This thread has honestly been such a lifeline for me. For the past month, I’ve felt pretty isolated since I had to stay home to watch the kids—they're still so little—while my husband was at the hospital every single day with his family. Even though he kept me updated on everything, I found so much useful advice and genuine support right here.
We didn't lose hope until the very last second; we kept praying for some kind of miracle. It's incredibly hard on them because they feel like there was nothing more they could do, but thankfully, the doctor explained things clearly. Now I can finally see that there truly wasn't anything else that could have been done. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that we really need to encourage our fathers-in-law and older relatives to actually show up for those annual physicals once they hit 50. If anyone reading this is procrastinating on their own checkups or neglecting a loved one's health, please, take this as your sign to act before it's too late. Asking "what if" after the fact just doesn't help anyone now.
My father-in-law passed away today; he's gone to a better place. They performed surgery on him early this morning—essentially just an open-and-close procedure. After being hooked up to machines for a few hours, he slipped away. At least the agony wasn't dragged out for more hours or days. This way, he at least went peacefully in his sleep.
We're grateful we had the chance to say our goodbyes. The doctors told us things were looking grim internally, with extensive metastasis. There was simply no chance, especially since nothing concrete was done until about a month ago. That's the only small comfort we have. They also mentioned it’s such a quiet, insidious disease that it must have been present for over a year, even if he only had mild symptoms or none at all.
Thank you everyone for the support over these last three weeks. To those who are still fighting, I wish you all the best.
My brother-in-law is doing poorly. He was supposed to be discharged from the hospital to home hospice care these past few days, but his condition took a turn for the worse today. It looks like his large intestine might have perforated above the tumor, causing contents to leak into his abdomen. On top of that, his kidneys are failing—his urine is dark brown. His liver is also shutting down; his blood is extremely thin and won't clot. Because of this, they've called off the surgery to attempt to attach a colostomy bag to drain the waste. Alibse doesn't want to take the risk because it feels wrong to touch him when they know he likely won't survive the operation. So now, he’s just slowly fading away as one organ after another shuts down. They’re going to give him heavy sedatives so he isn't even conscious for it.
We spent today saying our goodbyes. All the little grandkids came by; I know he especially wanted to see them. He's still lucid and coherent—his mind is working and he can communicate—but his body is giving out. You can tell he knows the end is near. It's devastating how much weight he lost in less than a month. He hasn't even received an official diagnosis based on the pathology report yet, and he's already dying. It's heartbreaking. I just want him to pass peacefully before morning, so the suffering stops and he can move on to a better place.
Rachel Williams said:Look, colon cancer is a sneaky bastard. There are almost zero symptoms in the early stages. For men over 50, prevention means getting a colonoscopy once a year, but honestly, very few people actually do it. I also see you're active in alternative medicine circles, and regarding that, since the search tool on this Forum is finally working, just look at the posts from the other users you talk to... if Breuss were in a better position, why not, but with him, weight loss is inevitable despite all the nutrients being given. Personally, I wonder how much he could even handle right now, especially when you factor in the pain. Besides, I don't know how you'd manage Breuss while your father-in-law is in the hospital—do you even have permission to be home? I really feel for you, and many others on this thread know exactly what you and your husband are going through. There's so much frustration when everything is just speculation about what *could* be done, but nothing is certain and everyone is constantly waiting. In situations like this, there really isn't anything else to do but take it one day at a time and see how things unfold.
Thanks for the advice 🙂 I see the alternative crowd gets into some heated arguments; I'm not trying to follow anyone blindly, I'm just gathering information..
My husband's family consulted with the head nurse here in San Francisco who they know; she advised them to cancel the trip, thinking it was too risky to travel. So, they've called off the Avian trip. Basically, the situation is looking grim because it's very likely he'll need surgery for an ileus, as everything points toward his intestines potentially twisting. The surgeon has been by three times, but he keeps postponing the operation because he’s so weak. However, it's highly probable they will operate today or tomorrow. Right now he's on morphine patches, which seems to be helping with the pain, so his spirits are actually okay; he's talking nicely and understands everything.
The day before yesterday, a good friend's mother passed away. Cancer, too. It was uterine cancer; they found it somewhere in the first month, and she went through five cycles of chemo, which really helped her. She was doing so well that she couldn't even start the next cycle for a month because of the side effects. During that month, the tumor spread so rapidly that there was no saving her; she had some rare, galloping type of cancer. So we're looking at all of this now, wondering if the same thing is coming for us soon. It's a terrible feeling.
Rachel Williams said:If he’s up for traveling to Italy, you should take him there. Given those distant metastases, this is undoubtedly Stage IV—the final stage—though survival timelines vary wildly between patients. Honestly, a full cure at this point would be nothing short of a miracle. At this phase, the goal shifts entirely toward making the rest of his life as high-quality and pain-free as possible. I wanted to ask what led the doctors to decide he was too weak for chemo (for instance, some patients have poor blood counts that can be corrected with a transfusion, etc.), but seeing how much he's vomiting, I guess it doesn't even matter anymore... just stay by his side as much as you can right now and try to distract him from all of this as best you can.
We will definitely take him to Italy if he’s able to travel at all.
They concluded he's too weak because his blood work isn't good, apparently. But nobody mentioned anything about a transfusion. They're just giving him antibiotics because his CRP levels are high. To be honest, they didn't even tell them they'd attempt to fix his blood counts. They're just handing out painkillers and antibiotics.
A surgeon came by today; the colonoscopy confirmed that everything is pointing toward a bowel obstruction. He went in to assess whether he should perform surgery, but he backed out. He said he's afraid he wouldn't survive it. So, we wait, though if things get critical, they'll have to operate. The oncologist already said that after surgery, he’d be moved to a palliative care unit. It feels like they've completely given up on him and aren't even trying to do anything meaningful.
And we're just left here, lost, not knowing where to turn or what's even possible to do now.
I'm just writing this out to myself, I don't know, just need to vent. They managed to schedule an appointment at Avian on May 30th, and the folks at the Cancer Clinic also said they'll provide a second opinion as soon as the pathology report comes back (in about 10 days), because they can't say anything definitive without it. They'll also bring everyone in to assess his general condition.
But now my husband is calling me saying my father-in-law is vomiting something brown, and the doctor says, based on experience, that it's part of the liver failing. Does that mean he's already in the terminal stage? On top of that, he's been a total wreck mentally over the last two days and says he's in Pain.😢 The question is whether he'll even be physically capable of making it to the appointment at Aviano in five days. Is it even possible for things to go from discovering a diagnosis to being beyond help in just three weeks????
Today at the consultations, they told my husband that his father-in-law won't be able to undergo chemotherapy because he's just too weak. We're still waiting on the final pathology report, though. The doctor mentioned she’ll put him on symptomatic therapy and potentially have a surgeon operate, since there's a threat of an ileus—a bowel obstruction—which is life-threatening. But even that isn't a guarantee given how frail his system is. He’s barely eating anything, and the oncologist says there's no point in giving him Megestat since those are basically just dietary supplements, and he’s not even eating enough to have anything to bind to or break down. In short, they've pretty much written him off here. 😢
The family can't wrap their heads around the fact that they haven't even attempted actual treatment. We're calling the Cancer Clinic again tomorrow. Also, does anyone know what the deal is with Avian in Italy? My husband's sister has a contact over there—does anyone know how the treatment process works? From what I've heard, you have to pay for both the consultation and the travel to the hospital?
Kate Wells44 said:The primary tumor is in the large intestine. A colonoscopy needs to be performed for two reasons: to take a biopsy for histological and molecular analysis, and to ensure the bowel is clear enough for the scope to pass through. If it is, surgery isn't necessary right now; the first line of treatment will be chemotherapy combined with biological therapy, depending on what the molecular testing shows. If it isn't clear, he'll need surgery because there's a risk of a bowel obstruction (ileus), which is an emergency. I would also consider radiosurgery for those osteolytic changes in the pelvic bones.
Music spoke with Surgeon Glavan at the Cancer Clinic. She told him exactly what the forum user Ethan Roberts23 wrote: they won't perform surgery at this moment unless he develops a bowel obstruction, which is life-threatening—in that case, they would operate.
So, the plan is chemotherapy following the standard protocol, which is the same across all hospitals, including here in San Francisco. The doctor feels there’s no need to send him to Chicago right now to do the chemo; he'll receive the exact same treatment here as he would at their oncology department, and besides, being local is easier. Plus, doctors at smaller hospitals can sometimes get defensive when you try to transfer patients, acting like they don't want to examine someone just because they're planning to move them elsewhere. 🙄
The doctor also mentioned that he *can* go to Chicago if we want; they would guarantee him a hospital bed on short notice. It's just that she doesn't see the necessity of doing that right this second.
Rachel Williams said:Linda Fox2, I don't have any experience with that specific type of tumor, but based on what I know about other types at the Cancer Institute, I wish them all the best. Depending on which doctor you end up with, they can be incredibly knowledgeable but also pretty cold and blunt, though they are definitely effective and proactive. Personally, if I were back in the States after everything we've been through, they would be my first choice for care.
Thanks, Rachel Williams 🙂 I actually really liked the approach at first. For instance, I received an email at my father's primary contact address—the one used for patient intake—from a ward nurse saying Dr. Glavan had already reviewed his CT scan and that we’d be contacted tomorrow to coordinate the transfer. It was a very professional, serious approach, which is honestly how things should be handled everywhere. I’m hoping we can get him transferred to Chicago as soon as possible.
Betty Clark95 said:Linda Fox2, my dad had colon cancer and underwent surgery back in 2014 at the Holy Spirit hospital in Chicago. I honestly can't say enough good things about them after everything we went through.
I won't bore you with all the gritty details right now, but after a long stretch of tests and colonoscopies where they unfortunately couldn't figure out what was actually wrong, we ended up at the Holy Spirit ER. He was in terrible Pain and having bleeding episodes, and we were just at our wits' end because other places kept stubbornly sending us home.
By total chance, Dr. Davorin Velnic happened to be there that day. He realized immediately what was going on and jumped straight into action. I’ll never forget the massive sense of relief we felt when someone finally started taking concrete steps. We are eternally grateful to him for everything he did for my dad. He took a sample right away, and while we waited for the results, he organized all the necessary screenings my dad needed to get done in the meantime. Within two weeks of getting those results, he was hospitalized. Once there, they ran a few more tests and operated within days. After that, he was sent from Holy Spirit to undergo radiation and chemo at the Cancer Clinic (our doctor there was Hrvoje Sobat), and based on our experience, I have nothing but praise for them too.
I don't know what the situation is with your father-in-law; I assume every case is unique, and his treatment plan might be completely different. What I do know is that this whole thing is a long, grueling process for everyone involved. Aside from finding excellent doctors and maintaining a positive mindset, a lot of things have to align perfectly. But for us, it was such a huge relief when we finally knew we were in the hands of someone doing everything possible in the moment, even though the final result could still be bad regardless of the effort.
Good luck and hang in there!
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s exactly like you said—I keep thinking about it, and I just want to know that we did everything we could to get him into the right hands, because that factor makes such a huge difference. That's why we aren't looking to stay in San Francisco. I don't believe my father-in-law will fully recover since it has spread quite a bit, but if we can buy him a few more years of quality life with his family, we would gladly do it.
I'm waiting for my husband to let me know how his talk goes with Dr. Glavan (the surgeon) over at the Cancer Clinic, then we'll see what they say.
I reached out to the Chicago Cancer Clinic today and sent over my father-in-law's CT scan. They got back to me pretty quickly, telling us to check in with the head nurse tomorrow to coordinate transferring him there for treatment. Has anyone here had any experience with this clinic?
I have a feeling his pathology results would come back fast since they have a dedicated department just for that. Honestly, it can't be any worse than what we dealt with in San Francisco. But, since there are definitely better options out there for treating cases like my father-in-law's, I’d much rather get him to the right place.
Kate Wells44 said:The colonoscopy results come back the same day, but we're looking at about a week for the PET scan (maybe we can push them if we insist). If your father-in-law isn't having any issues with bowel movements, waiting an extra 2-3 days for the results won't change much. Unfortunately, his illness has progressed quite far, and there's no chance for a full cure. Chemotherapy combined with biological therapy might slow down the progression and extend his life, provided he responds well to it.
Down here in San Francisco, they told us the PET scan would take two weeks. For now, he isn't having any trouble with bowel movements. So, you're saying there's no hope for a full recovery?! How much longer can we realistically expect him to hold on, assuming he responds well to the chemo? Also, what exactly does biological therapy entail?
One more piece of advice if you don't mind—it's clear you all know your stuff regarding this. Where in Chicago would be the best place to receive treatment in a case like this?
Is waiting two weeks for colonoscopy results before starting treatment considered too long in a case like this? Does anyone have recommendations for a specific doctor or clinic in Chicago I should contact? Also, generally speaking, what are the odds for my father-in-law given this diagnosis?
Thanks to everyone for the input. Just like Rachel Williams mentioned, my father-in-law has been hospitalized for two weeks now, but things move incredibly slowly here. Honestly, I don't get the plan to wait until next week for a colonoscopy, then wait another two weeks for results before even starting treatment. I'm terrified this could progress further, and the situation isn't looking good at all. They told my husband that the primary tumor is in the large intestine. We were thinking about seeing a private oncologist in San Francisco for a second opinion and then heading to Chicago, but I still have no clue where to go! Does the Cancer Clinic handle cases like this?
Here are the CT scan results; I've attached the image. What does this actually mean? What are the chances for treatment? Specifically, is it even operable at this stage, or will they start with chemotherapy to try and shrink the metastases first?
My husband had his CT scan this past Wednesday. We haven't received the results yet, but hopefully my husband can track them down today. However, the oncologist already reached out to the radiologist, who suggested it’s likely colorectal cancer. He was actually scheduled for surgery today to biopsy a portion of the metastasis near the liver, but based on what they saw on the CT, they've decided to pivot to a colonoscopy instead to pull tissue samples for a biopsy—presumably from the colon.
The colonoscopy isn't happening until Monday, and now we're stuck waiting two weeks. Once the colonoscopy is done, they should let him come home. Is it normal for everything to move this slowly? I mean, from the time he was admitted to the hospital on May 5th, it looks like it’ll take a full month before we even have a final diagnosis and know what the next steps for treatment are. Does it make sense to send him to the Chicago Cancer Clinic for further treatment after the colonoscopy (since we're here in San Francisco), or should we wait for those biopsy results before we start arranging a move to Chicago? This whole process feels incredibly sluggish, and it feels like time is just slipping away without any real action being taken.
Rachel Williams said:From the moment we were admitted to the hospital, we waited about three weeks for a definitive diagnosis in Chicago, so don't expect anything to move quickly. It actually would have taken even longer if she hadn't been an inpatient; being hospitalized helped her snag earlier appointments. During that time, she had two CT scans, a bronchoscopy, and I won't even get started on how many X-rays and blood tests they ran.
We used the oil almost from the very beginning. Doctors gave Mom maybe six months to live, but she lived for over three and a half years, and they were pretty good years. We hit some bigger hurdles in the last six months, but despite those, she was about 80% independent and 100% lucid. Off the record, several doctors told us that the oil was likely the only reason the disease stayed stagnant for so long. I wanted to introduce beta-glucan right away, but after talking with the League Against Cancer (who are totally open to alternative options), we decided against it. The reasoning was that while beta-glucan definitely has an impact, it can be a double-edged sword—instead of encouraging healthy cells to multiply and regenerate, it could just as easily stimulate tumor cells. We know plenty of people with great experiences using beta-glucan, but we just didn't want to take that risk. Also, apparently there are some really positive success stories with the Brezov therapy—personally, we only knew one guy who tried it twice, but he didn't see any results at all.
Given how uncertain this whole situation feels, I would definitely hold off on a final diagnosis until you decide if it's even worth the risk of sourcing the oil. Finding the real stuff is incredibly difficult because there are so many scammers out there, and we aren't exactly talking about small amounts of money here. Plus, despite all the ads and testimonials, the oil isn't some magic cure-all.
Reddit thanks Rachel Williams for the insight; I'll send you a PM. Hopefully, we'll know more this week, and I'll check back in then.
Raymond Smith53 said:That wait is way too long. Is the machine broken or what...? And what do you mean by "abdominal markers"? Please be specific about which markers. There’s no such thing as just "abdominal markers"—that's far too vague a term.
I have no idea why there's such a long wait for the CT scan; apparently, that's the earliest available slot. I agree, it feels like an eternity. It's going to take ten whole days just to get a concrete diagnosis and actually start treatment. We're waiting on this CT so we can immediately transfer everything over to NYC, but since we don't know exactly what we're dealing with yet, we don't even know which hospital to move her to.
I don't know exactly which marker it is either. I'm just getting updates from my husband, who doesn't see the actual results himself—the oncologist just gives him all the details verbally. Basically, her reaction to how high those markers are is that it's not good at all.
I'm scared the situation isn't great. They're ready to fight, but it feels like everything is moving in slow motion.
Angela Wright said:I'm surprised they didn't perform an abdominal ultrasound and a colonoscopy. Those results would have made everything much clearer and provided a roadmap for next steps (like potential surgery). It feels like we might be looking at gastric cancer "blindly," considering he didn't have any other symptoms until these issues and probable secondary complications popped up. Ask around about why that ultrasound wasn't done. It's a cheap, fast test, and when you're dealing with suspected malignancies and secondary issues, every single day counts. In my opinion, combining that ultrasound with a later CT scan would provide a much more precise and comprehensive picture.
Thanks for the reply. I forgot to mention that they did run an abdominal ultrasound upon his admission to the hospital, which showed masses on the liver. However, the complicating factor was that his abdomen was apparently full of gas, so the imaging wasn't very clear. That's how my husband describes it; I haven't actually seen the official reports since he was admitted.
The oncologist also suspects the primary issue is located in the abdomen. She didn't specifically mention gastric cancer. His lung markers are high, but the abdominal markers are even higher (my husband mentioned something over 4000, though I don't know the exact numbers).
He honestly had zero symptoms until about a month and a half ago when those liver masses appeared. Is it possible for metastases to develop there? And as far as I recall, isn't this unrelated to any specific organ, but rather involving the bone marrow?? If it is gastric cancer, from what I'm reading, that’s definitely not a good scenario. Although it does say elevated blood glucose is a common indicator, and his glucose levels are perfectly normal.
Rachel Williams said:They gave that to my mom when she was discharged, and everything was laid out in her discharge papers. Generally speaking, if it's your father-in-law in the hospital, the doctor can't just write him any prescriptions they want.
Okay, I get it now. They’re focused on him right now. My husband tells me the doctor already wrote a referral for Prosur during the earlier exam.
I just hope we get that CT scan soon; everything feels like it's moving at a snail's pace. He was admitted this past Saturday, and now he's waiting over 10 days for the CT.