bluegull18
Newcomer
3 messages
joined Mar 2014
It’s not actually the pain of getting blood drawn that gets to me. And honestly, it isn’t even the anxiety about what the results might show—I don't sit there spiraling about whether my labs are going to come back bad or whatever. It’s something else entirely. While I’m just sitting there waiting for my turn, my brain starts running these ridiculous little horror movies where the needle snaps off inside my arm, or my blood starts gushing everywhere and they can't get the needle out. Or even worse, I start imagining this phlebotomist accidentally blowing right through the vein and hitting the other side, leaving me with a massive, unstoppable bleed. That's the stuff that haunts me; it’s always playing on a loop in the back of my mind, and I have zero clue why my brain chooses those specific scenarios to obsess over, but it’s my one big, irrational fear when it comes to blood work. I don't actually pass out or anything, but I definitely end up looking deathly pale every single time. The nurses are always checking in on me, asking if I’m feeling okay or if I need to lie down, because it’s pretty obvious I’m having some kind of internal meltdown. When I step away from it all, I tell myself how childish it is, but then the next time I walk back into that clinic, the same old movie starts playing in my head all over again...