Just kidding :)

It’s been a long time since I honestly thought this whole site was just one big joke—something built purely to entertain my own boredom. But some decent folks pointed out that this place is actually more like an institution, where everyone except me was being serious and giving their absolute best advice on Reddit 🙂 I’ve had a total turnaround and realized I was the only one getting slapped with so many bans, ten of them, in fact 😠 Every time I think about those bans, I feel instant loneliness, like a punishment for my rudeness—which, let's face it, was unlike anything you've ever seen on these boards.
So here I am tonight, standing before you all, figuratively on my knees, asking for forgiveness for the nonsense I pulled while posting stupid stuff over at LJS. If you'll just wipe my record clean, I promise to use my vast experience (and by "experience," I mean the ten times I've actually had sex—which, coincidentally, is the same number as my bans) to help move the Reddit world forward.
Does God exist?

PS If you guys want, I can send over a photo 🙂 I’m sitting here at my laptop in a full suit (couldn't stay on my knees the whole time because then the keyboard would be way too high)

No matter how much effort you exert to cultivate a pleasant persona in an attempt to prove otherwise, my colleagues and I have reached a consensus: your partial privileges regarding LJS will not be reinstated at this time.

The circumstances are quite clear to you, and given that these issues are of a serious nature—necessitating extensive moderator intervention on our part, which you have consistently disregarded and, frankly, even gone out of your way to provoke—we are now definitively and unanimously rejecting your request.

Thanks for saying I'm a likable guy—you can always slide that into my DMs if you want me to keep it forever, seriously, that means a lot 🙂
I have to admit, I’m pretty floored by how unanimous you all are. Since I mentioned I’m starting to take this forum totally seriously now, I guess I really need to get where you guys are coming from 😁
Sorry you guys had to actually put in some work because of my posts—hope you didn't pull any muscles or give yourselves a headache trying to figure out what to do with me 😢
Thanks for the lovely explanation, though I never actually got the reasons (not that I was asking for them). My decision to ignore everyone happened because you were all ignoring me first, so really, you kind of brought this on yourselves
Catch you later on some other sub-forum or under a different handle whenever I feel like it.
Kisses to Phiber Optix 😁
Lock!

I appreciate you confirming just how "serious" you actually intend to be about this matter.

The decision remains unchanged for the time being. Best regards.

Don't go thinking you're going to get a partial refund just by handling things this way.