Posts by Benjamin Grant6

I happened to flick on the television a little while ago, and I must say, I was quite pleased to see that most of the Daily News on ABC was dedicated to the issues we actually face... specifically, the complexities surrounding the diagnosis and treatment of malignant diseases.

I caught a glimpse of Angela Wright on screen, and I assume the other woman featured was the fighter girl. Honestly, you ladies deserve all the credit...

Amanda Miller69 said:My dear,
if things were truly as you suggest, I would be the happiest person alive. I spoke with the physician at the Mayo Clinic today, and he made it quite clear that we have to accept that this is simply running its course and there is nothing left to be done. The man reviewed every single test result, so it isn't a matter of me misinterpreting the situation... they deal with dozens of cases just like this every single day. My mother's friend, who is a diagnostic specialist and a close family friend—or at least, someone she trusts implicitly, and certainly someone who wouldn't lie to her child—told me the exact same thing. The malignancy has spread through her entire abdomen; the peritoneum, the liver, the gallbladder, the bladder, the intestines, and the stomach. They haven't even touched the liver or the stomach because she wouldn't survive the procedure. The metastases are systemic... do you honestly think I wouldn't give anything for my mother to recover or for some miracle to occur?
It felt as though they were using her as a "test case" at Johns Hopkins to see what could be achieved, only to avoid us once they realized the outcome... Dr. Meyer even expressed his doubts about whether surgery was even an option, mentioning before the procedure that it wasn't realistically operable.
Please, forgive me and everyone else, but I am at my breaking point and I know I am being harsh...🙂

Your state of mind is entirely understandable, and I don't perceive any rudeness whatsoever in your words. Unfortunately, fighting cancer is a battle against an unpredictable end, and it is nearly impossible to foresee anything... I am certain your family friend would not be dishonest with you. Still, might I suggest seeking a second opinion?

Hang in there and stay strong.

Grace Fowler, please remain steadfast and resolute, and continue to trust your intuition! They say patience is a virtue, and I am truly glad that your heart is guiding you through this... We Americans are fighters, and please know that you are in our thoughts...

Every update is significant news, and unfortunately—life encompasses both the light and the dark... I sincerely hope that the findings will improve very soon...

kisses

Grace Fowler said:Hello!
I don't have much good news to share :-( actually, the test results were quite poor, so we had to postpone the appointment with the German doctor by a week to see if her condition might stabilize... (there was an increase in markers, sedimentation, and CRP... though the cause remains unknown???) But as they say, patience is key.
Dear Amanda Miller69, I am so deeply sorry to hear that the latest updates regarding your mother are so discouraging; please, do not take any harsh words she may utter to heart, for they do not reflect her true spirit. The irritability she might be exhibiting is merely a reflection of the profound sadness caused by her current situation...
Sandra Evans13, I am praying for your mother, and also for you and your sister, that you may find the strength required to weather such circumstances. I understand your pain, as I faced something quite similar two years ago when I had to say my final goodbye to my father...
Best, Grace Fowler

I truly believe there is still a glimmer of hope left within you all, and that you will find ways to return your mother’s love by making this time as easy for her as humanly possible.

It breaks my heart to hear she is in such poor physical condition and that you feel as though you've reached a dead end. I can only begin to imagine the weight of the emotions you are carrying right now...

In my view, you owe no one an explanation—just try to remain brave and steady; don't let the waves of emotion pull you under, because your mother needs you to be her anchor right now. Try to stay composed when you are with her. Hang in there...

Sandra Evans13 said:After endless nights of soul-searching, consulting experts, asking every question imaginable, and scouring for any shred of hope that my sister and I—who, let's face it, are mere laypeople when it comes to medicine—could find for our mother... I think we finally came to terms with reality today. After speaking with her trusted doctor, who told us there is simply no saving her, we have accepted that we cannot cure her. All we can do now is help her navigate the time she has left with as much dignity and as little pain as possible... It is devastatingly hard to admit, but we are stepping back from the fight to focus solely on surrounding her with the love we feel for her... As I write this, the tears are blurring my vision so much I can barely see the screen; my heart just feels heavy with this crushing sense of helplessness...
Please forgive me for breaking down like this, but I know deep down that we have done everything within our power for her...
Unfortunately, we didn't realize the full extent of her condition until it was too late (a tumor in the small intestine and abdominal wall that has already spread to her lungs, liver, kidneys, and likely elsewhere...
She is in very poor health, has lost all will to fight, and is struggling with advanced osteoporosis (she's down to just 105 pounds)...
How else can I help her if not through love?
I could write an entire novel about how she sacrificed her whole life for my sister and me, but perhaps that's unnecessary since so many mothers are selfless—though mine truly is one of a kind, even now, thinking only of how to make things easier for us... Forgive me, but I am choking back tears as I type these words and simply cannot go on...
My thoughts are with everyone who still holds onto hope... mine has flickered out... Sis, please forgive me...

Amanda Miller69 said:It wasn't just the doctor’s word, but rather the official discharge papers themselves... After we left, we called Springfield to check in with the physician—since he had actually seen her and spoken with her personally—and he mentioned she was stable, though certainly not doing well. I even reached out to an old friend of my mother's who works as a diagnostician, and he was quite blunt about how grim and incredibly serious this prognosis looks; he expressed a desire to come visit her there, but since he doesn't have a car, he suggested he would stop by once he makes it back home—if he even makes it back, which was clearly a slip of the tongue...

I truly hope you can find some way to get that family friend over to see her. In our own struggle, everything pivoted on the fact that a former colleague of the parents showed up in the middle of the night—summoned by the father, who was understandably losing his mind with worry and paralyzed by those terrible test results—and stepped in to provide a personal diagnosis. He became so deeply invested, acting as both a devoted friend and a seasoned expert, that the entire fight felt somewhat more manageable because of his involvement...

Hang in there... keep your faith and do everything within your power. My thoughts are with you all.

Amanda Miller69 said:We moved Mom into the facility in Springfield, and honestly, my heart just sank when I saw the conditions there... there were eight or nine people crammed into a single room. But what’s even more devastating is the discharge summary—the pathology report shows *carcinosa metastaticum*. It states that everything was affected; the liver, intestines, gallbladder, spleen... basically the entire peritoneum. Meanwhile, back at Rebro, they try to pull the wool over our eyes like we’re toddlers... The doctor I approached today regarding an abdominal ultrasound just mumbled something under his breath and practically fled from me. In stark contrast to those people, the staff in Springfield are night and day. The doctor there actually took the time to read the discharge papers and quietly, almost sympathetically, asked if we understood the diagnosis... he seemed relieved once we confirmed we did. I cried the entire drive from Springfield back to Washington, D.C., and the tears just won't stop... The deception is finally over. That pathology report told the whole truth.🙂

No matter how much it hurts because Springfield feels so far away... if you've noticed for yourself that the care there is worlds apart, then that means things will be okay...

If we had just blindly accepted whatever they told us, who knows where we would be today. In two days, it will be exactly one year since Mom was discharged with a report stating her ovarian cancer had progressed to involve surrounding organs, including the lungs. She is doing well today, despite how grim the prognosis looked back then, and I am so grateful to everyone—especially to her and my father, for never wavering for a single second.

Our fight continues, and we rely only on ourselves.

Sometimes doctors simply don't know how to deliver a diagnosis, so I highly recommend that you don't let yourselves be misled; instead, just take it one day at a time. Hang in there... kisses

Grace Fowler said:Greetings to all my fellow warriors!!!
I read and follow along with you all every single day, though I must admit I rarely find the words to chime in.... So, six weeks have passed, and this coming Sunday, I am preparing once again for immunotherapy over in Germany... for the most part, things are going okay... the aftermath of the last surgery and chemo has been slightly more taxing than before, but it isn't entirely unbearable.....

P.S. Nancy Thomas18—hang in there, things have to get better eventually :-)
gentlemoose62—I trust you are doing well and staying upbeat; if I’m being honest, I’m almost envious of all those wonderful scents you get to enjoy out in California :-)

And to EVERYONE, every single one of you, both the new faces and the veteran fighters, I am keeping my fingers crossed and truly believing in your victory over this "beast."

Sincerely, your Dina

Stay strong! No matter how much it feels like the side effects have become a bit heavier—you are a fighter, and you simply refuse to back down!

I trust that both the travel and the immunotherapy will go smoothly! Sending you a huge hug, just keep moving forward bravely!!!!

Amanda Miller69 said:I visited her yesterday, and thank God, she was almost back to her "normal" self, though she still drifts off occasionally... She will recover, eventually. I intend to reach out once she’s discharged from the hospital on medical leave, but we’ll have to see what the doctors advise. The physician I spoke with yesterday mentioned that we would discuss the next steps of her recovery when the time is right—for now, the priority is just getting her back on her feet and ensuring she doesn't succumb to bed rest. I find myself occasionally wondering what the future holds...🙄

Angela Wright said it best... you shouldn't look too far ahead... and you certainly shouldn't let your fear show. I know firsthand how difficult this is, but try to cherish every single day you have in front of you. Recovery doesn't happen overnight, but with every passing day, things will improve...

Donna Hernandez21 said:we were discussing Dr. Haller the other day...
well, here is an article about him, and about a woman who is still thriving thanks to his care, despite some rather grim initial prognoses...

http://www.nytimes.com/article/health-success-story...8/Default.aspx

It serves as a lovely reminder that one should never truly give up...

Amanda Miller69 said:this was me after three days of failing to get any internet connection and cursing out my Comcast service...
My mother has been moved to a ward, but because of the prolonged anesthesia, she’s completely "out of it"—rambling about random things or trying to say something without actually making sense.
Yesterday she was talking about some fish, and I honestly couldn't tell if she was laughing or crying. I finally managed to catch the doctor today, who assured me this state is temporary. They did a CT scan of her head on Monday to rule out brain metastases, and thank God, it came back clear. Now, of course, it depends entirely on the individual how long this will last and what we’re going to do once they discharge her from the hospital. Perhaps a rehab facility until she recovers... The thing is, I live alone with her and have to work, so now I'm just terrified about what comes next.🤷 Any advice would be appreciated.

I'm crossing my fingers for a quick recovery, especially since the news about no metastases is such a relief!!! 🙏
A nursing home doesn't strike me as the best option. What about palliative care? Is that something that can be arranged? Have you considered taking medical leave so you can be by her side full-time?

I'm not much of an advisor... but I am thinking of you all! Hang in there...

Quote:

Grace Fowler says: Does anyone happen to be familiar with the specific diet or how to manage a stoma? I know I read something about this on the Forum a while back, but I'd rather not go hunting for it all over again.... Dear Amanda Miller69!! I am so relieved to hear that everything went relatively smoothly with your mother. In all seriousness, never, ever rely on medical prognoses—I say this from my own experience... regarding the diet for those who have undergone an ostomy, it will initially be quite light and restricted, but you will receive full instructions before your mother is discharged home... and if anything feels slightly off, please just reach out.... As for the supplies needed for stoma care, you can contact Stoma Medical (either Zoe or Mary are there) but there is plenty of time for that... I simply want you to know that we are here for you should you need any assistance... P.S. Best to everyone, Din :-))

Hey!

How have you been?
I trust you are doing well and feeling satisfied ;-) I find myself thinking of you every once in a while!

Greetings to all our Saturday regulars on the Forum; I haven't been around much lately as I was without internet access....

Kisses, and stay strong!

Donna Clark77 said:Haller is a gynecologist, and it is true that he trained and collaborated at Avian.
They were likely mentioning him because of your mother's gynecological tumor.

The Mayo Clinic is the premier American referral center for pulmonology and thoracic surgery—virtually all thoracic surgeons seek training there, as their staff possesses unparalleled experience in treating the most aggressive forms of lung carcinoma.
Therefore, if I were in Donna Hernandez21's father's shoes, I would certainly insist on going to the Mayo Clinic, if only to secure a second opinion...👍

As I mentioned, I am not an expert in this field, but one should always seek a second opinion...

Donna Hernandez21 said:I’ve been putting off posting this for a week now... as if delaying it would somehow change the reality of the situation...
My father (55 years old) was diagnosed with lung cancer last week. Current findings suggest there's a possibility the cancer is actually linked to melanoma or hepatocellular carcinoma.
He is scheduled for a transthoracic puncture this Thursday. Until then, we still don't know the exact "type" of carcinoma we are dealing with.

I honestly have no idea what to think...
Someone suggested that if he is medically fit for surgery, he should be operated on at a clinic in Jordan. Does anyone have recommendations for a specific doctor?
We are originally from a small town near Indianapolis...

I don't know... I have a hundred questions, yet I can't seem to formulate a single one... it's as if my brain has simply stopped functioning...

Thank you all..

While I may not be eloquent enough to offer expert advice, and I certainly am not an authority on lung cancer, I can only share that my mother's oncologist repeatedly urged her to seek out Avian " Haller from Rhode Island, given how much they respect him as a specialist... So, is a trip to Jordan really necessary?

Hang in there... and please, feel free to ask any question you have; there is always someone here ready to respond... kisses

Greetings to everyone from San Francisco. Unfortunately, I have been offline, and even yesterday, when I truly intended to check in—I simply couldn't 😢 (pleasant holidays arriving slightly behind schedule)

On Friday, there was an episode of "second opinion" on PBS—the topic was chemotherapy and navigating life alongside it, including ways to manage nausea and such. Sadly, I wasn't able to catch it, but my mother watched... just to be cautious, though also because the fight continues regardless of the outcome. I hope you all managed to tune in.

That evening, for the first time in quite a while, I saw genuine fear written across my mother's face. There was a movie playing on PBS about a young man battling leukemia. Initially, I insisted we watch it together, hoping to prevent her from drifting into a false sense of euphoria that everything was fine... but once I saw how nauseated she became by the whole thing, I spared her the need to relive everything she has endured...

I wish you all immense courage and nothing but good news! Stay strong and keep fighting... kisses

Angela Wright said:I won't be around the forum for about five days or so, as I am heading down to Miami for the holidays... so, my dear friends, I wanted to wish you all a happy and blessed Easter. May the hope this season brings provide you with the strength to endure your own little crosses until the very end...
Kisses to everyone

Wishing you all the best and a lovely holiday season... kisses

Amanda Miller69 said:Dear Angela Wright,
unfortunately, they can only work with blood types B- and O-, so there isn't much wiggle room there... I actually just stopped by Petrov before heading into work to donate some myself...

Sadly, my own blood type is A-, but I am truly hoping enough people stepped up so that the surgery goes smoothly... I'll be keeping you in my thoughts... hang in there...

Grace Fowler said:Greetings to all my dear warriors!!!
I am feeling quite sprightly and energetic today... 😉 I suppose there isn't much to report, other than the fact that both the immunotherapy and the electrotherapy sessions were successful; I experienced absolutely no discomfort, and everything proceeded quite smoothly... I had a lung scan performed which indicates the exact same status as three months ago, all four tumor markers I typically monitor are within normal limits, and my blood count is in excellent condition. My dear friends, I feel wonderful; it seems I always receive a bit of a tailwind just when everyone else assumes things have taken a turn for the worse... I am keeping all of you and your loved ones in my thoughts, as positive energy truly provides that extra measure of strength needed for the fight.
Everything is still quite fresh from my trip to Germany, so once I have rested a little, I shall return with all the specific details...
Warm regards, Grace

P.S. I simply wish to add that over these long nine years of battling this affliction, I have personally become convinced that the true path toward recovery—and I genuinely mean recovery—lies in combining modern medicine with alternative approaches. I mean no offense to anyone, but unfortunately, a single "magic bullet" does not exist in isolation...

It brings me immense joy to hear that everything went well and that your results are within the normal range! A smile immediately formed on my face upon reading that you are feeling so spirited and well! That is what matters most—that you feel good and maintain your positive, fighting spirit! Every piece of good news you share pushes us all to keep moving forward without faltering!

Enjoy a pleasant and well-deserved rest... and please, do write back with your impressions!

kisses

restlesscanyon16 said:That doctor’s perspective was honestly a bit jarring, wasn't it? One would assume their primary objective is to actually heal people—or at least attempt to—rather than simply dismissing us and suggesting we stop throwing money down the drain... it almost makes you wonder if they are just looking for an excuse to pad their own pockets by offering a modicum of optimism, even if it is entirely unearned... 🤷
Naturally, their cynical outlook won't deter us from fighting as hard as we possibly can, and I appreciate you sharing this link; I hadn't come across it yet, but it certainly offers a glimmer of hope. 👍

Money is such a subjective concept when it comes to one's personal wealth. If any level of assistance can make a difference, even if the medical professionals characterize it as "futile," then it remains worthwhile. In our situation, financial considerations were never the priority; our only goal was to support my mother in every way imaginable. Had we hesitated, she wouldn't be able to make her usual sarcastic remarks about how relative money truly is: "When I finally came around after surgery, I saw an ad in the paper for a fully loaded red Alfa Romeo... the price tag looked like pocket change compared to what my operation cost." None of us regret pouring everything we have into her recovery, because we believe in the fight...

Do not falter and keep fighting... especially when the doubts seem most overwhelming. Stay strong... kisses

Carol Sanchez2 said:Hey, I honestly think it’s best if we just tune out emilli and unknown. unknown—that was such a sharp response you gave them, you really are our rock in this group... 🙂 Let's get back to what actually matters... how our loved ones are doing.
Nancy Hernandez43, I'm feeling a bit scattered today, so I can't quite remember if you mentioned whether Mom already had her follow-up appointment or if it's still pending? There are so many threads moving at once that I lose my place sometimes. Perhaps it would be helpful if we all included the specific type of cancer in our thread titles; I find myself scrolling back through old posts quite often just to refresh my memory on the context, whereas having it right there in the subject line would serve as an immediate reminder. Or perhaps I'm just becoming forgetful...😵

First of all, thank you for asking! To be honest, I can no longer keep track of exactly what I’ve posted or when... but Mom did finish her check-up. She doesn't have to see the oncologist again until June, at which point they will likely just run some blood work. No need for a CT scan or an ultrasound, for instance.

She's doing well, pushing forward, getting her life back... she even announced today that she's preparing for her own solo art exhibition ;-)

If anyone had told me twelve months ago exactly what this journey would entail, I wouldn't have believed them... But here we are. Even when things feel terrifying and it seems like there's no way out, it is absolutely worth the fight...
stay strong, keep fighting... kisses

A rather somber reality...