35 posts shown.
bluewalker33 said:It really just comes down to having enough grit to prove people wrong... You’d be surprised how many cowards out there have zero drive or backbone, yet they still think they have a say in what you do. Those internal flaws people carry? They're way bigger roadblocks to success than anything else...
You'll run into discrimination here and there, sure, but if your willpower is solid, you can push past it. It’s weird how some things just click for us while others feel impossible—that's where our intuition and strength come from. It’s even harder to wrap your head around the quiet ones who just grind through obstacles without making a scene. Some of them actually make it in life despite the odds. But honestly, it’s all about heart. If your soul is alive, it hears everything...
Regarding your mom, I get it—people can be pretty toxic—but that’s still not the best way to handle things when it comes to her daughter. My own mom isn't exactly the cheerleader type; the second I hit a minor setback, she starts doubting if I'll even make it through... But now that I'm getting close to the finish line, I'm starting to believe I'll actually pull through my fourth year of college, even if it's been a hell of a struggle.
redmarlin3, I got some kind of error so I'm responding like this... you're from a big city like Chicago, I assume? Growing up, I was the only hard-of-hearing kid in my elementary school, and I'm still the only one in high school, except for one guy who is deaf, but he's graduating soon anyway. How did people socialize in your circles? I've always been a bit of an outsider, but being the only one meant I was constantly picked on, so it's no wonder.😁
bluewalker33, I get why she acts that way, but I still don't get why her close friends would treat me differently or look at me differently because of it... I don't experience it that way. Maybe I haven't truly put myself in her shoes, either. Because of my hearing loss, people actually pushed me twice as hard to study and work, though honestly, most of that depends on me. I don't go looking for special treatment or perks despite the handicap; I just try my best to achieve whatever I can. It's different from some people who are hard-of-hearing and just claim they can't do anything, constantly complaining about how hard it is. When things get tough for me—because there are days when the frustration over my hearing just builds up—I still don't go around whining. There's no point, and nobody would understand anyway.🙂
redmarlin3 said:Look, just some encouragement here: I know a woman who is hard of hearing and she works as a high school teacher. 🙂
Something will turn up eventually, sooner or later...
Really? And how does she manage? It's honestly so good to hear about examples like that.🙂
bluewalker33 said:Yeah, I get it. Everything gets so much more stigmatized back home.
The laws here basically protect anything that could be seen as being minimized, so you have to be careful.
It’s tough enough as it is, especially when people just don't get it—it would be way worse. Like, I went to visit my family over in the Midwest recently and wanted to hit up this shop a bit further out, but my aunt goes, "Why are you going out alone? You'll get carjacked." And I'm like, man... if I said that in Canada, I'd probably be reported for discrimination even though she was just looking out for me. But here, I'm cruising on six-lane highways behind the wheel of a car. They just can't wrap their heads around the fact that I actually drive. It's like they don't even believe I graduated college. Honestly, things can be pretty backward there; it’s a beautiful place, but the prejudice is real. Just gotta stay strong and fight it. America is definitely more modern, so it's easier to push back against that stuff. This whole thing happened while I was visiting the Midwest.
I know the feeling. I've grown used to people not understanding... it's just a daily thing. My mom is actually ashamed to tell her close friends that her hearing isn't great, because she feels like not everyone needs to know... I guess that says enough, doesn't it?
Anyway, I'm going to make it in life, even if the path is harder. I might not have perfect hearing, but I've got the skills and the will... and that's what matters most, right?
bluewalker33 said:not sure how things work back home, but over here they can't just turn you away from a PhD program... discrimination is strictly against the law
Yeah, but that's mostly just on paper... the reality is a lot different. I have significant hearing loss, and honestly, I dealt with quite a bit of bullying growing up because of it. In this country, people with hearing impairments are basically pigeonholed into service jobs. It feels like there's almost no one out there who is deaf or hard of hearing but actually holds a high-level professional role. People finish their degrees, they work incredibly hard, but the American public just ignores them. Most people don't get it; they just see a disability. But I feel like we're just people, just like everyone else. My hearing loss wouldn't even be much of an issue if there were people who actually understood—people who would value me based on my actual skills rather than how well I can hear. I'm young, but my hearing is pretty bad, and in a few years, I'll probably be completely deaf. I'm already trying to prepare myself for the uphill battle of just finding a job. Because let’s be real... if even young, healthy, highly qualified people are struggling to find work, what chance do I have?
bluewalker33 said:It honestly surprises me that you went with such a basic handle... I was actually shocked nobody snatched it up before me since it's just so plain and unoriginal 🙂
I can't even wrap my head around this question because I hear way too much. I’d have to be completely deaf to understand how they process all of this or how they keep it all straight in their heads. No matter how you look at it, they see images instead of letters—it's about grasping the core concept. They don't need voices to interpret every single symbol
So, are you hard of hearing then?
I know this guy at my school who's been deaf since birth. He uses a cochlear implant now, but from what I gather, he does great because he's mastered lip-reading. His mental faculties are sharp, and being deaf hasn't stopped him from fitting right in with everyone else... but, I guess the real question is how deaf people actually think. Since I'm not deaf—just partially hard of hearing—I tend to think they just have incredibly heightened visual skills that make up for the lack of sound. Correct me if I'm wrong on that one.😁
😠So, I guess I’m one of those people...
To start off, my hearing is pretty messed up. It wasn't this bad when I was born—it was around 35 dB in both ears back then. But during puberty, things changed incredibly fast. Now, my left ear is at 80 dB and my right is at 85 dB. What’s even worse is that it feels like the loss has gotten worse just in the last few weeks, so I have to go back for another audiometry test. I don't even need to say how much this slows me down in daily life; because of the way I talk (people say it sounds 🙄), they usually assume I have a piercing, braces, or something. Because of that, I dealt with teasing growing up, though I've moved past all that now. The hardest part, though, is that even though I can hear great with my hearing aids, I honestly don't understand anything anyone is saying. I'm just thankful I have the ability to lip-read, which helps me get by. Lately, talking to people has become exhausting. I mishear things and start talking about something completely different, only realizing after seeing everyone's confused looks that I totally missed 🤣. I also hate the buzzing from the aids (they're high-powered, so the buzzing is loud) which is just so irritating. People can even hear it if I turn my head the wrong way while chewing or laughing, which has basically forced me to become this perpetually stiff, serious person 😠. The toughest thing is when people don't get it. They try to make it a joke—and no, it really isn't funny. Just try dealing with something constantly buzzing in your ear while trying to stay tense so others don't hear it 😠. Then there's my old lady yelling at me because she gets frustrated if I didn't hear or understand her... and yeah, there's a million other examples, this is just the tip of the iceberg. So, what I want to know is: is there any kind of surgery available? I'm willing to pay whatever it takes because this is becoming unbearable 😢. Just so you know, the hearing loss is due to nerve damage, and I know those kinds of cases are the hardest to treat 😢. Please, if you only have advice or support for "accepting" it, just skip this thread. I can't accept this as part of who I am. I tried, but I really can't. Thanks
Peter Cooper5 said:Man, tell me about it. Honestly, summer is probably the worst time of year for me because of all this stuff. You want to just bundle up your hair, head down to the coast with your friends, and actually live a little... but nope. Everyone else is just out there laughing and being carefree, and I'm just sitting here on the sidelines. It's depressing, really. Just feels totally isolating.
I get it, 😢 which is why during the summer I just end up stuck at home, glued to my computer... it's pretty bad. Plus, my hair is thick and straw-like, so I just sweat even more... yeah, I'm originally from a small suburb outside of Phoenix, though I'm in Los Angeles way more often since that's where I go to high school. 🙂
Daniel Moore90 said:I don't know, I've never really struggled with having to point out—well, as you put it, the "handicap"—to people. I'll explain things to the people I care about so they understand what's going on, and sure, there are those awkward moments every once in a while, but I usually just laugh it off. After all, it's one of the smaller hurdles to clear—it would be a much heavier lift if I were blind, or dealing with a physical disability, or... well, all of that combined.😁
Honestly, I'm fully aware that I can't operate quite like everyone else, and I know things will likely only get more difficult as time goes on. I've made my peace with that. It hasn't even been an issue when it comes to dating... I tend to just be upfront from the jump about how things stand—that my hearing isn't great and I might need someone to repeat themselves a few times. I suppose I'm charming enough that it ends up being a secondary detail.🥳
Ugh, I remember telling my boyfriend. It was hard, and I felt so bad doing it, like I was looking at him with this pathetic, pitying expression like some kind of freak 😂 ...but I'm still young, and I have my whole life ahead of me. Still, knowing how dependent I am on this stuff... it just gets me down. Like, seeing other girls go hit the beach and swim while I can't because I'm wearing my hearing aids... or seeing women just throw their hair up on a bad hair day without a second thought, while I can't even do that because it would show the devices. Or when I can't even lean on him because my equipment starts beeping... it just ruins my mood instantly.
Peter Cooper5 said:^^ haha, yeah, I do the same thing—just pretend I didn't hear them or something (back before I started meeting guys). That would honestly just become an afterthought.
Anyway, let me try to break down everyone's replies here and see how they stack up against my own experience.😁
So, you can't listen to music on an MP3 player? Thank God I figured that out. I use one of those tiny little hearing aids that sits right in the ear canal. Though, honestly, the canal has widened over time so it feels like it's constantly "slipping" out, even if it never actually falls all the way out... it drives me crazy. Anyway, I still have my MP3 player, but I use custom clip-on earphones instead:
And regarding that high-pitched whistling... I had that with my last device. Every time I laughed or stretched my face or something, it would start squealing. It was irritatingly painful. This one is digital (I think, anyway) and doesn't whistle like that, so there's no real fear of whistling when I'm swallowing or whatever, 😁 but man, it really bugs me when the wind blows; those sounds give me a massive headache.
And I have no clue what my actual hearing threshold is.😁
---
Then, there were times when someone would repeat a sentence for the third time, and by then, I felt like I should have already heard or understood what they said, so I'd just give up and say "yeah, yeah..." But the thing is, it's so awkward because I'm nodding along like I get everything, when really I'm being asked a question... To avoid looking stupid, this happened to me just the other day.🤦 People just stare at you waiting for an answer while I'm just sitting there smiling and saying "yeah, yeah."😁 hahaha
---
Of course, I don't want to be dependent on devices or stand out, either. Ugh, gross! I think if we were all together, the sheer chaos and misunderstanding would be so bad we'd all be falling off our chairs laughing.🤣
How old are you guys?
Behind-the-ear, right? I have too small an ear concha for that, so that's not an option for me. 😠 ...and yeah, that thing with questions happens to me too. Back then, I would have wanted the ground to swallow me up from the embarrassment... and the wind thing is the worst. I almost feel self-conscious about wearing them, so I leave my hair down, but no—when the wind picks up, not only can you see the devices, but they whistle too. It's awful... Can you function without hearing aids? I'd honestly love for us all to meet up. Even if nothing else comes of it, it would be interesting—laughing our heads off and being unable to speak the next day. 🤣
Daniel Moore90 said:Heh, those awkward moments... For me, the absolute worst part is when someone says something and I just don't catch it—or worse, I can't quite make out what they're saying. I’ll ask them to repeat themselves, only to realize I still didn't get it... so I just end up making this ridiculous face, nodding along with a half-hearted "yeah, yeah," 🙂
I don't know... It hasn't actually been that traumatic for me, especially since I’ve never had one of those uncomfortable encounters where I have to explain that my hearing is a bit damaged. People just seem to take it in stride—it's treated as something... totally normal.
In fact, I almost feel a bit privileged in a way, because people tend to speak more clearly and directly to me. 🤣
That's exactly what's weighing on me... I don't want to stand out because of this. I just want to function normally... I don't want to be dependent on devices, but I am, because without them, it feels like I can barely hear anything at all.
Peter Cooper5 said:^^ Ugh, seriously, how many times do I have to tell people I’m not comfortable talking about this? I honestly feel like I’m the only person under sixty out there who relies on a hearing aid. I try so hard to just act like everything is totally normal, you know? But it’s just exhausting when I have to constantly pester people to repeat themselves for the hundredth time, only to have them start making those annoying jokes about me being hard of hearing once I explain why... ugh
I get it. 😢 Does that constant "is it your hearing aid?" question bother you too? Because it drives me absolutely crazy. Sometimes I just want to rip the thing out of my ear and toss it. It especially sucks when I can't just listen to music on my phone while riding the bus, or give someone a hug without worrying the device might whistle. I actually avoid hugging people sometimes because of that... how much do you usually have to turn things up?
Peter Cooper5 said:^Man, welcome to the club... just a bunch of complexes, people not getting it, and problems being swept under the rug... honestly, we’re old enough now that we really should stop acting so childishly about all this. 😁 It feels like we should all just get together in one room somewhere and actually swap stories.
So, was there some specific moment or situation that felt particularly awkward for you guys because of your hearing?
Peter Cooper5, shoot me a DM if you ever need to vent about this stuff. I have a million stories myself 😉 ...I completely agree, we really should find a way to connect. It makes me feel so much better knowing I'm not the only one... for a while, I actually thought I was alone, mostly because I didn't know anyone else dealing with this who wasn't, like, over 75.🙄
Peter Cooper5 said:Finally, let's get into this, because honestly, it’s such a struggle finding anyone who actually gets what I mean when I say, "I'm out in public, everyone is talking, but I can't understand a single word they're saying." 😬 It’s basically the same deal for me—I have a hard time following conversations, especially if someone drops a fancy word or some slang that isn't used much. Then you’re just sitting there praying they’ll repeat themselves. And honestly? I’m kind of terrified about what happens when I eventually have kids. I don't want to be that parent constantly asking my own child to repeat themselves i980239483'2 times, especially since I barely catch what kids are saying as it is. For me, it's a mess; I've got nerve damage from an insanely high fever when I was just a few months old.
Yeah, I find kids the hardest to follow too. And honestly, men's voices are just as bad for me because their voices tend to be so high-pitched or squeaky, making them almost impossible to understand.
Amanda Hughes5 said:Hey Ugly....it's me, 🙂
First off... seriously, thanks a million for all the replies 👍
I'm rocking a Unitron Moxi right now, in my left ear—that's the weaker one.
Before this, I was using a Widex CIC 2, an in-the-canal style.
Honestly? Neither of them has done it for me. That first one was tucked deep in my ear, fully digital, but every single time I spoke or even just chewed some food, the thing would practically jump out of my ear. A total disaster. I was hearing sounds I’d never heard before in my life, but as far as actually understanding what people were saying? Zero. Zilch. And to top it off, after every two words, I had to physically shove it back into my ear with my finger 😠
The second one is behind-the-ear, also digital (it adjusts its own volume based on the environment), with that thin little wire running into the ear canal ending in the attachment that delivers the sound.
But... my speech comprehension is still basically non-existent if there's any background noise, or if I'm stuck at a table with three, four, five, or more people (I usually just tune out immediately because I can't keep up), or even when watching TV (I can't even follow movies from the old US regions)... and honestly, the sound was better with my old device 🤷—cleaner and sharper. Look, let's be real... I spent a ton of time over at Microton trying to dial in the perfect volume level for that specific device... but we just couldn't get anywhere near it 🤷
And you know what the absolute worst part is? The folks over at Suvag told me this device was 100% perfect for my specific issue ☕ so I really don't get it—how can someone claim that's the case when it's their entire career, yet after wearing it for just two or three hours, I'm convinced it's actually worse than my old setup 🤷
It feels like I'm reading my own thoughts here... how bad is the damage, exactly? I mean, what's your actual hearing threshold?
Hey there... I’ve been dealing with hearing loss since birth, too. Right now, one ear sits at 70 dB and the other at 65 dB, which is a huge jump from when I was first diagnosed. It affects how I talk, too—I have this specific way of speaking because certain letters, like 'c' and 'r,' are a struggle for me. Still, I try my best to blend in. I adapt as much as I can, and I'm pretty good at lip-reading, so conversations usually flow okay. But I know deep down that no amount of help can truly replace natural hearing. To be honest, I’m not happy with the hearing aids I’m using at the moment. I can hear the sounds, but I just can't make sense of them. I've noticed my boyfriend doesn't really see it as a big deal, mostly because he doesn't quite understand what it's like. I had to sit him down and explain everything, and man, there have been so many times I wished I had any other kind of struggle instead of this. This hearing loss has given me so many insecurities.