Kindergarten Cop 2 (2016)

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Tasked with recovering some highly sensitive stolen data, a gritty FBI agent (Dolph Lundgren) decides to go undercover as a kindergarten teacher, only to find out that navigating the school's super liberal, politically correct vibe is way tougher than his usual assignments.

Oh man, I honestly can't even... I am just losing it here! 🤣🤣🤣

I mean, I don't think I even need to give you guys a rundown of the original movie starring Schwarzenegger and directed by Ivan Reitman. If my memory serves me right, it was just your standard, middle-of-the-road flick—not exactly a comedy powerhouse and not quite an action blockbuster either—that mostly just seemed to be riding the coattails of its lead actor's fame.

But this sequel? Seriously, who on earth thought a follow-up was a good idea? And with Dolph Lundgren stepping in!? Honestly, this is either going to be an absolute masterpiece of unintentional comedy or a complete and utter disaster. Personally, I’m putting all my money on it sinking fast, though I have to admit, I am actually kind of excited to see how it plays out! 🤣

The first half is pure family drama, and honestly, I have zero complaints. It all works perfectly. You’ve got Arnie, Penelope, Reed, and those twin brothers 👍

As for the rest? All I can say is: who let this guy in? 😁

Jerry Martinez50 said:The first part feels like a total family squabble, and honestly, I don't have much to complain about there because everything seems to be working fine. You've got Arnold, Penelope, Reed, and the Twins 👍

As for this part? All I can say is, WTF. 😁

To be honest, my memory of the individual units is pretty fuzzy, so I really need to brush up on the material along with the rest of this... I am genuinely hoping that Dolph learns to be a bit sharper. I won't settle for anything less than perfection! 🤣

No, don't screw with me. No... no... no, why would you even do that?
WTF
No.
No

No.

Hollywood is completely washed up; all they do now is churn out endless remakes and sequels 🤦

The original was top-tier—they just don't make movies like that anymore. Who’s actually going to remember today's comedies in twenty years? Nobody, that's who. These new ones featuring that actress who isn't afraid to lean into her size—playing some cop or whatever—it's all just people being hungover. It's awful. Schwarzenegger was a master at this kind of stuff.

Just to refresh everyone's memory on a few classics:
The kid in preschool: Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.
Schwarzenegger to the kids: I'm a party pooper!
🙏

And this sequel... oof... watching this is going to be painful. It’ll probably skip theaters and go straight to streaming.

If this thing isn't running at 48 fps, with 15-16D, 150.7, plus seat vibration and that smell of stale air... honestly, I'm not even going!
Et'...☕

silentcanyon58 said:It’s just your run-of-the-mill flick—nothing particularly hilarious, and if my memory serves, not even overloaded with action. It feels like a project designed solely to cash in on the lead actor's star power.

I won't lecture anyone on being overly cautious or, conversely, diving headfirst into deep philosophical analysis over movies that were meant to be simple, relatively wholesome family entertainment back when they were made.

It’s a decent enough movie, actually—the characters are reasonably well-developed and get some decent screen time to breathe. The violence is practically negligible, the humor lands well enough, and I don't feel the need to give it any special rating. Both Sly and Arnold found niche opportunities in projects like this, and they both handled it quite well. They aren't saving the world here, but Home Alone 2 remains a charming little film with solid casting—especially Linda Hunt, who brings a certain grace to the whole thing.

On a more paranoid note, looking behind the curtain, the film does have a few subtle, almost subconscious militaristic undertones in its scenes of discipline, though it feels largely inconsequential.

I have nothing against Dolph, but they could have told this exact same story without tethering it to an existing title—let alone using it as an excuse to call it a sequel. I suppose "sequel" is just a polite euphemism for a remake that people are too embarrassed to admit. Since the plot doesn't actually lean on Arnold's character, we all know the truth: this sequel exists purely to pad the studio's bank account.

...

This is nothing more than directorial sadism aimed at a masochistic audience. Honestly, what is the actual purpose of a movie like this? It’s as unnecessary as getting a colonoscopy just for fun! It feels completely redundant, and even the poster itself looks shallow and tasteless. Calling this a comedy is a joke—it's about as funny as a low-budget B-movie like Piranha vs Shark! WTF

If they actually end up filming Home Alone 2, I suppose I should start looking for a sturdy tree first... I might even go ahead and pick up some rope just to be safe, I guess.

WHY😠

Man, everyone jumped on this like it’s some epic sequel to Citizen Kane. 🤣 chill out with the hype.

To hell with Dolph Legend and movies like this.

If it isn't in 3-D, I'm not even watching.

I suppose they could always try a remake, since everything seems to be getting rebooted these days. But a sequel featuring Lundgren instead of Schwarzenegger 🤦 (probably the biggest P. Stewart disappointment yet)

Sandra Booth57 said:If they actually end up filming Junior 2, I'll be hunting down a tree immediately... honestly, I'm already looking into getting some heavy-duty rope just to be safe!

Hmm, well, it isn't exactly Junior 2, but word on the street is they've teased a sequel to Twins. 🤣

Oh man, I haven't even seen the first movie yet! 😕

Anyway, let me know if I actually need to watch them all in order... 🤷

silentcanyon58 said:Hmm... it’s not quite Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, but they did tease a sequel for Twin. 🤣

I just wanted to mess around, when really... 🤦

"Julius and Vincent Benedict discover they have a third sibling."

🤦