MacBook Pro charging issues

Looks like the battery on my MacBook Pro finally gave up the ghost. It’s draining insanely fast—over 1% per minute even when I'm not doing anything with it.
I tried charging it by just keeping it plugged in since the battery is basically useless now, using a USB-C cable and some Apple phone chargers. I tested every single port. The cables and adapters work fine; they charge my phone without an issue. From what I understand, you don't strictly need the original charger, right?
The laptop should be able to take a charge from them too, but absolutely nothing happens. It’s not even slow charging; there's just zero sign that the laptop recognizes it's connected to a power source at all.
Does anyone know what the deal is here? Is there a setting I missed, or do I actually need to go out and buy a specific charger to get this thing running?

Does the laptop actually work when it's plugged in?

Richard Lee47 said:Does the laptop work when it's plugged in?

Battery is totally dead and the laptop won't even turn on while plugged in.

A phone charger isn't exactly going to juice up a laptop.

65W feels a bit light, doesn't it? What should I be looking at instead?

What were the specs on the original charger, though? Like, what was the actual wattage, voltage, and amperage?

I’ve had zero issues charging my Dell MacBook Pro using a 35W Apple charger, even though it originally shipped with a 65W brick.
Laptops without dedicated GPUs usually pull about 20-30W.

Sounds like your battery is completely shot—you might find the laptop won't even boot up without a functional battery.