Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

Took the advice and headed to the ER with Mom on Monday.
Turns out the fluid is 😠
They drained 5 liters of water and told us they can't take any more right now.
She seemed fine regarding that bloating sensation until this afternoon.
Now she's swollen up again 😢

I honestly expected—and that's how I interpreted the doctor's tone—that it would take much longer before the swelling or bloating returned, not this fast.

Does anyone know anything about this?
Does it mean we're running out of time if it builds up this quickly?
How often is it safe to drain that fluid, and what does it actually do to the body?

Andrew Cruz3 said:I took her advice and headed to the ER with Mom on Monday.
The fluid is still 😠
They drained 5 liters of water from her and told me they can't take any more.
She seemed fine regarding the bloating until this afternoon.
Now she’s swollen up again 😢

I honestly expected the doctors to say the swelling would last longer before it built back up, not this fast.

Does anyone know anything about this?
Does it mean there isn't much time left if the fluid accumulates this quickly?
How often is it safe to drain this fluid, and what does it actually do to the body?

It breaks my heart that we were right.😢
Fluid buildup is a major red flag for kidney and liver failure; unfortunately, it points toward the terminal stage of the disease.😢 Every time they perform a puncture, they just create a new space for more fluid to collect, so draining it is really just a short-term fix. I hope she was put on a dehydration therapy since they sent her home—which, if you ask me, was totally unjustified. She belongs in the hospital because she clearly needs higher IV doses of diuretics and constant monitoring of electrolytes, which get flushed out through urination. Another option is what wanderingcobra76 mentioned: inserting a catheter to continuously drain the accumulated fluid. All of this requires hospitalization. To be blunt, in my experience, doctors rarely bother with the palliative side of things for pragmatic reasons. Since she is in the terminal phase, they simply don't see the point in focusing on her, so you're going to have to push. Mom has every right to every single extra moment she can get with you all! Try to find a contact at the hospital to make sure they look after her, because based on how things have gone so far, they won't do it unless you force their hand.
How much longer this will last is incredibly hard to say; it all hinges on how strong her heart is to withstand the strain, but I fear there isn't much time left—that's usually how it goes.😢
I am so deeply sorry; I know exactly how heavy this feels. If I were in your shoes, my primary focus would be ensuring she has the best palliative care available—making sure she gets her diuretics, stays nourished, hydrated, comfortable, and most importantly, pain-free. Above all else, ensure she is surrounded by people who love her unconditionally. Family and a loving environment are what she needs now to find the strength to hold on. Make the most of every second you have together, as much as circumstances allow.
Hang in there.

I know we aren't supposed to talk about alternatives here, but I was just wondering what everyone thinks about Cannabis oil.

Is there much risk involved in using it?
To be honest, I’d consider trying it if there isn't solid evidence showing it's actually harmful—sort of like how people debate things like flaxseeds or other supplements.

@moderators

I realize I'm pushing the boundaries of the rules, and feel free to penalize me if needed, but I wanted to ask here rather than on an alternative health forum because I'm looking for a high-quality, informed perspective.

Andrew Cruz3 said:I know we aren't supposed to talk about alternative medicine here, but I'm curious—what’s the consensus on Cannabis oil?

Am I going to cause myself some serious damage if I try it?
To be blunt, I'd give it a shot if there isn't hard evidence proving it's actually harmful (unlike some other things, like certain seeds)

@moderators

Look, I know I'm pushing the boundaries of the rules here, and feel free to hand out a penalty, but I want the information from this group. I don't want to go looking on alternative forums because I'm expecting a high-quality, expert-level response right here.

There is such a thing as hemp seed oil, which is perfectly legal and available at any local pharmacy. That's considered a dietary supplement since it's packed with omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids.
As for illegal cannabis oil or using marijuana for medical purposes in general, there's a massive amount of research confirming its effectiveness for specific conditions and diagnoses. However, since it isn't legally regulated for medical use here in the States, there is absolutely no way to ensure proper titration or dosage control. Taking it illegally without any oversight could easily result in more harm than good.

Yeah, actually,
it slips my mind.

@Angela Wright/">@@Angela Wright

Thanks so much for the help and the kind words.
I know I mostly just show up here looking for answers, but like you already know—it hasn't been easy.

Thanks to everyone else too (wanderingcobra76 and the rest)

Andrew Cruz3 said:Yeah, true,
I keep forgetting.

@Angela Wright/">@@Angela Wright

Thanks so much for the help and the kind words.
I know I just show up here hunting for answers, but like you already know—it’s been rough.

Thanks to everyone else too (wanderingcobra76 and the rest)

Don't mention it. Honestly, I haven't said anything particularly sweet to you, and I feel bad about that 😢. Sometimes I hesitate to tell people what I actually know because it feels like the blunt truth can hit them like a sledgehammer; people often aren't ready to face the very thing they're asking about. But then again, I look back at my own life—even though I struggled hard to swallow the reality of my own situation, I was ultimately grateful to hear the truth once I finally managed to uncover it.

Angela Wright said:Don't mention it. Honestly, I didn't say anything particularly kind, and I'm sorry about that 😢. Sometimes I hesitate to tell people what I know because the blunt truth can hit pretty hard. People often aren't actually ready to hear the answers to the questions they ask. But looking back at my own experience, even though dealing with the reality was tough, I'm glad I eventually heard the truth once I managed to find it.

It’s just that everyone keeps sugarcoating things for me, even after I told them I want the truth (Mom doesn't need to know since she isn't really built for the heavy stuff), so it’s starting to get under my skin a bit.
But hearing actual, realistic information from you means a lot.
The fact that you aren't giving me "nice" news isn't on you.😢

wiredotter75 said:Hey. Just trying to give you an answer. I'm currently undergoing the chemotherapy protocol for colon cancer...

wiredotter75, you’re a hero. Fifty-five rounds of chemo and you’re still standing. You don't just deserve a cure; you deserve a long, happy life. I'll be praying for you tonight.

I finished my second cycle eight days ago, and frankly, I haven't recovered at all. I have no idea when I will. It's constant vomiting, perpetual nausea, weakness, illness—the whole spectrum of post-chemo misery. After the first round, I managed to pull myself together enough for the second, but as things stand, there won't be a third. I simply can't. Perhaps I'm just weak or a coward, but I lack the strength to even stand up in my own house, let alone make it to a third cycle. My nephew has his graduation this Sunday; will I even be able to attend? I highly doubt it. That is what hurts the most.

That is why I admire people like wiredotter75. You deserve nothing but the best. To me, you are a hero among heroes.

Naturally, they still haven't pinpointed the exact location of the adenocarcinoma, yet they are persistent about pumping me full of toxins. I've developed a massive issue where I vomit both before and after eating. At the mere mention of the word "food," my stomach turns. I force myself to drink or eat anything I can, but it doesn't work. One sip goes down, two immediately come back up (same with bites of food). The will to fight is there, but my body refuses to cooperate.

The strength is gone. I need treatment.

P.S. What happens if I refuse the next chemotherapy cycle?

Kevin Bishop10 said:Victor, you're a legend! 55 rounds of chemotherapy and you're still fighting! You don't just deserve a cure, you deserve a long, happy life. I'll be praying for you tonight!

I finished my second round of chemo eight days ago and I'm still totally wiped out. Honestly, I have no clue when I'll feel normal again. It's constant vomiting, nausea, exhaustion, sickness—all the usual crap that follows chemo... After the first round, I managed to bounce back enough to take the second, but looking at how things are going, there's no way I can handle a third. I just can't! Maybe I'm just weak, or a coward, whatever, but I barely have the strength to stand up at home, let alone make it to a third cycle. My nephew has his graduation this Sunday, and I honestly doubt I'll even be able to show up. That's what hurts the most, I guess.

That's why I respect people like Victor so much. You deserve the absolute best. To me, you're a hero among heroes.

Of course, they still haven't pinned down exactly where the adenocarcinoma is, but they're being relentless about pumping me full of poison. I've developed this issue where I'm throwing up before and after eating. Just thinking about food makes my stomach flip. I try to force myself to drink or eat anything, but it just won't stay down. One sip goes in, two immediately come right back out! (same with bites of food). I want to fight, I really do, but my body isn't cooperating.

I'm out of gas. I need treatment.

P.S. What happens if I just say no to the next chemo cycle?

Hey
Please, don't bail on the chemo. You could seriously mess up your chances by doing that. Things will settle down eventually. Maybe part of the struggle is just mental, but hey, take it slow. Trust me, I'm hitting the bathroom 20 times a day, so I get it... maybe yours is even worse since the vomiting is so depressing. Just try to find some food that sticks. Maybe in 5 or 6 days, you'll actually taste something again. And you've got good odds. So what if they aren't 100% sure where it is? In my case, they know. I've basically been handed a death sentence. I'm not looking for pity, it's just the reality. I've been listening to my body from day one and I know how this goes. Everything was fine during the first line of chemo, but now my body is starting to quit on me. Now I've got ascites, which everyone says happens in the terminal stage. I haven't gone in for a puncture yet; I don't think I need to. I'm still holding onto hope that the ascites might go away, maybe because those CT scans aren't always perfect—not by a long shot. The last scan showed a narrowing in the colon, but now that's gone, though the ascites is here. Last time it was one thing, now it's another.
But whatever, we all know what Stage 4 with mets in the peritoneum looks like; I've seen the pictures online.
But YOU simply cannot give up,,, hey, wishing you the best.

wiredotter75 said:Hey
Please don't turn down the chemotherapy. You could really mess things up for yourself if you do. Things will settle down eventually. Maybe part of the issue is just mental, but hey, take it easy. Trust me, I’m hitting the bathroom 20 times a day, so I get it... maybe your situation is even worse since the vomiting is what really drags you down. Just try to find *something* you can stomach. Give it 5 or 6 days, surely some flavor will stick. And who cares if they aren't sure where it's located? For me, it's pretty clear—my death warrant is already signed. Not that I'm looking for pity or anything, it's just how it is. I've been tracking my body from the start and I know the drill. Everything was fine during the first round of the chemotherapy protocol, but now my body is starting to quit on me. Now there's this ascites thing. People say that happens in the terminal stage, but I haven't gone in for a drainage procedure yet. I don't think I need to. I still believe the ascites might clear up, maybe because those CT scans aren't 100% accurate anyway—not by a long shot. The last scan showed a narrowing in the large intestine, but this one doesn't show that, though it does have ascites. Last time it was one thing, now it's another...
Whatever, we all know what Stage 4 with metastasis in the peritoneum looks like. I've seen the pictures online...
But YOU simply cannot give up,,,hey, take care,,

BTW, I was in the absolute worst shape right after surgery and at the start of chemo rounds 1 through 5. I dropped from 180 lbs down to 127 lbs, and I'm 5'11"... so you can imagine how rough that was.
Now I'm at 165 lbs... though this recent flu hit me hard and dragged me back down to about 162. Try some Prosor, Ensure, boiled rice, peeled apples, or maybe some dry toast. Personally, by the second or third day, I can handle some white coffee with stale bread... stuff like that. You just have to fight. Once you get cancer, it's nothing but a fight. Don't stress, just take it slow, one day at a time.

I’m begging you guys—if anyone actually understands these test results, please explain what’s going on in plain English. We have an appointment with the doctor this Wednesday. We already know things aren't looking good, but we have zero clue what the actual problem is. 😢

stormyfalcon6 said:I’m asking for a huge favor here—if anyone actually understands these medical results, could you please explain what’s going on in plain English? We have an appointment with the doctor this Wednesday. It's crystal clear that things aren't looking good, but we're completely in the dark about what exactly is happening. 😢

The results show that, compared to the last scan, the disease has unfortunately progressed. I can't tell you exactly where or what specifically has changed because you didn't include the previous report. It mentions a recurrence, which basically means the tumor has popped back up in the exact spot where it was before—either it never truly left or they removed it and now it's back. On top of that, there are traces in the lymph nodes, and there’s fluid buildup in the abdomen and around the lungs. That’s never a good sign. 😢 Bottom line: the current therapy hasn't cut it, so we're moving on to the next line of treatment.
Look, this is just my two cents, and I’ll admit I’m speaking purely from a layman's perspective here. I’m pretty sure wanderingcobra76 will be able to give you a much more competent answer than I can.

Here’s the report from February. She had the Whipple procedure at the start of December. The surgeon told us they got everything out. He was on the fence about chemo, but he ended up recommending it anyway. That last report I showed you was from February, right before she started the chemo cycles. Since then, she’s finished two rounds. I’m not 100% sure which specific drugs they used, just that it's all preventative stuff.

stormyfalcon6, the issue is that the Metformin seems to have affected the liver, and since there’s a recurrence at the incision site, the ascites has flared up and pushed fluid into the pleura. They'll likely start a course of diuretics if they haven't already. I'm sure wanderingcobra76 will be able to explain the medical specifics better than I can.
It looks like the disease progressed quite rapidly over just three months, especially considering she was actually on therapy, but unfortunately, dealing with cancer is always this brutal.

Thanks! After that surgery went well, we actually thought things were finally looking up, but now...😢

My Mom passed away from pancreatic adenocarcinoma, so I truly understand what you're going through.
Nobody really wanted to give us the full details about what to expect, so we had to navigate it all on our own—unfortunately... I won't get too deep into the specifics right now. But it makes sense; people often struggle to speak openly about such heavy, uncomfortable topics.

It's vital to hold onto a strong faith that this isn't the end (it isn't!), and to believe that God has laid out our paths this way... He knows everything, while we—honestly—know almost nothing.
So much in life feels unfair or senseless at first glance, but whether we want to or not, we have to accept it—because we don't know the true reasons, and it isn't up to us, but to the Creator...

stormyfalcon6 said:Thanks! After that successful surgery, we really thought we were finally out of the woods and everything would go smoothly, but now...😢

Even if things aren't going exactly the way we planned, there’s absolutely no reason to lose hope or just throw in the towel. There is still so much work to be done, and there is still plenty of high-quality time left to squeeze out of this life—that needs to be the absolute priority right now. As for dwelling on hope or contemplating what comes after this life, we’ll all have plenty of time for that individually later on. While we are actually here, we need to focus on the challenges that life and God have placed directly in our path. You probably knew from the jump—maybe people didn't tell you straight, but I'm sure you did your own Google searches and found out—that dealing with ovarian cancer alongside a glioblastoma is about as brutal as a diagnosis gets because of how sneaky and aggressive it is. It takes an incredible amount of grit to face that reality and still find the strength to wake up and start a new day. Now that we're facing this new set of facts, we have to accept them and keep moving forward. There are no "healthier" or "smarter" versions of this situation waiting around the corner.

I’m thinking the exact same thing as you guys. I lost my Mom in such a short amount of time—she had stomach cancer. 😢 Now, it's my mother-in-law. She's the biggest problem here because she is just relentlessly pessimistic. We have the same damn conversations every single day, but nothing ever changes. Personally, I believe that if God helped catch that pancreas issue early enough—especially since the surgery went so well—then there's still hope that everything will turn out okay this time too. It just takes an incredible amount of mental strength to fight a battle this big. My biggest fear is that she’ll just give up because of her mindset. Right after the surgery, she actually told me she knew exactly what was coming her way just so she wouldn't even bother going through with it. 😢 Of course, she turned her nose up at getting any psychological help.

stormyfalcon6 said:I find myself thinking along exactly the same lines as you all. I lost my Mom in such a devastatingly short window of time—she had stomach cancer. 😢 Now, the situation involves my mother-in-law. To be honest, she is the primary obstacle here; her pessimism is relentless. Every single day, we find ourselves circling the exact same conversations, yet there is absolutely no progress to be made. I truly believe that if God saw fit to help catch that pancreatic issue early enough—especially since the surgery went flawlessly—then perhaps there is hope for this, too. It just requires an immense amount of mental fortitude to face such a massive battle. My greatest fear? That she might simply give up because of her own mindset. Right after the operation, she actually admitted she knew exactly what was coming—which is why she almost refused to go through with it in the first place. 😢 Naturally, she has turned her nose up at any offer of psychological counseling.

I realize this might not carry much weight, but I personally know two people who fought through it and are now living completely normal lives after battling pancreatic cancer—which should, hopefully, serve as some motivation for you, given how much we all dread the mortality rate associated with that specific diagnosis.

stormyfalcon6 said:I’m thinking along the exact same lines as you guys. I lost my Mom in such a short window of time—she had stomach cancer. 😢 Now, it's my mother-in-law we're dealing with. She's really the biggest hurdle because she is incredibly pessimistic. We have the same exact conversations with her every single day, but we aren't making any headway. Personally, I believe that if God stepped in to help catch the pancreatic issue early on, and since the surgery went flawlessly, there's still hope that everything will turn out okay. It just takes an immense amount of mental fortitude to fight this kind of battle. My biggest fear is that her mindset will cause her to give up. Right after the surgery, she actually told me she knew exactly what was coming her way just so she wouldn't bother going through with it in the first place. 😢 Naturally, she turned down any kind of psychological counseling.

It doesn't necessarily mean she's weak. Sometimes having that kind of attitude toward the world is just a defense mechanism—you know, people love to play up the drama and act like they're defeated, even when deep down they actually want to fight and truly intend to. My Mom was exactly like that.