I've been scammed by everyone.

Hey. Starting this thread because I’m officially hitting my mid-20s and feeling pretty hopeless. 😢

To get straight to it: my social life is non-existent. 🙂
Everyone is all smiles when they need a laugh or when I'm picking up the tab at the bar. But if I ever push back? They vanish. It's the same story with everyone. I know people will say, "Why even hang out with them?"—but these are my childhood friends, my cousins, my extended family. As for actual girlfriends, I don't have any. Every single one has let me down. I grew up mostly around guys, plus two brothers. We fought and made up, sure, but at least there was no drama. No jealousy, no being ignored. I was just one of the guys. Now that we've all settled down and gotten married, things have changed. I got married, and that era is over... but we're still fine. Except for this one thing. If I change my hair, buy a new jacket, or switch up my style, they act like I've committed some kind of crime. 😠 Anyone else dealing with this kind of toxicity? How do you handle it? 😢 I honestly don't know what to do anymore. 🤷

I wouldn't say I'm totally alone—I have a couple of friends who would show up for me in a heartbeat if things went south. They’re great people, honestly, but the issue is they can be incredibly judgmental about the changes I make. Sometimes it feels like they're trying to micromanage my life, and frankly, it’s suffocating. I spent a long time trying to play by their rules just to keep the peace, but I’ve realized I have to prioritize myself. If they can't accept me for who I am, there isn't much more I can do.
At the end of the day, your own self-satisfaction is what matters most. If you aren't happy with yourself, even a huge circle of friends won't fix that. Just be yourself. When I started making my own moves, there was definitely some blowback and a few heated arguments, but eventually, people realize that your life belongs to you and everything settles down.
So what if they hate your new haircut or that jacket you bought? As long as you love it, that's all that counts. If they happen to like it too, great. If not, who cares? You didn't do it for them; you did it for you.

And please, stop stressing over feeling obligated to hang out with people just because they're family or childhood best friends. If you don't vibe with them, why force a connection that leaves everyone feeling miserable? People will judge you and ask how you could be so "cold," but you choose your inner circle based on personality and shared values, not just because you share a last name or grew up on the same block. I'm not saying you have to pick a fight or cut them off completely—you'll still see them at Thanksgiving or weddings—but you don't have to be inseparable.

Spend more time focusing on yourself and less time worrying about what everyone else thinks. No matter how "perfect" you try to be, you’ll never satisfy everyone, so why even bother? Once you actually get comfortable in your own skin, you'll learn to enjoy your own company. Read a book, watch a movie, hit the gym, or dive into a hobby. You won't feel lonely or bored, and you won't need to rely on five Starbucks runs a day just to feel okay.