steeltiger2 said:Honestly, if things go south, he’ll probably be the one to walk away from me anyway...
And I definitely don't want things to spiral, because I'll end up in a hospital bed at this rate.
What does "trusting him" even mean in this context?
I believe he won't cheat on me. I'm not constantly terrified that I'll lose him overnight. I truly believe he loves me right now.
The real fear—the actual anxiety—is that someone better will show up eventually. Like, one bright, sunny morning while he's working on a big project with his colleagues, they bring in a new partner. She's incredibly attractive, maybe a bit "stunning," and she actually understands the technical side of the job. They grab a coffee to talk shop, and he starts enjoying her company so much that he realizes—not even thinking about it, just feeling it deep down—that he'd rather spend his time with her than with me.
Say she talks to him about specialized medicine that he's passionate about (which is an area I know absolutely nothing about), and she's clearly at a higher professional level. He respects her, admires her as a powerhouse in the medical field, feels understood by her, finds her motivating, and, well, she flirts with him too... then one day, he just comes home and tells me, almost casually, how much he feels drawn to this doctor, just so I'd know... that would just break me.
So, I find myself spinning these entire scenarios in my head, sometimes completely out of nowhere. It just pops in. Is he really to blame for that?🤷
isss,
you can't stop him from meeting people.
BUT YOU CAN MAKE SURE NO ONE IS BETTER THAN YOU TO HIM!
You can work on YOURSELF.
You can be that warm, loving presence, the person who offers him things no one else can. You can focus on US, instead of living in fear that someone else will come along.
There are ALWAYS plenty of "better" people out there.
The key is being the best version of yourself for him,
and you obviously won't be able to do that if you're constantly paralyzed by anxiety.
It's like you're in a beautiful ocean, but instead of swimming and diving and looking at tropical fish, you're just terrified that some shark from the deep sea might show up, and that fear is what's actually drowning you.!!!
It's all in your head, nowhere else!
If you don't want him to leave, don't be the kind of person people run away from!
BE his safe harbor.