The absolute worst thing you can say to someone struggling with depression is to just "snap out of it," tell them life is beautiful, or suggest they go smell the roses. 😳 Someone close to me battled depression for five years, and honestly, it’s a brutal disease. People tend to dismiss it because—hey, there's no visible wound, right?—so they assume it doesn't actually hurt. 😳 Getting out from under that weight is incredibly hard. Even when everything looks perfect on paper, you just don't see it—the roses don't smell like anything and everything stays pitch black. Basically, your brain just makes a wrong connection and fails to process external stimuli the way a healthy person would. It’s a constant fight. It wears down the people around you, but it wears down the person going through it even more.
Morgan Campbell4, have you tried hitting the gym when those dark thoughts start creeping in? Like, just hop on a bike and pedal until your legs are screaming. Or maybe running. Or hitting the weights. What about meditation? Ever given it a shot? Personally, I'm still trying to master it, but if I can manage 5-10 minutes of actually clearing my head, I'll take the win.
And yeah, don't sleep on the power of autosuggestion. At least try it before you write it off as useless. 😉
Living out in the sticks is perfect—but only if you're wired a certain way. If your biggest life goal is hitting up a trendy cafe in downtown Chicago, having a 7-Eleven right around the corner, and being within a five-minute drive of every major mall, then yeah, stay in the city.
But if you actually value peace, quiet, and some actual breathing room... well, the countryside is where it's at. 👍 Honestly, more and more people are ditching the concrete jungle for rural life—especially parents looking for a better setup for their kids.
The idea that you’d be whining and crying on the FBI forums—I haven't seen anything like that since some Viking guy 🤣 so, Benjamin Martin80, don't go blaming the mods for your ban. You brought this on yourself—it's pretty obvious you can't read. Like, if you actually looked at the intro of the thread, it says clearly:
"We also ask that you skip the negative critiques of the girls here; we aren't here to turn physical imperfections into sentences, but to appreciate beauty. We've been doing it this way for years."
How much of an idiot do you have to be to miss something that simple? God, I post on other CIA threads too, so if you're just dying to call me a salad, a loser, a moron, or whatever else—just wait for me on another thread. Verbal chauvinism is allowed everywhere else, after all. But nope, you had to wander right into the one spot where it explicitly says you can't, and then once you get banned, you start bitching. 😂
And for the record, I'm not just some random woman—I've been on this forum longer than you, and on the CIA too. 😛 Don't give me that "this is just my alt account" crap, because that just makes you look like an even bigger coward—someone who not only whines but hides behind clones. 😁
She’s clearly one of those types who just lives to nitpick—nothing is ever good enough for her.🙄 And when there isn't anything obvious to complain about, she'll take a harmless little joke of yours (I'm assuming she caught the sarcasm😕) and turn it into some massive drama...
Not sure if I even have any real advice for you. A buddy of mine dated a girl just like this, and honestly, things only got worse after two years. Except she was also pathologically jealous. She absolutely drained him—and in a desperate attempt to fix things, he actually agreed to have a kid with her (I mean, hellooo?), which obviously made everything ten times worse. Now they fight constantly because she snaps at every single thing he says out of pure insecurity.
ruggedbison11 said:I never really saw any massive blowups at home, though I did notice she’s incredibly sensitive when it comes to her old man, mostly because he can't help but mess with her, and she takes every little joke as a personal attack. Honestly, her dad is kind of a jerk about it; he really needs to dial it back and be a bit more gentle with her, especially since she tends to take everything way too personally. But for the most part, the guy just sits there grinding away on his PC games, tossing out these constant jabs that drive her absolutely insane.
nemesiss;28270391 said:Look, I get it—nobody's perfect. As far as emotions go, my old man probably just didn't have the tools, but I can't help blaming him for constantly lecturing me and being such a perfectionist about everything, which absolutely trashed my self-esteem. I always felt like I wasn't pretty enough, smart enough, or whatever else he wanted me to be. He never even said he loved me.
So, what’s the plan then? Just spend the rest of your life feeling insecure and worthless because your dad didn't give you enough hugs fifteen years ago? 😕 Easy for you to say...
My dad used to lecture me and my mom constantly, telling me I'd never amount to anything—so honestly, now that I'm an adult, I don't blame him for my failed relationships or any of my setbacks. You make your own luck.
hollowbear9 said:It’s true, I’ve never been much for following that old cliché about wise people learning from others' mistakes while fools learn from their own. Personally, I’ve always been the type to take the hard way, stumbling through my own messes over and over again... 😁 What actually helped was finally facing the music and realizing there was a pattern, even if I haven't quite figured out how to fix my own behavior yet. I’m 28 now, and I recently had this crushing realization that my father didn't show me the affection I needed, which basically left me emotionally wrecked from puberty onwards. And the absolute worst part is knowing exactly how this plays out—that after I lose my boyfriend, I’ll find myself stuck in some pathetic situationship with some jerk who doesn't give a damn about me, and I won't have any clue how to break out of that cycle. It’s exactly where I ended up before I finally got serious with my current partner. I am fully aware of every single consequence, but honestly... it doesn't make it any easier.
It's great that you've recognized the pattern and want to deal with it,👍but I find it a bit much when people in their late twenties are still blaming their parents for everything that goes wrong in their lives. Your dad was just a human being—just like every other parent out there. People aren't perfect, and they mess up. Are you planning on being a flawless mother and raising a child with zero issues?
So, because your dad was strict and traditional, you're 28 and still feeling totally lost. Sorry, but using those kinds of excuses for your own mistakes and life choices feels 👎
It was fun while it lasted, I guess.☕ Clearly you’ve reached that stage where you want to see what else is out there—which is fine—but just try to be fair to the guy who actually stuck by you when things were hitting the fan. Just end it cleanly and move on; once you do the right thing, that self-loathing stuff might finally chill out.