What are you reading on the toilet?

Look, I’m not exactly thrilled about spending my life on the toilet, but I simply cannot get the job done in sixty seconds flat. Naturally, my wife gives me these constant, judgmental looks, wondering why I’m occupying the bathroom for such an eternity. I have no clue. Maybe it’s just how my metabolism works?

Since I’m stuck sitting there anyway, I might as well make the most of the time by reading.
When it's an emergency, I grab whatever happens to be within reach, though lately, I've been sticking to actual books.
Right now, I’m working my way through the third installment of the mammoth hunter series from the "child of the earth" saga by Jean M. Auel.

Of course, there are those frantic moments where you don't even have time to grab a book, and you end up staring at the instruction manual for the Whirlpool washing machine instead... 😁

So, I’m curious—what else is people actually reading while they're stuck in the trenches?

I don't read. Before I light up a cigar 🤷

I usually find myself scrolling through and reading everything on the feed, just taking in whatever's left over after the day is done 🤷

Books? No way, I need a much more comfortable and laid-back setting for something like that 🙂

I’ll stick to magazines, newspapers, or even those little declarations printed on shampoo bottles or detergent boxes—you know how it is. Right now, I’m actually working my way through the latest issue of 😬Bug
.

Everything I can get my hands on. Books, magazines, even those little ingredient labels on all the stuff sitting in my bathroom cabinet. 😁

That’s the truth, haha... if you don't have a newspaper within arm's reach, I suppose toothpaste or shampoo serves just as well for getting the job done 👍

Anyway, I’ve been dealing with long sessions myself—we're talking 25 minutes at a stretch—where things just sort of... happen in multiple stages ☕

northernhawk29 said:I guess I’ve been dealing with this for a long time too. It takes me about 25 minutes every single time, and honestly, it's just a mess—it feels like I'm passing waste in multiple stages.☕

🤣🤣

I don't read anything. 🥳

northernhawk29 said:Too true lol... if you don't have a newspaper handy, toothpaste or shampoo works just fine too👍

Honestly, I've been struggling for ages too—sitting there for like 25 minutes at a time, just having to go in multiple rounds☕

Yeah, tell me about it... 😁
I can't just zip in and out like a hummingbird either...🤷

I just sit there with my scissors, snipping away at those split ends. I keep a little black cloth handy to catch everything before tossing it all in the trash. Honestly? It’s basically my version of meditation.

I’ll grab a bottle of Clorox and go through every single ingredient, reading all those fine-print instructions... Then I’ll pick up some Persil and do the exact same thing with its ingredients and directions... then I move on to Vicks... then the deodorant... then Ariel...
It’s like I have this massive stockpile of junk mail and flyers from places like Sheet Music Publishing or Bauhaus... 😁

placidjackal36 said:I grab some Clorox and start reading the ingredients and instructions... then I pick up some Persil and read those... then Vicks... then deodorant... then Ariel...
I've got a whole pile of ads from Sheet Music Publishing, Bauhaus... 😁

Same here.😁 If I'm stuck, I just grab a Story or something similar—instant garbage.

I’ve actually got this meter-long stack of comics sitting right there in my WC:
Dylan Dog
Alan Ford
National Geographic
Dylan Dog Alan Ford National Geographic American Mountaineer.

🥳

Old TV programs.
Or maybe just reading the labels on shampoo bottles, body lotion, or even pads.
Honestly, it just depends on whatever happens to be within arm's reach at the moment.

slywolf45 said:Honestly, I just end up scrolling through whatever’s on TV.
Or I'll find myself reading the fine print on my shampoo bottles, body lotion, or even the packaging on pads.
Basically, it just depends on whatever happens to be within arm's reach at the moment!

signature 🤣

Most of what they're playing is just endless loops of commercials for deodorant, perfume, shampoo... you name it.

If I’m not actually reading through them, I’ll end up fidgeting with the metal toilet paper holder, tearing the paper into tiny little bits or shredding it with some nail clippers. Or maybe I'll be messing around with a lighter (trying out some Zippo tricks 😁), scrolling on my phone, or occasionally sending someone a random text like, "Hey... just taking a dump and thought of you." 😁 .

I’ve actually been thinking about setting up some solid Wi-Fi in my apartment so I can just carry my laptop around, surf the web, and take care of business whenever the mood strikes. 🙏

just grinding through some sudoku😬

I honestly didn't think anyone else actually sat down to read declarations. I kind of figured I was the only one out there doing it. 😁

so many people read while he's busy elsewhere😲

lately, I mostly stick to AAA or the local newspapers. I also play mobile poker every now and then😁

Raymond Campbell35 said:I'm thinking about setting up some Wi-Fi in my apartment so I can lug my laptop around, surf the web, and jerk off on the side. 🙏

Are you kidding me? 😲
How did I not think of this sooner??? 😲😲 😲

Jerking off is just a waste of time anyway. You should be refreshing this forum instead. 🙏