Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

I’ve been lurking in this thread for a while now, wanting to contribute, but I kept typing and deleting everything before finally finding the courage to post...

About a month ago, my mom was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma that had already metastasized to her liver and lungs, along with pleural carcinoma and ascites... 😢

Right at the moment of diagnosis, she wasn't really experiencing any major symptoms. Over time, things have started to decline slowly. Her legs have weakened, making walking harder, and she’s lost some of her appetite, though she still felt relatively okay and was eating reasonably well (I’ve been keeping her fueled with plenty of fruits and veggies—swapping out regular oils for coconut oil, cutting out red meat entirely, and making sure flaxseed oil and low-fat cottage cheese are staples...). Most importantly, she wasn't in pain.

She was initially against chemotherapy because, in her eyes, it would just signal the beginning of the end. I eventually managed to talk her into it, though. We saw the oncologist, and on July 18th, she received her first dose of gemcitabine (just a single infusion, not a full cycle yet). Since then, her condition has taken a drastic turn for the worse, and she seems to be declining every single day. 👎 She spends entire days confined to bed, barely eats anything besides a little fruit in the morning, vomits at least twice a day, struggles to walk, and worst of all, is suffering from intense pain. Honestly, I’m sitting here wondering if continuing with chemo makes any sense at all, especially considering how aggressive this particular cancer is. But at the same time, I don't see any other path forward.

Yesterday, I ordered some raw propolis, and tomorrow I’m heading over to Whole Foods to pick up some high-quality honey with royal jelly. I’ve also read that beet, lemon, carrot, and apple juice can be beneficial, so I’m going to start prepping that for her too.

I’ve spent so much time scouring the internet, reading every study I can find. The most significant thing I came across was an article from the Cancer Research Institute journal, but I’m having a hard time actually tracking down the full text.

A little while ago, I managed to convince her to try some chair squats. She actually completed ten reps! I even told her she needs to get a T-shirt that says Never Give Up! It actually made her laugh, which was nice. 😁

I apologize if this post feels a bit scattered. I truly wish the very best for everyone here, especially wiredotter75.

swiftpanther102 said:John Doe: Is the second round of chemo typically harder to handle than the first?

To be specific—my father was vomiting for four days following his initial treatment, and he’s scheduled for his second round in just a few days. It’s the PE protocol—something platinum-based—administered over two consecutive days: the first session lasts about four hours, followed by a two-hour session the next day.
He's still feeling quite uncertain about facing this second round; despite his bloodwork looking relatively solid after the first, the anxiety regarding potential side effects is weighing heavily on him. 😢

Our experience... it wasn't🙂
We went through six cycles total, and if memory serves, the 1st and 4th were the toughest ones we endured.
We realized that staying incredibly hydrated makes a massive difference—I'd highly recommend beet juice as well...
Wishing you the best.

Richard Sanders7 said:I've been lurking here for a while, wanting to post, then deleting everything and just walking away...

About a month ago, my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic adenocarcinoma with liver and lung metastases, pleural carcinomatosis, ascites, and all that bad stuff... 😢

When they first found out, she wasn't even feeling much of anything. But things started sliding downhill pretty fast. Her legs got weak, walking became a struggle, and she lost some appetite—but honestly, she still felt okay. She was eating reasonably well (I tried to keep her on a clean diet—lots of fruit and veggies, swapped regular oil for coconut, cut out red meat, made sure she had flaxseed oil and low-fat cottage cheese, etc.). And she wasn't in pain.

She didn't want chemo because, in her eyes, that’s just the beginning of the end. I eventually talked her into it, though. We saw an oncologist, and on July 18th, she had her first dose of gemcitabine (just one infusion, not a full cycle yet). Since then, things have gone south fast. Every single day is worse than the last. 👎 She spends all day in bed, barely eats (maybe some fruit in the morning), throws up at least twice a day, can hardly walk, and worst of all, she's in massive pain. I honestly don't know if there's any point in pushing the chemo, especially since this specific cancer is basically the worst of the worst. But I don't see any other choice.

Yesterday I ordered some raw propolis, and tomorrow I'm hitting up Whole Foods to find some decent honey with royal jelly. I also read that beet, lemon, carrot, and apple juice might help, so I'll start prepping that too.

I've scoured the entire internet, reading everything I can get my hands on. The most solid thing I stumbled upon was this article from the Cancer Research Institute. But I have no clue how to actually track down the full thing.

A little bit ago, I managed to get her to do some sit-to-stand exercises in her chair. She did ten reps. I told her she needs to buy a shirt that says Never Give Up! She actually laughed. 😁

Sorry if this post is a bit all over the place. Wishing everyone here the best, especially wiredotter75.

THANK YOU SO MUCH..
I mostly just come here to lurk because posting on this cancer forum plus Facebook is just exhausting, but then I read your post—knowing what pancreatic cancer means, the liver mets, the ascites, ugh—and then I hit that last sentence where you mentioned me and I just broke down crying..
I'm so sorry about your mom. Keep encouraging her, stay strong. There's always something more that can be done; it's all about mindset, strength, and love. Hang in there. I'll send you something via DM... can't say it publicly.
BTW, I'm heading in for a new round of chemo this Friday... last line of defense... we'll see. I caught some kind of bug from the coast because I let my guard down too much—swimming, eating ice cream twice a day, drinking wine, falling in love, and all that. So now I've got a fever. Hopefully, I'll be okay by Friday..
Peace to all the fighters and everyone in this family.

Hey, I need some help here. Does anyone know which doctor at Mayo Clinic is the one people talk about? I need to get a second opinion regarding cancer research institute issues. Thanks.

I drop by here all the time just to read—even when I’m lurking instead of posting. :-) It feels like the number of people fighting these battles is constantly growing. Having watched my sister fight for years before she passed, and then my dad last year... I see myself in every single sentence written by someone looking for advice for a loved one. You ask, you question, you run yourselves ragged—there's so much info out there, but God knows we rarely know where to actually find it.

Hey everyone,

First off, hope you're all having a decent day. Hang in there and keep that chin up!!!!

So, I'm back with another question:

My dad’s been dealing with this nonstop hiccups since yesterday, right after finishing his second round of the PE protocol. The weird part is they only seem to stop when he's actually eating something, and I'm kind of at a loss for how to help him out. At least he isn't throwing up like he was after the first cycle—fingers crossed it stays that way because man, he really went through it last time.

Does anyone have any advice? His primary care doctor suggested giving him Reglan three times a day to knock the hiccups out.

Has anyone else dealt with this specific issue??? Any idea what might be triggering it or what we can do to make him more comfortable?

swiftpanther102, I know there’s a specific medication manufactured over in Mexico that actually works for hiccups like this. It runs about $6.75, but I can't quite wrap my head around the name 😢 right now. Unfortunately, it isn't approved here in the States, so you won't be able to pick it up at any local pharmacy

Angela Wright said:swiftpanther102, I know there is a medication produced over in Mexico that helps with this kind of hiccuping. It costs about $6.75, though I can't quite recall the name 😢. Unfortunately, it isn't registered here in the States, so you won't be able to get it
.

It's called largaticil

Give Coca-Cola a try—breathing into a paper bag, or maybe just a spoonful of honey

And if it's already part of your regimen, codeine might offer some relief

@swiftpanther102, I truly hope it’s already passed... these things usually just stop at some point for no apparent reason whatsoever

My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer a few days ago, and it’s already metastasized to his brain. The doctors aren't sugarcoating it—they say things look grim and he's nearing the end. We’re all in total shock right now. It’s hard even to think about searching Google when I don't even know where to begin, and honestly, I just don't have the strength.
We should have the specific diagnosis and the rest of the test results tomorrow, but they told us we need to get him to Los Angeles immediately—first for a few days of radiation on his head, and then back to our local hospital for chemotherapy.
There's one thing I'm wondering about—he’s a veteran. Are there any specific rights we have regarding emergency ambulance transport to the hospital in LA, or any priority for placement in certain wards?
They mentioned we might need to find private lodging because the hospitals are completely full.
Does anyone know if being a veteran gives him any kind of advantage or priority when it comes to getting a bed?
I'm not bringing this up to save money on a hotel or anything; it's just that he feels incredibly sick. And with this heatwave, I really don't know how he's going to manage walking from some random rental to the hospital for his radiation sessions.
If anyone knows anything at all, please, could you help me out?

Angela Wright said:swiftpanther102, I’m pretty sure there’s a specific medication manufactured over in Mexico that actually works for this kind of hiccups. It’ll probably run you about... $6.75...honestly, I can't even think of the name right now. 😢 Unfortunately, it isn't even registered here in the States, so there's absolutely no way to get your hands on it.

Ashley Murphy said:It’s called largaticil.
Look, if you’re going to insist on playing doctor, why stop there? Why not throw some Coca-Cola into the mix? Or maybe try breathing into a paper bag? Heck, just have them swallow a spoonful of honey and see if that fixes everything!
I’m telling you, if they actually included codeine in the treatment plan, it might actually do some good.
@swiftpanther102/">@@swiftpanther102, I really hope it’s already over... honestly, I just hope this whole thing stops sometime soon without any clear reason for why it even started in the first place.

In the States, we’ve got Promazine, or even something more potent like Haloperidol.

Alex Hayes2, I can't speak to veterans' rights, but as a cancer patient who needs brain radiation that isn't available here in New York City, I think we should be getting our travel expenses covered. Honestly, you should be hospitalized for this. Brain radiation can cause side effects like cerebral edema, and driving around in this heat is just not something a patient in that condition should be doing. You really need to fight like hell to secure a hospital bed.

Alex Hayes2
My dad is a veteran, too—we’ve actually been looking into things lately because we just filed his disability claim since he can't work full-time anymore. That said, he’s already planning to pick up some freelance gigs once he’s feeling better, even after the pension kicks in.
Regarding legal rights, from what I understand (my mom is handling the paperwork and all the bureaucratic legwork), he should be entitled to a one-time lump sum payment as a veteran. The max amount is roughly $1333, though they usually determine the specific figure once the full application is submitted. He’ll likely also have coverage for medications and other medical supplements—I'm not 100% certain on the specifics of the latter, though. Mom is heading to the Social Security Administration this week to get the full rundown on what's required, so I'll update you guys once we know more.
As for transportation, like > mentioned, he qualifies for assistance as an oncology patient. Regarding lodging—if by any chance they can't admit him to the hospital immediately—it might be a good idea to see if there's a local veterans' association nearby. It’s worth reaching out to them to see if they can help coordinate a place to stay.

Regarding my dad's actual progress—we’re fighting through it. He just finished his second round of chemo; this time he was on a standard PE protocol (with a slightly lower dose of etoposide), and he actually handled it pretty well. Our next cycle is scheduled for August 13th.
We’re still giving him propolis every single day, and he’s eating apricot kernels daily too—about twenty a day. We have our own apricot tree at home, so we’ve been able to prep plenty for him. His back pain has eased up quite a bit; he’s still using patches, but he only takes the Sevredol when it’s absolutely necessary, which isn't often anymore. Most importantly, he finally started walking again. He’s using both crutches and someone is always right by his side—mostly because he still gets a bit anxious when his legs feel weak from being bedridden—but he’s doing great, and his spirit is incredibly strong.
He's my favorite guy, my absolute hero.🙂

Thank you all so much for sharing everything you know.
I’m still feeling pretty overwhelmed and honestly just in shock, but I’m trying my best to gather all the facts. Even with the grim outlook, I want to do everything within my power.
It seems like apricot kernels might actually be helpful, so we’re going to pick some up.
Right now, she's taking black seed oil—about 20 drops, three times a day.
My sister keeps bringing up resveratrol, but I’m having a hard time figuring out where to actually buy it.
It feels like every single day I learn something new about this adenocarcinoma. It’s more than I ever thought I’d have to process.😢

I think I caught something about this online recently—apparently, those apricot pits have some components in them that aren't exactly great for you. Honestly, I’ve stopped eating them altogether. I can't give you the full breakdown right now because the specifics are slipping my mind, but I'd definitely suggest doing a bit of your own digging and looking into it. If I stumble upon more details or remember exactly what the deal is, I'll be sure to post an update here.

My old man is still dealing with this constant hiccuping, and it’s been four days since his second round of chemo. We’ve tried those classic home remedies—you know, drinking water upside down, sipping on some Coke, all that stuff—but nothing seems to touch it. His oncologist told him to stick to the anti-nausea meds to help settle everything down, but honestly? It hasn't done a damn thing for the hiccups. :/ 🤷

Hey everyone.
My dad’s been in the hospital for over three weeks now. He was admitted because of ascites and vomiting. They drained some fluid—about 18 liters total—and found a few malignant cells in there. He’s had a colonoscopy, bronchoscopy, endoscopy, CT scans of his abdomen, head, and chest, plus X-rays. Everything else looks normal, just typical for a 65-year-old.
For the first ten days, the vomiting actually stopped. He started eating and drinking a little bit. Then it started again, constantly. At first he couldn't eat anything, then eventually he couldn't even keep water down without throwing it up immediately.
On Friday, they did a contrast study and found an ileus. He was rushed into surgery, but the surgeon basically just opened him up and closed him back up. 😢 He said there wasn't much he could do because everything is just packed with tumors. He took a biopsy, so we're just waiting on those results now. 😢
The prognosis is pretty grim. The surgeon isn't even sure if my dad will make it to chemotherapy, or if the oncologist will even decide to go that route. But strangely, my dad feels great. No pain, good mood, talking... he honestly looks better than when he was at home. Aside from the ileus, there aren't any other diagnoses. We can't find the primary tumor, and I get the feeling the doctors are just as lost as we are. 🤷
I'm wondering if anyone here has dealt with something like this, or if there are other places we should reach out to for advice?

Thanks.

Jamie Brooks4 said:Hi everyone.
My dad has been in the hospital for over three weeks now. He was admitted for ascites and vomiting. They drained fluid from him—about 18 liters total—and found a few malignant cells in it. He’s had a colonoscopy, bronchoscopy, endoscopy, CT scans of his abdomen, head, and chest, plus X-rays. Everything else looks normal and expected for a 65-year-old.
For the first ten days, the vomiting stopped. He started eating and drinking a little, but then the constant vomiting returned. At first, he couldn't eat anything, and eventually, he couldn't even keep water down.
On Friday, they did a contrast study and found an ileus. It was an emergency surgery, but the surgeon just opened him up and closed him back up... 😢 He said there was nothing he could actually do because everything is packed with tumors. He took a biopsy, so now we're just waiting on the results.😢
The prognosis is grim. The surgeon isn't even sure if my dad will make it to chemotherapy, or if the oncologist will even decide to proceed with it. But strangely, Dad feels great. No pain, high spirits, chatting away... he looks way better than he did at home. Aside from the ileus, there aren't any other diagnoses. We can't find the primary tumor, and honestly, it feels like the doctors are just as confused as we are.🤷
Has anyone dealt with something like this? Is there anywhere else we should go for a second opinion?

Thanks!

I'm definitely not qualified to give advice, but I know that in many American hospitals, there's unfortunately a lot of incompetent staff, including surgeons. So, it's entirely possible you have reason to be optimistic because that surgeon might not have known what he was looking at...

My aunt was recently diagnosed with lung cancer that had metastasized—three different radiologists swore it was real—only for it to turn out to be a complete misdiagnosis. It wasn't malignant at all.

Does anyone have advice on where I should ask if this diuretic regimen is too much? My primary care doctor prescribed these for ascites and leg swelling caused by peritoneal carcinomatosis, since the oncologist just gave a general recommendation for diuretics and left us to figure out the specifics.
So, daily, it looks like:
one 40 mg dose of Lasix,
one 50 mg dose of Aldactone, and
half a dose of Xanax (dissolved in about 4 ounces of water)?

Is it okay to take all of these at once—just swallow both pills along with the Xanax—or should there be some kind of spacing out during the day?

crimsongull20 said:I'm definitely not an expert here, but I know that in our hospitals, unfortunately, there’s a huge amount of incompetent staff—surgeons included. So, it’s entirely possible you have a reason to be relieved because that surgeon might have had no clue what they were looking at.

My aunt was recently diagnosed with lung cancer that had supposedly metastasized, after three different radiologists swore it was real. Turns out, they were all wrong and it wasn't malignant at all.

Honestly, we're leaning toward thinking the doctors messed up somewhere because this just doesn't make sense. I just don't know where to go for a second opinion.🤷 My dad is still stuck in the hospital, so we don't have any actual test results yet.
I even called his private gastroenterologist, and the guy basically told me there's nothing to do but believe whatever the surgeon who operated on him says.🤷

How did you guys eventually figure out the truth about your aunt?

And can someone explain if it's even possible for all the tests to come back normal with advanced cancer, having only a few malignant cells in abdominal fluid, while the patient feels perfectly fine?

Jamie Brooks4 said:To be honest, we’re also leaning toward thinking the doctors are missing something because this whole situation makes zero sense, I just don't know where to go for a second opinion.🤷 My dad is still stuck in the hospital, so we haven't even seen the actual test results yet.
I even called his private gastroenterologist, and the guy basically told me there's no other option besides trusting the surgeon who performed the operation.🤷

How did you all manage to get answers for your aunt?

And can someone please explain to me: is it actually possible for someone with advanced cancer to have mostly normal test results, only a tiny number of malignant cells found in the abdominal fluid, and still feel perfectly fine?

Unfortunately, given how widespread this is, the ascites, and the malignancy confirmed within it, we aren't talking about anything benign here.😢 This isn't just some hunch from a surgeon who has enough experience to recognize a case the moment he sees it; it's backed by the pathologist who analyzed the fluid sample. There really isn't room for debate here because when it comes to diagnosing malignancy, the pathologist's word is the final authority.
A primary tumor doesn't necessarily have to be large; it can be small enough to slip right past a gastroscopy or colonoscopy unnoticed. Considering his age and how aggressively this has spread, it’s most likely colorectal cancer, and they’ll probably suggest chemotherapy for that if they can't pin down the exact origin. What kind of tumor markers did they run, and what were the levels?
Everyone is built differently, and nobody reacts to illness in the same way. Just last week, I buried my aunt who was diagnosed with highly invasive breast cancer three years ago. She refused to accept the diagnosis and didn't opt for surgery until a year later. She ended up hospitalized for lymphedema this spring, skipped radiation (she initially refused, then found holding her arm in the required position too painful to bear), stayed on X until the very end, and all her tests looked great—though personally, I suspect she had a metastasis in her brain. She just ran out of steam and faded away... you see all kinds of stories.