Posts by George Allen71

Jason Vaughn482 said:Are you dealing with nausea as well? And tell me, has your sleep quality improved since starting the regimen? Personally, I’ve never struggled with suicidal ideation—never once—but I do find myself spiraling into heightened anxiety and a general sense of profound malaise. It’s exhausting. As for tonight, I ended up taking Zoloft and then added Mirataz because I couldn't catch a wink of sleep, and now I feel like I've been run over by a freight train.🙂

I used to struggle with nausea, but that’s passed now... the problem is I simply can't bring myself to eat. The anxiety is still very much there, too... but what’s truly overwhelming is this constant urge to just disappear, these intrusive thoughts... I just want everything to stop... I can handle the headaches and the nausea if I have to; if things get bad, I'll just take some Advil and lie down for a few hours... but there is nothing I can do about the other part... it's terrifying... I'm going through all of this entirely on my own, struggling just to get by... and honestly, I am so scared.

Jason Vaughn482 said:What kind of dosage are you running? Personally, I find the way this makes me feel absolutely intolerable, and I’m seriously considering tapering off altogether; I woke up this morning feeling like a total shell of a human being.

I'm currently on 50mg... though my doctor mentioned I'll likely need to bump that up eventually since this is just the starting dose.
Everything felt pretty awful for me at first... specifically during those initial two or three weeks. Compared to that, taking something like Wellbutrin felt almost side-effect free... whereas I was dealing with headaches... nausea... it was honestly a nightmare. Now that I'm in my fifth week on Lexapro, the only things I deal with are some sleepiness and these intense intrusive thoughts about self-harm... but nothing else. You really just have to push through that initial adjustment period to let the medication actually kick in before you can decide if it’s right for you.

Jason Vaughn482 said:If my internal clock hasn't completely failed me, I believe it's day ten; I was actually supposed to bump up to the 50 mg dose by now, but I haven't made that jump yet. How has the adjustment been treating you?

Well, okay, so it can hold out for another week... though it really should be stopped.
I switched from Valdoxan. It's my fourth day on Lexapro now... it's basically just like Zoloft, but manufactured by Pfizer...

Jason Vaughn482 said:I am honestly just fed up with this Zoloft; I’m still sitting at a mere 25 mg, yet I can’t feel a single positive effect—no reduction in appetite, no lift in my mood, nothing. All I’m left with is constant nausea and this heightened, jittery nervousness... frankly, I felt much better before I ever started this stuff.

What day of treatment are you on?

fadedbear92 said:A general overview regarding antipsychotics

The latest generation of antipsychotics

thanks

I've already gone through all of that...

and I still feel like they aren't necessary for me....

thanks for taking the time to explain everything

fadedbear92 said:You really need to find a psychiatrist who actually knows their stuff when it comes to pharmacology—it makes all the difference.

Look, we aren't here to tell you whether you need a specific medication or not—that’s really between you and your doctor.🙄

What exactly seems illogical to you?
She’s always there to break everything down for me—really makes things clear.
Go ahead and make the change then, Doc.

My question was meant to be a general inquiry about why someone with BPD would be prescribed an antipsychotic... I wasn't asking for a diagnosis for myself specifically. After all, nobody on an internet forum can truly understand my personal medical history or my exact situation...

fadedbear92 said:You really need to find a psychiatrist who actually knows their stuff when it comes to pharmacology—it makes all the difference.

Look, we aren't here to tell you whether you need a specific medication or not—that’s really between you and your doctor.🙄

What exactly seems illogical to you?
She’s always there to break everything down for me—really makes things clear.
Go ahead and make the change then, Doc.

I'm currently seeing a psychiatrist who is supposedly one of the top specialists in Chicago.

But honestly, I am not satisfied with her care.

fadedbear92 said:There's also Abilify—that newer Q-pin stuff might work too.

Sure, but I really need someone to explain to me what on earth the point of an antipsychotic is for someone like me.

I don't deal with psychotic episodes. I have BPD and severe recurrent depression.

It’s fine, I know they say you can combine mood stabilizers with atypicals for BPD... but can someone please explain why?

I've had such awful experiences with antipsychotics that I refuse to take them, regardless of what they're called. With Zyprexa, I gained massive amounts of weight, and Zeldox practically knocked me out for three weeks straight—I almost lost my job over it. They completely ruined my life. It’s no wonder my depression came back right after that.

I am telling you, these drugs just don't work for me; I can't tolerate them. I'm just looking for a real, logical explanation as to why someone with BPD would even be prescribed one.My psychiatrist gives me explanations that just don't make any sense to me.

Jason Vaughn482 said:I have heard that antipsychotics can actually be quite helpful in many instances involving both depression and anxiety, typically when administered in low doses. I am not an expert on your specific diagnosis, of course, but for example, a close friend of mine takes Zoloft in the morning and 150 mg of Seroquel—an antipsychotic—in the evening, and after years of being housebound, she finally feels wonderful and is functioning beautifully again. Perhaps it might be worth trying that alongside your antidepressant just to see; it is certainly better to try than to continue suffering like this, and small doses of an antipsychotic shouldn't do you any harm.

You didn't read that the diagnosis is BPD... and I already listed the antipsychotics I've tried so far, like Invega, Zyprexa, and Zeldox, and none of them helped.

Jason Vaughn482 said:I’ve only been on Zoloft for about ten days now, so I can't say much; frankly, I'm not feeling it yet, but I suppose it's still far too early to tell.🤷

I honestly don't get it... I have BPD, and she just told me straight up that no antidepressant is ever going to work because my core issue is depression. But it’s not just that—it's the emotional volatility, those intense affective states, that no antidepressant can touch. She keeps pushing antipsychotics on me, but I'm just not doing it. I've been through the ringer with them already... I've tried Saphris, Zyprexa, and Zeldox, and I felt like I was literally dying from those combinations. As for antidepressants, though... she wouldn't budge. She kept me stuck on Lexapro for a year and a half while I spent hours every single day crying my eyes out. Then, during an ER visit, they switched me over to Valdoxan, but it was like taking nothing at all. Now, she's prescribed Luxet...
I honestly don't see the point anymore if these medications aren't going to work the way she says they will... if it's just physical therapy instead. What's the point of forcing all these pills on me then?
She even went as far as to threaten me, telling me straight up that this was my very last chance... no more adjustments, no more changes!
I ended up getting into a massive argument with her... she claims I’m acting like I own the place and that I’m trying to run her clinic, and she’s absolutely livid because I went to the ER instead of waiting for her. Apparently, she’s furious that they prescribed me something different than what she had on file. She hasn't even seen me for a follow-up in two months... she won't let me book an appointment unless it's on her terms. I am just completely at my wit's end here... I honestly don't know what else I was supposed to do. I finally looked her in the eye and told her that I have to fight for myself. I told her straight up that neither she nor anyone else is going to step up for me, so I'm going to do whatever it takes to get better. She just went dead silent after that...
Honestly, she really rubbed me the wrong way... if everyone else in the waiting room is bowing down to her just because she holds a medical degree, then I’m certainly not going to join in. It’s just a profession, after all. I’m a director with a Master’s in Economics, but that doesn't mean anything special. I don't walk around acting like I'm God or like my word is the absolute, final truth on everything...

My prescription was changed today... they switched me over to Lexapro... does anyone know if it’s basically the same thing as Zoloft? Has anyone here actually used Lexapro before?
(I was on Wellbutrin until now... and unfortunately... it just wasn't doing anything for me...)

I have my follow-up appointment with my psychiatrist today.... I’m honestly not feeling any better on this Valdoxan... I’ve been taking it for a month now, yet I’m still crying constantly and struggling just to get through the day.
I am considering asking her about switching medications... but I am genuinely terrified of what she might prescribe next.

Kenneth Scott41 said:My fellow forum members... I’m having a really difficult time lately. These suicidal thoughts just won't stop coming, but I'm honestly terrified of heading to the psychiatric ward. I've been admitted for this exact reason far too many times before, and I just can't face the idea of them putting me in one of those straightjackets and forcing me to stay on the unit against my will.🙂🤷 I feel completely lost. To make matters worse, I have to wait at least a month and a half just to get an appointment with my therapist! 😢

Last time I felt this way, I actually ended up heading straight to the ER...

Timothy Wood38 said:Well, you can't exactly expect someone on a forum to tell you which medication you should be taking and which you shouldn't. That's what your psychiatrist is for. We're just here to swap stories and opinions. As for Prozac, personally, it was the best antidepressant I had alongside Paxil, and I'm still on it. I tried Effexor, Lexapro, and Wellbutrin at max doses for at least a month, and they did absolutely nothing for me. That's just how individual it all is. Besides, I don't know what your relationship is like with your doctor. With my doctor, I can actually influence my treatment plan using real, logical arguments.

I'm starting to seriously think that my psych either doesn't know what they're doing or just doesn't get me... they kept me on Lexapro for a whole year and it did absolutely nothing... and they wouldn't switch it... so how am I supposed to know if I need something else or not? I come in and explain exactly how I'm feeling and what's going on... but if I say I'm in a bad way and that I'm crying constantly... hello? In the end, I ended up in the ER... and on top of my original diagnosis, I got slapped with a major depressive disorder diagnosis too... after a year of taking an antidepressant?! I know I sound terrible, but I'm just losing faith in the whole system and in my doctor... like, let's try something, but then it's like I'm at a farmers market... do you want this or do you want that??? I'm not the doctor, am I?! That's just my subjective take on things.

Timothy Wood38 said:Me? Well, back when I brought up Valdoxan to my doctor about a year ago—before it was even widely available here—she basically told me it was more of a marketing gimmick. She thought this whole "first melatonin-ergic antidepressant" thing was mostly fiction, just selling smoke, especially since we spent all this time linking depression to serotonin imbalances and suddenly melatonin is the star of the show. And honestly, all that talk about Valdoxan causing liver toxicity in some people seems a bit suspicious too. Personally, I tend to trust the tried-and-true stuff, like Prozac or Paxil, which have been on the market forever.

I’ve been posting here for a month now, weighing the pros and cons of Valdoxan... trying to decide if it's worth it... and yet, I haven't encountered a single person who actually makes sense...🙂
And besides, I don't get to pick which meds get prescribed to me... I'm not out there shopping at the pharmacy... if I were the psychiatrist, I'd know what to do...
I'll just hold out until the 25th, then I'm heading to my psych appointment. If I don't feel any real shift by then... I'm switching.

For those of you currently on Prozac... how heavy-duty is it really? How much does it actually help? I know everyone reacts differently, but I'm genuinely curious about people's real-world experiences...

I honestly don't know why, but the mere thought of taking Prozac gives me the creeps... it's just like... wow...

Valdoxan... I think it's day 17 now

Okay, how am I actually supposed to know if this stuff is working? How can you even tell if an antidepressant is doing its job?
As most of you know, I’ve been dealing with BPD... and right now, I'm in the middle of a really heavy depressive episode... So, honestly, how many hours of crying per day are "allowed" before I can say the medication is actually kicking in? Or am I technically not allowed to cry at all?

I'm just confused. The literature says this specific AD starts working within two weeks, which is supposedly faster than the others that take three...

Either my depression is just so incredibly severe that even this isn't enough to pull me out... or I don't know what else to call it... maybe I have one day where things feel slightly better... but even then, not even for a full day... just a few hours... and the rest of the time... it feels like I'm at my own funeral...

How do you know when an AD is functioning properly? How am I supposed to feel? Good...? Okay...? Not crying...? What exactly am I looking for????

Sedatival: Day Ten

My darlings... this stuff actually works! These last nine days have been absolute madness... you could tell just by looking at my posts.

Today... I feel calmer.... okay, my head still aches a little... it feels like there's some strange fluid inside my skull instead of a brain, everything is just kind of swirling around... but the feeling... I am calm.

After I don't even know how many months, today is the first day without crying!!!!

I'm not quite back to my old self yet, but I can feel things improving. I've actually started dreaming again after going an entire year and a half without a single dream... my body isn't shaking nearly as much as it has been lately... I know, I know, you'll all say these are just small steps... but to me, they are massive.

The only thing is, I can't look at any light after I take my dose in the evening. It's like it's forbidden; I have to keep my eyes shut... now I can't even try anymore (okay, fine, I tried watching a show from bed... it just didn't work)

For now, I am absolutely thrilled with these initial signs.... if I start seeing progress in my motivation too... oh man, no one will be happier than me... and it will happen... I truly believe it will.

God...how long does it actually take when you're switching from one antidepressant to another....how much longer do I have to wait??????

It’s day nine on trintellix...and I just can't do this anymore. Okay, I'm taking Lamal along with it to help stabilize my mood...On top of BPD, now I've got F33.2, severe recurrent depression without psychosis...it's all just such a heavy state and I don't know how to get out
but the headaches...it feels like my brain is being squeezed inside my skull...like something is sloshing around in there...emotionally...swinging from rage and irritation...into terrible sadness...then back to anger again...if I turn my head too fast, I have to grab my head with my hands because it feels so nauseous immediately
The anxiety is so intense that even though I'm hungry, if I eat, I vomit everything right back up...and it starts happening while I'm still eating...My shoulders and upper arms ache constantly...like I've been working out all night...but it's just pure tension and cramping

Okay, how much longer....hopefully there will come a day where I wake up and things will be...well...today is a little bit better

The instructions say that you should see improvement from trintellix after just the first week...unlike three weeks with other antidepressants....okay, great...but I just need these adjustment side effects to vanish....I feel like I'm losing my mind completely...
I've been thinking about checking into a hospital until things improve...the people around me are acting crazy...and those few people who at least partially understand what I'm going through...everyone is running away because they can't handle me like this
Oh God...when will that cheerful, happy person come back...the person everyone used to run toward and call for everything because they loved my company...that strong person everyone always turned to for help and support....
Oh God...where did I go???????????

fadedbear92 said:I'm so sorry you can't just reach out to your psychiatrist by phone. My doctor usually prefers tapering by a quarter tablet every 3 or 4 days—who knows if things moved too fast for you? It's also possible that whatever happened in your personal life just completely shook your foundation; I felt something very similar after my divorce... I truly hope these heavy moments pass for you quickly. Please write back—don't bottle it up, just talk...

I'm trying... but dealing with BPD makes it so hard... it's exhausting to endure. Sooner or later, everyone just ends up running away from me

I can't stay on here anymore... I have to go... I'm at the office right now and my employees can see me crying... and I'm supposed to be the one in charge... yet here I am, breaking down... okay, I'm going to pull myself together and head to the ER psychiatric ward, at least for today....

I'll let you know how it goes... if I'm still around🙂

fadedbear92 said:I am so incredibly sorry you're going through this. Are you seeing a therapist alongside your doctor to help process everything happening?

Which specific antidepressant were you tapering off of—that old, outdated stuff?

If the side effects are really this intense, they should hopefully taper off within two weeks at most.

I’m starting psychotherapy... finally moving to individual sessions, but now that I'm switching my AD... with everything hitting me at once... my therapist is basically telling me to hang in there... honestly, after nine months of nothing, it's just great...
That’s why I went to see the specialist... because I am completely falling apart at the seams.

I was tapering off Lexapro... I was at a max of 20 mg... spent a few days at 10 mg then dropped to 5 mg... and only after that did I start Valdoxan.

As far as I know, it took three weeks total, but I'm really hoping what is written about Valdoxan is true—that you can see some progress in just one week...

I have nowhere to go after work today... I'm just sitting here in my office crying. I don't even have anyone to call... I have nowhere to turn... I can't go home because I'm in such a terrible state that I can't be alone at the house... I'm heading back to the ER. I'll just lie down there for a bit, talk to someone, and hopefully they'll give me something to help me calm down.