Enlisting in Bashar al-Assad's army

Hi there.
This isn't some troll post—and for those of you waiting in the wings just to mock this, don't bother; I couldn't care less what you think...

The title pretty much says it all. Does anyone actually know how or where one goes to enlist for combat operations in Syria? My military experience is minimal—though honestly, even if I had more, my intention wouldn't change.

I'm not interested in explaining my motives; beyond basic human empathy for what's happening in Syria, I don't have any other specific agenda.

Thanks.

Here you go, https://www.facebook.com/Bashar.Al.Assad.page Just send over a friend request.

Jacob Grant50 said:Hey everyone.
I’m not posting this to troll anyone, and honestly, if people want to spend their time making fun of me, go right ahead—it doesn't bother me one bit...

The title pretty much says it all. Does anyone know how or where I can sign up to fight in Syria? I don't have much military experience, but even if I did, my mind is made up.

I don't really feel the need to explain my motives; beyond just having some basic human empathy for what's happening in Syria, there isn't much else to it.

Thanks, take care.

If you're up for it, could you briefly explain why you'd want to fight in Syria on al-Assad's side?
Also, are you Christian? Is this driven by a sense of adventure or by an actual ideal?