got a question on the pill heading out on a trip in about two weeks and I really don't want to be bleeding during that time. Looks like it might happen since I'm right at the end of my pack😁
I was thinking about stopping the active pills a few days early, switching to the placebo, and then starting a new pack immediately (basically acting like I missed a pill) just to trigger my "period" earlier than scheduled.
how smart is that? any chance I'll screw something up?
guessing option A isn't recommended, and for option B—I really don't want breakthrough bleeding for the next two weeks. That happened once before when I took two packs back-to-back without the placebo (I forgot a pill and chose that route).
🤷
Don't stop taking the active pills—especially don't skip a bunch of them—because you could end up getting pregnant! The only way to actually delay your period is to skip the placebo pills, though that's not really recommended, especially if you just did that recently.
Angela Wright said:Oncologists aren't just throwing words around—they really do mean what they say. He’s heading in for radiation, and at this stage, those tumors are super sensitive to it. Since his immune system took a hit, the malignancy basically woke up. Up until now, his body was keeping it in check, but all this recent stress just pushed things over the edge. It sucks that you're dealing with this extra layer on top of everything else. You know how it goes—when it rains, it pours. Honestly, my life has been one giant mess since my mom got sick. Ever since 2005, it's just been one thing after another—total chaos. Just when you think you've finally caught a break or handled a situation, boom, something else hits you... that's just how life rolls for some people. You end up feeling resigned, frustrated, or just completely fed up. I'm kind of feeling all of that at once, honestly.
I'm so sorry—I really hope things settle down for you guys soon. I totally get it; all those emotions just swirl together, but I try to stay positive—there's no other way to keep moving through life.
It’s so hard when someone you love gets sick, whether they're young or old—you're never truly ready to let go, and it always feels too soon. But I truly believe that as long as our loved ones have us by their side, they'll be stronger and braver. Even when we can't physically step in or take the weight off their shoulders, I think being there mentally makes a huge difference. Just hang in there and keep the faith!!
I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about how much our digital spaces shape our actual sense of community. It’s easy to get lost in the noise, but there’s something deeply rewarding about finding those pockets of genuine connection online. It reminds me of those small, local coffee shops back home—the kind where you don't necessarily know everyone's life story, but you feel a shared sense of belonging just by being in the room. That's what I strive for here. I believe that even in a vast, sprawling landscape like the internet, we can maintain a level of sincerity and mutual respect if we make a conscious effort. It isn't always easy to stay earnest when everything feels so fast-paced and reactive, but I truly believe the quality of our conversations defines the quality of our experience. I’m looking forward to seeing more of these meaningful exchanges as we move forward. kaže: There’s just no protection. 😉
Since when has that been the case? My gynecologist always told me that you’re fully protected during the pill break. Honestly, if I remember correctly, I even read in the medication instructions that the protection remains effective throughout the placebo days as well.
So, our Oncologist broke the news today—Dad has lung cancer, which apparently triggered that pulmonary embolism and the leg thrombosis... Back in early April, his lung scan showed just that one spot, the same one from a year ago they thought was just tuberculosis. But by the end of April, this new shadow popped up, and now they're calling it cancer. The doctor said it was all a fluke discovery since they were only scanning his lungs because of the embolism. She claims it's an early stage—like, it won't even start causing real trouble for a few years. Her suggestion? Just tiny daily doses of radiation for a few seconds at a time—she says if he were healthy, he wouldn't even feel it. It’s basically preventative since the tumor is so small and localized. Ultimately, it’s his call, and of course, he's decided to go for it. According to her, it's curable. I'm honestly reeling. After everything else he's been through, just when he was finally starting to turn a corner and recover, now this hits us. I mean, how much more is my dad supposed to take 😢. What are the actual survival rates like? Is "curable" really a thing here? After everything we've dealt with, I'm feeling pretty skeptical about all of it. Also, any tips on how to make the radiation easier on him?
My dad had a total turnaround too—honestly, he’s such an inspiration. He pulled through even when everyone said there was zero chance; he was pretty down for a few days, but since yesterday, it's like a whole new man! He’s actually talking to us, looking at us... he just accepted how things are and realized the only way forward is focusing on recovery. The only thing bugging me is that they had a medical board meeting on Wednesday. They wouldn't give us the actual results (especially with those tumor markers worrying us), they just told my mom they were done with their part. They said he's still weak, so it's best to move him over to pulmonary so he can keep recovering before heading home. My folks actually pushed for him to go to a different ward instead, because after all that treatment in pulmonary, he basically lost his footing. They were supposed to move him today, but then the nurses told my mom they're still waiting on the vascular surgeon for the wound, plus the cardiologist and the oncologist 😕. We’re totally lost. Mom thinks maybe it's because the hospital knows Dad is in this state because they dropped the ball, so now they're doing everything under the sun—necessary or not—just to cover their tracks. Like, they even tested him for hepatitis, for instance . But hey, we don't know for sure; we really need to sit down and talk to the doctor.
I honestly don't know what to think anymore—it's just one worry after another.
Linda Morales66 said:🙂🙂🙂I honestly feel like screaming, throwing my phone across the room, and just disappearing to some deserted island!!! I totally get why Mom wants to be at home—but now she’s started calling me too (first call at 6 AM!) and counting everything up to 16 because she's desperate to die at home... and I really do understand that feeling... but the reality is she's immobile, incontinent, her mental state is a mess, she's in constant pain, and she's on 24/7 medication... my dad is already losing his mind over all this; he’s dying to bring her back home to live with them (they live alone), but even he's struggling with blood pressure and heart issues from the stress... he can barely manage himself as it is, so how on earth could he handle her?? ...I'm just trying to balance everything, but I am seriously hitting my breaking point—especially being pregnant and feeling completely unraveled right now.... She was always the "general" of the house, and it's obvious Dad is spiraling because that old "routine and regime" he lived by is totally shattered—but I don't even know how to deal with it anymore.. I just can't... I know what most of you will say—that it’s best if he brings her home and tries his absolute best to be there for her—but look, he can't even take care of himself right now, let alone someone else... and yeah, I know there are home health aides, but that isn't enough since they're only there for an hour or two... what about during the night? What then? Given her diagnosis (which I mentioned above), how is that even possible?? Plus, she’s been prescribed Haldol, 10mg in the morning and at night, and instead of calming her down, she just keeps complaining constantly, which Dad takes really hard (he just can't seem to grasp that she's actually sick and this isn't just a phase!)... so he ends up crying... and I'm just stuck in the middle, mentally checked out... I'm just completely overwhelmed... maybe it's just a crisis, who knows? Please don't judge me, I might sound selfish... (or maybe I actually am??!!) 😢😢 😢 😢
Mom is best off where she is. In the hospital, she gets everything she needs. Your dad wouldn't be able to handle caring for her on his own. It's hot out, she'd need her linens and clothes changed every single day, and the nurses already know how to do that through their training, especially since she's immobile. They know how to turn her and make sure she doesn't develop pressure sores. If she starts feeling bad, they're right there; if she's in pain, they just put something in her IV. They monitor her 24/7.
For example, my dad was discharged from the hospital way too early. He was only home for a week before he had to be rushed back because he was doing so poorly. Why? Because my mom and sister didn't have the knowledge or experience to look after him. He almost slipped into a coma and died; within seven days, the paramedics had to come five times to give him an IV because he was so dehydrated. We couldn't even get blood drawn at home until the seventh day when a home health nurse finally did it—his blood sugar was low and his labs were a disaster. It's a miracle he's alive. In the hospital, they watch all of that. My mom and sister didn't sleep a wink those seven days—constantly turning him, watching him, trying everything to make him better, but he just kept getting worse. Then the abdominal pains started because he hadn't eaten for so long, and once he finally started eating a little, the hospital could just give him meds via IV immediately. At home, they were totally helpless.
So, just do Mom a favor and make sure she gets the absolute best care possible right now. And honestly—now that my Dad is more conscious—he’s just over it; he wants to go home and has had enough of everything. It breaks our hearts seeing him so depressed and down, but we've accepted that being back home is what's actually best for him—it's easier for us to know she's okay there too. And listen, that isn't being selfish—this whole situation is just incredibly heavy, so please don't go thinking you're being selfish or whatever. Just hang in there and do your best; be there for Dad, but you've gotta look out for yourself and the baby, too. If things get overwhelming one day, just take a breather—I'm sure Mom would want you to prioritize yourself and the little one.
I’m honestly counting down the minutes until Dad gets home. Fingers crossed those lab results come back clear so they can discharge him this Wednesday after the doctors make their call. It’s been so rough on him—he’s spiraling into this deep depression, and he actually told Mom today that he feels like he's going to die in the hospital... he's just so worried about how we'll manage without him. Mom said he was crying, which is wild because he's never been the type to cry at all—not even once. We’re all heading over there now—Mom, my sister, and me—just to sit with him and try to talk things through, but he's barely eating or drinking anything. This whole leg situation has just crushed his spirit 😢. I just need these next three days to fly by; I think seeing his own house will finally give him that spark to start feeling better..... We’re honestly at a loss for how to reach him. We keep telling him how much we love him and that we’re right by his side—reminding him that he’s more than just his physical limitations and that we need him home soon. He settles down for a second when we say that, but then it’s like he just stops listening or doesn't believe us . Any advice on how to handle this? I’m terrified he won't pull through physically, even though he actually started showing signs of recovery .
Angela Wright said:I think his gut is just settling back in—that’s probably why he’s feeling a bit off. It’ll pass. Usually, you're just waiting a few days for the lab results. Just stick to light stuff like chicken and rice so his system can recover without being too much work for him. So sorry to hear about your uncle 😢
We're all praying Dad turns out okay—everything is looking up, actually. He’s starting to get his appetite back, which is huge, and Mom is basically playing chef, cooking whatever he craves and bringing it to the hospital every day. Plus, his blood work improved—everything is pretty much back within the normal range now. They’re running a CT scan on his head just to cover all the bases, even though his brain scans looked fine; we're just hoping they're being thorough because they're doing everything by the book.
As for my uncle, Mom talked to him today—he’s been dealing with some bacterial colitis that caused major weight loss and weakness over the last three months, which is why he went in for a colonoscopy. It turned out they found rectal cancer, but thankfully it’s an early-stage adenocarcinoma and hasn't spread, so they're looking at radiation and chemo. We’re staying positive that he'll pull through since it was caught so early. He’s actually a doctor working over in Germany, so I'm confident he’ll get top-tier care there and be just fine. Mom is really worried about Grandma, though—she’s devastated. Being older, she thinks everyone is just sugarcoating things to protect her, and she’s convinced the worst is coming. I honestly have so much respect for my mom right now. She’s juggling worrying about Dad, my uncle, and now her own mother.
And thanks for everything, seriously. Waiting on test results is the hardest part—you try to tell yourself everything will be fine, but until those papers actually come in, hearing other people's experiences and thoughts really helps keep us steady.
I don't even know where to start. Now that my dad has finally started eating again after nearly three months of nothing, his digestion is acting up—it's a mess. He’s having rectal pain, though it isn't constant—just whenever he has to go to the bathroom. Is it possible that since he wasn't eating and was mostly just on IV fluids, there's old stool stuck in there, and now that he's eating, the new stuff is pushing against it and causing all this pain?
Because honestly, there aren't any other pains besides when he's using the restroom—he's actually feeling hungry again and eating, so he seems to be recovering and doing better overall.
But still, he hasn't eaten much and has just been hooked up to an IV for months...
They drew blood yesterday to check for markers for lung, liver, gallbladder, colon, stomach, and prostate cancer... does anyone know how long it usually takes to get those results back?
His bowel movements are regular and a bit softer, probably because he's getting so much fluid...
I'm just really worried. My grandma passed away from colon cancer, and while my dad never had digestive issues, didn't eat junk, and stayed at a healthy weight, I can't help but worry.
He's also slowly recovering from an amputation, so it's just this rectal discomfort hitting him right when he needs to use the toilet.
And then today, my mom found out her brother was diagnosed with colon cancer too.
Does anyone know of any good supplements for digestion? My dad hasn't really eaten much for months now—maybe because he isn't moving around as much—and his gut pain is just constant and brutal. He’s dealing with these intense cramps, but he can actually go to the bathroom, so we aren't looking for a laxative to empty him out... we just need something to help relax those muscles.
Dad got moved to a regular ward today—can't wait to go see him. He wasn't on the Seroquel yesterday, and honestly, he seemed totally himself. We were just sitting there telling him how much we love him and how pumped we are to get him back home. Then, out of nowhere, he starts spinning this story about some guy who passed away... basically saying his kids didn't realize how much they needed him until it was too late. He even went as far as giving the guy a specific name—he definitely made the whole thing up on the spot. I can't tell if he’s trying to hint that he’s worried about being a burden to us?? It feels like we haven't spent a single day without running to the hospital for the last few months—usually several times a day. Between the bathing, the repositioning, the massages, the feeding, and just constant care... we've given him everything we have. It really hurts knowing there isn't anything else left for us to do. So then, after he tells that little manufactured story, I just told him straight up that it had nothing to do with us and that we love him no matter what. He just kind of dropped it after that..
Angela Wright said:Hang in there, sweetie. The main thing is he’s in the hospital now. They’ll get him patched up and he’ll be back home before you know it. How's he actually handling everything—you know, the amputation?
It’s hard to tell how he’s doing mentally. He’s been on constant Seroquel for a while, so he hasn't really been himself lately. He gets pretty lost—rambling about stuff from way back, even hallucinating a bit. When he talks, he just stares around the room instead of looking us in the eye... unless I specifically ask him to look at me, then he’ll make eye contact and give me a little wink..
He keeps asking us to bring him crutches so he can walk—even though he knows deep down he's missing a leg—but I guess in his head, he thinks he can manage with those and the one leg he has left. It feels like he still has that spark and wants to find a way through, but they aren't giving him the Seroquel for nothing; he's restless and probably a bit high-strung, so they're just trying to keep him calm.
And since he's dealing with a pressure sore, he's in pain and just wants to move around—he's restless at night, too. Plus, he's got a chest tube right now because of a pneumothorax, so they might have bumped up his dose, and he's restrained again. I get that it's all for his own good, but I really hope they can eventually get him off the Seroquel so he can actually face reality properly and start moving forward. We keep telling him how much we love him and how grateful we are that he's still here with us—honestly, it's a miracle he survived all that. I think he wants to be here with us too, and he loves us... I just hope that's enough to pull him through.
Hey again, I've been a bit MIA lately... So, here's the update: Dad finally made it back home from Washington, D.C., but he wasn't even settled for a week before the ER had to show up five different times—so he ended up being transferred to a hospital in Miami. His blood work was looking pretty rough, which makes sense since he hasn't been eating or drinking anything at home; while he was out in D.C., they were able to keep him on an IV and give him everything he needed. Even so, they sent him home just a month after he was admitted, despite it being less than two weeks since his second amputation. About that shadow on his lungs—the one they spotted after the pulmonary embolism even though his markers were negative back then—they did a biopsy the day before yesterday. We won't have those results until next week, but he actually developed a pneumothorax, so he's in the ICU right now. Honestly, physically he seems okay while they're running his IV and all that, he's just a little out of it here and there—but he’s on Seroquel, so that’s probably why. I'm really praying that spot on the lung doesn't mean anything bad; he doesn't have a fever or a cough, it just showed up after the embolism when it wasn't there before.
My heart goes out to all of you and your loved ones—hang in there, stay strong, keep the faith, and just be there for them.
Angela Wright said:That's awesome! The whole bed situation sounds like a total game changer—definitely wasn't an option like that back when my mom needed care. It looks like they bumped up the nursing time too. Before, you were lucky to get 45 minutes a day max. Honestly, that's plenty—you don't need to overthink the pressure sores. Once you apply Granuloflex, you just leave it alone for three days. The real win here is having someone there daily to handle the changing and washing, plus a full bath once a week... that takes such a huge weight off your shoulders. Dad needs to get to a rehab center in a place like Florida or Arizona ASAP to get moving again—otherwise, his muscles will just waste away from sitting still, and then rehab becomes a whole different beast.
We've called everywhere, and one facility even offered it for free until Dad can get back to his own bed. I'm pretty worried about it myself—ever since he got those artificial hips, he's basically been housebound. He hasn't really stepped foot outside the yard in years. His muscles have already started shrinking, and honestly, all that sitting around combined with smoking and atherosclerosis probably didn't help with the clogged arteries... I'm just hoping the rehab specialists teach him some exercises he can actually do at home. He'll head out the second he's steady enough—right now he's too weak to even sit up... But hey, one step at a time—fingers crossed things start looking up.
Angela Wright said:Just head straight to his primary care doctor—get that home health nurse scheduled ASAP since Dad’s already covered for it. They’ll send someone out to handle all those wound dressings and help out with everything else—even a weekly bath—so you aren't stuck doing it all alone. When it comes to beds, your best bet is to just give some nursing homes a ring—both the private ones and the state-run facilities—and ask if they ever rent out their extra gear. Honestly, a lot of them have plenty of stock sitting around just waiting to be used, probably for something like $300 or so.$133 Do it monthly. And seriously—make sure you grab that mattress I was telling you about before—nothing else actually works. Maybe check in with Catholic Charities to see if they can help out with a bed—they usually ask for a written request along with a copy of the discharge papers, but they often have stuff available. Also, the Hospice Friends Association might be an option too; they typically just need the medical history, and then you sign a waiver to take the bed. Of course, it all depends on what they actually have in stock right now. You should probably try to get everything lined up ASAP so we can get Dad settled in.
EDIT: You really gotta push for his doctor to swing by the house once he's settled back in—it’s so important that they actually see the setup and get a feel for how things are going in person. Honestly, it’s part of their job, and building that rapport is a total game-changer when you're dealing with someone in this situation!
Thanks, we actually managed to score a bed—didn't cost us a dime. Same deal with the mattress—the hospital's just gonna write it off as a gift, along with the IV bags and everything else. My mom’s actually a dentist working at a local community clinic—where their family doctor is based too—so luckily she knows the ropes. She told us that Dad is entitled to an hour of nursing care every day, but I was just worried about his pressure sore... honestly, I figured those wounds need more frequent dressing changes than that, which is why I was asking. Thanks! 🙂.
We were told Dad might be heading home this Friday. We’re honestly a bit skeptical—he isn't quite back to his old self yet—but things are definitely looking up. We’re gonna try to grab a hospital bed to have ready before he’s fully recovered. Now we're stepping up to manage his pressure sores ourselves. Does anyone know how often these need to be dressed, or what kind of supplies we actually need to stay on top of it? Angela Wright, if you could weigh in—you mentioned something about this last time—any bit of advice would be a lifesaver. Thanks 🙂.
My dad ended up in the hospital with this killer pain in his leg, but honestly, nobody even bothered to check if he had a pulse, let alone order an angiography—just total neglect. After sitting there for a month and a half, they finally let him go, claiming it was clogged vessels caused by a clot, and told him to come back in two months for a follow-up. Well, my mom wasn't having any of it; she rushed him over to the Mayo Clinic the very next day. Now he's in the ICU after undergoing two surgeries in just two weeks—first, they had to amputate above the knee because gangrene had already set in, and then they had to do hip surgery because his arteries were completely blocked. The doctors actually said it’s a miracle he survived all that. It hasn't even been a month since all that chaos, so there's no way we're waiting two months for that first hospital's follow-up.
Angela Wright said:Dad will probably head straight to some rehab center—maybe somewhere in the mountains—since he needs to start working on those remaining limbs ASAP to get stronger and adapt to the "new normal." He’ll likely need a wheelchair, too, because honestly, without hips, using a prosthetic is gonna be a huge struggle. Definitely look into all the perks he'll get through his disability benefits, from reserved parking to other stuff. Seriously, check it out!
There is a prosthetic, sure, and while he won't be walking quite like he used to, being able to limp along is way better than being stuck in a chair forever. I'm thinking he'll just head home first before doing any rehab—he's in rough shape right now. Like I mentioned, he's lost a lot of weight and doesn't even have the strength to sit up, so he needs to recover first. Rehab is going to be brutal, especially trying to walk with a prosthetic when most of the weight falls on his good leg—and that leg was already shaky since he has an artificial hip and never really worked it out. Plus, he wasn't very active before, just hanging around the house and yard, which probably didn't help with the clogged arteries, atherosclerosis, or the smoking... so he's really gotta move more now for the sake of his health. The more he moves, the easier it'll get.
So, my hip basically popped out of place. How long am I looking at for recovery, and what kind of prosthesis is actually worth it—something super stable but won't totally kill my mobility? I'd love to hear any advice or personal stories you guys have.