Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

quietpilot87 said:My mother no longer has lung cancer, as I mentioned before.
However, metastases have now appeared in her brain. 😢

Things were going far too well, simply too well... and now this.
I am not happy, nor am I "cool" about it. I am fully aware of the reality. But I am not happy. In truth, I am quite profoundly sad. Dammit... 😢
Forgive me, but dammit...

I attempted to reply to this post yesterday, but unfortunately, my response failed to publish...🤷

How could anyone possibly be happy when they are in such shock? It is impossible not to feel quite devastated while struggling to process the disbelief. Still, I am certain you will find the strength to face this all over again, to take a deep breath, and to strive to be your mother's greatest support and her fiercest advocate, a fighter for her sake. Hang in there... xoxo

Linda Wright5 said:Melissa Kim45, hang in there, and please don't forget to take care of yourself too!
It’s a total circus here with my sister... she’s acting like a five-year-old on a sugar crash, and honestly, the level of suffering involved could easily be split among four people, though I’m sure she’d still find a way to complain that we aren't doing enough...
Fortunately, there are enough of us looking after her that we can sort of redistribute the burden, and through sheer force of will, we try to maintain our own sanity with whatever sense of humor we have left...

Believe me, we are barely keeping our heads above water with our own mother because of how much of a lunatic she can be. Sometimes her behavior is just so frustrating, and it is actually impossible to explain to anyone else what happens to a person when they are dealing with a serious illness. In all of this, I am desperately hoping that everything happening here is merely a side effect of the chemotherapy...

One really ought to fight against all these misfortunes—including sickness—with humor and laughter. When faced with grief and pain, a person tends to become small-minded and gives up far too quickly, so this is how you find your strength to keep going... stay strong...

Divota🙄

Angela Wright said:Just wonderful.🙄

Well, isn't this just something to be proud of?👎

Angela Wright said:Just wonderful🙄...

Unfortunately...😲...

I was watching this incredible documentary today about animals that essentially saved their owners' lives. There was one story about a dog that could sense something physically wrong with its owner. He kept nudging her left breast with his nose, which she initially brushed off, even trying to push him away. Eventually, he actually nipped her there. It wasn't until she checked for a mark from the bite that she suddenly remembered she had a mammogram scheduled. She went in the very next day, and they caught an early-stage breast cancer. The tumor was located exactly where the dog had bitten her.
In Canada, they actually have programs to train dogs to detect tumors and cellular changes, but this particular dog wasn't part of any official training—he just instinctively knew something was off.
If only we had something like that here...

Amanda Miller69 said:I was watching this incredible documentary today about animals that saved their owners' lives, and there was one story that really stuck with me. It was about this dog that could sense something was wrong with its owner. The dog kept nudging her left breast with its nose, and she actually kept pushing him away, thinking he was just being annoying. Eventually, the dog actually bit her right there on the breast. It wasn't until she went to check for a bruise from the bite that she suddenly remembered she had a mammogram scheduled. She went in the very next day, and they caught breast cancer in its earliest stages, which ended up saving her life. The tumor was located exactly where the dog had bitten her.
In Canada, they actually train dogs to sniff out tumors and detect cellular changes, but this particular dog wasn't part of any formal program—he just intuitively sensed it.
If only we had something like that over here...

We’d actually be getting somewhere if people possessed even a shred of basic awareness or responsibility regarding their own health. My theory is backed up by the pathetic turnout we see from women for free mammogram screenings and the dismal response to any early colon cancer detection campaign. In this country, the collective mindset is practically Neanderthal—people would much rather live in blissful ignorance, pretending nothing is wrong and hoping that if they just ignore a problem, it'll simply vanish into thin air. We have plenty of diagnostic tools available, thank God, but most people would much rather blow their credit limits on luxury cars than invest in staying alive.
Well, no surprise there—we’re sitting at number four in the world for cancer mortality rates.😳

Hey fighters. I was browsing the web earlier and stumbled upon http://www.natural-cancer-treatment.info/indexyu.html.
I want to hear your thoughts on this. Are we actually standing on the verge of a massive breakthrough?

David Jackson79 said:Hey fighters. I was browsing the web earlier and stumbled upon http://www.natural-cancer-treatment.info/indexyu.html.
I'd love to hear what you all think about this. Are we actually standing on the doorstep of some massive breakthrough?

It’s about as likely as finding out the Megamin was actually a revolutionary invention. If there were something real here, one of the major pharmaceutical giants would have already snapped up the exclusive rights.
There is no such thing as a "one-size-fits-all" cure for cancer, and there never will be. Every single type of cancer is its own unique beast, just like how the cell types driving sarcomas, lymphomas, leukemias, carcinomas, and brain tumors are all fundamentally different from one another.

Angela Wright said:It doesn't exist, and it never will. There’s no such thing as a "one-size-fits-all" cure for cancer. Every single type is its own beast—just like how the cell structures vary wildly between sarcomas, lymphomas, leukemias, carcinomas, and brain tumors. You can't treat them all the same.

Have you even looked at the case studies where this medication actually worked? Every single one is completely different.
Lung cancer, breast cancer, testicular cancer... does that sound like a universal cure to anyone else? Because to me, it kind of does.
😉 👍

David Jackson79 said:Have you actually looked at the cases where this drug worked? They’re all over the map.
Lung cancer, breast cancer, testicular cancer... you calling that a "universal cure"? To me, it kind of looks like it.
😉 👍

Sorry, I don't follow your logic😕. Even within breast cancer alone, there are several different subtypes.
I don't know how long you've been digging into this, but speaking as someone who isn't a pro but has spent a significant amount of time researching this, I'm telling you that's how it works. Any medical professional will tell you the exact same thing—it's just their everyday reality.

It’s been a while since I last posted, but I mentioned my dad here a bit ago. He has throat cancer. It was officially diagnosed six months ago, but he’s definitely been fighting this for about two years now. The doctors completely missed it, even though he kept going in for checkups. He went through radiation, and he lost about 90 pounds in just two months! He practically starved to death. To make matters worse, the hospital staff didn't even want to admit him because they didn't want to deal with a case like his—they basically brushed us off. They finally talked about putting some kind of feeding tube in him, but they waited until the absolute last minute, hovering over whether it should go in his intestine or his stomach, and then nothing happened. He’s running a constant fever, and we have no idea why. His throat is incredibly swollen, probably from the radiation being too intense. They tell me there’s nothing visible in his throat except for the edema from the radiation, which has almost completely closed off his airway, along with a ton of mucus. He’s coughing up pus. He’s heavily medicated on morphine and is already hallucinating. I’m meeting with the doctor tomorrow, and I can already tell they’re going to start talking about money. They notified us today that they want to discharge him and likely send him to a small town, USA (not happening as long as I'm breathing).
This is so incredibly hard. He’s deteriorated completely in just two weeks. Between not being able to eat because his throat felt like it was on fire, and then the swelling getting so bad that even crushed pills or water wouldn't go down... it's been a nightmare. I had such a hard time finding anyone willing to give him saline IV fluids just to keep him stable until the tube could be inserted. ("The doctor kept stalling.") And now, today, they’re telling me he’s too weak to even handle the procedure for a gastric tube. So instead, they want to leave the nasal one in and move him to a small town, USA, after I "consult with the doctor." I knew they weren't going to keep him at the hospital, but in an entire week, they haven't performed any tests. All they did was draw blood, give him IVs and food, and promise they would scan his lungs and heart, but nothing ever happened. No scans. No real testing. I don't even know if it has spread or not. Why the fever? Does he have pneumonia? Has it reached his brain? I don't know, God help us, I just don't know... all I know is they want to ship him out to a small town, USA. He's all I have, and I would sell both my kidneys just to give him one more year—even though they told him he has maybe two to five years, and he might not even make it six months. He’s only 55. I just need to vent, even if nobody reads this. Tomorrow, I’m honestly terrified I might actually gouge that doctor's eyes out if he brings up money. He hasn't done a single thing for him. No chemotherapy either. 👎

dustyranger11 said:It’s been a while since I posted, but I previously wrote about my dad. He has throat cancer. It was officially diagnosed 6 months ago, but he’s definitely had it for about 2 years. The doctors missed it entirely, even though he went in for checkups. He underwent radiation and lost about 90 pounds. (In just 2 months!) He practically starved to death. The hospital staff wouldn't even admit him because they didn't want dealing with someone in his condition—they basically blew us off. They finally put some kind of tube in his throat (but they waited until the very last second), telling us they’d eventually place a feeding tube in his esophagus or stomach, but nothing happened. He has a constant fever and we have no idea why. His throat is horribly swollen, likely from the intense radiation. They claim you can't see anything in his throat except for the radiation edema, which has almost completely closed it off, along with a massive amount of phlegm. He's coughing up pus. He's heavily medicated on morphine and is already hallucinating. I'm meeting with the doctor tomorrow, and I already know they’re going to bring up money. They notified us today that they’re discharging him and will probably send him to a Small town, USA facility—and they’ll have to go through me dead before that happens.
It is absolutely gut-wrenching. He deteriorated completely within two weeks. He couldn't eat because his throat felt like it was on fire, and then it swelled so much that even crushed pills or water couldn't get down. I barely managed to find anyone to give him saline IV fluids just to keep him stable until the feeding tube could be placed. ("The doctor kept stalling.") And now, today, they tell me he’s too weak to even handle the procedure for a gastric tube. Their solution? Leave the nasal one in and move him to a Small town, USA clinic, but they still want me to "talk it over" with the "Doctor." I knew they wouldn't keep him in the hospital, but in an entire week, they haven't performed any actual tests. All they did was draw blood, give him IVs and food, and promise to scan his lungs and heart, but nothing ever happened. No real diagnostic workup. I don't even know if it has spread or not. Why does he have a fever? Does he have pneumonia? Has it reached his brain? I don't know, God knows, I just don't know... all I know is they want to ship him out to some small town. He's all I have, and I would sell both my kidneys just to give him one more year of life (They told him he had 2–5 years, but he won't even make it 6 months). He's only 55. I just need to vent, even if nobody reads this, and honestly, I'm terrified that tomorrow I might actually gouge that doctor's eyes out if he dares mention money. He hasn't done a single thing for him. He didn't even get chemotherapy.👎

If he brings up money, walk away immediately, call the police, and let them deal with him when he tries to collect.
Honey, that isn't the only hospital in the world, nor is he limited to one oncologist. Get all his medical records and take him straight to another major hospital, and don't budge until someone there agrees to take him.

Stay strong!

I’d love to just transfer him to another hospital, but they won't take him. They’ll just claim he’s already being treated elsewhere and tell him to stay put. But where am I supposed to go? He's so sick he can't even walk—his muscles have completely atrophied from being bedridden. And he's hungry, too. To make matters worse, there aren't any test results after his radiation treatment; we only have the ones from before. Nobody has bothered to actually examine him since he finished. For all I know, everything happening might be side effects from the radiation rather than the cancer itself. Honestly, who knows? Even the doctors don't seem to have a clue. And don't get me started on them—they won't lift a finger if the doctor decides to wash his hands of the case and starts demanding cash under the table. (I've heard stories about people handing over money, giving a polite "thank you," and then absolutely nothing changes—it's like you didn't pay a dime). Sadly, I can't even record our conversations because my phone is basically a relic from the Stone Age. I’m ready to call the police and the New York Times. I would do anything, even risk everything, for my dad. You put your faith in these doctors, you pay your taxes and your premiums, and they just quietly let you slide into the grave...

dustyranger11 said:I’d love to move him to a different hospital, but they won't take him. They’ll just claim he’s already being treated elsewhere and tell him to stay put. Where am I supposed to go? He’s so sick he can’t even walk—his muscles have completely wasted away from lying in bed. And he’s hungry. Plus, there are zero follow-up tests after the radiation. We only have the ones from before. Nobody has bothered to actually examine him since the treatment. For all I know, everything happening is a side effect of the radiation rather than the cancer itself. I don't know. Honestly, God knows they don't either. Believe me, they won't lift a finger. If a certain doctor decides to wash his hands of the whole case and demands money... well, I’ve heard stories about people handing over cash only to be politely thanked while absolutely nothing changes. It’s like you never gave them a dime. Unfortunately, I can't record our conversations because my phone is basically a relic from the Stone Age. But I’m calling the police and the newspapers. I will die for my father if I have to. You trust the doctors, you pay your Medicare premiums and private insurance, and they just quietly bury you...

They will take him if you are persistent enough to be an absolute nuisance. Under the law, your father has the right to choose his physician. Don't back down or start building mental walls and obstacles for yourself. Take his paperwork and nag them like a debt collector. You can arrange transport—even an ambulance—to move him from one hospital to another. This can be organized quite smoothly through a primary care doctor, provided they aren't a total hack.
People pull this off every single day; it is entirely possible if you want it badly enough. You just have to apply pressure.

If my primary care doctor hadn't bailed on her specialization and left us hanging for two years—honestly, this whole setup is useless—things might be different. Instead, it’s a revolving door; every single week, it's a different face, or maybe it isn't, who knows anymore? They already caused me a massive headache regarding his IV drip because I live out in the middle of nowhere, and absolutely nobody can send a nurse out to cover my neck of the woods. Not to mention the exhaustion of having to recount the exact same medical history to a different doctor every single day. In just four days, three different people have tried to poke him with a needle. I’m just sitting here wondering if the condition has spread and if there's even any hope left... If it has spread, I'll just move him into a private assisted living facility; I don't care about the cost or the wait times, I'll handle it. But if it hasn't spread, and if all this is just side effects from the radiation and there actually *is* help available, but the system refuses to step up, then that's a whole different story. I'm terrified for tomorrow, but I'll admit, I'm a quiet person by nature, and that's my weakness. I'm not naturally the persistent type, but he only has me. I will squeeze every bit of effort out of this system, even if I end up behind bars, just to save a little more of his life.

dustyranger11 said:I haven't posted in a while, but I wrote before about my dad. He has throat cancer. It was diagnosed 6 months ago, but he's definitely had it for about 2 years. (The doctors missed it even though he went in for checkups). He went through radiation and lost about 90 lbs. (In just 2 months!) He nearly starved to death. The doctors didn't even want to admit him because they didn't want someone like him taking up a bed, and honestly, they don't give a damn. They eventually mentioned a feeding tube—waiting until the last minute—saying they'd put it in his throat, or maybe an intestinal or gastric tube, but nothing has happened. He has a constant fever and we have no idea why. His throat is horribly swollen (probably from the intense radiation). They say there’s nothing visible in his throat except for the radiation edema that's almost closed it off, along with tons of phlegm. He's coughing up pus. He's heavily on morphine and already hallucinating. I'm going to talk to the doctor tomorrow, and I already know they'll be asking for money. They notified us today that they're discharging him and will likely send him to a Small town, USA (and they'll have to go through me dead first).
It's so hard. He's deteriorated completely in just two weeks. The reason is he couldn't eat because his throat was burning, and then it swelled so much that even crushed pills or water wouldn't go down. I barely managed to find someone to give him an IV just to keep him going until the tube could be inserted. ("The doctor kept delaying it.") And today they tell me he's too weak to handle the gastric tube insertion. So they suggest leaving the nasal one and moving him to a Small town, USA, but tell me to "speak with the Doctor." I knew they wouldn't keep him in the hospital, but in a week they haven't performed any kind of tests; they just drew blood, gave him IVs and food, and promised to scan his lungs and heart, but nothing happened. No actual testing. I don't know if it spread or not. Why the fever? Does he have pneumonia? Has it reached his brain? I don't know, for the love of God, I just don't know... all I know is they want to ship him off to some Small town, USA. He's all I have, and I would sell both my kidneys just to get him one more year of life (They told him 2-5 years, but he won't even make it 6 months). He's 55. I need to vent, even if nobody reads this, and tomorrow I'm terrified I might actually gouge that doctor's eyes out if he mentions money. He's done nothing for him. He didn't even get chemo. 👎

God, if only you knew how many times I've recognized our situation. Unfortunately, you have to be rude, persistent, persistent, persistent, persistent, and then a little more persistent. You have to demand things from them and ask 100 times if necessary.
I don't know if I've written about this before and I don't know if my experience will help, but we went through a literal Calvary in the hospitals, and unfortunately, I don't have a single positive experience to share. Don't let this discourage you, but you have to give it everything you've got—turn heaven and earth upside down—to make sure they help your dad. My dad also had high fevers several days in a row, and no one, for the love of God, knew why. Was it from lying down causing pneumonia? Was it this or that? We didn't get an answer for days while his temperature stayed constantly above 100.4, sometimes even over 102. "Well, you know, ma'am, that's just from his primary illness"—that was their constant excuse for everything, but it wasn't true. Finally, my mom caused a massive scene on the ward because nothing else was working. You have to stay polite with them, but if it isn't working, it isn't working...

I admit that during that period, we were all right on the edge of a nervous breakdown. We were probably a bit more sensitive than usual (actually, a lot more), so we had short fuses and snapped at every little thing, but I think that's normal. You're dealing with the person you love most in the world and you'd give anything for my only uncle, so of course the apathy, negligence, and lack of care drive me insane. At the end of the day, we are all fighting—or were fighting—for the lives of our loved ones.

Listen, honey, just go for it. You’re going to find a level of strength inside yourself you didn't even know existed. Do everything in your power—and I mean absolutely everything—for your dad. And remember one more time: never, ever give up. Just stay brave 🙂🙂

Linda Peterson37 said:God, if you only knew how many times I’ve found myself in this exact same position. Honestly? You have to be rude. You have to be stubborn, persistent, relentless, and then—just when you think you've done enough—you have to be a little bit more persistent. You have to demand what's yours and ask them for things a hundred times if that's what it takes. Don't take no for an answer.
I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this before, and honestly, I don't know if my experience will even be helpful to you, but our family went through a total nightmare navigating the hospital system. To be blunt, I haven't had a single positive interaction with them. Please, don't let this discourage you, but you have to give it everything you've got. You have to fight tooth and nail to make sure they actually help your dad. My father went through the exact same thing—he had a high fever for several days straight, and for the life of God, nobody could tell us what was causing it. Was it pneumonia from being bedridden? Was it this or that? Or was it something else entirely? We would go days without getting a straight answer while his temperature stayed stuck above 100 degrees, sometimes even hitting 103. Every time we asked, they’d just give us the same old line: "Well, ma'am, that's just due to his underlying condition." They used that excuse for everything, but we knew it wasn't the truth. Eventually, my mom had to absolutely lose it and cause a massive scene on the ward because nothing was happening otherwise. Look, you should try to be polite and play nice with them, but if being nice isn't getting results, then you have to step up. If being reasonable doesn't work, it won't work.

I have to admit, during that stretch of time, we were all collectively teetering on the edge of a total nervous breakdown. We were way more sensitive than usual—actually, a hell of a lot more sensitive—so our fuses were incredibly short. We were snapping at every little thing, but honestly, I think that’s just human nature under that kind of pressure. I mean, look, you're dealing with the person you love most in this world. You would literally give anything for your only child. So, of course, when I see carelessness, hesitation, negligence, or just pure apathy, it’s going to get under my skin. It's bound to make me lose it. At the end of the day, we are all out here fighting—or we *were* fighting—for the lives of the people we love most.

Listen, honey, just go for it. You’re going to find a level of strength inside yourself that you didn't even know existed. Just give it everything you've got—and I mean *everything*—for your dad. And please, remember this: never, ever give up. Just stay brave. 🙂🙂

Thanks. I’ll post an update tomorrow on how everything went. I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure I don't look like a total amateur in front of that permanent Dr. I. D. guy—unless, of course, he ends up blinding me first. I'm filing my nails just in case.

Nancy Hernandez43 said:Tried to reply to this yesterday—but nope, my comment didn't even make the cut. Not published. Typical.🤷

How are you supposed to be happy when you're in total shock? You can't exactly avoid feeling pretty damn depressed when you're stuck in that state of disbelief. But look—I'm sure you'll find the strength. You’ll face it all head-on again, take a deep breath, and do whatever it takes to be your mom's biggest supporter and her fighter—her absolute warrior. Hang in there. Kisses.

Thanks. 🙂
Man, it sucks that she’s out of town right now when she’s feeling this crappy—getting her back to Washington, D.C. is going to be a total nightmare. It’s also weighing on me because of my dad; the poor guy is absolutely stressed out over all this.
I just hope she makes it to Washington, D.C. in one piece.
Thanks for the support. 🙂

quietpilot87 said:Thank you, 🙂
It is quite a predicament since she isn't currently in town, and given her condition, getting her to Washington, D.C. is proving to be a bit of an ordeal... My father is also struggling immensely with the stress of it all.
I simply wish for her safe arrival in Washington, D.C....
I appreciate the support, 🙂

I completely understand where you're coming from; we dealt with a very similar situation when my dad was driving my mom 311 miles down south, then back 311 miles up north... I truly admire how they managed to pull through everything, and I know yours will too... just stay strong and keep that determination alive for her recovery... Hang in there... 👍