Posts by Jesse Cruz3

Jesse Cruz3 ---> clear some stuff out of your inbox 😁

Carol Nguyen63 said:I totally get where you're coming from. I’ve spent a lot of time overthinking everything myself, and I often find myself stuck without any real answers. On the surface, I act like I’ve got it all together—like nothing can touch me—but then one day I just wake up and realize the weight of it all is hitting me hard, just not in the usual way. It’s more like I'll just retreat into a corner, turn off the lights, have a good cry, and then try to move on with my life.
It’s honestly better to just lean into it—to let yourself be upset, cry it out, and shed every tear you've got—rather than letting all that emotional junk pile up until one tiny little thing causes the whole heap to spill over. Trust me, feeling the sting now is much safer than trying to distract yourself by painting your nails just to avoid facing what's actually happening.😢
That being said, are you really certain there aren't any solutions waiting down the road? You aren't going to be stuck in this exact spot forever, right?😢
And regarding college, are you actually studying something you're passionate about?

I’ve been hit by this sudden dread about what my life is actually going to look like.
I don't know, lately I was all about "going out, partying, wasting time," while everything else just sat on the back burner... then some things happened and certain people came along who actually forced me to think—to want independence, to travel... but all of that feels lightyears away until I find a job or finish my degree... and there's still so much time left. I think those desires were always there, but maybe it finally clicked that I'm not getting younger, quite the opposite. If I don't take action now, will I just wake up one day realizing I haven't gone anywhere, accomplished nothing, and my life is a total wash?
The biggest trigger for this crisis was probably this guy who moved away to chase a better life... he reminded me that he's actually out there (in the places I've always wanted to be), while I'm still here... just the thought of being stuck here for the rest of my life is revolting.
And yeah, I am studying what I love... I'm lucky enough to have that much... 🙂 though it can get brutal at my university, which definitely drains my spirit and motivation sometimes. 😁

I've noticed that as the days go by, when I finally break down and cry, it lasts a little less time than the day before. 🙂 That's a small mercy. 🙂

Thanks for even bothering to read this nonsense and comment on it. 🙂

Carol Nguyen63 said:It sounds to me like you’re just running away. Something is eating at you, and instead of taking the time to actually sit with it and figure things out, you're doing the exact opposite: staying busy just so you don't have to think.

The thing is, my problems aren't exactly "solvable." I don't know how else to put it, but there isn't one specific thing... I just feel lost. Someone I care about deeply—and who cares about me—doesn't live in this country anymore; they're halfway across the world, and they meant everything to me. 😢So, on top of feeling lonely and stuck in an unrequited situation, I'm spiraling with questions like, "What am I even doing with my life?" or "Will I even finish this degree, and if I don't, what then? And if I do, what happens next?"
It feels like I'm in this massive existential crisis... the kind you can't fix by just sitting down and thinking, because there isn't a quick fix for these kinds of things. It's stuff that will probably only unfold over the next few years. 😕
And I'm the type of person who overanalyzes everything... so I'm not avoiding thought. I'm avoiding the fact that I've already analyzed everything thoroughly and still have absolutely no answers.
Honestly, when I really stop to think about it, that's what's killing me mentally... I see no way out. It's like staring into a massive black hole. 😕

electrictiger70 said:To me, it sounds like you're trying to avoid being alone with yourself, because the second you are, everything you've been suppressing starts bubbling up to the surface. Clearly, whatever you're pushing down is an issue. It might help to talk to someone. Not necessarily a therapist, but maybe just someone better equipped to listen.

I try not to be alone because lately, I've realized that whenever I am, the waves of emotion and despair just start hitting me again... and I'm exhausted by it. 😢I just want to feel happy and lighthearted like I used to be. 😢 But I can't seem to find my way back.

I've decided there’s no point in dumping everything I wrote on this forum, so I'll just leave it at this:

I used to be incredibly lazy. I could spend an entire week rotting in bed without feeling a shred of guilt or self-loathing.
But things have changed completely. If I don't stay busy all day long... it doesn't matter what it is—whether I'm running errands, dropping the car off at a mechanic, meeting friends for coffee, or just going for a walk—as long as I'm moving, I'm fine. I feel productive, and I can actually stop overthinking everything that's tearing me apart. But the moment I get home, once the dust settles and I find even a single second of downtime... I'm back to being a wreck. 🙄 My head starts spinning with all those old thoughts again, and I usually end up breaking down by the end of the night...

Today, I actually cleaned the entire house, which almost never happens (usually a major point of contention with my parents, by the way)... what does that tell you?
I'm making up nonsense tasks, like drinking tea three times a day or painting my nails... anything just to stay constantly occupied. It’s starting to feel a little pathological.
I don't know what's happening to me, but I get the sense that if I were still just "rotting" at home doing nothing, I would have hit rock bottom by now.
Staying active and feeling somewhat useful to myself and my family is the only thing keeping me afloat and distracting me from all the bullshit life has thrown my way. But I have to wonder... how much longer can these manufactured obligations "save" me from my actual mental state? When will these chores stop being a temporary band-aid for my lack of stability and... normalcy?

I feel like a complete emotional wreck.
Thanks.

Your cycle probably just threw you a curveball this month 😉
but if you want to be certain, just take a pregnancy test and end the guesswork

Jessica Nguyen94 said:My cycles are usually pretty consistent

The last time I had sex was around mid-September.
Since then, I’ve had my period in October, November, and December.

It was supposed to arrive on January 3rd (though sometimes it's a couple days late, so maybe January 5th).

It's already the 11th and still nothing.

Is pregnancy even a possibility if I've already had three periods?

A few days ago, I had those cramps you get right before your period starts, but nothing happened.

What else could this be?

I've spent enough time studying these topics to weigh in on just about anything.😁

What were those last three periods like?
It's generally accepted that a woman can have three periods and still be pregnant...
Everyone loves to play it safe, but I'll give you the quickest answer: just take a pregnancy test.🙂

It could just be a hormonal cycle acting up; they can be unpredictable like that. You’re probably better off seeing a gynecologist to get a proper exam so you aren't left guessing. :-)