Missing periods: What's your experience?

ruggedbadger25 said:And yeah, they slapped an anorexia diagnosis on me the second I mentioned I lost weight on purpose. Doctors hand those out like candy just to get you off their plate—if you really want to know...

Well, that’s not quite how it works. You aren't getting your period, and combined with your weight, that’s the massive red flag for anorexia. Your OBGYN was actually spot on. If you were already underweight but still had a cycle, nobody would be jumping to an anorexia diagnosis.

Taking hormone therapy while being that underweight—honestly, I don't think it's the brightest move.🙄

Petrich

I honestly don't think your weight is critically low considering how tall you are. I suspect the real issue might be that you lost weight too quickly. Please, please don't go back on any diets—you really don't want to risk heading toward anorexia. You probably should try to gain a few pounds; that would definitely help. When I was 16, I weighed about 125 lbs at 5'8", and nobody ever told me I looked anorexic because, well, I wasn't. Back when I was 16, I actually had to take some medication to deal with amenorrhea. I only took one course, maybe for 14 days, and then my period finally came. I hadn't had one for about three or four months before that, and my doctor warned me it could get pretty dangerous. Apparently, if you go too long without a cycle, the next one can be incredibly heavy, and you could end up in the hospital. After that, I never had to take those types of medications again. I think Duphaston is similar, though I never personally used it. Once I finished high school, I gained a bit of weight and haven't had any issues since.

I really feel like this girl needs to talk to her gynecologist about getting medication, especially since she hasn't had a period in six months. That’s just way too long. She should definitely ask a doctor for advice. Maybe things will just level out naturally as she grows, just like they did for me. And, of course, gaining about 10 pounds would probably be good for her. I don't think she's anorexic, but I do worry she could hit a critical point where her weight leads to a hospital visit.

There's really no need to be afraid of medications like those or Dabras. They aren't dangerous drugs; you typically only take them for about two weeks to trigger a period. After a few months, you might have to do another round if your cycle still hasn't returned, but most likely, it'll come back on its own eventually. These aren't meant for continuous use, unlike birth control pills, which can carry risks like thrombosis or an embolism in certain cases.

Dear ruggedbadger25,
If you're terrified of hormone therapy, you don't have to take it. There are natural ways to get your cycle back on track.
The go-to is Chasteberry (Vitex agnus castus). It isn't a hormone itself, but it helps regulate your female hormones so they balance out naturally. It can help with amenorrhea, painful periods, PMS, and various menstrual issues—even PCOS, endometriosis, or infertility if the root cause is hormonal imbalance.
In Germany, this is often the first line of defense that doctors recommend for these issues. They don't just rush straight to synthetic hormones like some doctors here in the States do.
Most importantly, Chasteberry is completely safe when you stick to the recommended dosage. You won't deal with nasty side effects, especially not weight gain. It’s easy to manage, too; you just take it once in the morning.
Do a little Googling on this plant. Get informed.

As for the anorexia and the need to put on a few pounds? I second everything my predecessors said.

ruggedbadger25 said:I’m not trying to trivialize things here... but honestly, this whole situation— Absolutely. It isn't exactly a crisis—not quite as critical as it might seem at first glance.
So, they hand you a diagnosis. Quite easy, I suppose.Look, just to get you off my back—if you absolutely insist on knowing...

They don't hand out diagnoses like candy—doctors aren't exactly in the business of messing around. The sheer fact that you’ve lost your period—meaning your entire system is essentially out of sync—speaks volumes about how serious this actually is. Honestly, your situation is DEFINITELY critical. It's all the more concerning because you keep insisting everything is fine. I suppose 99% of girls struggling with anorexia will claim they aren't in any real danger. Some manage to pull themselves back from the brink in time, but unfortunately, others simply don't.

You can ingest all the hemp, chasteberry, calendula, coconut, rose, or any other botanical concoction this world has to offer—honestly, you could try every herb under the sun—but none of it is going to fix the problem if you're carrying this kind of attitude and staying in this particular headspace. A prolonged absence of your period while you're in this state might actually have some consequences for your future, and I don't mean some distant, theoretical issue down the road. It's more immediate than that, I guess.

You probably don't even realize the sheer number of health issues you could be facing down the road—it’s actually quite a lot to consider. Honestly, those pills are incredibly effective at preventing ovarian and endometrial cancer, which is a massive silver lining if you think about it.

I truly, deeply hope you can put some weight back on—even if it’s just a little at a time—and that you can eventually move through a period of taking medication to get back to your baseline, only to leave those pills behind for good once you're there. I genuinely want nothing more than for you to recover and finally settle into a life that feels easy, carefree, and—most importantly—healthy. 😘

placidorca16 Asks:
Taking hormone therapy when your weight is that low—honestly, I’m a bit concerned that it might not be the most brilliant move. It just feels like a risky gamble, I guess.🙄

Are you an OB-GYN? I’m trying to wrap my head around this whole "rolajzzz" thing—what’s the deal there? And honestly, if she isn't gaining weight, then she'll just have to... well, she'll have to.

Sophia Wells72 said:Are you a gynecologist? Why all the drama—if she doesn't gain weight, she'll just have to.

Look, I’m no doctor, but if you want actual info, you need a decent gynecologist—which is exactly what I have. My OBGYN, who I talked to about hormone therapy, confirmed the risks documented in several scientific papers I've read myself. She told me straight up that doctors are "obligated" to offer various hormone therapy options depending on the diagnosis, even though there are serious side effects—you know, things like certain cancers, heart disease, cardiovascular issues, etc. Those are the standard risks for women without anorexia. In the case of anorexia, though, common sense suggests those risks would actually go up, not down. Is that clear enough for you?🤷

placidorca16 said:J...confirmed some of the potential risks to me—risks that are actually backed up by several scientific papers I’ve been digging through myself. She told me quite bluntly that OB-GYNs are essentially "obligated" to offer hormone therapy across various diagnostic scenarios, even though it carries significant side effects—things like certain types of cancer, cardiovascular issues, and other circulatory problems, among others.

I know this—and I’m fairly certain ruggedbadger25 is aware of what the other women here have experienced, too. Honestly, OB-GYNs are obligated to disclose this kind of information; that’s just how it works. But in her case, the issue isn't just some minor, nagging discomfort—it's much more serious. We're talking about a significant underlying problem that could potentially lead to catastrophic outcomes or even malignant conditions down the road. If she has already reached this point—if she’s truly backed into a corner where she has to choose between two equally unpleasant options—then she might as well choose the lesser of two evils. That’s really the whole point of the matter.

Now, please don't get me wrong—I'm certainly not suggesting this should be the go-to move unless there really is no other way out. For her, though... well, I suppose that's her primary option. Weight gain—it’s such an exhausting topic to navigate, isn't it? I feel like every time I turn around, there's some new "miracle" diet or a sudden shift in my own body that feels completely out of my control. It’s frustrating, honestly—that sense of looking in the mirror and feeling like you don't quite recognize the person staring back at you. I suppose it isn't just about the scale, though; it's the metabolic shifts, the hormonal fluctuations, and that lingering feeling that your body has decided to change the rules without consulting you first. Maybe it's stress, maybe it's just life happening, but it’s a lot to process.Honestly, every single woman here has given her the same advice—myself included. If I were in her shoes, that would be my absolute Plan A, and I’d start working on it immediately. She mentioned right at the beginning that she’s terrified of birth control, so that leaves weight gain as the only other real option (which brings up its own set of problems). She says she’s dreading gaining weight, but what else is there? Either take the pill or deal with whatever combination of Verifem and Duphaston a doctor decides to prescribe. Her situation isn't just going to fix itself through wishful thinking. She needs to be honest with herself—admit that she’s carrying a few extra pounds, acknowledge that she dropped weight too fast on purpose, and realize she needs to get back to a healthy baseline. Otherwise, she’s just going to spin her wheels in this endless cycle and leave herself wide open to all sorts of health issues, both minor and major. The bottom line is that she’s been backed into a corner where she HAS to act now. She needs to understand that missing periods for an extended period can actually have much more serious consequences than just taking a pill. It’s a choice: either she addresses the weight gain now—maybe through teas or other lifestyle shifts—or she follows a doctor's recommendation and takes the medication she's so afraid of.

Sophia Wells72 said:She needs to realize that missing periods for long stretches can actually carry more risks than just being on birth control. Either she’ll have to focus on gaining weight and eating right immediately—maybe some herbal teas and stuff—or follow a doctor's advice and start taking the pills she's so afraid of.

Look, I have no clue what the specific risk level is for a young woman dealing with potential anorexia versus starting hormone therapy—especially looking at the long term. Honestly, sometimes just smoking is enough to spike those risks significantly. My point was simply that the risk exists, and it’s likely higher when anorexia is in the mix. Anorexia isn't just some "phase" either—it's a serious, heavy illness that can be lifelong, and unfortunately, it often comes with other complications regardless of any hormone treatment.😢
But, obviously, the choice is hers to make. In my opinion, the only logical, healthy way out is to eat normally and gain weight. That would effectively eliminate both issues—the anorexia and the need for pills.🙂

Exactly—that’s precisely what we’re advising her to do: focus on gaining some weight and just maintaining a balanced, healthy lifestyle. She really needs to make that call right now. As far as I can see, it remains her only truly GOOD and HEALTHY path forward. If she refuses to go that route, then she’s basically left with that other option. 😉

Look, you’re operating under the assumption that people always "listen" to what the experts say. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that—really—but you just can't know for sure.☕

Good grief, why are you all jumping down each other's throats? 😁

Look, I get it—I have to gain weight. My doctor says I need to put on 5 lbs, which feels like way too much to me, but hey, I’m clearly just a crazy idiot, so let everyone else make my decisions for me. I know exactly what my diagnosis is, and trust me, you have no clue what I’ve been through—or what I’m still dealing with.

Last time I gained just 2 lbs, I completely lost it and dropped 5 lbs instead. Then I gained 3 back. It’s just a constant cycle. It’s hard—really hard—to fight yourself... This isn't about how I look, it's about self-control and self-respect.

But whatever, who cares, right? Since she doesn't have a period, she just has to gain weight, even if it absolutely destroys her and makes her miserable.

ruggedbadger25 said:...but clearly I'm just some crazy idiot, so let everyone else decide for me instead.

Look, that’s not what I mean at all. Actually—I think you've got a brain, and I'm pretty sure you're smart enough to realize your life is in your own hands, and that you're the one who ultimately decides things. Of course, that also means you're the one carrying all the risks from those choices. ☕

The last time I gained 5 lbs, I totally lost it and dropped 10 lbs immediately. Then I gained 7 back. It's just this endless cycle. It's hard—it's really hard fighting yourself... It isn't even about looks, it's about self-control and self-respect.

So, basically, your core issue is anorexia. Your period will likely regulate itself once you tackle that, but if you don't, you'll either be stuck choosing hormone therapy (with one set of risks) or skipping it entirely (with another set of risks). If I were in your shoes, I'd start by tackling the self-esteem stuff—thoroughly—by finding a solid therapist, not just anyone; bad professionals can actually do more harm than good. Since you're still so young, there's a real chance to fix the self-esteem side of things before it's too late. Besides, irregular periods are common in young women even without eating disorders, and they often stabilize without needing hormones.

But hey, who cares, right? She doesn't have a period, so she has to gain weight, even if it absolutely kills her and makes her miserable.

Look, you don't *have* to do anything—but just know that if you don't, a bright future probably isn't in the cards.😢

It’s not just about her missing periods that should be worrying us—it’s more about her overall mental and physical health...
We aren't just looking at a simple hormone imbalance here; we're talking about her entire endocrine system being out of whack...
At the end of the day, the top priority has to be addressing her low body weight...
From what I can gather, she was actually struggling mentally when she started gaining weight...And honestly? That tells you everything you need to know about how she's processing things. She's still just a kid...
She can't be expected to make these calls on her own. She doesn't have the education yet, and frankly, every new bit of info just ends up spinning her wheels even more. What matters most right now is having parents and doctors who can step in and walk her through the real-world consequences of what's happening...
Let's be real: sooner or later, almost any woman dealing with amenorrhea ends up needing Duphaston...
As for those old horror stories about cancer? Those are pretty outdated...
The much bigger risk factor is if she starts smoking...😲

swiftbear86 said:And all these cancer stories are just outdated...
Smoking is a bigger risk...😲

Sure, smoking is a risk too—no argument there—but calling these things "outdated" isn't quite right:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ovarian-cancer/

http://healthline.com/nutrition/ovarian-cancer-risk-factors

Hey there. I’m new here, and honestly, I only set up this account because I’m at my wits' end with this situation. I haven't scrolled through the other threads yet—I really don't have the luxury of time to dig through 200 pages just to find an answer, so sorry about that... though I doubt anyone else deals with this exact same mess anyway. Let’s get straight to it. I noticed some doctors on here offer advice, so I’m really hoping someone can actually help me out. Here’s the deal:
I’m 21 years old, 5'4", and weigh about 107 lbs...I have never had a period 😢 ...At first, I just assumed I was a late bloomer, but the delay just kept stretching on and on, and I kept putting off going to the doctor. I know you’re probably going to yell at me for procrastinating, but what can I say? I don't have a mom to lean on, and it’s been incredibly hard to talk to anyone about this. Earlier this year, I finally saw a gynecologist for an exam. I forgot to mention that I'm a virgin (which might be part of why this is such a mess, and frankly, it makes me terrified of even being with someone... I actually want to know if it's even okay for me to have sex later on)... Anyway, the gynecologist couldn't really tell me much. She said everything looked fine externally and thought she saw my uterus and ovaries on the ultrasound, but she couldn't be certain because I wasn't prepared (I hadn't even drunk enough water) since nobody told me I needed to. Long story short, I was referred to an endocrinologist who basically did nothing except take my $67 just to tell me the exact same thing the previous doctor did.

I am terrified. My mind is racing through all these possibilities—diseases, cancer... the idea that I might be infertile... or even that I might be partially male 😕 because of some kind of hormonal imbalance. But my hair growth is totally normal; I'm not unusually hairy anywhere, quite the opposite actually. My underarm and pubic hair is standard, and my arms aren't even hairy, just those tiny white hairs you can barely see. I don't have facial hair either. However, I did notice this year that my hair is thinning out significantly, and I have no clue why... PLEASE, IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME! This is driving me absolutely insane and I can't find any peace. Also, I don't have health insurance (and please don't ask me why... it's a long, sad story)... I'm stuck. I'm a student right now, and because of my course load, I can't just spend all day running to clinics; I have mandatory lectures I can't miss. I'm constantly fighting with myself because I know my health should come first, but I'm not in a financial position to just skip classes and life. I'm scared, and I just need to know exactly what steps to take to figure out what's happening. I know the condition is called primary amenorrhea, but I have 😢 no idea what the actual cause is. My biggest fear is something fatal, or the idea that I might be male 😕😕😕 PLEASE HELP ME!

Hair thinning—especially right along the hairline—is often a major red flag that your hormones are acting up. Since you've been dealing with this for such a long time, I suppose it’s reasonable to suspect a chronic endocrine issue might be at the root of it. That said, hair tends to shed more aggressively during this time of year for a lot of people. Regardless, it is a massive deal to get to a doctor as soon as possible (especially if you haven't had a period by age 16) to induce menstruation; the uterine lining needs to shed properly, and if it doesn't, there are actual health risks involved.

As for the hair growth, they’ll want to check for hirsutism—basically, excessive hair in "male-pattern" areas like the chin, around the nipples, the navel, or the abdomen.

Regarding your college responsibilities—please, for your own sake, never use those as an excuse to skip medical care when you're facing something this serious. I went to college myself (and yes, attendance at all labs and seminars was mandatory) while working grueling hours from 6:00 AM to 8:00 PM. I truly believe you can find a way to coordinate a doctor's appointment. Besides, navigating healthcare should be straightforward since you're a student; you have a standard right to coverage, so I don't quite understand how you don't have it yet. Your HEALTH is the priority here—if you continue to neglect it like this, you may deeply regret it one day.

There is absolutely no reason to fear being "masculine"; it seems you already have a diagnosis that explains things. You should book an appointment with a gynecologist (and sort out your insurance/coverage immediately) and make sure to arrive with a full bladder, because (since you're a virgin) they will perform an abdominal UZV scan. So, just bring a bottle of water and that's it. Only after that will they actually be able to tell you what's happening with your ovaries and everything else.

Regarding an endocrinologist, they were supposed to write you a referral for bloodwork to test your reproductive hormones and thyroid levels. These tests usually need to be done between days 2 and 5 of your cycle, so they would likely induce your period first, probably by prescribing Duphaston. Given how much you seem to be paying out of pocket for these exams (when you're a student and could be getting them for free!), they really owe you thorough explanations and proper testing. They certainly shouldn't be cutting corners on referrals, let alone telling you at the end of an exam "that she thinks she saw the uterus and ovaries on the ultrasound".

In short, you have tests coming your way; demand them. Following that, they will likely put you on hormone therapy, such as birth control pills. Good luck—your health really needs to be your number one priority right now. 😉 🙂

First off, thank you so much for getting back to me so quickly!!
My health insurance situation is a bit of a mess because I’m actually an international student here in the States, not a local... so I don't have coverage back home. I'm going to try to get set up through my university's insurance plan right now if I can. It’s honestly infuriating that the endocrinologist didn't even bother to mention medication or write me a prescription. So, what now? Do I have to go back to the gynecologist just to get them to prescribe something and refer me to a specialist? I really hope I'm not, 🤷 well, masculine in any way—I definitely don't have hair in those areas... except for maybe one single stray hair on my left breast. A while back, I started having these sudden pains in my lower abdomen that were absolutely brutal, like someone was literally slicing me with a knife. The pain would radiate down so hard it felt like it was shooting straight through my pelvic area. It used to get so intense that I couldn't even move for a moment until it passed. On the bright side, I developed normally at the right age; my breasts are fine and I’ve had regular periods... well, I still have them. Should I start by checking my thyroid hormone levels and then take pills to induce my period, or what? Also, I'm currently in this huge internal conflict about whether I should sleep with my boyfriend or not. I want to, obviously, but I'm terrified that if anything goes wrong—like if a condom breaks—I wouldn't even know what to do. Could I actually get pregnant? Though, honestly, I feel like that might be impossible given my situation and that I might not even be able to have kids at all... or at least, that's what I've read in some places online, though I have no idea how accurate that is. 😢

Look, you aren't male—don't worry about that. Primary amenorrhea typically means you develop physically as expected, but your body just hasn't triggered that first period yet, which also means ovulation hasn't kicked in.

So, I suppose the first step is to get a much more thorough look at what's actually going on. While you're at that appointment—your OB/GYN will likely write you some referrals (for all your reproductive hormones plus your thyroid levels). They'll probably give you some medication, maybe even >, to jumpstart a period. Once that happens, you'll need to go in for bloodwork specifically between day two and day five of your cycle—ideally day two or three—at whichever lab they direct you to. After you get the results back, you'll take them to your doctor (either the OB/GYN or an endocrinologist, depending on who handled the referrals), and they'll be able to tell you exactly what's happening with your hormone levels and diagnose the situation. 🙂

It's important to keep in mind: in order to test those specific hormone levels properly, you actually have to have a period first. That’s why they give you those temporary pills to induce it. Once you have the results and a clear explanation, they'll likely move you onto a long-term treatment plan—probably some kind of daily pill to ensure your cycles stay regular.

As far as sex goes—yes, obviously, you can have it, just make sure to use a condom. 😉
Regarding pregnancy—honestly, every woman is different, and there's no one-size-fits-all experience. Generally speaking, the sooner you approach this issue with a serious, detailed medical plan, the better. When the time comes that you actually want to have children, you'll sit down and talk through it with a specialist; there are so many modern treatments and options available these days... For now, though, just focus on resolving this part—getting the medical tests done and sorted out—and everything else will fall into place eventually. 🙂

Thanks so much for the advice 🙂🙂

I’m really hoping I can finally track down a doctor who actually knows what they're doing and can help me this time around.
One thing that's been eating at me is whether there's a higher risk of developing something malignant or serious down the road 😢 ...honestly, I start breaking out in a cold sweat just thinking about all these issues... it's a horrible feeling... I don't even get why this is happening to me. My mom had perfectly regular cycles and every other woman in my family did too, so I'm genuinely stumped here. :/ I've always been on the leaner side, but I was never anorexic or anything like that... I couldn't eat my weight off if I tried, haha 🙂 it's just that nothing seems to stick, which is another issue because I've actually wanted to put on a little more weight... I thought maybe that might be tied into everything else going on with my health...
Anyway, I just have to figure this out and somehow push through this whole health nightmare 🙂