Posts by redridge13

They’ve been staring at grades dating back to fourth grade, but everyone is sweating bullets over that final week of eighth grade🙄.

Just because they might bump up the minimum requirement for applications doesn't mean a kid actually has enough points to get in—personally, I don't think they do.
At least up until now, the last kid to actually get accepted into those oversubscribed schools usually had a few extra points to spare above the cutoff.

Do you honestly believe every kid outperforming yours just got handed a free pass on their report card?

Grades don't just magically appear at the end of the year because you went in to lecture professors about their "character"—Roger Federer already turned in all the final marks.
If your kid somehow snagged a grade they didn't earn through favoritism, they’d basically be stealing a spot from a student who actually put in the work.
Look, if you're truly convinced your kid knows more than what's on paper, there’s always the option of sitting for a final exam to prove it.

edit: And how on earth would they even accept a transfer into that school just a few days before the term ends? In the US, schools don't just let people roll in like that; there's zero chance of getting any info or having parents show up for enrollment unless it's at least two weeks before the school year wraps up.

Susan Martin4 said:I just finished showing this all to my husband—he’s a software engineer.
He agreed. I didn't. I’m looking at this through the eyes of a kid who actually wants to code—someone hungry for hands-on exercises and real practical experience. Telling a kid like that, "Actually, you should spend four years in high school studying Latin, music theory, and art instead of computer networks, algorithms, or databases, and then just wait until college to finally do what you love," feels counterproductive to me. It's just a waste of time.

And what happens if those kids just hit a wall? If they struggle through even the best prep schools and end up missing out on their dream colleges? There’s an insane amount of pressure at places like MIT. It's relentless.

So, after we finished talking, we headed over to the digital mine to scope things out. Turns out, the MIT programs saw the highest enrollment numbers, specifically pulling from schools like Lincoln High and Westside Prep. As for the vocational kids, most were coming out of the local technical colleges and the big trade school over in Chicago.

My kid is still just an elementary schooler, but he’s already convinced himself he wants to be a programmer. Honestly, I’d much rather see him skip the prep school route entirely. If he doesn't make it through a top-tier university, at least he'll have a trade to fall back on. 🕺

That’s just how the system has always worked.
Basically, the kids from the elite prep schools breeze through the math requirements but struggle hard when they hit electrical engineering or circuit design. Meanwhile, the kids from the technical schools get crushed by the advanced calculus.
(And I’m speaking from experience here—this was twenty years ago, before everything got watered down by the modern credit system.)
Not everyone who finishes a degree at a place like MIT ends up as a software engineer; there are tons of different specializations where a kid might actually find their groove, but they won't know that until they're actually in the thick of it.

I’d actually agree with you that for a heavy-hitter school, prep school is better. To be a real programmer, you need that specific mental wiring and a knack for math.
Once you have that foundation, picking up any programming language is a piece of cake.
If a kid is driven, they can always tinker with coding in their free time; honestly, with everything available online today, there's zero excuse not to.

Is he involved in anything at school right now, like a robotics club or a STEM group?

Susan James said:I'm not exaggerating at all. In fact, your example just proves that the SER is useless when it comes to evaluating a struggling middle school.
And honestly, those types of kids *should* be getting into the "better" schools.
That’s why I believe the entrance exam should be conducted by the actual school you're applying to.
Forget about these standardized National Exams and all that nonsense.

You mentioned earlier that there aren't any kids who don't struggle when transitioning to high school.
- Give me a break. There are plenty of kids who breeze through without the midnight cram sessions, the mental breakdowns, or parents losing their minds.

If we had actual entrance exams—instead of this current mess—my kid would have been able to enroll in the school they actually wanted. Instead, they got placed based on a GPA that shouldn't carry nearly as much weight, especially when you consider how inflated grades can be at some fancy private prep school in downtown Manhattan compared to elsewhere.🙂

And let me tell you, speaking as a parent of kids who didn't get into their first-choice schools, I have heard it a thousand times. I've dealt with people being incredibly condescending, claiming my "golden child" took a spot away from some kid from a rough neighborhood or a tiny rural town outside of Philly, with comments like, "Well, we all know what kind of grading standards they have over there," and other such garbage.

Honestly, I totally agree with you—going back to localized entrance exams is the only fair way to handle this.🙂

Susan James said:Nowadays, you can make up ground with the entrance exam. Up until about a year ago, some schools allowed for a different path, though it was tougher—just 5 points from the exam, plus points for medical issues, socioeconomic status, or academic competitions. Even now, the margin is so thin that a kid really has to crush that exam. Those tiny decimals matter, especially when you consider how much grades from 5th and 6th grade can mess up the final ranking.

Regarding American History.
First off, middle schools vary wildly in their standards. After that whole School for Life project and the push for teacher autonomy, the results have shifted; what kids actually learn and what they need to know for a grade 'A' varies. This leads to a massive wave of 'A's that might not actually be earned, or 'B's that would easily be 'A's in a different middle school.
The kids know this.

Secondly, this constant pressure to be "excellent" at absolutely everything is just overkill. Does a programmer really need to be a master of English literature, or is being very good enough? Seriously, "very good" is plenty! Especially when you think about kids who are naturally gifted in math—for them, numbers are a much more intuitive way to express themselves than words. Does a future doctor, who likely goes through a STEM-focused high school, really need to memorize every single historical date perfectly? Or is it okay if they just know them well, or even just okay? (Though, personally, I think it's better if they don't know *too* much, so they don't get caught up in political medicine).

Sure, high school is supposed to provide a broader education, and that's how it should be. But it isn't normal for half a classroom to be perfect at everything. Unless, of course, we've lowered the bar for what "excellence" means.
And I'm afraid we have. At this rate, an 'A' is becoming the new 'C'.

It’s hard to say who actually struggles with the transition to high school. That’s the kind of data SER doesn't provide, so it stays invisible to the average person.
Those are the kids who are studying from dawn till dusk. First, they have to fill the gaps left by their middle school, and then they have to pick up the intense study habits that high school demands. Those kids are out there.
Then there are the kids who just give up and move to "easier" schools.
And then there are the kids who end up seeing a psychiatrist... first in secret, and then later asking for special accommodations in school at the expense of their own well-being. If it's even one child per generation, that's too many.
There are other statistics kids fall into, but I won't go there. A parent really needs to understand their own child's specific needs and personality.
SER gives us averages and the majority view. And it's great when a kid fits right in. But what happens when they don't?

I think you're blowing things out of proportion; there are plenty of kids who transition to high school without any issues, without studying day and night, or ending up in therapy.
I know a kid who came from a pretty rough middle school—bad neighborhood, zero structure—and ended up at one of the most prestigious high schools in Washington, D.C.
On the initial placement exams, this kid was one of the best, even outperforming the "legacy" kids from wealthy families and elite private schools.
In the end, they breezed through high school, finishing as one of the top three students in the class.
Nothing extra was done during middle school, and they didn't even go to private tutors.
So, it really comes down to the individual kid. Based on their background and social status, this student shouldn't have stood a chance.
What that kid actually lacked was confidence during testing compared to the loud, arrogant kids who walked in acting like they owned the place (even though they had zero foundation).

Benjamin Johnson7 said:Well, a 72 isn't actually a bad score at all; those are averages around a 3.6 or 3.7, which is plenty if you're just dealing with a few Bs in some of the core subjects.

The National Exam results are frankly disastrous regarding actual knowledge; if we went by them, we wouldn't even have 10% of the honors students in the entire US.
I sincerely hope the National viewing numbers are taken into account during admissions, because the projected number of students hitting a 4.0 GPA is becoming truly unrealistic.

72 isn't terrible, but unfortunately, it's not enough for most of the major high schools in Washington, D.C.
I don't think high schools in any other American city have entry thresholds like this.

stormymarlin22 said:The entrance exams for those elite prep schools these days are basically just math tests to filter out the top kids. If they actually wanted to make the exam carry more weight for admissions—even though it already counts for 10 points, which isn't nothing—they'd probably need to overhaul the whole thing first.

Exactly. You'd basically have to tear down and rebuild the whole damn system from scratch.

Michelle Nelson4 said:Exactly. But let’s be real—if you don't show up for the exam, it doesn't matter how high your GPA is; a 4.8 won't save you if you aren't there. It's a total disqualification.

Look, it’s simple: the entrance exam needs to carry way more weight than the overall GPA. That’s the only way this works.
If some kid walks in with, say, 72 points based on his grades, but the exam is only worth 10%? He’s basically DOA regardless of how hard he tests.
He’d have to ace that exam perfectly, while someone coming in with a perfect 4.0 would have to fail it miserably just to stay even.
It’s totally unrealistic.

The way things are set up now, those exams are really just there to help filter through all the overachievers when the school hits capacity and can't take everyone.

Michelle Nelson4 said:Oh, I completely agree. It feels like we're constantly reading posts from people within the school administration implying that parents are somehow "unstable" if they don't have a perfect 4.0. There's such an immediate, public backlash whenever someone questions things, where they reflexively blame "overbearing moms" with this palpable sense of condescension, acting as if the student had no other choice. Honestly, it feels like a deep-seated systemic issue that's taken root...

If you ask me, there are definitely parents out there who are way too "hands-on"🙂
those are the ones who'll still be sitting there hovering over their kids' homework even when they're halfway through college.

Sarah Hall53 said:Not really—I mean, if only having dyslexia, dysgraphia, and all those other "dis-" conditions actually meant getting extra time on entrance exams.

Look, you can sit there staring at a prompt for three hours straight if you don't know how to solve the problem, but it doesn't matter—you're still stuck. 🙂

Michelle Nelson4 said:Personally, I still hold her responsible. She didn't fulfill her parental duty regarding supervision. You can't just let a child navigate everything on their own without maintaining at least some level of oversight over the situation.

But honestly, that doesn't change the core issue—which is that the system itself is fundamentally broken. If a student has a 4.8 GPA, they should be able to enroll in an elite prep school without any hiccups. It feels like Americans are living in a fantasy land where we're surrounded by thousands of "perfect" students with straight A's who then end up performing well below average on actual tests. Or look at those standardized national exams, where maybe 0.1% of kids get top marks, yet somehow 20% of them claim to have had perfect scores throughout all four years of high school because they're supposedly "straight-A geniuses."

So, the real question is: what does that GPA actually represent? 😉 And would they even pass the entrance exam?

The entrance exam would probably solve everything, but my guess is we'd just end up with a whole new batch of pissed-off parents.

By the way, back when I was applying for college (a lifetime ago 🙂), there were people who had maxed out their points based on grades alone and *still* couldn't hit the minimum cutoff.
You can't claim to have a 4.0 and then fail to solve a few basic physics or math problems.
Grades, unfortunately, haven't been a real measure of intelligence for a long time now.

@Michelle Nelson4
The whole system is a total joke.
If you ask me, they should bring back entrance exams—make grades worth 40% and the exam 60%, then we’d actually be getting somewhere...
They scrapped them under the guise of "reducing student stress" (yeah, right?), and now we’re stuck dealing with this absolute madness regarding GPA and grading inflation.

Honestly, if they just brought back those entrance tests, it would help weed out some of the issues we're seeing with dyslexia diagnoses and all the other nonsense currently flooding the schools.

@redridge13, don't sleep on these kids

I was reading this thread about how kids as young as fifth or sixth grade are already deep in the weeds, debating which high schools to aim for and what the tuition looks like.
My little one actually started asking me about local high school options back in fifth grade because her friend’s older sister was going through the enrollment process at the time.

If you check the data on sites like GreatSchools, the stats might be from last year, but they give you a solid look at the trends for every school in the district—you can basically track the trajectory over the last five or six years if you dig.

Looking at that whole situation with the family over in Chicago, I’d say both the parents and the kid totally misjudged the situation.
And well, you know how it goes... once things go south, it’s all over the news.

You honestly think some kid in 8th grade couldn't just hop onto a site like CollegeBoard, plug his grades into a GPA calculator, and see exactly where he stands with his top school choices?
I mean, he could easily slot two reach schools on his list—places where he's right on the edge—and then fill out the rest with safer bets where he’s almost guaranteed to get in.

Look, I’ll be the first to admit that this whole enrollment system is a mess, but it actually works fine in most cities... except for here in Los Angeles.
Living here is just a total circus.
On the bright side, at least we have a massive selection of private high schools to choose from if the public ones fail us.

edit: Just looking at some stats for a top-tier prep school nearby—with a 4.8 GPA, he should have been golden.
Yearly Points | Minimum | Average | Maximum
2022 | 73.86 | 75.8 | 80

Michelle Nelson4, what you’re talking about is just basic support for your kid.

If you were actually mapping out their entire life path for them, then yeah, we'd be talking about overbearing ambition here. 🙂

I think I made my point pretty clear regarding where the line is drawn when it comes to parents "interfering" with schoolwork—if a kid expresses an interest in something and asks for help, you back them up and make it happen whenever possible.
But honestly? Everything else—me stepping in to make decisions *for* the kid, or grinding away preparing extra workbooks and study guides they didn't even ask for (which, let's be real, kids that age are more than capable of finding their own interests)
is way too much in my book.

Regarding this one:
Look, let me cut to the chase before I ramble on too long—our kid’s success isn't actually thanks to the school system, and honestly, that’s the real issue here. It’s mostly down to the hours I spend working with them and all the private tutoring sessions I feel are absolutely essential.
Why bother with tutors if the school was doing its job?

In my book, "lifelong learning" definitely doesn't mean "sitting at the kitchen table with Mom from first grade all the way through college." It’s pretty obvious we all have wildly different takes on what education looks like and how much parents should be stepping in to carry the load🙂.

Good luck to you too!

It’s always fascinating reading how parents view grades and academic achievement... it makes me wonder, were your parents actually this hands-on when you were growing up?

I’m seeing all these kids paying for private tutors just to scrape by, and honestly, it feels like they're just buying their way through. It's one thing if you're struggling to hit a passing grade, but if someone already has a B and they're paying extra just to squeeze out an A? That's just ridiculous. 🤷
Is this whole mess driven by overbearing parents—like my nephew who somehow pulls a 4.0 GPA despite barely trying—or is it just this broken, nightmare enrollment system we have? Or maybe it's a toxic mix of both. 🤷

*Look, I’m generally against the whole tutoring craze. I truly believe the curriculum in elementary school is designed for their age group, and kids should be able to grasp it on their own. If they can manage a C, then a C is what they get.
I don't even know when this tutoring obsession started. Back when I was in school, nobody was paying for extra help in middle school, high school, or heaven forbid, college (though I hear even professors are getting paid for private sessions these days). If you can't handle the workload of a specific high school or university, maybe that's just not the right place for you.

@Dennis Alvarez2

Look, this isn't about that "lifelong learning" thing you’re obsessed with—which, by the way, I don't even think you actually read anywhere? I'm not on board with that concept either.
My whole vibe is just letting my kid focus on school without breathing down their neck. I'm not trying to force my own old ambitions or my specific ideas about what high school should look like onto them. That's not how I roll.

I mean, seriously? Sitting down with a seventh grader for extra tutoring just so they can snag an A+? Honestly, I don't know. To me, that feels like way too much pressure.

stormymarlin22 said:The thing is, most high schools here have entrance exams, but they set the cutoff scores so high—like, 76 or 77 points—so if you're sitting at 72, you don't even get a shot at taking the test.

Idiots.
They seriously need to bring back the entrance exams and fix that ridiculous grade-to-exam ratio I was talking about earlier.

But honestly, this isn't some brand-new issue that just popped up overnight, so why is the school board acting like they've never seen a problem before? It's exhausting.

Sarah Hall53 said:He’d probably want some fancy math academy—or honestly, his mom would probably push him toward one—and I mean strictly those elite ones that have those grueling entrance exams, you know? The kind that are all high-end and trendy and just... prestigious.
The problem is, any school he could actually get into is like an hour's drive away, which is such a nightmare! It doesn't even matter that his elementary school was halfway across town, because that place was super upscale and exclusive, so getting there wasn't even an issue back then. 😉

I don't think these scores are high enough for any of the top-tier STEM academies, based on the calculator I checked on GreatSchools.org
He wouldn't even make the cut for a decent local technical school like Bronx Science.

rustyowl7 said:I wouldn't say 72 points is a small amount at all. It seems as though if you don't have a perfect 4.0 GPA, you aren't cut out for prep school and won't be able to achieve anything. That certainly doesn't feel right...

Honestly, she’s right—a 72 average is closer to a 3.5 than a 4.0.

I totally agree that this whole setup is broken. We should go back to the old way they used to handle admissions across all school districts—just make it 40% GPA and 60% entrance exam scores.
Seriously, what was wrong with the old system? It actually made sense.