#1 ·
To cut a long story short, I’ve dealt with plenty of issues that have since cleared up, but that’s beside the point. What matters is this: I was on PPI—pantoprazole—for about three months. Around that time, I started developing this tingling sensation in my hands. Over time, it evolved into muscle stiffness and a burning sensation in my forearms, even though I haven't touched the medication in months. My blood work comes back normal, though I haven't actually checked my vitamin levels—I'm not even sure if they bother testing for those specific things here in Indianapolis... I had my thyroid checked, and they say it's fine, even if the reference intervals look a little funky, but again, that's irrelevant... As for a gastroscopy, it showed some gastritis caused by pain relievers, but almost everything has healed up, so that's okay... I went to see a psychiatrist, who prescribed half a 100mg tablet of Fever in the evening and one Normabel 2mg as needed because I struggle with anxiety. They also suspect panic disorder because I find myself constantly Googling symptoms, sometimes for hours at a time... We still have to confirm all that... So far, I've been diagnosed with OCD, somatic affective disorder, and depression. Here is what’s actually eating at me: I feel better mentally; I don't Google symptoms nearly as much, I've rarely felt that paralyzing fear of death, but my arms just won't stop burning. It’s been going on for months now. Then my neck will seize up like it's on fire, or I'll get these sharp pains... or the last two fingers on my left hand will cramp up and ache deep inside... And most of the time, it all just triggers a massive wave of panic. Sometimes it feels like my nerves have simply stopped obeying me, like a nerve is hurting so badly that I can't even move. 🙂 It's constant pins and needles; I don't have the energy for anything. My whole body stiffens up and I think, "This is it, it's over." I don't lose my cool or fly off the handle—I'm 100% composed—but my body just refuses to cooperate. Then, suddenly, the tension breaks (and my nerves start hurting insanely, everywhere), but my hands won't stop burning. 😕 So, folks, what am I supposed to do? I just can't wrap my head around the idea that this is "just anxiety"—that I can have these physical "attacks" that feel totally different from my usual panic attacks, or that my hands can burn continuously for months. And when I squeeze my right arm, it feels like my bicep is crumbling?? Then my vision gets blurry, my head burns, I start shaking, and I get these electric shock sensations in my elbows... It’s driving me crazy, and I’ve even had thoughts of ending it all. I won't, obviously—I'm too much of a badass for that—but I honestly don't know who else to turn to, and I feel embarrassed 🤦 My mind jumps to things like herpes (I've had this kind of wart near my anus for a few months, I don't know...), chlamydia, or maybe a vitamin deficiency (I've been taking B12 from the drugstore for two weeks, and I've taken magnesium)... everything seems fine until my muscles start seizing and those electric shocks hit. Honestly, I could just die right then and there. Is it truly possible that my brain is playing this many tricks on me? Because this hurts; it physically hurts every single damn day. Everything is perfect when I'm sleeping and during those first ten minutes after I wake up before my brain fully kicks in. Then the show starts... Help, I'm begging you, please say something 🙂 Should I push that woman, my doctor, to refer me to a neurologist or something? I am begging you guys not to ignore this; surely someone out there can offer at least a little insight. Even if you just tell me to go jump in a lake.