BPD Psychology PDF Resources

Look, specifically regarding this thread, looking at the last 3 or 4 pages here:

I honestly think the bans are totally biased and unfair. Regular posts are being labeled as trolling, and the moderator (ambermason16) is being incredibly selective.
I’m asking—pretty please, if it’s even possible—Lisa Hernandez3 should take over moderating this thread again. She was actually impartial and understood "both sides" (people with BPD and those without). Even when she banned me personally, I didn't mind because I knew she wasn't just picking on me out of spite.

On top of that, several trolling and straight-up offensive posts (from a user named Julian Assange) were reported. He’s claiming that violence against women doesn't even exist and that women are "to blame themselves," which is a view that flies in the face of every human rights convention out there. It’s an insult to common sense, and it’s basically just another slap in the face to women who deal with domestic abuse Unknown.

As absurd as it sounds coming from me—since I fall into the "BPD" group myself—I really feel like ambermason16 is being way too biased toward "us" (the BPD crowd), so I’m once again asking for someone else to step in and moderate this topic.

Sadly, we all know how this goes after a massive blowout like this with the bans. After people finally open up and share their experiences, there’s going to be this months-long silence on the thread. People will either shut up because they're terrified of more sanctions (just look at the last post where someone else got banned too) or because they're being forced to "get back on topic." But listen, BPD isn't just some "topic"—it affects absolutely every part of life for both people with BPD and everyone else.
It’s such a shame for the thread.

And seriously, since when did staying ON TOPIC suddenly become considered trolling...?

(http://www.pohrani.com/f/u/bj/1KbCgh...11-02-13-a.png)

Look... is it really that hard to grasp that attacking people personally on this forum isn't okay?

I specifically asked ambermason16 to join this thread, and I even made it clear that I don't mind getting roasted if I say something stupid.

I don't know what Julian Assange said, but Harry York managed to say it in an even more sneaky, underhanded way. At least Assange doesn't hide behind passive-aggression; he just says what's on his mind.

Go ask the girls who just lurk (the ones who stopped posting on the Unknown thread altogether) why they left. It’s a total circus. Some of the people I actually talk to outside of this site tell me they’re just done with the constant bickering and the discrimination leveled against us.

There are basically four types of people in the BPD thread: 1. People with BPD (aggressive or otherwise), 2. Supportive, tolerant, or at least open-minded people without BPD who realize we aren't all clones, 3. Aggressive, verbally abusive people without BPD, and 4. The "saviors" who jump in with lines like, ''Can someone who actually knows anything about this disorder tell us more (for example, Harry York)?'' So, not only do we apparently have no clue how we feel, but people without the disorder think they know better than we do. I'm done listening to that.

Maybe the problem is me. Maybe I need thicker skin, or maybe I should just quit this thread entirely. But look... despite having BPD, I'm a pretty objective person. I'm not ten years old anymore; words don't rattle me that easily. Sure, things can sting, but I'm not going to go hysterical and throw my keyboard across the room because of them. Honestly, some of the stuff Harry York writes looks ten times worse than Assange's irritated posts. Nothing personal against Harry, but if I remember correctly, he's the guy who lied about his own profession just to look like a bigger expert. In my honest opinion, he's a manipulator and a liar, and he has no business acting like an authority just because he went through one bad relationship. Every single one of his posts reeks of mockery, generalizations, and a condescending, "know-it-all" tone. ☕

That's all I've got. 🙂

Regarding Julian Assange being deplatformed—look, I’m not saying I approve, but I get why he didn't get banned. Let’s draw a parallel to those endless, recurring debates about homosexuality. On topics like that, there will always be someone out there who thinks being gay is a disease and needs "fixing." They have a right to their opinion, provided they don't cross the line into saying, "We should just kill you all." Just because I find generalizations on this BPD topic disgusting, or hate the logic that assumes being gay is an illness, doesn't make their view any less of an opinion. The issue is that the line between an opinion and a straight-up insult is often just a matter of nuance.

It's not that I hate everyone here; I can actually have a normal conversation with plenty of people. But I'm not going to toss insults around like a ping-pong ball just because I dared to say I'm not an abuser of men or children despite my diagnosis. And I'm certainly not backing down from standing up against hate (because let's be real, some of these posts are nothing but hate) and the reckless throwing around of clinical terms by people who clearly don't understand the disorder. You think it's easy for me to watch people put amateur blog posts on a pedestal instead of actual medical textbooks? It won't stop until someone calls them out. 🤷 I've been taking the worst insults for three days now, and what they're saying about Anaconda is truly vile. Doesn't that say enough about how much patience I have for following anyone else's lead?

It’s sad I even have to say this (as someone who has nothing against men and often feels more comfortable in male company than female), but: if there were more men with BPD, or if this thread were mostly made up of men with BPD, none of this would be happening. I'm certain of it. Their rage comes from living in a relatively traditional society where the legal system still heavily favors mothers in custody battles. Their rage comes from the fact that they feel the need to slap diagnoses on their exes just to feel better about themselves. (By the way, my assumption about someone's mental state isn't a diagnosis; a diagnosis is what you get from a psychiatrist.) Does that mean they have to resort to insults?

I can't wait for Harry York to stumble upon this thread so he can grace me again with some baseless assumption about my life or my (supposedly) addictive character, or some top-tier ad hominem attack. They know they aren't experts, so when they run out of actual arguments, they just resort to insults. ☕

Not one single person has answered whether their wives have been diagnosed with BPD. Not one. And all they had to say was "yes" or "no." But they want to have it both ways: they want to post on the BPD thread and act like experts, yet their exes haven't even been diagnosed with BPD. Sorry, but to me, that's just absurd. 😢

Personally, nothing irritates me more than those "tourist" posts where people watch how confidently Harry, Max, and Julian Assange toss around certain terms and suddenly decide they’re experts. Experts at what? Being experts on relationships with people living with BPD? You really think someone who hasn't lived through it knows my reality better than I do?

Listen up, people: don't be dense. Take a second and actually Google things. There’s even a perfectly decent Wikipedia entry on BPD. Stop trying to diagnose yourself without seeing a professional first; all you're doing is discrediting Americans dealing with BPD who are actually in treatment and struggling through it. ☕

I brought up CBT Therapy specifically to steer this conversation away from the insults and attacks, but nobody bothered to address it. Everyone was too busy bickering. Since you all claim to be such massive experts, why isn't anyone telling me about how effective CBT is for people with BPD?

Alright, enough is enough. Harry, when you see this, quit playing games and keep calling out the nonsense. Acting like this isn't going to earn you a PhD in psychiatry.

vividorca9 said:Personally, I can't stand those "tourist" posts where people jump into a discussion about how confidently Harry, Max, and Julian Assange use certain terms, acting like that somehow makes them experts. Experts in what, exactly? Are they suddenly authorities on navigating relationships with someone living with BPD? Because if you think someone who hasn't actually lived through it knows more than I do about my own life, you’re dead wrong.

I think this might be my cue to jump in and introduce myself. 🙂

So, that makes four times now that I've jumped into this thread to weigh in.

First post—this was right after Nicole Turner35 suggested that people who actually "tolerate" borders clearly have some kind of pathology of their own.
I was just wondering, if... If anyone actually knows what they’re talking about, I’m all ears—I could really use someone to break this down for me.I'm just not interested. What do you guys think?Whether it was Grandma or even someone like a border patrol agent—just anyone who... I know.Still waiting on a response from anyone here. 😁)
Why on earth would you, as someone living with BPD, feel like you need to be an expert on potential pathologies in others just because you have a diagnosis? Since when did getting a diagnosis suddenly turn you into a licensed psychotherapist? 🤷

Back again, it's me—your resident freefaller. I'm asking you, border patrol.So, you’re trying to explain why you think someone's real struggles with BPD only truly start once they finally move out of their parents' house?
I’m not judging, I promise—I’m just asking because I’m genuinely curious. I’m just trying to wrap my head around it, clearly.

I honestly think grandparents tend to stick around the borders because they genuinely love them. They hold onto that hope, praying for some kind of change.

I wanted to weigh in on why people aren't really jumping into this thread—based on my own experience, anyway. Even though I’ve only contributed a tiny bit here, I’m already being singled out like I’m somehow the worst person in the room just because of how I frame my questions. Sometimes, you just run into questions that feel downright malicious—the kind that aren't just rude, but actually feel designed to sting. It’s like someone isn't even trying to have a conversation anymore; they're just swinging wildly, hoping to land a cheap shot. It feels less like curiosity and more like a calculated attempt to be obnoxious.. 🙄

Lisa Jones said:I guess this is my cue to step in and say something. 🙂

Look, I’ve posted exactly four times on this thread in total:

First time posting this—after Nicole Turner35 claimed that anyone who actually puts up with borders clearly has some kind of underlying pathology of their own.
I was wondering, if... If anyone actually knows what's going on, please explain it.I don't care. What’s the verdict? Give me your thoughts.Whether it was my grandma or some border patrol agent, I just needed someone who... I know.Nobody bothered to get back to me. 😁)
Why on earth would you think that just because you have a BPD diagnosis, you suddenly need to be an expert on whatever pathology someone else might be dealing with? Since when did having BPD turn you into a licensed psychotherapist? 🤷

Back again. It's me, the resident parachute jumper. I'm asking you, border patrol.So, you're actually trying to argue that someone's BPD issues only really start kicking in once they move out of their parents' house? That’s a bold claim.
I'm not judging, I'm just asking—mostly because I'm genuinely curious. Just trying to wrap my head around it.

I honestly think grandparents stay with people on the BPD spectrum because they genuinely love them and hold onto this slim hope that things will eventually change.

I’ll explain why people aren't chiming in on this thread—it’s because they’re looking at themselves. I just stepped in with a minimal comment, and yet somehow I’m being singled out like I’m the absolute worst for even asking a question. The absolute worst kind of questions—those that are just plain rude, malicious, or designed to twist the knife.. 🙄

You’re totally missing the point. This isn't about you; it's about some incredibly stupid post from Titanium that a moderator nuked. 🙂 Look, I already laid out my reasoning for you. I can't say for certain because everyone is different, but that’s why I'm sharing this. My take? BPD issues tend to spiral when people finally move out of their parents' house. Once they're on their own, all those fears about being alone, struggles with addiction, and that impulsive streak start hitting hard. When you're living under your parents' roof—assuming they were actually decent parents—they're usually able to keep a lid on things and at least keep an eye on what's going on with their kid. But once that safety net is gone? Suddenly there's the fear of growing up, and everything just feels much more volatile.

If you're looking for a professional opinion, go book an appointment with a psychiatrist. What else am I supposed to tell you? 🤷 You aren't getting answers from Harry or Julian Assange, and don't think for a second that my diagnosis makes me some kind of expert in this field. I just happen to know more about it than most people. At least I’m not pretending to be a specialist, and because of that, I'm not out here throwing around mindless generalizations.

Don't go throwing around the term "splitting" like you know me. Just because I don't check that specific box on a diagnostic checklist doesn't mean I don't have BPD. It works that way. 🙂

vividorca9 said:It’s really not about you. Honestly, I think it was just one of those silly posts from Titanium that a moderator decided to scrub from the board. 🙂 I already broke down my reasoning for you—and look, I’m not claiming to have all the answers since everyone is wired differently—but I really believe that BPD struggles tend to ramp up the moment someone leaves the nest. It's that sudden shift from having a safety net to being totally on your own. When you're living at home, if you had decent parents, they likely acted as a sort of stabilizer, keeping things like impulsivity, addiction issues, or that deep-seated fear of being alone somewhat managed. They knew what was going on with you. But once you step out into the world? You're suddenly facing the terrifying reality of growing up and being solo, without that buffer to keep the chaos at bay.

What you wrote was honestly such a huge help while I've been trying to wrap my head around how some people with BPD (or most of them, anyway) actually tick. You explained it so clearly. It felt a little silly to just drop a quick "thanks" and leave it at that, so I wanted to take a second to properly thank you for breaking it all down for me. 🙂

vividorca9 said:Don't go labeling me with splitting just because of that. I don't necessarily have to check every single diagnostic box to deal with BPD. 🙂

I'm not out here pointing fingers at anyone. Honestly, I’m just standing my ground when it feels like I'm being singled out.

If that comment about paratroopers wasn't actually aimed at me, then my whole reaction was just completely unnecessary. 🙂
Misunderstanding (just cleared up). 😉

Lisa Jones said:What you wrote actually helped a lot while I was trying to wrap my head around how people with BPD (or most of them, anyway) actually tick. You explained it perfectly. It felt kind of stupid to just reply with a quick "thanks," so I figured I’d send this over to say I really appreciate the breakdown. 🙂

I'm glad I could help out. 🙂

I'm not pointing fingers at anyone; I'm just "defending" myself when I feel like I'm being called out.

If that comment about skydivers wasn't aimed at me, then my reaction was totally unnecessary. 🙂
Just a misunderstanding (now cleared up). 😉

There's no need to get defensive because I wasn't thinking of you at all. 🙂 Besides, even if I was, I don't see why you'd feel threatened by little old me. I'm hardly some expert in psychopathology. 😵 We're good. Not everyone with BPD is constantly driven by nothing but raw emotion; we can be rational and level-headed when the situation calls for it. 😛 😬

Nicole Turner35 said:...
Unfortunately, I think we can all see how this plays out after a blowout like this one regarding the warnings—after there's been some movement and people have shared their perspectives, there’s usually this long, months-long silence on the topic. It happens either because people are afraid of getting sanctioned again (just look at the latest post that also got flagged) or because they feel forced to "get back to the topic." But I guess BPD isn't just a "topic"—it's deeply woven into every single part of life for both the person with BPD and their loved ones.
It’s just a shame for the discussion.

Don't you feel like it's actually easier to breathe in this thread now that the tension has been cut by those warnings? They were applied specifically where things really crossed the line, in my opinion. I suspect that some things have been communicated in the meantime, and maybe both sides now have a better grasp of why the other side reacts the way they do or what specifically triggers them. I'm not saying the warnings helped anyone reach an understanding; they are more like a temporary tool to calm things down—so that the meaningful stuff you all create here actually has a chance to be seen. Even that last warning I issued was just a reminder; it was only a yellow card, and I don't think it was nearly as "dangerous" as the post that actually got flagged. I don't think ambermason16 was trying to take sides; she was mostly just flagging things that felt over the top when looking at one-on-one interactions (like a person with BPD vs. a family member) within the thread—and honestly, I might have done the same thing if I were in her shoes.

Regarding Julian Assange's points, I mentioned earlier that I find them debatable, though I still don't think they warrant a strike (they are just reckless, rushed, and highly emotional, I suppose). It seems to be based on his own impressions and qualifications, which makes his position easy to challenge. His stance identifies a problem, but it lacks a certain cultural dimension, which—perhaps unintentionally—leaves it open to becoming a personal issue within the thread. From an interpretive standpoint, I don't think it holds much weight. Maybe we could address it by cautioning against using unverified data (or going off-topic). I'm not entirely sure if it was intentional trolling.

Generally speaking, regarding situations similar to this, I'm not in favor of protecting certain "truths" simply because some users hold more weight than others just because they have a specific diagnosis and demand that certain interpretations remain untouchable. Then again, I suppose it depends on the information being used. I think the style of users who speak openly about their diagnoses really helps highlight the importance of these issues and helps strip away some of the stigma, but their role is to coexist with other styles—just as it's the job of users with different styles to be communicative and personally respectful toward you, especially since you are all so candid. As for personal attacks, I believe they should be sanctioned appropriately on those final pages. Based on what has been written here, it's pretty clear where the friction points are, so we can pay extra attention to those areas. Please let me know if there is anything else to discuss. For instance, what kind of moderation style do you think would best suit the unique needs of this topic?

I’ll jump in here too. Even though vividorca9 and Lisa Hernandez3 have already laid everything out—honestly, they did a better job than I ever could. So, here it is:

1. People only get banned when their posts actually cross a line.

2.

Nicole Turner35 said:Wait, since when did staying on-topic become considered trolling...?

(http://www.pohrani.com/f/u/bj/1KbCgh...11-02-13-a.png)

Are you seriously talking about.. this post? (I took the liberty of posting it without any of your little edits)

Nicole Turner35 said:Okay, so now Harry has been banned. And who does that actually help? 🤷
Look, I am an involved party here; I deal with BPD.

So, let's just draw some parallels... since everyone wants to act like a saint on this thread...
Yeah, sure, I feel for what Julian Assange went through (he's only just started writing his account, just a tiny bit), but that is absolutely no excuse to turn a blind eye to what he's doing here.

That bolded text is a massive insult to anyone's intelligence.
I pulled this one sentence from a recent post, but the same tired argument has been dragged through here for ages. From what I can see on Reddit, it’s been going on for years.
Anyone who has even glanced at this topic on this forum can see that NOT all these women have BPD. To say otherwise isn't just a generalization; it’s a slap in the face to every woman out there married to some jerk who beats her. Or beats her kids.

Basically, you walk up to a woman lying in the ER with broken ribs, a smashed nose, and a black eye, and tell her: "It's your fault because you probably have BPD.".

That kind of garbage claim that "violence against women doesn't exist" has been left standing here without any consequences. And it's not the first time someone has typed it. It honestly makes me sick. I'm far from being a feminist—you could probably call me a total chauvinist—but it is unbelievable that this stuff is allowed to pass here.

I mean, just go ahead and pet a woman when you feel like it; she's obviously a BPD sufferer the moment you even feel the urge to hit her, right? Apparently, her mere existence is enough to justify attacking her.

Good grief. 🤦 🤦 🤦>


EDIT: Under all of Harry's bans, the reason given is always "trolling."
But is it not trolling to type out how BPD women are exclusively to blame for domestic violence, and how "violence against women doesn't exist"??
Give me a break...
Lisa Hernandez3 has, at least, moderated this thread fairly.

btw. just a heads up: every single post after this warning is getting a strike.

3. Other people's strikes and bans aren't your concern.

Nicole Turner35 said:(....)And now I’m just going to go for it. 😁 (Hopefully I don't get a warning for trolling since I just posted this—is it off-topic?)

Bottom line: if I drop this, you're looking at a penalty of over 100 points and a three-day timeout. Should I actually pull the trigger, or have we already wasted enough energy stirring up drama on this thread?

ambermason16 said:By the way. Listen up, because I’m only saying this once: from here on out, any post that comes after this warning is getting an immediate ban. Consider yourselves warned. Just feeling low. Honestly, everything just feels heavy right now.

Wait, so what about all the posts that came after your warning?
Alright, fine. I'm out. I'm done with this thread for good, so go ahead—keep banning whoever you want until everyone’s passed out.
Go ahead. Knock yourself out.
Fine, just go ahead and permaban this account then. Since apparently every single thing I say is being treated like it’s written on a cardboard box anyway. Unbelievable. Seriously. 😍

ambermason16 said:Bottom line: if I drop this card, they’re gonna toss me over the 100-point mark and send me straight to a three-day timeout. So, do I actually post it, or have I already spent way too much energy stirring the pot and trying to start a fight on this thread for nothing?

Who exactly was I even fighting with when I said I was going to grab some food? I was just trying to flip the script, turn things into a joke, and keep the vibes positive—did you guys even notice the smiley face?! Seriously, I’m talking about making fun of my OWN damn self here!
I guess I’m just sitting here trying to pick a fight with myself, though honestly, maybe I should be picking a fight with that cardboard box you’re using to threaten me instead?
What, am I supposed to go out and start self-harming just because you hurt my feelings? (That’s my immature BPD ego talking, obviously.) Just because you can't manage to moderate this thread objectively? Seriously?

Good grief, woman! Look, I’m sorry if this feels like an ad hominem attack, but honestly, at this point, I have to call you out directly. If you’re actually going to act as a moderator, the least you could do is go look up what trolling even means by definition. I’ve spent years running things—acting as both an admin and a mod on several different forums here in the States and over in the US—so believe me when I say you need to learn the basics. You need to understand forum etiquette, how people communicate online, and exactly which behaviors warrant a sanction. Most importantly? You need to turn your objectivity ON instead of leaving it OFF. Stop letting your personal preferences run the show and stop inflating your ego with some irrational, power-tripping feeling of authority. It's just not how it works.
Three cases in under two minutes... man, that was intense.



Oops, yeah, I posted something earlier today on the BPD thread that—if ambermason16 sees it—is probably going to get labeled as trolling, mostly because by the standards around here, it’ll just be dumped straight into off-topic. 🙄

And what about that yellow card—you know, that zero-point penalty—they slapped on my post just because I was answering the question? Seriously?

Just dropping in here. said:Does anyone actually know what living with BPD feels like? Like, does anyone out there get it?

Nicole Turner35 said:Look, this thread is already 432 pages long. Seriously, just do me a favor and read at least the last five or six pages before you come flying in here with a question like that.

Look, that whole thing about him getting a yellow card? Pure trolling. Honestly, who cares about the penalty points at this point? That’s just noise. The only thing that actually matters here is the principle of the damn carding itself.

Let me help you actually define—and more importantly, wrap your head around—what trolling really looks like by using a perfect, live example:
Just so you know— Honestly, that whole thing was just pure trolling. It’s like some random parachute jumper just dropped out of nowhere onto the thread with a question like that. Total nonsense.
This thread is already 432 pages deep... plus, let’s be real, Google is basically everyone's best friend anyway. Just type "BPD" into the search bar and hit "About" if you want to actually find something useful. 6,220,000 results ).
Look, if anyone actually gives a damn about what it’s like to live with BPD, they should just go out and experience it firsthand. Seriously. Stop asking questions and go see for yourself.
If you're too lazy to actually read the post and just want to fly in here with a question like that... to It’s just trolling. Pure and simple.

Example 2: So, I’m scrolling through this massive PDF about the Economy, right? And I hit page 53—way at the very end—where they start talking about PayPal. So, I figure, why not just dive straight into the deep end and ask...
Can someone please tell me how the hell I actually use PayPal to pay for stuff?
If I did that, it’d be straight-up trolling, and I’d probably catch at least a yellow card for it.

Look, from what I've seen, it’s pretty obvious the mods all just huddle up in their private sub-forum to hash things out, and then once they're out in public? It's nothing but a united front. They basically have this unspoken rule where they just back each other up no matter what. It's like watching a coordinated press release instead of actual discussion. Regarding that post by Lisa Hernandez3—and honestly, looking back at when she was handling the BPD topic—I still think she’s way more objective than ambermason16. Amber gets way too personally invested in everything. She takes it all way too much to heart, which totally kills any chance of her being neutral anymore. I don't even care what people say about why; maybe it's because some users are out there playing mind games through private messages, but either way, the objectivity just isn't there with her.
I mean, isn't it kind of weird? Like, here I am, someone living with BPD, and somehow I’m actually out here defending these guys? I’m actually being objective. Seriously, take a second and really think about that.

vividorca9, sorry—but it’s just so obvious that you... You're not being objective.Look, here’s an example: you actually wrote that Harry York "mentioned your old handle fifteen times in the thread" (not that I'm gonna go out of my way to repeat which one it was).

vividorca9 said:I honestly have no clue what the point of any of that was. Like, seriously, what was even the goal? I don't get it. Look, I’m just gonna say it—I’ve gone ahead and highlighted my original handle fifteen times. There. Done. Happy now? It's like when you're trying to get someone's attention at a crowded bar in Chicago and you have to practically scream because they're too busy nursing their drink to notice you're standing right there. Just wanted to make sure there's zero confusion about who's talking here. Point made. (which, by the way, I'm keeping under wraps for a good reason).

He mentioned him exactly ONCE. Just one single post, that's it. And here he is: I can't even begin to wrap my head around how people still fall for this stuff. Seriously. It’s like watching a slow-motion train wreck where everyone is cheering for the collision. You see these "experts" on TV or whatever, acting like they have all the answers, and half the population just nods along like mindless sheep. It’s exhausting. And don't even get me started on the legal side of things. I was reading about some recent court case—honestly, it reminded me of that one time I tried to fight a parking ticket in Chicago and ended up arguing with a guy who looked like he hadn't slept since the nineties. Point is, the system is rigged. It’s built to protect the big players, not us regular people. If you think you’re getting a fair shake because you followed the rules, you’re delusional. Anyway, I saw what Nicole Turner35 said earlier, and honestly? Spot on. People try to sugarcoat everything, but sometimes the truth is just ugly and blunt. There’s no point in dancing around it. If something is broken, it’s broken. Stop pretending it’s "evolving" or "adjusting." It's broken. Period.

-------------------------------------
I’m trying to figure out how to justify just sitting on my hands and doing absolutely nothing about this:

Regarding those posts from Julian Assange about that whole situation... Are women actually to blame when they get hit by their partners? Seriously, let's talk about this because it's such a garbage argument. People love to point fingers and act like if a woman just acted "differently" or didn't "provoke" someone, the violence wouldn't happen. It’s absolute nonsense. There is zero excuse for anyone to lay a hand on another person. Period. No matter what was said, no matter how loud the argument got, nothing justifies physical abuse. To suggest otherwise is just a way for people to dodge accountability and protect abusers. It's toxic, it's backward, and honestly, it makes me want to scream. "Oh, please. Like they’re obviously just some girls with BPD," which is totally backwards if you actually look at this [link]. Look, let's get one thing straight right out of the gate: we need some ground rules here if this place isn't going to turn into a total dumpster fire. I’m not trying to be the fun police or anything, but seriously, we need a baseline so we don't all lose our minds. First off, keep it civil. I know, I know—everyone has an opinion and everyone wants to scream them from the rooftops, but let's try not to go full scorched-earth on each other. We're all just humans living our lives, dealing with our own stuff, right? So, let's try to act like it. And for heaven's sake, stay on topic! I swear, I'll be reading a thread about something specific and suddenly someone starts veering off into a tangent about their neighbor's lawn care or some random political drama. It's exhausting. If we're talking about BPD, talk about BPD. Don't make me hunt through fifty pages of nonsense just to find one useful point. Also, please, please, *please* respect people's privacy. This isn't a gossip column. We aren't here to tear each other down or dig up dirt. We're here to talk, vent, and maybe actually learn something. Bottom line: Be decent, stay focused, and stop being jerks. It shouldn't be this hard, but here we are. Let's just try to keep this community somewhat functional, okay? I mean, honestly, there should have been actual consequences for this. Seriously. Just look at this snippet of the rulebook that actually applies here—I've bolded it for you:

• Look, you’re breaking the law here in the States—specifically when it comes to inciting hate or spreading discrimination. You know the rules. Look, let’s be real here—there is a massive difference between just talking about a crime and actually making excuses for it or, even worse, acting like it's some kind of heroic feat. It's one thing to analyze what went wrong, but glorifying criminal behavior? That’s a whole different level of messed up. Honestly, I can't stand it when people try to spin something illegal into some kind of moral victory. It's dishonest, it's dangerous, and frankly, it's just exhausting to listen to. Copyright infringement, pedophilia, animal cruelty... you know, all that dark stuff.

Oh, great... so this is the part where you expect me to sit here and slog through your latest long-winded ranting and raving session?

Everything has already been laid out for you. To be more precise: everything regarding your own behavior and your posts has been explained—with one minor exception. That "cardboarding principle" we talk about is largely dictated by the software settings. Basically, when I hand you a card for trolling, it usually means I could have gone even harder if I wanted to. It’s like choosing whether to hit someone with a sledgehammer or a mallet; most of the time, instead of giving you a heavy 100-point penalty for relentlessly hunting for arguments, I might just give you a 35. Or maybe you were just trolling. 😁.

As for everyone else and their posts... that’s none of my business. :

ambermason16 said:Oh, great... so now we’re at the part where you expect me to sit here and actually read through your entire latest, long-winded, raving meltdown? Seriously?

Look, I’ve already laid it all out for you. Seriously. Everything about your behavior and those endless posts of yours has been explained. There’s really only one little gray area left: that whole "boxing up" thing. Honestly, a lot of how people get flagged is just down to the software settings. So, when I hand you a ban card for trolling, it usually means I could have gone way harder if I felt like it. I could've slapped you with a massive penalty or something a bit lighter—it's all up to me. Most of the time, instead of choosing a heavy-duty strike for someone constantly hunting for an argument, I might just let you slide with a minor warning. Or maybe you were just straight-up trolling. Take it or leave it. 😁).

Look, when it comes to everyone else and what they’re posting... that’s a completely different story. It doesn't apply here. Period.

I don't honestly expect you to sit through my whole argued-out rant anyway. It’s not like it’s your "job" to deal with this, and honestly, this probably isn't even the right subforum for it. 🤷 😉

Look, you don't need to walk me through all that software stuff. Seriously. I was beta-testing for vBulletin back in the day, long before most people even knew what a forum was. I've been around this block.

Look, I’m staying out of the last part. Just for personal reasons—plus, honestly, it goes against the forum rules anyway.
Look, there’s a massive trigger for depression going on here—and honestly, it’s not just me, there are plenty of others feeling it, they just don't say it out loud. Let me give you an example. I know someone nearby dealing with a whole "domestic violence" situation where everyone claims the woman isn't at fault, which totally flies in the face of what Julian Assange would argue. So then, she's sitting there, completely wrecked over this BPD stuff because she’s convinced her husband is the one with the disorder, only to read that she’s actually the one responsible for the violence. It's brutal.
Honestly? She’s got nobody to blame but herself for ending up in the ER with broken ribs. Just her own fault, really.
Should I just step in and end this myself, or just sit back and let her ruin her own life?

Is this even about you, or is this actually regarding Julian Assange? I suppose it’s fine for a debate—or maybe it’s just plain wrong—but it shouldn't be grounds for a ban. It isn't that you're justifying violence against your friend or anyone else, per se; it’s more that your own situation might be causing a bit of a skewed interpretation of why violence happens. There seems to be an entire dimension missing here—specifically the part concerning those socially accepted reasons for domestic violence. If this is enough to get someone banned, then I guess plenty of other posts lacking sociological awareness should be banned too, though I honestly have no idea who would act as the ultimate arbiter.

In the meantime, I have replied to the thread regarding BPD—once again—specifically touching upon that controversial connection between the disorder and violence against women. I feel like this might finally allow me to draw a line under that whole episode.

Thanks.

Nicole Turner35 said:vividorca9, sorry—but it’s pretty obvious to you. You're not being objective.For instance: you wrote that Harry York "mentioned your old handle fifteen times in that thread" (I won't repeat which one).

He mentioned him exactly ONCE, in one single post. Here it is: I’ve been looking into this, and honestly, it feels like we’re just circling the drain. People keep talking about these massive shifts in how information is handled, but they aren't seeing the bigger picture. We’re watching a slow-motion collision between total transparency and absolute control, and most people are too distracted by the noise to notice. Take the whole Assange situation. It wasn't just about some leaked documents; it was about the fundamental right to know what's happening behind closed doors in Washington. But instead of a real conversation about privacy or government overreach, the media just turned him into a villain or a martyr, depending on which network you’re watching. It’s all theater. Then you have guys like Max Magnus pushing certain narratives, and you start to wonder who’s actually pulling the strings. Is it genuine conviction, or is it just part of the machine? I don't have all the answers—I'm definitely not some expert sitting in an ivory tower—but I can tell when something smells fishy. It feels like everything is being sanitized. Whether it's corporate interests or political maneuvering, there's this constant effort to smooth over the rough edges so the public stays comfortable. But comfort is exactly what keeps us from demanding actual change. We need to stop settling for the polished version of reality and start digging into the messy parts. It’s uncomfortable, sure. But staying asleep isn't an option anymore.

Look, maybe I’m being biased here. My bad if I went a little overboard bringing up that old username from before.

I really wish we could stop using people's usernames from this or other forums just to score points in an argument. It’s getting old. We have a massive amount of actual substance to dive into—everything from BPD mechanics and non-verbal cues to treatment options—but all that gets sidelined because 90% of us can't stay objective. We spend more time attacking individuals than actually talking about the issues.

One isolated incident—whether it’s involving Assange, Harry York, or Max Magnus—doesn't make a rule. Besides, even rules have their exceptions. I strongly disagree with the accusation that we are... Everything. They’re out here labeling men as abusers (which isn't me), or calling them junkies, alcoholics, former delinquents (not me either), or even potential deadbeat moms. Most of their arguments are just pure "what if" nonsense. I really wish they could wrap their heads around that. Honestly, I'm glad we all got slapped with bans and carded out. I’m going to keep speaking my truth on this until I’m silenced, and I’m genuinely curious to see if Harry is going to get shut down too. 🙂

I really bit myself in the ass with some lazy thinking when I finally realized what was actually going on with the Assange case. But honestly? I’m still sitting here waiting for someone to confirm if his wife has BPD or not. I just wish they’d take a second to consider everything we have to deal with—all the stuff we go through internally, all those private battles we fight alone—maybe then they’d actually have an epiphany. ☕

I honestly love hanging out with people dealing with anxiety or depression. There’s this built-in support system where everyone just gets it, you know? We actually show up for each other. I really wish our community had that kind of energy—it wouldn't even matter if we were talking about neurodivergence or BPD, I just want that level of mutual support here.

Look, Splitter, let’s be real—you aren't exactly being objective here. Just admit it. The only difference is that Assange hit a nerve with you, whereas Max Magnus and Harry York are the ones getting under my skin. 🙂

Honestly, I’ve got nothing left to say on this topic. I'll be the first to admit it: if this keeps going the way it is, I’m just going to keep losing my cool, getting flagged, or eventually getting banned altogether. I'm just not built that way. I don't have the temperament to just sit here and stay quiet when things like this happen. I'll own that.