#61 ·
Sean Brown86 said:Man... I’m seriously so grateful to everyone who even bothers reading this, let alone helping out with advice... but I feel like nobody is actually catching my drift... like, you just don't get it. So, the endoscopy showed some damage to my esophagus... grade one peptic changes... specifically involving the corpus, or whatever the exact medical term is... but then the internist at that same hospital tells me it’s basically nothing. He thinks the only thing I should be dealing with is heartburn, but I don't have any heartburn at all, not even once. As for stress, I am absolutely ruling that out because... this stuff doesn't just show up whenever I feel "stressed"... it happens from the second I wake up in the morning... and even when I'm on Normabel (doing the test)... it’s the same deal... all the time. My clear symptoms are these... basically, when I’m trying to "push" on the toilet, there's no effect even though I'm putting in the effort and there's material right there; burping and vomiting are blocked (meaning I try, but maybe once out of six attempts I manage to burp); pressure in my chest during inhalation; air escaping from my abdomen during core exercises or static holds; and during intense running—like, I measured it, 30 minutes at an 80% pace—I can manage to breathe, but when I succeed, it hurts around my solar plexus, for example... and when I press on my stomach just above the navel, I feel this burning sensation, and that happens absolutely anytime, whether it's morning, night, or if I'm starving. As for my heart, I have to wait until March 1st.
Another weird thing is that even before this whole mess started, about a year ago, I used to have mornings where I had to go to the bathroom and nothing would happen... usually after eating late at night... just like how things are now. Only now, the fallout has been dragging on for six months. Also, on my spirometry, my intake was 90 out of 115 percent, which the doctor brushed off as "anxiety," but I’ve done spirometry before and I know what I’m doing—this time I gave it everything I had. But when it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and there isn't a doctor in the world who can tell me it's all in my head or psychological, because it simply isn't. I don't have any worries, no stress, nothing; in fact, when this started, my life was perfect, so... yeah. And regarding training, I only work out so I don't pack on the pounds and just fall apart. I also remembered one more symptom that clearly points to a problem: when I used to run in the cold and breathe through my mouth, I could feel that chill and the airflow in my throat, but now that's gone... the whole time, even when I'm resting, the air just doesn't flow the way it should. I'm also wondering if it could be something with my gut—like, if that food sitting in me all night undigested is causing something that makes it hard for me to breathe properly. 🤷
I honestly think he needs to stop training for at least two months.
There's some truth to what doctors say about stress, but they aren't talking about "stress" in the sense of being frantic during a race or having a bad day... they mean more like that deep, existential weight you carry around... like always overplanning everything, always wanting more, constantly doubting your own moves, or constantly overanalyzing yourself. There is definitely that kind of "stress" present in this illness; I don't think that specific type of stress *causes* the disease, but if the disease is already there, it might push it forward and make things worse... similarly, I don't think you can cure yourself just by getting rid of that "stress," but you can definitely dial down the symptoms.