Posts by Dana Hill73

Kyle Lee7 said:I'm doing just fine, thanks for asking. We’re having a discussion here, and if you happen to interpret that as a personal critique or an attack on you, well, that's really on you, not me.
I honestly have no idea how you were raised, what your life looks like now, or where your issues might stem from—and frankly, I'm not interested in digging into that.
If we're being completely honest, my own family was far from perfect either. My parents definitely had their flaws, but they didn't make one crucial mistake: they never laid a hand on me or used physical punishment, and for that, I am truly grateful.

At the end of the day, nobody is perfect. Maybe one day I'll lose my cool and snap at my own child, but that wouldn't make me an abusive person. My point here is about principles and core values. To actually understand whether an action is right or wrong, you have to break it down and look at the actual causes and effects.

The reality is that children are born good. They aren't inherently bad or "broken" people that need to be fixed. Any developmental psychologist in the US will tell you that almost any problematic behavior in a child is simply a reaction to conflict within the family. Children REACT. As adults, we should know better—we *must* know better. It's much easier to resort to force than to stop and ask, "How did MY actions contribute to this situation?"

Sorry, but I’m not taking this personally at all. You didn't actually grasp the point; you just got offended.
Quincy:

In a functional household with parents who actually know how to handle kids, there's no need for corporal punishment.

I am basically the walking counter-example to your "unstable" family.
You should really watch your mouth when using the word "abnormal"—I highly doubt you have enough expertise to decide what qualifies as normal and what doesn't.

And yeah, discipline is always necessary. Any decent psychologist will tell you that—but then again, the way you define "discipline" is a whole different story.

Matthew Morales17 said:Goodness, why is this so incredibly simple, yet so few people seem to actually get it!?🤷

Honestly, I feel like you two are missing the entire point here:
just because our parents laid a hand on us doesn't mean we're all going to turn around and beat our own kids. 🤷

Kyle Lee7 said:Anger and rage can actually feel much more intense than physical pain.
Personally, I’m against any kind of corporal punishment, and I’ll go as far as saying I’m against punitive discipline in general. In a healthy, functional American household where parents truly understand how to guide their children, there just isn't a need for it.
That being said, it absolutely infuriates me when I see unruly, disrespectful kids acting like little savages. I wouldn't tolerate that behavior, but the thing is, those kids aren't born "bad" or "spoiled," requiring a beating to get them back on track. Their behavior is simply a reflection of what's happening—or isn't happening—in their home. When a child is acting out, you have to ask yourselves: what kind of parents are they? Maybe they are completely inconsistent, totally absent, lacking communication skills, or even abusive. Either way, someone is failing somewhere. Trying to fix parental mistakes by hitting a child is nothing short of pathetic and shameful.

Growing up, my parents never laid a hand on me or used harsh punishments, and I always turned out fine—I never had issues at school or at home.

No big deal—I grew up in a dysfunctional mess while you had a "normal" upbringing. Feel better now? 😁

What I'm trying to get at is that I know for a fact she messed up because she was inexperienced. She barely ever laid a hand on my brother, who showed up six years later—she was just young and clueless. So what?
Does that make her "abnormal"? Am I abnormal too? Am I out here terrorizing my own kid?

Where is the actual issue here?
🤷

Kyle Lee7 said:That’s just a pure survival instinct, and I don't think it falls under the category of physical punishment. Giving a two-year-old a little tap over their diaper because they darted into the street isn't the same thing as taking a belt to a ten-year-old.

Exactly, but it’s still a physical reaction.
Growing up, I never ended up with bruises or anything from my dad's "discipline"—I don't even remember the pain, just this massive wave of anger or fury.
On the flip side, my old man touched my shoulder just once—just a hand on the shoulder—because my brother and I were driving him absolutely insane, and it left a mark on my skin.
Who knows what would've happened if he’d actually laid a hand on me. 🙏
That’s why Dad always avoided any kind of physical contact or hitting; it was never that "gentle maternal spanking" type of thing. 😁

Alex Patel96 said:It’s honestly better to never have kids at all than to be an abusive parent.👍

Look, I’m a parent now—I’ve been on both sides of this. I took plenty of beatings growing up, mostly because my mom just didn't know how to handle things—but I don't view her as an abuser. I don't hold it against her, and honestly, I don't carry any baggage from it either. She was only 19 when she had me—she'd lash out whenever she felt overwhelmed or lost control of a situation, and frankly, that's just how she was raised.
So, she started leaning into these punishments that I honestly consider straight-up psychological abuse—it was relentless. At one point, I just snapped and asked her if she’d rather just slap me and get it over with, instead of this constant, chaotic mess where she clearly has no idea what she’s doing with her own life.

Look, on the flip side—I’ve slapped my little girl on her diaper a couple of times when things got actually dangerous. Like that one time she slipped out of my grip and tried to bolt straight into traffic—I was scared to death, and honestly, a quick smack on the diaper for both her and me was just part of the reaction. You have to realize, at two or three years old, you can't exactly sit them down for a heart-to-heart discussion about safety. At that age, a little tap on the backside isn't even real pain—it's more like a sharp little shock to the system.

Ever since we actually started talking things through, nothing like this has ever happened to us again—and it’s not going to. She feels secure because if she’s the center of our world, then I’m the safety radius around her. If I say NO, she trusts me. Period. ☕

Look, she’s just a kid—a quiet, well-behaved kid. Dealing with a high-energy toddler can't be easy, so I get why he’s taking those Legion outbursts out on the house. Honestly? If it were me, I’d probably give him a good smack on the ass too. 😁