Dealing with hemorrhoids
in Health ·
I see everyone here posting about hemorrhoids and laser surgery, and honestly, I’ve read some absolute nonsense online—from claims that the laser is completely painless to stories about people hopping straight into an Uber and driving home immediately after the procedure. Well, I was discharged from the hospital just two days ago, so let me give you the actual breakdown of how it went down. Before the surgery, I had to go out and pick up the so-called "laser" equipment, which is actually a stapler (PPHO3), and it cost me $1100. After getting my blood drawn, I met with the anesthesiologist because this whole thing is done under local anesthesia, meaning they basically numb your entire lower half. The next day, I checked in with the doctor, who told me to swing by the hospital in the afternoon since that's when they were scheduled to operate on me. When I arrived, the staff was great; they spent a couple of hours prepping me, including inserting a tube so I could clear things out, and then I was out like a light. The morning of the surgery, I was given a pill and then wheeled into the OR. I was feeling pretty anxious, but I remember them giving me an injection in my spine, and then my lower body just started drifting away. They laid me on the table, strapped my legs down like I was in labor, and I drifted off. I woke up about two hours later in my room. At first, there was zero pain, but also zero sensation anywhere below the waist. After a while, the anesthesia started wearing off, and yeah, the pain started creeping in. I'm not going to sugarcoat it: it hurts. It hurts quite a bit. But look, it's nothing you can't handle. And don't feel bad about asking for Voltaren injections—seriously, don't suffer in silence. If you feel it coming on, ask for the meds, otherwise, you aren't getting any sleep. Also, don't try to stand up too much right away; if you spend too much time on your feet, you might end up with a massive headache from the anesthesia, which can linger for a few days. The worst part for me? The night after the surgery. Having that tampon removed from... well, you know... takes maybe two seconds, but holy crap, does it sting. Then, the next day, they give you fluids to drink to help get things moving so you can use the restroom. I stayed in the hospital for two days, and those two days were rough. It wasn't unbearable, but like I said, ask for that Voltaren injection (thank God for modern medicine). Now that I've been home for two days, I've had to use the bathroom twice. It still hurts, though significantly less now. The worst part is definitely when you're actually passing anything. Since I don't have a nurse hovering over me with more injections, I've been managing with some Dolokain cream (an anesthetic) and Ketonal, which helps dull everything down. The worst of it is behind me, and things are looking up. Don't be terrified to go in for surgery. Anyone dealing with these damn hemorrhoids knows exactly how much they can wreck your life for several days. I won't lie—having someone poking around back there isn't exactly a walk in the park, but it's definitely not the "one day and you're done" fairy tale some people claim it is. My friends and I know I finally got my life back.