Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

this forum has been shut down, you might want to try asking over at the "cancer isn't the end" forum instead.

Hey everyone..
Well, it's me again. This time I won't be talking about my husband—and thank God for that, he's doing fine, so I don't have anything to vent about regarding him..
This time, I'm writing about myself.
I have cancer. Breast cancer. They're going to operate.
I don't even know how to put into words how shocked I am; I'm still reeling from it all. I just found out yesterday.
So, here we go, back in the fight, but this time it's for myself.
All these years, almost nine years now, I've been telling people there’s no such thing as an unbeatable disease and that everything was going to be okay.
Man, I really wish someone would say that to me for once.

My dear Rose....

I’ll be the first to admit I don't exactly have a gift for expressing emotions through writing—so perhaps I’m not the most eloquent person to leave the first comment...
Your words left me profoundly saddened; my immediate thought was wondering where that almighty God has hidden himself, and whether He ever truly looks down upon us...

I believe, and I am certain, that you will overcome this illness as well..
And I am sure you know that, that you can, and that you will...
I know everything will be alright with you, because there is no such thing as an invincible disease...
You and your husband have proven that to all of us
This is merely one more battle that you are going to win
and everything will be fine once again

I am sending you all my positive thoughts and every ounce of my strength
🙂🙂🙂

Lisa White54 said:Hey everyone..
It's me again. This time I’m not posting about my husband—and thank God for that, because he's doing fine and I don't have anything to report regarding him..
This time, I'm writing about myself.
I have cancer. Breast cancer. They're going to operate.
I can't even begin to tell you how shocked I am—I'm still reeling.. I just found out yesterday.
So, here we go, back into the fight, but this time it's for myself.
All these years past—it's been nearly 9 full years now—that I've been telling people there's no such thing as an invincible disease and that everything will be okay.
I really wish someone would say that to me for once.

Hang in there, Lisa! Nobody wants to hear that, but I actually have three neighbors who SURVIVED breast cancer—one about 5 years ago, and two over 10 years ago.. and they're all still right here with us! It's not easy... definitely not, but RIGHT NOW you have to stay laser-focused on yourself. Go get every single test possible, join a breast cancer support group—they will help you sooooo much—and they'll be there for you. They offer useful advice and psychological support, and you can share your fears with them. These groups exist in every major city—go look for one. I can actually connect you with a few people—some acquaintances of mine on Facebook who are currently undergoing treatment—just shoot me a private message. You are never, ever alone... there are always people ready to step up and help, no matter how dark things look right after a diagnosis. You've got to fight! Hang in there!

Hey everyone... unfortunately, we lost the fight. My dad passed away on Thursday... he went too soon. At the start of July, he had surgery for Stage 3 colon cancer. We breezed through the first round of chemo without any issues, and he actually showed up for the second round with great stats—white blood cell count was at 11. But then, just a week after that second round, he collapsed. We rushed him to Mount Sinai Hospital, and he was gone in less than two weeks. Honestly, I don't think the tumor killed him in the end; it was the chemo. His body was just too weak to handle it—his whole system basically just gave out. So, listen, please look after yourselves. If you suspect something is wrong, get to a doctor immediately. If my dad had sought medical attention even slightly earlier when the illness first started, maybe his body wouldn't have been so depleted, and maybe we’d still have a shot. When things hit the fan, you have to fight with everything you've got (my dad did). Along with the chemo, boost your immune system and listen to the people who have already walked this path. And let your loved ones fight, too. It's going to be brutal, but don't back down. My dad fought, and our whole family fought right alongside him. It's some small comfort knowing he passed without pain and didn't suffer for long. In the end, we had to find the strength to tell him to let go and trust in God, because there's no pain, no nausea, and no fever there. Don't be selfish in those final moments. Be brave and keep the faith.

Austin Stewart2, please accept my deepest condolences.

Austin Stewart2, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss... nobody ever sees this coming, and honestly, I went through the exact same thing just a few years back. Sending so much love—may your dad rest in peace.

Lisa White54 said:Hi everyone..
It’s me again. This time, I won't be talking about my husband—thank God he’s doing fine and I don't have anything to report regarding him..
This time, I'm writing about myself.
I have cancer. Breast cancer. I’m going in for surgery.
I can't even begin to tell you how shocked I am; I'm still reeling from it. I just found out yesterday.
So, here I am, back in the fight, but this time it's for myself.
For nearly nine years now, I've been telling people that there is no such thing as an unbeatable disease and that everything will turn out okay.
I really wish someone would say those words to me for once.

Oh, Lisa, what can I even say to you... it's obvious that life decided to hit you all at once, and honestly, it feels like all that built-up stress finally caught up. Try looking at this from a different angle: you have so much experience under your belt that you won't be wandering around blind like everyone else, which is already a massive advantage. Plus, this is going to forge an even deeper bond with your husband since you two will be leaning on each other completely. He’s going to be your rock through all of this. You’re going to pull through—there's no way a woman of your strength wouldn't. 😉
What exactly did the test results show?

Austin Stewart2, I am so incredibly sorry; please accept my sincerest condolences. You all did everything exactly the right way. May you all find peace, and may you carry him with pride—both in him and in yourselves.

Austin Stewart2, I am so sorry.
Rose, it was honestly so hard for me to read what you wrote. It sounds like life has been incredibly cruel to all of you. I truly hope from the bottom of my heart that you find the strength for yourself, just like you did for your husband. I really believe everything is going to be okay—it has to be. You just have to hold onto that faith.

I guess I should jump in here too. My Mom had an above-knee amputation on her left leg yesterday. It’s just been one thing after another—she already had a below-knee amputation on her right leg about seven months ago, and she was finally starting to recover, and then this happens. On top of everything, she’s dealing with kidney issues. Now, some blisters have started appearing on the skin of her backside ever since she spent those few days at Mount Sinai Hospital. While she was at home, she didn't have any of these blisters. Her nurse at the hospital put some kind of bandage on them today. Honestly, I don't know how I'm going to get through this... I feel like I'm doing nothing but crying.

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Could someone recommend an association for amputees here in Washington, D.C.?

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Hey mistyjackal842, I totally get it. Look, don't bother crying—it won't change anything. Just try to pull yourself together because that's the only way you can actually be there for Mom. I really believe things will turn out okay; she's already fought through so much, so she can handle this too. Those blisters you mentioned, could they be Pressure ulcers? You should ask the nurse. I know it sucks right now, but try to stay positive. She needs you to be strong.

Thank you for the kind words. I asked my sister about it, and she said we don't necessarily have to let this turn into a full-blown wound; she actually applied a dressing to the area. This all just developed over a few days while she was in a different ward—one where they don't seem to pay as much attention to patients with limited mobility. Honestly, my biggest worry is how I'm going to manage once she's back home. I'm wondering if I can really handle everything on my own, even with a visiting nurse who might only stop by for a few minutes a day. I went through this whole ordeal once earlier this year, but back then, her disability wasn't nearly as severe as it is now. I'm also home alone with my dad, who is getting quite old himself. I try to talk things through with him, but it's... difficult. I think he just doesn't realize that things aren't going to be the same as before, back when she only had issues with her right lower leg.

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Hey mistyjackal842, I know this is gonna be rough on you. If you guys can swing it financially, maybe look into hiring someone to help out for a few hours a day. Sorry to pry, but what exactly is your Mom dealing with?

Mom has some serious issues with her arterial circulation. She’s dealing with foot ischemia—basically, enough blood isn't reaching her foot, which is causing ischemia to set in. It's slowly turning into gangrene; her leg looks blue and ischemic. The pain she's in is just awful. It started with her right leg, but now the left one is acting up too. I went to visit her today, and honestly, things don't look great. She spends most of her time sleeping, though I think she understands quite a bit of what's going on. She hasn't eaten much, either. She's on an IV right now. I'm really worried because the wound bled onto her pillow, but the nurse just said it was normal. She mentioned they had to change her dressings twice today. She's just in a regular hospital ward. She actually had surgery yesterday, but she wasn't even moved to the ICU, where she would have had much better conditions to recover.

Could someone—maybe a doctor here—tell me if this heavy bleeding from the wound is okay just one day after surgery? Is it possible she could bleed out from this? I'm just so incredibly worried.

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After my first below-knee amputation about seven months ago, I didn't notice any bleeding leaking through the bandage. But now, following this above-knee amputation, the dressing on the stump is bloody, and the wound actually bled right onto the pillow the limb was resting on. I'm honestly just terrified that it might start bleeding even more heavily tonight, and they won't even notice because the patient isn't in the ICU. I don't understand how there isn't any room in intensive care for such a critically ill patient, at least for those first couple of days after an amputation while things are stabilizing.

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If there had been any bleeding beyond what was expected, I’m certain the doctor—and especially the nursing staff—would have reacted immediately. What you're seeing is just some blood mixed with lymph and superficial oozing. It's going to be fine. Intensive care is reserved for people whose lives are actually on the line, and she isn't one of them. She's on the path to recovery. I strongly suggest you ask her doctor about whether Barocomor therapy might be an option in her specific case.

Thanks for getting back to me. She isn't actually a candidate for the ICU because of her neurological issues. We actually went there before her first amputation and asked a ton of questions. I’m just really worried about how she’ll be able to sit up, given those blisters on her skin—that initial Pressure ulcer. The nurses here take great care of immobile patients; she had been lying there before and didn't develop any sores. But honestly, the ward where they first admitted her when she arrived at the hospital... they just didn't pay attention to it at all. Within four days, those blisters had already formed, even though I was so careful with her at home—her skin was literally like a baby's. Another huge issue for her is her kidney function; her creatinine levels are incredibly high. One kidney isn't working at all, and the other one is damaged and has cysts, which is why the creatinine is so elevated.

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Hey mistyjackal842: I know things feel overwhelming right now—it’s like everything just hit you at once. For those wounds, try applying some Bepanthen ointment or maybe something even stronger. Honestly, back in the day, there was this Pfizer cream specifically for Pressure ulcers that was absolutely phenomenal—not sure if they still make it, but definitely try to track it down! My own Dad is currently in a coma due to kidney issues, with his creatinine sitting at 230, which is pretty standard for anyone dealing with renal failure. Everyone is out here peddling remedies to bring those numbers down—like this Zodeks tea everyone keeps advertising—but does it actually work? Who knows? Just ask your home health nurse about what to do for Mom; they really should be stepping up to help you. And please, trust the hospital staff. She isn't just left there alone; they're watching over her. It's totally normal to be spiraling, but hang in there—it’s going to be okay! What she needs most right now is your support. Hang in there, both of you. Sending love!