemo
Basically, doctors use antiemetics that they usually recommend taking right before you go in for the chemo...
Wishing you all the best!

ruggedfox11 said:They told me the exact same thing. Honestly, just getting through it is the hardest part...

When Dad was first diagnosed with cancer, man, I really struggled to wrap my head around it, just hitting my head against a wall trying to find answers, advice, or some kind of way out...
But as time went on, it finally clicked for me how many things are just totally out of our hands, and how incredibly helpless and small you feel caught in that whirlwind of illness and everything else it drags along with it, especially when you realize you can't control a single thing about the situation...
Just taking it day by day is what kept me sane, really, where every good day was a chance to make the most of life, and on those awful days, we were all just counting down the minutes until they were over...
Looking back on it all, I’d tell anyone dealing with a diagnosis—whether it's the patient or the family—that finding some kind of psychological support, whatever works for you personally, is so worth it...

ruggedfox11 said:Honestly, I feel so much better the second I realize I'm not alone and everyone else is going through the exact same thing. All this stuff about how the illness hits you, how you can't control the situation or how things progress, oh man, it's just overwhelming...

You really just have to embrace the reality of it all as best you can and basically just take it one single day at a time
And honestly, that’s hands down the smartest advice anyone has ever given me...

So, ruggedfox11, my Dad actually had these little tremors in his hands and feet a few days after chemo, plus he lost some sensation, especially in his feet, but everything would just settle back to normal after a couple of days... I honestly think that kind of thing is just a totally normal side effect from the chemo

It’s seriously awesome that they have an appetite and are putting on some weight, so just take it slow and try to handle things one day at a time, being super patient through it all...

I haven't really posted much here, but I have honestly read every single one of your posts... I was just searching for some hope, a little comfort, or maybe even just a way forward, soaking up all your experiences and wisdom to help me figure out how to live with this illness, so I just wanted to say a massive THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for having the strength to share what you've been through!
My Dad passed away on Sunday after a grueling 12-hour battle with a pulmonary embolism.
Even though we knew the outcome from the very first day he was diagnosed, everything still happened so incredibly fast and sudden... It’s going to take quite a while to pick up all the pieces left behind.
I'm wishing you all so much strength and courage, and please, don't ever let anyone steal your hope away...

Just wanted to give you guys a quick heads-up on how things are moving along...
The latest CT scan wasn't great news at all, showing some progressive metastasis...
We're just hanging tight until Wednesday when the medical board meets to decide our next move and see if there's even any point in pushing forward with the chemo...

Angela Wright said:So, here's what I'm thinking...
I really wonder why they haven't started palliative radiation on his ribs yet, because honestly, that would probably stop the pain immediately and let him finally settle down...
Also, if they aren't doing that, why hasn't a thoracic surgeon been brought in to look at a palliative procedure to clear out those airways?
And another thing—why hasn't an anesthesiologist been consulted to whip up a custom cocktail and fine-tune his painkiller doses?
Which hospital is he being treated at?

Thanks so much for the quick reply, Angela!
He's actually over at the hospital in Miami...
They haven't even mentioned radiation once, and he hasn't had a single session so far, so they haven't even brought it up as an option...
I'll see what the doctor has to say today and then figure out my next move...

Ugh, well, it looks like I’m joining your ranks now too...
I’ve been lurking here and reading all your posts for about a year now, and honestly, I just want to say thank you so much to everyone for everything you share here...
You guys have given me so much strength and hope, plus I've learned about so many rights we actually have, which is crazy because nobody really informs you about any of that while you're drowning in this whole sickness thing...

About two years ago, my Dad was diagnosed with Stage I lung adenocarcinoma...
And man, I don't even need to tell any of you about that initial shock and pure terror we felt at the start...
He actually responded so well to the first round of chemo—after just two cycles, the disease started going into regression! He was feeling great, not panicking, just full of hope and ready to keep fighting...
But things have been slowly spiraling downhill since this summer; he started getting weak, losing his appetite, and the pain is just getting stronger and happening more often, and even the Tramal isn't doing much anymore, if it works at all...
The latest CT scan shows the primary tumor is progressing and there’s a metastasis on the 9th rib, even after two cycles of Pemetrexed...
Now the shortness of breath is kicking in, like he literally can't take a full breath, so we're constantly making pilgrimages to the ER just to get him some oxygen, Medrole, and an IV to take the edge off...
His oxygen levels are actually okay, so they tell us—in layman's terms—that he doesn't technically need home oxygen, it's just that his airways are totally blocked up...
His CRP levels spike quite a bit, then antibiotics bring them back down to a normal range, and then it’s just a cycle of starting all over again... Other than that, his blood work values are actually pretty decent for a 70-year-old, despite everything...
Physically and mentally, he’s just slowly fading away; he's so exhausted from the constant pain, and on the days when the pain hits hard, he gets these terrifying episodes where he can't breathe...
During one visit to the Mayo Clinic, the doctor who took him in basically refused to give him the kind of help he expected given his diagnosis, saying there wasn't much more they could do, all while he was gasping for air like a fish out of water...
And then, almost in a whisper, she tells us, "Just wait until Monday for the next chemo cycle, if that even makes sense anymore," which just totally crushed his spirit and sent him sinking further into his shell...
We're currently getting ready for a follow-up appointment with the doctor, and they'll probably be the ones to decide if we should push through with more chemo or if he's just become too weak... I honestly don't know what to do anymore or how to handle this, or how I can possibly make any of this easier for him...