CIA: Illuminati (2017)

Grace Edwards said:I’m honestly kind of dreading a sequel; they’re already saying Dwayne Johnson might be the main villain 🤦

All they care about is pulling in big names 🤣
but hey, I actually kind of love that about them 😬

It was a decent enough sequel—not quite reaching the heights of the first one, but still an enjoyable ride.

The only thing I truly have an issue with—spoiler alert coming up

SPOILER

Merlin's death felt completely unearned to me. It was incredibly moving when he sang right before it—really powerful stuff—but if they were committed to going in that direction, couldn't they have handled it better? There had to be a way to pull those emotional strings without it feeling so off.

Personally, I found the film quite entertaining. It felt a little dragged out in places, but it stayed engaging enough. That whole concept involving Poppy really caught my interest. 😬

It’s honestly such a letdown compared to the first one... I mean, Colin Firth is barely even in it, and instead we get this Swedish princess who just feels totally pointless to the plot, I guess.

I found it rather entertaining, though I suppose it falls short of the first one; still, there’s a certain charm to it that makes it worth watching. It feels to me like expectations were perhaps set too high, which might explain why the backlash has been so disproportionate, even if it could have certainly been better.
If the first film earns an 8/10, I’d probably place this one somewhere between a 6 and a 7.

briskbison55 said:It’s honestly such a letdown compared to the first one... I mean, Colin Firth is barely even in it, and instead we get this Swedish princess who just feels totally pointless to the plot, I guess.

Plus, you've got a main villain who’s totally forgettable, an overbearing and unnecessary cameo by Elton John, some character deaths that feel completely hollow, and a total waste of the Statesmen cast.

Honestly, those robot dogs were getting on my nerves too, but I guess if you took Firth and Strong out of the equation, the whole film would basically be unwatchable 😁

Sophia Thomas7 said:Plus, you've got a main villain who’s totally forgettable, an overbearing and unnecessary cameo by Elton John, some character deaths that feel completely hollow, and a total waste of the Statesmen cast.

Hey, leave Elton alone! He’s worth more than the entire rest of the cast combined. 😛

I'd give the film a solid 6/10.

I’m still a fan. I actually binged both sequels back-to-back—yeah, my bad, a total guilty pleasure move, but they were finally out at the same time—and honestly? Both work just as well as the first one.
The Storyline is beautifully insane in both films, the casting is spot on, the action is great, and it really has that certain charm. Mr. Darcy is everything, and even though he carries about 80% of the movie, I could totally see them continuing the franchise without him. The real question is whether they’ll have enough ideas for more of those crazy stunts that somehow make perfect sense in a movie like this.
I’m rooting for them, because this stuff is just pure, ridiculous fun.

These films are just comic book adaptations. They might actually have some substance if they put in the work.

The first one was a pleasant surprise—honestly, one of the better action films out there in recent years. The sequel aims to be bigger, wilder, and more fun, but unfortunately, it misses the mark on every single level.

There are so many things wrong with this movie that I don't even know where to start. It’s not like the entire thing is a disaster, though; there are some decent moments, which actually makes it a bigger shame because large chunks of the film are just awful. When it hits, it's a solid, relatively fun action flick. Some of the characters still work for me, and there are still some creative action sequences with interesting camera work, even if they're weighed down by too much CGI. But when it fails? Man, it's just terrible and hard to sit through. There are so many scenes that lean way too hard into parody, almost like I'm watching Austin Powers. Sure, the first one played with James Bond's tropes a bit, but it did so with some style. Here, they completely overdo it—the scenes are impossible to take seriously, yet they aren't even funny or entertaining.

The main villain is easily one of the worst antagonists we've seen in years. And the rest of the cast isn't much better—Bridges and Berry look like they just showed up to collect a paycheck, and Elton John, who isn't usually my cup of tea anyway, is just grating.

Skip it.

4 / 10

Super fun, but honestly? It lacks those brutal fights you saw back in the first film (I’ve lost count of how many times I rewatched that massacre). Way too many clichés. Plus, the main guys are basically invincible—no matter how much they brawl, nobody even gets a scratch. And killing off Merlin was totally unnecessary; they could've just taken out those guards before activating the bomb. They should've just stormed the front doors guns blazing! My kid was like, "Why didn't they just grab those suppressed submachine guns and a ton of ammo?" Now I'm stuck hunting down some kid-sized formal wear because he's convinced he's the next Kingsman for Halloween. He's already got the pistol, the glasses, and the umbrella... we're even trying to DIY an old umbrella from his grandpa to work like a shield.
I don't get why they wanted Poppy dead in the end. She was just doing humanity a favor by cleaning up the trash.

When he took that dive straight into the sewer, I honestly felt the first urge to just turn the whole thing off. And once that metallic hand got jammed into the computer? Yeah, that was the moment I officially called it... 😵

ulcerative colitis said:The first one was a pleasant surprise and, honestly, one of the better action movies out in the last few years. The sequel wants to be bigger, crazier, and more fun, but unfortunately, it fails on every single level.

There were so many things wrong with this movie that I don't even know where to start. It’s not even like the whole thing is garbage—there are some decent parts, which just makes it a bigger shame that such a huge chunk of the film is so awful. When it hits, it’s okay, maybe a relatively fun action flick. I still thought some of the characters were fine, and there are still some great, creative action sequences with interesting camera work, though even those are ruined by way too much CGI. But when it’s bad, man, it is just straight-up terrible and hard to sit through. There are so many scenes that went way too far into parody territory, like I was watching Austin Powers. Yeah, the first one parodied James Bond a little bit, but it had some taste, whereas here they just overdid it—you can't take the scenes seriously, but they aren't even funny or entertaining.

fgzcvijetic said:When he jumped into the sewer, I actually wanted to stop watching for the first time. Once that metal hand got stuck in the computer, I was definitely done.

That almost made me turn it off too. That opening action sequence was a disaster, easily one of the worst things I've ever seen, just total Fast & Furious style crap.

The first movie felt like a real breath of fresh air for the spy-action genre. But this one, man, it really overshot everything. They took everything and tripled it: three times the swearing, three times the scenes with the princess, three times the action, and three times the CGI futuristic nonsense from the year 2150. It's just trash upon trash. The only things I can respect are the well-shot action scenes (except for the intro), a decent soundtrack, and that crazy President (he actually had me laughing).
And I almost forgot, freaking Elton John has more screen time than Channing Tatum and Jeff Bridges 🤦

Knowing that Dwayne Johnson will probably be the main villain in the third one, I already know exactly what kind of cheap thrill this franchise is going to try to pull to trigger a massive box office hit.
Kingsman needs a new director, someone more down-to-earth and actually fun. Edgar Wright did a masterclass job with Baby Driver, and his style would be perfect to pull this potentially good franchise out of the mud.