2 posts shown.
Maria Miller80, thanks so much for the reply...
I haven't been on the forum for a while. My dad passed away, unfortunately...
Everything was going fine post-op, and he was actually getting ready to be discharged from the hospital when everything just flipped. He went septic, and they tried everything, but his organs just started shutting down one by one... We were right there with him until the very end; the doctors let us stay. The suffering didn't last long, which is the only thing we can try to find comfort in, though I don't know how much that actually helps. I tried to hold it together, but then my mom suffered a stroke three days after my father died—just a day before the funeral. Thank God and thank the doctors at the new hospital, because she’s doing okay now, physically at least... As for me, I’m basically a zombie right now, just moving on autopilot... I know many of you here have gone through this, and honestly, sometimes it feels like I won't make it through, but then I tell myself time will take its course, and it's just that cycle. To everyone still fighting, I truly wish you success from the bottom of my heart, and to those of you helping others with advice, may life reward you for what you do.
Hi everyone,
A long time ago, I was lurking around this forum and saw this thread. I didn't have the guts to actually open it back then; I just sort of thought to myself that I hoped I’d never have to be here... Unfortunately, that's not how it turned out. I've been reading through your experiences, and as much as it breaks my heart to see what you've all gone through or are currently facing, it’s also kind of a relief to know there’s a group of people out there who actually understand and help such complete strangers so selflessly. I’ve just been feeling totally lost in all of this, and it was honestly comforting to find a place where you can vent a little and maybe get some advice. I really admire your willingness to understand and help—seriously, props to you. Even those of you who lost the battle are still here, and you deserve respect, though I guess "respect" feels like an understatement. About two weeks ago, my dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer with liver metastases, and he had surgery last week. Despite the doctors' best efforts, they couldn't save any part of his stomach; the tumor was positioned in a way that the whole thing had to come out. I won't forget the moment we found out or that conversation with the doctor as long as I live. Given all his other diagnoses, the statistics are pretty grim. Surprisingly, the surgery itself went without complications. There weren't any major postoperative issues, aside from a psychological reaction to the anesthesia, which manifested as intense anger and him claiming he wasn't going to survive. They explained to us that this is expected given his age (68), and they tried to comfort us, saying we shouldn't take it personally and that he'll eventually forget it. He mentioned that if he had known it would be like this (since he hadn't eaten for seven days), he never would have agreed to it. He felt terrible and weak—he even managed to fall while working with the physical therapists. It was incredibly hard for him to deal with that weakness and the back pain from getting an epidural and everything. But anyway, they did some tests yesterday that confirmed everything went well, and he can slowly start having tea and gradually reintroduce food. When I asked the doctor to be brutally honest, he told us first that there was a high chance he wouldn't survive the surgery (he has diabetes with vascular complications that led to half a foot being amputated over two years ago, plus rheumatoid arthritis, atherosclerosis, high blood pressure, etc.), and even if he gets through that, there’s a huge risk of postoperative complications. Yet, the surgery went perfectly, and thank God, the doctors say his recovery is exceeding expectations. From what I gather, the biggest challenge will be getting him strong enough to handle chemotherapy. I haven't seen all the paperwork yet, but when I asked about the liver, the answer was "a lot" and it isn't operable. As much as I try to pull myself together, I still feel completely out of my depth and honestly don't know where to start. I am in a total emotional whirlwind—swinging from suffocating sadness to paralyzing fear, then hitting bursts of optimism, and then finding solace in prayer as a believer. My sleep is basically zero, so I've started taking some pills; it's just a daily struggle with myself. Although I've had some positive experiences with alternative methods (I know that's not the topic here), I have no intention of rejecting anything within the scope of modern medicine, nor do I have the nerve to do anything on my own. Since I have a lot of people in my circle with heavy diagnoses, I hear all sorts of things, and it’s just total chaos in my head. I tried to hold onto the idea that since he's in the hospital, I can't really do anything anyway, but despite the bad stats, I want to try everything possible to give him more days, even though I dread the potential suffering. I was already falling apart before he couldn't even eat or drink, but somehow I managed to stay composed when I was with him. Though, I have to admit, the first day at the ward put me through the wringer—both me and the doctor—wondering why I brought him to this hospital and all that. The nurses were wonderful (as was the doctor who came by immediately), they explained everything and gave him some sedatives. We only found out later that after our visit to the ICU, they actually had to restrain him because he was pulling at everything. But okay, that's mostly behind us now; yesterday helped a lot, and he's starting to come around. If you have any advice on where to even begin, I would be seriously grateful. I wish you all strength and blessings, because what you do here is truly wonderful, no matter how scary the topics are. I scrolled down to the alternative section for a bit and was horrified by the amount of arguing and bickering; it just made me even sadder. But whatever, that's not the point here. Thanks so much everyone, and I wish you all success in your battles!!